A Squires Love
by Mage of the Heart
Summary: He was her Knight Master. Her friend. Her companion. Her Soulmate. M rating:Sex/Language. Prequel to Winter Rose.
1. Meetings and Greetings

**Meetings and Greetings**

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce Characters**

**This is a second version of my old story a Squires Love. Hope you like it, lots will be changed from the first one probably but oh well**

**Here goes. Please Read and Review and I will return the favour!**

* * *

Ivy of Goldenlake and Malories Peak woke up to the sound of thirty sets of hooves clattering on the stone of the palace courtyard. She jumped up and looked out of her small window. There was no mistaking the huge, curly-black-haired man who was her father. Hurriedly, Ivy pulled on a loose pair of breeches, a shirt and boots, before running to the crowd that was the Kings Own. She waited until her mother and father had finished saying a thoroughly non-verbal hello, before running over and hugging her tall father. At five feet seven inches, she tucked neatly under her fathers chin. After releasing her and pulling both his wife and daughter to his side, Lord Raoul waved the nearest page over and threw him a gold noble to stable and wash his mount. He looked down at Ivy and his very small wife with a large smile. 

"So where is he?" Raoul asked with a playful punch on his daughters arm.

"Who?" Ivy asked.

He grinned and ruffled her long hair. "The mad knight whos taking you on as their Squire, obviously he hasn't seen you fight or he'd be as scared as a rabbit." He grinned proudly. "You'll be beating him every fight you have and . . . "

Ivy interrupted. "I haven't got a Knight Master yet. I don't think I will have until next year either." she said sulkily. She pulled out of her fathers strong hold and walked to her Squire chambers, where she practised several pattern dances with her staff, and did twenty gruelling press-ups on the floor. She skipped lunch and soaked herself in a hot bath until she was as wrinkled as a prune. Finally she dried herself off and dressed in one of the dresses that her Aunt Thayet had bought for her. It was a knee length blue silk. Usually she wouldn't wear dresses unless it was a special occasion, but what with the chances of being a squire slim, she felt that dressing as a girl might be neccesary soon. She passed the few hours before dinner by reading a dull book, based on ladys etiquette at social events. It was not something she was interested in, and the idea of dances and weddings still seemed boring and plain, but the evidence seemed to be pointing in the direction of a ladys life all around now.

At dinner Raoul said little. Ivy too was quiet, Buri tried to converse but failed. Finally, Ivy gave up on food and bid farewell to her parents. She walked slowly to her rooms, trying not to show any of the Pages nearby that she was depressed or unchosen, for many of the fourth years had put bets on how long it would take her to find a Knight Master. Ivy sat on her windowbox watching two first years attempt and fail a staff, partnered exercise. She was about to yell out some advice when she heard a lone set of hooves enter into the Palace courtyard. She looked around and saw a tall warhorse, bearing a rider clad in gold-washed chain mail, with a sword and dagger clipped to his waist. The canvas covered shape attached ton one of the saddle bags showed that the rider was a knight, and by the looks of it he was a new one, for the canvas was still ina good condition. Ivy sat up and watched the rider dismount, removing his helmet and throwing two coins at the pages. From the distance, she couldn't hear what he said, but the Pages' immediate actions were to run to the horse, hand the saddle bags to the knight and lead the horse to the stables. Ivy surveyed the knight with interest. He was very tall, with brown-blonde hair that was messy from a long ride wearing a helmet. The rolled up shirt under his chain mail showed well muscled arms, and a long scratch from elbow to wrist. Even from this distance Ivy could see it was deep and fresh. She narrowed her eyes to see the knight more clearly and froze, a memory of something her father had said only weeks ago rushed back to her. _It isn't your Aunt Daine, Uncle Numair or anyone else that you want to look our for when it comes for tips on killing immortals, its Matthew of Tirragen. He's only been a knight for a month and hes already saved five villages from spidrens and stormwings. He's away at home now, taking a well deserved rest if you ask me. _Ivy eyed the man in the courtyard carefully. He looked just as she had heard, exactly the opposite of what a man who slayed immortals should do. There were hardly any scratches except for the one on his arms, he was seemingly calm, and something in the way he walked told her he wasn't as bigheaded as he could have been, or should have been, if all the things he was thought to have done were true. Suddenly a thought struck her. He didn't have a Squire. Although Ivy didn't know whether he wanted one or not, there would be no harm in trying. She jumped down from her seat and ran towards the courtyard, not thinking to change her much too elegant appearance back to her normal breeches and shirt. Only when she was twenty yards away from him did she remember that she would look much more of a woman than she ought if she wished to be a Squire. And Matthew of Tirragens reputation went much further than immortal-slayer. He was well known for his charming good looks, which often managed to earn him a place in strange womens beds, older or younger, they seemed simply to flock to him. The Knight turned and saw her. He gave the smallest of frowns, then walked over, his frown replaced by a handsome smile. He took her hand and brought it gently to his lips.

"Fair lady, how may I help you?" he said huskily. Ivy froze, such behaviour had never been directed at her before. When she didnt answer the Knight went on.

"Are you lost perhaps? Might I be able to lead you to the guest rooms?" Ivy found herself able to move again and shook her head.

"I was just . . . walking. I live here." she said.

The young man frowned slightly."I have not seen you here before, I am sure I would remember such a beauteous face as your own."

Ivy rolled her eyes, he probably memorised all of his lines so every woman he met would sigh, but he was in for a surprise with her. "Yes, I've lived here for the last four years, except when I'm at home of course." she gave him a small smile and turned on her heel. She stopped when a warm hand gently grabbed her wrist.

"Excuse me my lady," the Knight said. "I haven't introduced myself." he bowed slightly. "Sir Matthew of Tirragen, at your service."

Ivy sighed. "Unless you're one of my unknown servants, you are not at all at my service." Matthew gave her a crooked grin and stood, bringing himself closer to her, both hands in his.

"That depends on what you would like doing wouldn't you agree? After all, there's always things that some servants can do that others cannot." Ivy could tell from the flirtatious -rather attractives- glint in his eye what he meant.She smiled.

"You're right." She said, Matthew leaned forward, eyes half-closed."I don't have a servant to ready my horse in the evenings, I do rather enjoy an evening ride in the moonlight." Ivy had thought he would pull away but he didn't.

"I have a horse already prepared, and its raring to go.We can find somewhere quiet . . .the gardens perhaps?" he leaned closer, his mouth inches from hers. Ivy shook her head and pushed him away.

"Not that kind of horse Sir Knight. The furry type, with reins and a saddle." Matthew looked shocked, then recovered with a grin.

"I'm furry. And I'm tame. You don't need reins or saddle to ride me." He winked and took her hand, which she immediately jerked back.

"Good night Sir." she hissed and turned away.

"That just wouldn't do." she muttered under her breath. "What kind of Knight Master would he be anyway? He'd be coming on tome all the time. That wouldn't leave much room for duties!"

Matthew stared after her, confused. It had been a long time since he'd been rejected by a woman. With a confused expression over his features he headed to his own rooms, adjoined to an empty Squires chamber.

"Could do with a decent Squire." he murmured. "Bet they're all gone by now." He sighed. Squireless and rejected, how much worse could the night be?

**So? I know that all of my old readers will realise its a lot different, but I did say before he was a bit of a flirt, so I just went a bit deeper thats all. Please review.**

**Mage of the Heart**


	2. What are you playing at?

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

Ivy was in her rooms not long later, dressed in her night-shirt and clambering into her bed. She was annoyed herself for going dressed so impractically, she knew of his charms and looks, and if he had been looking for a Squire he would have wanted to be impressed by their work, not by their figure. She rolled onto her sides with a loud sigh and closed her eyes, awaiting sleep. It didn't come. Instead she found herself wishing she had stayed with Matthew, perhaps she could have explained the reasons behind her dress, even explained that she was looking for a knight master to take her on. _Yeah right! _she thought. _He wouldn't have let you talk if you'd stayed any more than five minutes! He'd have jumped on you! _She shrugged. _I suppose if he wasn't going to take me on as a Squire it wouldn't be so bad to kiss him. _Ivy shook her head. She had heard about him from her father and mother. He was in and out of womens beds faster than Keladry of Mindelan spun a Yamani glaive, which, Ivy knew, was extremely fast. Finally sleep came, but not as she would have wished. Dreams of paper shuffler knights and inky hands filled her head, closely followed by dreams of Spidrens with Matthew of Tirragens head, flirting and reaching out a hairy leg.

* * *

Matthew decided against sleep. Instead he went into the city, entering an Inn and blending into an evening of flirting. He left late, with a sixteen year old girl holding his hand and leading him to her small house. After a long night, he left, leaving the girl - whose name he didnt know - sleeping in her bed. He went back to the castle, where he slept roughly, wondering as he closed his eyes who the woman - or girl, he wasnt sure which - was.

* * *

Ivy went down to the practice courts early, her black hair tied back, dressed in a practical pair of breeches and a shirt. She took her staff, sword and bow down with her, practising archery, sword drills, and tilting practice with a small circle of wood hanging from a string and blowing in the wind. After a half-hour on each, she left and headed back to her room for a bath, sinking into the shadows when she saw Matthew of Tirragen heading towards the practice court that she had just left.

* * *

Matthew thought he saw someones silhouette in the shadows, but ignored it, heading for the yard where he planned to spend the next two hours working up a sweat with his sword. He only managed one hour before he gave up on a morning of hard work and headed back, after two months battling Spidrens, he wasn't worried about going rusty. Seeing the tall figure of Lord Raoul of Goldenlake, he ran over intending to enquire about Squires. 

"As a matter of fact, there is one," Lord Raoul replied, but he gave the young man a wary look.

"Who?" Matthew questioned. "I can't fight Spidrens on my own for the rest of my life, and it would definitely be worth the experience for the lad."

Raoul sighed. "You hit the nail right on the head Tirragen, it isn't a lad, and don't take this the wrong way, but the way you go through your women, the experience for the girl might be more than intended!"

Matthew stared. A girl? He was not against women warriors, two had proved more than worth having in recent years, but he was still realistic. Women were emotional, even if they could look after themselves. There were certainly times in the month that women got angry, stressed, even sick. The way women worked was a completely impractical creation for fighters.

"From your face I'll be guessing you won't take her then. Would I be correct?" Lord Raoul questioned.

Matthew shook his head slowly. "I'll see what she's like. If she'll pull her weight and work hard and not slow me down, maybe I'll think about it."

Raoul nodded, then gave the man a warning look. To a smaller man, it would have been menacing, even scary, but Matthew was an inch taller than the giant Lord of Goldenlake, and met his gaze levelly. _Never wondered what it must be like for him to have someone taller than him. Maybe he's shrunk now hes gotten old. _Matthew grinned inwardly, then spoke. "Where is she then?"

Raoul gazed at him carefully. "You won't try anything on her if you take her on will you?"

Matthew frowned. "I might like women, but I wouldn't sleep with my Squire Sir!" Raoul grinned and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Come on then, we'll go find her." With a smile, Matthew followed him up to the Squires wing.

* * *

Ivy had just finished dressing in fresh clothes, when there was a knock on the door. She opened it, hastily tying her hair back. The first person she saw was Raoul, the only odd thing about him was the slight crown of brown-blonde hair that could be seen over the top of his head. Ivy waved her father in, then froze, just as the man in front of her did. She looked up into the eyes of Matthew of Tirragen, then gulped. Raoul didnt notice his daughters odd behaviour. 

"This is Matthew of Tirragen. Matthew this is my daughter Ivy." he turned to Ivy. "Matthews interested in taking a Squire."

Ivy gulped. She tried to talk, but her throat was bone dry. It was Matthew that recovered first.

"Erm . . . hi," he said, holding out a hand, a slight, forced smile on his face. "Its nice to meet you."

It was only then that Raoul cast a careful look at his daughter and her possible Knight-Master. Hehad known Matthew of Tirragen for several years, and he knew that the young man was rarely at a loss for words. His daughter seemed positively incapable of speech. That too was rare. Of course, it was quite possible that she was merely surprised that a famed first-year Knight was standing in her doorway, or that she was attracted to him. It was likely of course. He was a good looking young man, and it was well known he was a charmer. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Ivy recovered and quickly shook the offered hand, pulling back quickly and trying to ignore the fact that the man had only last night invited her to share his bed.

"Morning." she managed, then walked to stand by her father. He cast her a strange, questioning glance, then went on.

"Yes, well as I was saying . .. Matthew would like to take on a Squire. I recommended that the two of you met and he could look you over." Ivy faked a thankful smile before he continued. "Why don't we go down the practice courts and you can show Matthew your sword, staff and bow work?" Ivy nodded, as did Matthew. Raoul smiled.

"I'll meet you there in five minutes. Why don't you two talk and . . . familiarise yourselves with each other?" Ivy smiled.

"Sure Dad."

"Yes sir," Matthew said with a grin.

Raoul left with a wave, closing the door behind him. Instantly Ivy turned on Matthew.

"What the hell are you playing at?" she hissed. Matthew gasped.

"Me? What about you?"

"You're the one that tried it on with me not the other way round!" Ivy half-yelled.

"I didn't know you were a Squire! Its not my fault, and you didn't say you were one! Why were you wearing a dress if you're a Squire?" Matthew enquired.

"Just because I am a Squire doesn't mean I can't wear a dress you know!" Ivy was angry, Matthew could tell that much from the sudden redness of her face.

"I never said you couldn't!" he said calmly. "But running round in a dress isn't the best way to attract a potential Knight-Master . . . well not in that way at least." Ivy stared open-mouthed.

"I didn't head out to attract you! I was walking and you happened to be there!" Ivy resisted the temptation to thump the young man in the face.

"Alright, but your Dad wants us in the practice courts so . . . lets go." Matthew held the door open and bowed mockingly. Ivy rolled her eyes, picked up her sword and headed out without a word of thanks to him. Matthew frowned and watched her retreating back for several seconds before jogging to catch up.

* * *

**This may be a little short. . . oh well please review. **

**Mage of the Heart**


	3. Squire?

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

The two of them walked down to the practice courts in an awkward silence, neither wanted to talk about the embarassing situation they had put themselves in the night before. _Well, its actually his fault. _Ivy told herself, _he came onto me not the other way round. I wonder what Dad would do if he found out. _That thought was enough to entertain her as she headed towards the courts, trying to ignore the fact that Matthew was casting her side-long looks every few metres. 

When they finally reached the practice courts, Raoul and Buri were already there. Ivy headed to the corner of one to stretch off before beginning, while Matthew walked over to Ivy's parents. Ivy watched them with one eye, trying to decipher from Matthews lip movements what he was saying, it was a trick that her Uncle George and cousin Aly had been trying to drill into her since she was little, but Ivy had never caught on and now regretted that she had paid so little attention. After a few minutes Matthew went to the other side of the court and started to stretch. Several minutes later he was finished and was spinning his sword in a silver blur in a complicated sword drill. Ivy rolled her eyes and walked to the middle of the court, waiting for the young knight to join her. He gave her a small grin which she returned as a scowl, before calling to Raoul and informing him that they were ready. Raoul nodded.

"Go!" he called. Ivy immediately began to circle him, watching as he spun his blade between his fingers. She tried to ignore the part of her that was admiring his stamina to waste energy spinning a heavy sword. She managed it completely when he stopped sharply and darted in,a lucky jump back saved her from being impaled on his sword.

"Careful Ivy!" Raoul called from the side. "He can't be your knight master if you get killed!" Ivy rolled her eyes and side-stepped a well-aimed lunge. Matthew brought his sword up high, then swung it down. Ivy blocked, the power behindthe blow jarring her arm and sending pain screeching upto her shoulder.She swore anddropped to the floor, rolling sideways away fromhim. She was just scrabbling to her feet when Matthew sliced a shallow cut into her shoulder.

"One-nil!" Matthew said quietly, offering her a hand up. She hit it away and got up on her own.

"You got lucky that time,I won't let it happen again."Ivy said,circling her shoulders.

"Good, because that was way too easy!" He told her. Ivy spun roundand saw a mischevious glint in his eye, much like the one she had seen the night before.He stuck his tongue out of thecorner of his mouth, making sure that Raoul and Buri didn't see it.Matthew gripped her shoulder lightly then went back to the middle.

"And again?" he asked. Ivy rolled her eyes then joined him, rubbing the shallow cut that had been opened.

"Go!" Raoul said, then turned away to kiss his wife. Ivy immediately attacked, taking the young knight by surprise. She swept in with a clean butterfly sweep, which he blocked with a smile.

"So you can fight, maybe I can work up a bit of a sweat!" he winked at her, before lashing one foot out and sending her onto her back.

"Or not!" he said, advancing on her slowly. Ivy grinned to herself and flipped on to her feet. It caught Matthew by surprise and she began a series of complex sweeps and cuts. Matthew blocked and parried, a small grin on his face. "You're full of surprises aren't you?" he said, jumping back and wiping away a bead of sweat. "Maybe you could be useful . . . if you were willing to be in my command all of the time that is!" He darted in again.

"Well, if I didn't know what a flirt you were," Ivy wrapped her sword around his and flicked it up out of his hands, "I might be willing." she cut a small line across his arm. "But if being in your command means I do exactly what you want whenever you want, then I wouldn't be." Matthew was staring at her. "What?" she snapped. He shook his head.

"Nothing, I just haven't been beaten in a while, and nobody has talked to me like that since I was about three and getting told off for being stuck up."

Ivy grinned. "You? Stuck up? I can't imagine that!" she said sarcastically.

Matthew gaped. "Whats that meant to mean?" He demanded.

"Well, you did seem like you thought you'd get everything you asked for last night and that nobody would ever deny you." she pointed out.

"Nobody had until I met you!" Matthew replied, sticking his tongue out at her before picking up his sword. "One more for the record?"

Ivy sighed, "alright, but I'm getting tired, I'd already done an hour and a half before this today." Matthew smiled.

"Means I can beat you then right?"

"Maybe, but it will be a fluke!" she said, though she knew that he was highly capable of beating her.

Raoul and Buri were by now entangled in an embrace, so Matthew nodded and the two began again. Ivy was truly tired, her legs were heavy, she was sweating and her arms felt too weak to be able to move. Matthew however was still going strong, the only sign of his work the small amount of sweat that dripped from one particular strand of hair. Ivy blocked his attacks weakly, only just getting her sword up in time on several occasions. Matthew smiled at her.

"Don't worry, I can make it quick if you like?" He said.

Ivy rolled her eyes at his arrogance and ducked down to slice at his legs. His knees bent, then unbent, and he went soaring into the air, tucking into a ball as he went over her head. Ivy gawped, then felt a searing pain down her back. She dropped her sword and put her hand to her spine. Blood covered her hands. She felt a hand under her armpit as someone helped her up. She didn't see who it was, but she knew it was Matthew. She said nothing and let him guide her over to the side, instead she put pressure on her wound to stop the bleed.

"Hold still while I sort it alright?" Matthew said into her ear, though his voice sounded distant and far away. She felt his hand on her back, then a slight tingle. The pain left and she frowned, looking around she saw his hand glowing a pale blue.

"I have the Gift!" he stated.

"I can see that!" Ivy snapped. "I didn't say you could heal me though did I?"

Matthew grinned and shook his head. "No, but you'd have lost lots of blood and stained you're nice clean clothes so much it couldn't come out!" he mocked.

"I don't care, I'd have got new ones!" she said.

"Yes, I know, and you'd be wasting clothes wouldn't you, now they can just get washed and sewn up and they'll be as good as new!" he was grinning now.

Ivy stared at him, unable to say anything. Matthew nodded.

"Good girl!" he said, as if he was talking to a dog or a young child. Ivy growled something about mens arrogance, then went to her father who offered hera water bottle. She smiled and took it, downing its contents.

"So? What do you think of him?" Raoul asked.

Ivy shrugged. "He's a good fighter, but hes as arrogant as a pig!" Raoul frowned. He had never understood the connection between pigs and arrogance.

"He's going to be a little arrogant." Buri pointed out. "He's fought and killed loads of spidren, I heard the people of Owlshollow are singing songs about him having eight arms and swords." She raised an eyebrow in thought. "I don't see how they got that from looking at him, but I suppose its just a way of getting their point across." she shrugged. "Plus, all men like to beat a woman in a fight. You know how annoyed they'd be to admit they were beaten by one!" Raoul stared open mouthed at his wife.

"That isn't true!" He insisted.Buri grinned.

"Admit it, before Alanna and Kel, girls were nothing more than possible wives and cleaners to you!" Raoul opened his mouth then shut it again. Ivy shook her head, leaving her mother and father and heading for her second bath of the day. She was just turning down the corridor to her rooms when she heard footsteps on the ground behind her. Looking around, she saw Matthew jogging after her. She sighed, but waited until he caught up. Matthew grinned at her, handing over her dropped sword. She murmured a thank you and clipped it back to her belt. He didn't move and she frowned.

"What?" she asked.

"Err . . . well . . . ok. If I'm a good boy, and I don't try hitting on you, would you consider being my Squire?" Matthew said, leaning casually onto the wall.

Ivy stared at him for several seconds. Was he being serious? She wasn't in the mood to be messed around. She shrugged to herself. If he was, he'd just have to live with it.

"Alright," she said. "If you promise you won't try anything."

"Promise!" Matthew said with grin. He straightened to full height. "I'll help you move your stuff to my rooms tomorrow, tonight you need rest and lots of water. You'll be tired from the healing." Ivy nodded. He saluted her, then walked down the corridor. When he was about twenty metres away he turned and said. "While you're at it. . ." he sniffed the air. "You might want to take a bath!" Ivy stared at him as he grinned, then began to run after him. He laughed and sprinted ahead. Ivy gave up when she got to her rooms. She was tired now, and she did need a bath, whether he had been joking or not. With a weight of worry lifted off her shoulders, she went into her room and asked her maid for another bath.

* * *

**Hi everyone, I hope you like it, I don't know how good it is so I would value you're views and everything. Cheers to all of my reviewers. **

**Mage of the Heart**


	4. Comparisons

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters.**

* * *

Ivy slept late, the healing from her wound taking its toll. She groaned when there was a knock at the door and heaved herself out of her bed, pulling on a pair of breeches. Opening the door she saw Matthew grinning at her. 

"Eurgh . . . you're a morning person aren't you?" Ivy complained.

"Not at all. I hate mornings, but seeing as its now past midday, I don't think that really matters do you?" he winked at her then peered into her rooms. "Crikey, they aren't joking when they say a girl owns too much are they?"

Ivy looked around. There was a chest full of dresses and another of shirts and breeches. Her sword and other equipment stood in the corner, but Ivy knew it was the clothes he was complaining about."There isn't all that much in here you know, and just because we don't wear the same clothes day-in day-out doesn't mean we own too much!"

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Whatever." he said. "When we get moving its practical clothes or none at all." Ivy glared at him. He realised what he had said and went on. "I didn't mean it like that . . . its just a figure of speech, well not exactly but . . . oh come on, I'm not going to hit on my Squire!"

Ivy rolled her eyes. She was hardly awake and not in the mood to complain.

"Anyway, we need to move your things, so I'll give you half an hour, then I'll be back and you better be ready!" he ruffled her hair and sniffed. "Glad you had that bath by the way. You smell like strawberries and cream!" he clasped his hands and faked a dreamy look as he drew away. Ivy shut the door just in time to stop him seeing her laugh.

"He's bonkers." she said to herself. "It wasn't even strawberry soap!" she dressed and began to pack up her things. When Matthew returned, several boxes covered the floor.

"Lots of trips back and forward for you then." he stated, picking up the heaviest one. "I'm only going there once!"

"What!" Ivy gasped. Matthew grinned.

"Now, now, never question a Knight-Master. Maybe I'll be nice, but only if you promise not to question me again. Understand?" Ivy nodded glumly.

"Moody git." she said under her breath. Matthew turned.

"What was that?" he asked with a frown.

"I'm a twit." Ivy improvised. Her Knight-master laughed.

"I know that, you don't need to tell me." He backed out of the room as Ivy grabbed a boot and flung it at him. It missed and hit the wall.He tutted.

"Terrible aim, I don't think I'll ever give you a slingshot or bow." He disappeared down the hall and Ivy followed with two lighter boxes.

"Well, at least it won't be dull with him!" she told herself.

* * *

Ivy developed many bruises over the next few weeks. Matthew was a fanatic when it came to keeping up his skills, and it seemed that he liked to have a practice partner. Ivy refused to allow him to heal anything except her greatest cuts, not wanting to be bed ridden fordays afterwards, so she was soon sporting several large cuts in several areas of her body. Her clothes were being replaced more often than they often had been, and Ivy was having to explain to the palace workers that she didn't rip her clothes for sport, at least once a week. A month into her service, Matthew was called to Meron, to take care of a group of spidrens. Ivy was to go with him,and although when he asked her she said she was fine, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. She was no fan of spidrens, not because she was scared of them, merely because she thought that their eight legs were far too creepy. It was not so much the idea of killing them that worried her, but the idea that she would probably hear a spider-thing talking, something that she had always tried not to imagine. The night before they left for Meron, Ivy fell into a long exhausting sleep, and in the morning, instead of feeling refreshed, she felt even worse than she had before. 

Matthew was already in the stables when she arrived. Both of their geldings were already saddled. Ivy managed a scowl at her Knight master for taking her job, before slinging herself into the saddle. Matthew yawned.

"Don't worry, I didn't do it, I got one of the stableboys and paid him a gold noble for it." he said. "I only just got here. I don't get up all that early you know!"

"Yes sir." Ivy yawned. Matthew shook his head and jumped onto his tall black geldings back.

"I want it slow ok? Magic isn't used to early mornings." he said,patting his horses neck. He looked at her then grinned. "It doesn't look like you are either though so I don't think I'll be too scared of breaking the speed limit."

Ivy nodded briefly, then kicked her palomino gelding, Thunder, into a trot. They left in silence, Ivy putting all of her concentration into staying awake, Matthew thinking of how best to get rid of the eight legged immortals he had come to be hated by.

* * *

Meron was quiet on their arrival. Most people were inside, eating breakfast. The few people who were out walking paid little or no attention to the two strangers arriving on horseback. The canvas covered shape that hung from Matthews saddle was enough to show that it was a noble and that they were either just passing through or here on business with the Lord of Meron. Matthew lead Ivy to the house where Geoffrey of Meron, her fathers old friend, lived. After tying their horses to two posts, Matthew knocked on the large oak door.It opened almost instantly, revealing the servant who sat by the door by night. Matthew nodded and spoke to him. The boy ran off and returned minutes later accompanied by a large man holding a knife. 

"What's it ya' wan' with m' lor' sir. He' been worrie' sick fo' week' bou' those darned spidren. If you're 'ere on business it'll 'ave to wai'." The man said. Matthew nodded.

"I'm not here on business. I was asked to come by your Lord Geoffrey. I'm Matthew of Tirragen, I've come to sort out the 'darned spidrens' as you put it." He said courteously.

The man gave him a strange look then spoke again. "I've 'eard 'bout you. You're the la' whos grea' uncl' trie' 'o kill his majest'. There' no way m' lord wi' be a' talkin' to you sir. You may as well 'ave staye' at 'ome, wi' th' res' of your traitorous clan!" the man slammed the door halfway. Only to find that Matthews arm held it open.

"Don't think I haven't heard many accusations like that. You aren't the first and I daresay you won't be the last, but I can assure you now that my traitorous uncle was nothing like me. Now think what you like about me, but your lord did ask for me to come, and I am not going to leave until I speak with him in person. Understand?" Matthew gazed at the man with something between anger and command. Ivy could tell that he took the insult to his honour to heart, and admired his control. The servant nodded, then ran away. Matthew pulled the door shut and sat on the stone steps. Ivy walked over with concern and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"My Lord?" she asked quietly. Matthew looked up.

"I'm fine. I just hate it every time I get compared to . . . him." Ivy nodded as he went on. "I got it when I was a page, I took months to find a Knight master, and now I'm a Knight people still question it. Even though they all know that the bloody chamber shows us for what we are."

Ivy joined him on the step. "Why didn't your Uncle fail the chamber sir? It must have known he wouldn't serve the crown . . . musn't it?"

Matthew shook his head. "He was serving the crown. He was just trying to put it on someone elses head at the same time. I wish the chamber had killed the ruddy bastard, but it didn't and I have to live with his stupid screw up." He punched the stone step he sat on, causing his knuckles to bleed.

Ivy shook her head and took out her handkerchief, wrapping her Knight-Masters hand up to stop the bleed. "You shouldn't do that. There's nothing you can do now, and you weren't alive when he was, so nobody can say you were involved."

"It still doesn't make it any better. They'll always say it. Everyone knows it." he shook his head. "Maybe the chamber was screwed up that year. Gareth, his Majesty and Raoul deserved their shields. He didn't." he stood up and went to rest his head on the wall. Ivy stayed put, unsure what to do. She was just about to get up and talk to him when the door opened and a man with greying brown hair **(A.N. I don't remember what colour Geoffreys hair was)** walked out onto the steps. Matthew and Ivy both looked round, thenIvy jumped up and bowed, while Matthew walked forward and shook the mans hand, introducing himself and Ivy. Geoffrey nodded to them both before inviting them in. Ivy followed Matthew closely, feeling suddenly very youngagain. Matthew cast her a questioning look when she bumped into him, then grinned, waitinguntil Geoffrey was a few metres away before whispering, "aww,little baby!" in her ear. Ivy swiped at him, but he dodged andshookhisfinger at her.She scowled at him, but made an effort to stay a few metres behind him from then on.

They reached a small room, furnished with a varnished wooden table and several cushioned chairs. There were pitchers of apple juice and wine in the middle of the table, along with several glasses. Matthew and Geoffrey sat down as Ivy moved to pour the drinks. Geoffrey shook his head at her and motioned for her to sit down. When she didn't, Matthew grabbed her arm and pulled her down onto the chair next to him. He poured himself and Ivy a glass of apple juice. Geoffrey waved away his offer of one and began to talk.

"Its got worse since I contacted you. More of them than ever now, must be about a hundred or something. Half of Meron's here now, too scared to go out in case they come by. The other half thought they were good enough with weapons to kill them and ended up being their breakfast. I'm ashamed to say I wouldn't have asked you to come if it hadn't been so bad. You're greatuncle was . . . a disappointment. He used to be my friend before that you know? Anyway, I wouldn't have, but I did, I need someone who can kill them. Perhaps if you save my village I won't feel so cold towards the people of Tirragen."

Matthew nodded, and Ivy could see that once again he was trying to control the insult of being compared to his great uncle.

"They're nested in the caves of the hills. I have no idea how you can beat them, but if you can . . ." Matthew nodded again and stood up.

"Come on, Ivy." he said.

Ivy frowned. "Now?"

"YES!" Matthew snapped. He left the room, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm sorry sir!" Ivy said to Geoffrey. She bowed then headed towards the door.

"He isn't like his Uncle. Is he?" Geoffrey asked thoughtfully.

"His Great Uncle? No, sir, he's not. He just takes it to heart. She bowed again and left.

* * *

**There, next chapter done, hope you like, i had to do that bit about Alex 'cause its been bugging me for years why he passed the Ordeal. Anyway, please review. **

**Mage of the Heart**


	5. Enter the Pyro

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

Matthew was saddled up on Magic, holding Thunders reins in his spare hand. Ivy opened her mouth but he shook his head. "Lets just get rid of the spidrens then go home alright." It wasn't a question, it was an order. Ivy sighed and slung herself into the saddle. 

"Fine." she said, and waited for Matthew to lead them. He pulled on his reins and kicked Magic into a gallop. With a shake of the head, Ivy followed him.

It was several minutes before either of them said anything. Thunder was just pulling level with Matthew and his mount when Matthew looked at Ivy. "What did he say when I left?"

Ivy looked at him then said, "He asked me if you were really like your uncle or not."

"What did you tell him?" Matthew said, slowing to a trot. Ivy followed suit and fell in beside him.

"That you weren't and that you just took it to heart when you were compared to your uncle." she explained. Matthew gave her a small smile and leant across the small gap between their horses to plant a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks." he said, then grinned. "Lets go kick some butt." he nudged his horse and thundered ahead. Ivy was frozen for several seconds. _What was that about?_ she thought. Matthew turned around and called to her.

"Oi, slow coach, I wanna try and finish the job this year you know?" Ivy rolled her eyes and joined him again.

"Well, if I hurry up, you'll end up eating my dust!" she stuck her tongue out and dismissed the confused feelings about his kiss, putting it down to his strange personality.

* * *

When they reached the caves, Matthew dismounted and motioned for Ivy to do the same. When she went to speak he shook his head and held a finger to his lips, crouching down to pick up a silvery fluid that ran through his fingers. Ivy saw him mouth the word 'lovely' before dropping it and tying Thunder and Magic to a rock.He walked up the small pebbled path that led up to the nearest cave on his tiptoes. Ivy followed nervously, not sure that she wanted to reach the top of it.When he reached the top he sat on a rock and took out his sword,muttering something that made blue fire glow around his fingers and then sink into the swords blade. Ivy stayed back until the glow vanished then went up to meet him. He pulled her sword quietly from its sheath at her belt and did the same to her sword as he had to his. Ivy hesitantly took it when he offered it to her and felt a magical charge inside it. She also noticed several strange markings on the blade which had not been there before. She shot hims a questioning look and he drew the words 'they'll help' in the air. Blue magic glittered then disappeared. Ivy shrugged. She couldn't argue anyway, she'd only give their positionaway to the spidrens, and maybe she could do with the help. 

Matthew lead her to the mouth of the nearest cave and pressed himself against the wall, slipping in discreetly. Ivy followed. She didn't see where she put her foot, and stepped on a branch. It snapped in half. Matthew spun round to look at her, alarm in his usually calm eyes. Ivy swore at herself and mouthed 'sorry' to him. He moved back to her and waved his arm in the direction of the cave mouth. There was a loud cackle from behind and Ivy instinctively grabbed Matthews hand. He looked at her for a second, then gave it a reassuring squeeze. Then, keeping hold on her hand, he muttered something. Their swords began to glow a bright blue colour, blinding Ivy for several seconds. When she could see again Ivy gulped. Ten spidrens surrounded them. The largest, a male with a tanned face, cackled. Ivy shuddered. It was the sort of cackle children were told evil sorceresses used, not a male spidren.

"What do we have hear my pets?" he asked the rest of his clan. Ivy frowned, she couldn't imagine anyone keeping spidrens as pets. The female nearest to him waddled forwards. Ivy noticed with disgust that instead of eight legs, she sported four full ones and four stumps. Matthews hand loosened on hers and Ivy looked at him. She was shocked to see a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Its . . . the Hunter." the spidren whispered. There was a sudden hushed silence. The female went on. "And he has a wench." Ivy opened her mouth but Matthew shook his head commandingly. She held her tongue, anger brewing in her chest.

"I see you still don't know my name Prescilla." he said icily. "And I see you're still missing the limbs I severed from you the last time we met. Don't you grow them back?" Ivy felt his fingers twitch and sensed that he was biding his time before attacking them all. The spidren hissed at him.

"If I were you Hunter I'd run before they do grow back." Matthew laughed.

"I think you'll be long gone by the time they begin to grow back." there was a sudden flash of blue light and the three nearest spidrens' heads fell to the floor, severed from their necks. The others scuttled away from them. Matthew released Ivy's hand and for a fleeting second she felt a twinge of disappointment. Then however, she saw the spidrens advancing and forgot about it. She exchanged her sword to her right hand and spun it in a butterfly sweep. The nearest spidren screamed as her blade sliced its two front legs off. She ran him through then killed another two. When only the leader was left, Ivy joined Matthew again. He rested a hand briefly on her shoulder before heading forwards to meet the spidren. Ivy lowered her sword slightly, trusting Matthew to take care of him. Without warning white fluid shot from the creatures legs, wrapping itself around Ivy. She was yanked onto her back and dragged to the feet of the spidren. She crinkled her nose with distaste as she got the full impact of his odour. She managed to croak the words, "I thought stormwings were supposed to smell bad!" but then stopped, difficulty to breathe taking its toll. Ivy felt herself go faint, then blacked out.

Matthew stared at his unconscious Squire for several seconds, then whispered. "Let her go." the Spidren cackled and raised a hairy leg. A small pincer was at its end. Matthew froze.

"I think a little extra dinner won't go amiss for my other spidrens. Or perhaps I should keep her. . ." he lowered his pincer, "for breeding." Matthew felt sick. He had heard of centaurs raping and mating with human women, but spidrens were not known for it.

"Leave her alone." Matthew growled. His hand flew to his dagger, but his fingers met with web fluid. He yanked his hand away and called upon his Gift, fire glittering around his whole body. Matthew didn't know how much Gift he could control, but he wasn't going to let a spidren kill his squire, if it meant he had to blow the dratted thing to smithereens, then he would, and if he blewhimselfup in the process,he didn'tcare, he wasn't going to let her get mated with by a furry immortal. Anger fuelled his Gift more than he knew to be possible, soon he was burning with fire, his Gift now a firey red,not its usual blue.He threweverything he had into a large burning ball of fire. The Spidren screamed, butthe noise was smothered by thefire. There was an explosion, thensilence. Matthew fell to thefloor, managing to crawlover and tear the webs away fromIvys face and body, beforepassing out, his head hitting her arm and resting there.

* * *

**So? Its a bit short but oh well. I don'tknow what it was all about really, but if you lotdon't like itI'll scrap andrestart this chapter. Please review. **

**Mage of the Heart**


	6. The Hunter and His Squire

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

Ivy came to with hard rock under her head and a stiffness in her whole body. She went to sit up, then felt the weight on her arm. Looking down she saw Matthew, unconscious but breathing, cheek pressed into her arm. She sat up slowly and groaned as her back crackled at the movement. Gently she took her Knight-masters head in her hands, then dropped it onto her knee in horror. He was boiling hot. He looked normal, except for the thin layer of sweat that covered his face, but he was truly burning up. She lowered his head to the ground, then jumped up, ignoring the protesting of her legs. She ran down to their horses and undid both of the ropes. Ivy lead them up to the cave, unhooking a flask and uncorking the lid. When she reached Matthew she splashed the contents on his face. Steam rose from his skin, his eyes flew open and his hand went to his belt. Ivy grabbed it and forced him to drink the last of the water in the bottle. Matthew gasped his thanks, then closed his eyes. Magic walked over from the corner of the cave and butted his master in the face. Ivy saw a small smile on Matthews face, and took the blanket that lay draped over the horses back, folding it into a pillow and laying it under his head. She fed the horses before going out to find food. When she returned to the cave, she had two dead rabbits ready to be gutted and skinned. Matthew was sleeping, and Ivy began to wonder what had made him pass out, and what had made him sweat and heat up so badly. While preparing the rabbits, Ivy kept one eye on him, making sure he was comfortable. After making a small fire and cooking their meal, she placed them on two plates, wafting one under Matthews nose. His nostrils crinkled slightly, then his eyes fluttered open. He smiled slightly at her, then sat up slowly, taking the plate and picking at the meat. Ivy ate her own, then gave the few remains to the horses. She was surprised to see when she turned around that all of the meat on Matthews plate had gone and he was sleeping once again. She shook her head, then lay in the opposite corner of the cave, covering herself in a blanket and going to sleep.

* * *

Ivy woke up to find Matthew and Magic gone. Thunder stood in the corner, pawing slightly at a small patch of grass. Ivy got up and went down to the cave mouth. Matthew was just visible in the river just below the hill. Magic was next to him, Ivy guessed, for support if he weakened again. She waited for several minutes until Matthew began to walk out of the river, then she walked down to meet him. She reached him just as he rested an arm over the horses back. 

"You should have woken me." she stated, walking over and slinging one of his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm fine." Matthew argued, moving his arm away from her. He stumbled almostinstantly.

"I can see that." Ivy drawled. She took his arm again and helped him up to the cave.

"I could have crawled you know?" Matthew said, as she helped lower him to the ground.

"Yeah, and I could have run up and down the hill a million times as you did it." Ivy said cheekily, stepping out of his reach. Matthew sighed.

"If I wasn't this weak, you'd be in a headlock by now."

Ivy grinned. "Better make the most of it then hadn't I?"

There was a moments silence before Ivy said. "What happened after I passed out?"

Matthew looked down. "Nothing . . . I just, got in a bit of a . . . stress." he muttered.

Ivy frowned. "Go on, this sounds interesting."

Matthew shot her a glare then went on. "Alright, I got annoyed with the bastard of a spidren and went a bit psycho! Satisfied?"

Ivy shook her head. "What did you do?"

"Blew him up." Matthew murmured.

"How much gift did you use? Everyone can do one explosion!" Ivy gasped.

Matthew grinned. "I think I might have tapped into my Gift a little too far." Ivy waved a hand telling him to go on. He sighed. "You know my Gifts normally pale blue?" Ivy nodded. "Well, I went fiery red. Thats why I was so hot yesterday." he grinned at his own phrasing. "Did you like it?"

"Like what?" Ivy asked.

"Me being all hot on you." He winked.

Ivy threw a screwed up blanket at him. "Glad to see you didn't burn your sense of humour up in that blaze. Make sure you don't go Pyrotic again alright?"

Matthew frowned. "What'd you mean?"

"Don't use so much Gift alright?" Ivy said calmly.

"Why not? It was fun. Seriously, I was on fire." He smiled.

"I know you were. Listen, when we get home I'll get Uncle Numair to explain it to you. He'll love the idea of a Pyro in Tortall." she sighed and went over to Thunder. "I'm going to bathe."

"You know, I've got nothing against you getting Numair to explain to me, but I'll be the one whos organising meetings for us alright." he closed his eyes. "Watch out for the rocks. They hurt your feet."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "I'll bare that in mind." she said.

* * *

It was several days before Matthew was able to walk around again, and he was unable to use any ounce of Magical Gift. Ivy killed several spidrens who wandered into the cave, burning them on a fire at night, disgusted that she had to touch their disgustingly hairy legs to move them out of the cave. Matthew found this highly amusing, and would often catch her eye and chuckle at random. 

A week after their arrival, Matthew was preparing the best way to kill the remaining spidrens. Ivy watched as he scratched a map of the area into the mud at the rear of the cave, trying to make out what he said. She caught brief phrases such as 'burn the bastards . . .' and 'cut the twats to pieces.' Ivy tried not to laugh, and often had to shove her hand in her mouth, she knew she was being immature but he was acting like a teenager who wanted to hit someone who was annoying them. At about midnight he roused her from a dream about flying trees, telling her to get ready to go. She said nothing, only nodded and stifled several large yawns. After she had pulled on several layers, he handed her a burning torch and grinned mischeviously at her.

"They don't like fire." he said. Ivy nodded and yawned once more. "Come on." He said, waving her on out of the cave. Ivy followed him down the hill and round the side of the hill. Another cave was hidden by several bushes. Ivy tried to ignore the smile on Matthews face as they set the bushes on fire with their torches. There were several high pitched shrieks from the inside of the cave, and Ivy saw a look of satisfaction on Matthews face.

"Won't be seeing them again." he said. Ivy raised an eyebrow. He began to explain, "they'll try and run from the cave, thats the only way out, they'll get burnt to death." Ivy gulped and shuddered, then nodded. "What now?" she asked.

"Well, there'll be other ones coming soon, now that they've heard the ones in there, so our best bet is to hide and wait till their backs are turned." he took her torch from her hand and threw it onto the blaze. "We don't need them now. Come on." he lead her behind a large rock and pushed her down to the floor. He dug both hands into the bag he had taken with him, and drew out several balls of web and insects. Ivy grimaced, then shot a quizzical look at him. He mouthed the word 'poison' several times before she understood what he had meant.

"Found them in the cave, thought I'd add a little extra to them." he threw them in the direction of the fire. They stopped rolling about ten metres away. "Any luck some will eat them and either die or get too ill to do anything." he whispered. He threw several more in another direction.

"Won't they think its a bit wierd that a load of balls of their favourite meals just happen to be lying outside a cave where other spidrens have just been burnt to death?" Ivy asked.

Matthew smiled. "Its not their favourite meal." he said shortly.

"Its not?" Ivy said.

"No." he grinned. "We are."

Ivys gulped, she had an idea where this was going and if it was right, she didn't like it.

"You won't get hurt." Matthew said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "We just need to draw their attention away."

Ivy stared at him.

"I promise." He said warmly. "I won't let them hurt you."

Ivy hesitated, then nodded. Matthew squeezed her shoulder, then nodded towards the oncoming spidrens. "When they've had dinner, just go and shout insults, then I'll do the rest ok?" Ivy nodded again. They watched as thirty or so spidrens headed towards the blaze.

"The fools got killed by fire. And they left their food outside for us." One said, picking one of the web balls up on the end of a pincer. Ivy shook her head at the immortal stupidity. The spidrens all began to look for the web balls, then ate them. Several minutes later, they were collapsing on the floor, either dead or weak. **(A.N./ I don't know how believable that is, but I always thought spidrens were idiots. Sorry lol.) **Matthew gave her the nod and Ivy stood up, unsure what to say. She walked round the rock and edged nearer to the fire, while the spidrens tried to understand how the others had suddenly got ill. One looked up and began to hiss.

"Human!" he said. "A human is here. I thought I smelt something."

Ivy gulped then said. "Are you sure it wasn't yourself? Your butt-crack maybe?" She thought she hearda stifled laugh, but the spidrens hadn't so she ignored it.

"Stupid mortal! All of you arethe same.You think you're so clever, but thefifty or so othersweren't were they? No, they just ran intoour caves and tried to poke us with pigstickers andbranches. They made a lovely meal."

Ivy smiled. "All of us are the same? How manyof them were women?" sheenquired. Thespidren opened his mouth, but said nothing.

"Womenhave no brains mortal girl." another spidren said. "If they do they'reonly inthe region of reproduction.They don't think."

"Really? Well I'll tell you whatI'm thinking now shall I? I'm thinking you're the most ugly thing I ever have or ever will see, and I'm thinking that if I wanted to I could just chuck this littledagger through yourchest." She drew her small knife and began twisting itthrough her fingers. It caught the light of the fire, which caught the spidrens eyes. Slowly, enough to be unnoticeable, shewrapped her handround a nearby branch, and held it back into theflames. Then shebrought it to her front, holding it in front of herlike a longsword. Thespidrens hurriedly backed away, right into Matthew, who held his sword in front of him.

"Evening all." he murmured. "Lovely night isn't it. Nice bright moon, big fire . . . makes you want to dance like an indian doesn't it?" The spidrens hissed at both of them, huddling together, their furry bodies rubbing. "I feel like having spidren for tea tonight. Don't you Squire?" Ivy resisted the urge to say no.

"Oh yes," she said, "I do like a nice meaty body, and the legs are so delicious and crunchy. And the fur, its so warm, don't you remember that lovely pair of spidren-fur boots I showed you?" She saw Matthew grin at her.

"I think we could get you a wardrobe of spidren-clothing with this lot. What do you think?"

"Oh, I agree, but we'd have to save some for you, just to show other spidrens not to invade innocent cities when they see you wearing a spidren cloak." Ivy replied, nodding her head slowly. Matthew moved closer to the huddle of furry bodies, just as Ivy did. The fire reflected in the spidrens eyes, and she saw their fear. She didn't know how she felt about it, but she walked closer. When a flash of silver signalled that Matthew had attacked, Ivy swung the branch, causing the spidrens to back ever-closer to where Matthew stood. The spidrens finally began to fight back, shooting webs at them, but Matthew sliced the ones aimed at him, and Ivy burned the ones aimed at her. When there were only two left Matthew stopped. Ivy stared at him in confusion.

"I want you to leave Meron and tell any Spidrens you know that if they invade any city or town in Tortall, the Hunter and his Squire will be after them. You understand?" he brandished his sword at them again. After several hisses of no, and several threats of burning alive, the two agreed, though Ivy didn't trust them. She watched as they scurried away, muttering curses at them.

"They won't you know." Ivy stated.

Matthew nodded. "Its a very good possibility. But they've been warned, and if they don't tell them, they'll be meeting us again."

"Couldn't you have come up with a better name than 'his Squire' for me? Its hardly scary is it?" Ivy complained. Matthew smiled.

"I'll think about it, but it was just a spur of the moment thing." He looked at the thirty or so dead bodies of the spidrens. "Time to burn these things." Ivy shuddered. Matthew looked at her then said, "Unless you were being serious and you want to eat them and make some spidren fur boots?" Ivy shook her head. "Good." Matthew said. "Lets get to work, then we can leave tomorrow." he grabbed two of the nearest spidren-bodies and slung them on his shoulders, walking over to the burning bushes and putting them on the top. Ivy shuddered, then dragged two of them over to the fire.

* * *

**Well, again, if you don't like I'll scrap. I'm kind of not feeling great about my writing recently. Is it just me or has the standard slipped:S Well, please review and tell me if you think I'm absolutely bull/ ok/ good at writing.**

**Mage of the Heart**

**P.s. the pyrotic thingy up there somewhere, will be explained in either chapter seven/eight, not sure which yet, but hopefully soon, and I think this version is getting to be VERY different from the old one. Is that good? **


	7. Soulmates?

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

Ivy and Matthew returned home the next afternoon. Almost immediately, the two of them went to their rooms, both falling asleep instantly. Ivy only woke up when there was a soft tap on the adjoining door between the two bedrooms. She grumpily opened the door, rubbing her eyes wearily and forcing them open to look at Matthew. 

"Ah, good you're awake," he grinned. Ivy grunted something and stood back to let him through. "I spoke to your Uncle Numair a few minutes ago. He said he'd be happy to explain the pyrotic thing you told me about but that you should probably be there too." He frowned. "Any ideas why?" Ivy shook her head.

"Does it have to be now?" she groaned.

Matthew smiled at her. "Yeah, he said it should be away from loads of people and at a time when nobody would be about. He wants us to meet him and the King in the throne room in twenty minutes." he reached out a hand. Ivy froze, then growled as he tugged on her matting hair. "Sort this out before you go, I don't want a reputation as the Knight with a tramp for a Squire."

Ivy stuck out her tongue. "Full of compliments aren't you!" she turned around then went to pull her shirt over her head. She shot him a dirty look. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Matthew said, leaning against the door frame. Ivy glared at him, then headed behind the changing screen, muttering curses on him.

"Don't curse me Squire, I might have to come and teach you some manners!" He grinned as he straightened up and messed with a small strand of hair that hung down from his face. "Do you think you can sort my hair out for me? I think its a bit wild today." he smiled at her muttering. When she came out, he stared at her with pleading eyes. "I'll be very nice to you!" he winked. She said something under her breath that he didn't quite catch, then walked over with a bowl of water.

"What wrong with it?" she asked sweetly.

"It won't lie flat!" he moaned. "Whatever I do, it just flies back up again!"

Ivy grinned to herself. "Alright. Crouch." he did as she said, waiting for her to start fiddling with his rebellious hair. She never did, instead a bowls contents of water fell onto his head. He gasped and shook his head. Looking up he saw Ivy standing with her hands on hips.

"What was that for?" he asked, jumping up and running a hand through his sopping wet hair.

Ivy smiled at him. "You asked me to sort it out. Its flat now you know, look in the mirror!"

Matthew clenched his jaw. "But I wanted to have dry hair."

"You never said that, I think your exact words were 'do you think you can sort my hair out for me?' and I have, so don't complain." she patted his arm with a smile, then shoved him back into his rooms. "You might want to get changed." she stated.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Ivy and Matthew were sat opposite Ivys Uncle Numair and Uncle Jonathan. After bowing to the King and nodding to Numair, they had sat down at a small table with a pitcher of apple juice and a bowl of fruit in the middle of the table. Ivy cast Jonathan a look, wondering what was so important that he needed to be there. All she had ever heard of pyros was insignificant, there had to be something more to the small amount of what she knew. 

"I need to know exactly what happened last week. Exactly what made you mad, and exactly what you did." Numair stared across the table, hands clasped together, elbows resting on the wooden table top. Matthew looked across at Ivy, then looked back again.

"Its like I told you before." he said, looking down.

"You simply errupted in flames when you looked at the Spidren?" Numair asked quizzically. Ivy frowned, casting Matthew a small glance. He didn't look at her.

"Yeah, pretty much." he said with a shrug.

"So nothing was going through your mind, there was no strange emotions when it happened? No feelings that you didn't know of until that exact moment?" Numair dragged his chair closer to the table and looked at the younger man. "I need to know. All you have told me is that you were angry at the spidrens. What had they done? How was your anger fuelled so much you burst into flames?"

"They'd . . . hurt the people in Meron." Matthew croaked, he reached out and grabbed his glass, downing its contents, then coughing slightly.

Numair lifted an eyebrow. "You're sure thats it?" Ivy tried not to notice the fact that Numair looked at her strangely at that point. She gulped, but said nothing. If Matthew didn't want to say about her, then she wouldn't say anything.

"I think so." Matthew said quietly.

"What about you Ivy? What were you doing?" The King, Ivys adoptive Uncle, looked across at her, stroking his short beard.

Ivy looked down. "Nothing Sire." she muttered. She ignored the look Matthew gave her, one of thanks and appreciation.

"Look at me Ivy." Jonathan ordered. Ivy gulped then looked up, meeting his calm blue eyes. "What were you doing?"

Ivy gulped and knew she couldn't lie to him, he could read her like a book, and if she lied, he would be able to tell, she could thank her Uncle George for that. Matthew looked at her and nodded his head reluctantly.

"I was unconscious." she said. "I . . . don't know exactly what happened." Jonathan held her gaze for several seconds, then he and Numair turned their eyes on Matthew. He rolled his eyes.

"Alright!" he said, exasperated. "They pissed me off a bit ok?"Jonathan raised an eyebrow. Numair hid a grin. Ivy just looked at her hands.

"How so?" The King asked. Matthew bit his lip.

"Its a good thing to know what made you so angry, and it could help prepare you for several things." Numair said slowly. Matthew stared at him.

"What do you mean? What kind of things?"

Numair sighed. "Tell us what happened, then we will be able to tell you something."

Matthew nodded. "Alright." he said. "I'll tell you." he risked a small smile at Ivy then began. "The spidren said he'd kill Ivy. Then he said he'd get her to breed with his . . . filth." Ivy, Jonathan and Numair all saw sweat gather on his brow, his fists clenched and Ivy saw the unmistakeable glow of fire. . . red fire.

Numair stood and held out his hands, muttering something. Black fire sparkled and flew to cover Matthew. There was a flicker of light, then nothing. The black fire disappeared, and Ivy saw her Knight-master sweating, steam rising from his skin. She was silent, confusion in her thoughts. Matthew hadn't told her how close she had come to being raped by a spidren. Ivy didn't understand why. What was done was done, and he'd helped her. So why was there anything to keep from her? Of course, he didn't want to scare her, he didn't want her to be worried and feel vulnerable, but she was a girl, every girl was aware that there was a possibility of rape in their life. _You'd have gone nuts though, if he'd told you,_she thought. She grabbed Matthews glass and held it to his lips, pouring the juice down his throat. He smiled weakly at her.

"Sorry." he muttered. "Looks like I'm hot on you again." Ivy grinned.

"Very. Now drink this." she poured him another glass and held it to his mouth. After several glasses, Matthew was able to talk normally again and the only hint that anything had happened was the thin sheen of sweat all over his face.

"So whats it mean then?" Matthew said, holding another glass in his hands.

Ivy looked at her Uncles, waiting for them to explain.

Numair sighed. "You're a Pyro." he stated.

Matthew rolled his eyes, "and I don't know what that means."

Numair shook his head. "A Pyro hasn't been found in over a thousand years, they're very rare and very dangerous."

Matthew frowned. "Can't we say you instead of they, I don't want to forget about it." he said wryly.

Numair shrugged. "Fine. Nobodys ever found the extent of a Pyro's power, all of the previous ones have burned up, most of them when they tried to cause a great explosion. Pyros can only use their powers when they're angry. All Pyros discover their powers around someone important to them. More than that. Someone who is their other half. Their soulmate."

Ivy choked on her mouthful of apple juice, Matthews glass suddenly cracked and fell apart in his hand.

"What?" they said, simultaneously.

Numair suppressed a grin at their reactions. "You're soulmates."

* * *

**I'm thinkin this may be a bit stupid, but again i can delete, i need to know what you all think though, dont be scared of being mean, i like harsh criticism :P **

**Mage of the Heart**


	8. Explanation

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**

* * *

**

"You're soulmates." Numair repeated. Ivy and Matthew stared at him, then Matthew shook his head.

"No!" he said, "there's got to be a mistake. We can't be soulmates!"

Numair raised an eyebrow. "Why not?" he asked quizzically.

"Because. . . because. . . because I don't do relationships. Its one night, sometimes two or three if I like them, I haven't ever been in a serious relationship, I don't believe in love and I really don't believe in soulmates!" Matthew stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. Numair glanced at the King and nodded in the direction of Matthew. Jonathan nodded, then stood and went to talk to him.

When Jonathan had reached Matthew, Ivy looked at her Uncle. "Soulmate doesn't mean love does it? Its just someone whos like you right? Someone doesn't need to be your lover to be your soulmate . . .right?"

Numair sighed. "I hate to say it Ivy, but soulmate generally means lover. I don't know if the King will allow you to be Matthews Squire anymore. It could cause a stir in the castle if word slipped out, and both of your reputations would be ruined."

"What?" Ivy gasped. "But I'll never get another Knight Master, especially notone like him!" She stopped, realising what she had just said and regretting it. It wouldn't do to sound as though she was protecting Matthew.

"Perhaps Jonathan will let you stay with Matthew, there is definitely a risk if he gets out of control . . ."

"What?" Ivy interrupted. "What kind of risk?"

"Well, until he learns how to control his powers, he won't be able to be away from you for long periods of time." Numair explained.

"Why not? What will happen if he is?" Ivy asked.

"Well, he could go Pyrotic and destroy every living thing in his way before he reaches you. Then he'll have to work out how to stop using his powers, and he'll be relying on you to look after him." He looked at her carefully. "Ivy do you remember when I told you about the dependancy all Pyros feel?"

Ivy shook her head.

"Well I did. Until Pyros are in control, they need someone to look after them. I didn't tell you about the Soulmate relationship, because it didn't seem important at the time. I never thought you'd need to know this, and I wish you didn't. . ." he took a deep breath. "Matthew is going to be very protective over you from now on, he won't like you to leave him for more than a few hours, and he won't want you in any fights. There's a chance you won't be able to do much from now on. But he'll want something from you, until he controls his powers. . ." He paused then sighed. "Ivy, he'll want to take your virginity. He'll want you to be his and you won't be able to convince him otherwise. At the moment he'll live in denial, saying you're not his soulmate. You have to try and get him to be in control. It doesn't matter what he thinks, he'll still listen to you. Can you do that?"

Ivy stared. "Whats being a Pyro got to do with soulmates?"

Numair sighed. "Mithros knows Ivy."

"And why's he going to be so clingy, I thought it was meant to be nice, not a bloody fight to get them off." Ivy looked at her hands.

"If he controls himself, you won't have the clinginess, you'll be normal lovers, you'll have arguments, you'll make up." Numair looked at her carefully. "I hate that you landed with this Ivy, if it could have been anyone else, I wish it was, but you're going to have to see it through. If you want, I could spell him so that he forgets about you, then we could get you away from each other and he won't remember you."

Ivy looked over at Matthew. "What would happen to him though?"

Numair looked down. "Who knows, he could be fine, he could curl up in a ball somewhere and die. I'd hope it would be the first option, but I can't promise anything." He looked at her again. "Ivy, the question is do you want to be responsible for him?"

Ivy ignored the question. "Will I feel the same about him? Will I always be obsessed with him?"

Numair raised an eyebrow. "You sound as though you already are." He sighed. "I don't know, the other five or so there have been have all been securely locked in a relationship with them. Except for one. Baron Marek of Meron, about five hundred years ago I think, was absolutely besotted, the woman who was said to be his soulmate didn't feel the same, she slept with hundreds of men behind his back and it was said she only married him to get in his will. She murdered him in his sleep two weeks after their wedding."

Ivy shook her head. "Thats sick." she looked over again. "I'll try, but I don't want to do anything with him. Especially not right now."

Numair nodded. "In that case, you should go to bed. Its alot to take in." Ivy nodded and got up to hug her Uncle, settling against his chest.

"Thanks Uncle Numy." she muttered.

* * *

Jonathan joined Matthew and rested a hand on his shoulder. He resisted pulling back when he felt the burning heat under his hands. "Sir Matthew." he said quietly. The Knight looked at him and managed a smile. 

"I don't know what you two are on, but there is no way that Ivy and I are soulmates. I couldn't have a serious relationship even if I wanted to." Jonathan shook his head.

"Have you ever wanted to?" he asked quietly.

Matthew paused then shook his head. "No. But I don't want to start my first serious relationship with my Squire. It wouldn't be right."

"If you wanted to, I could make it so she wasn't your Squire anymore." Matthew stared at the King for a second.

"I couldn't let you do that. It wouldn't be right. I'd feel responsible. She'd hate me, then what would be the point anyway, even if I wanted to see her, I couldn't because she wouldn't want me to." He rested his head on the stone wall.

"Would you want her?" Jon asked carefully. "Do you want her?"

Matthew hesitated. "There's been times I thought I did. There's been times I've flirted with her a bit. It never meant anything though. It never could."

"What would you have done if she took you up on your advances though? What then?" Jon took his hand away from Matthews shoulder.

"I won't lie to you . . . I'd probably have done something I'd regret in the morning. I might have kissed her, I might have gone further. But I'd be an idiot to. Lord Raoul would have my guts for garters. I'd be as good as dead then." He sighed. "Isn't there a way to get rid of it? This pyro thing, can't you and Numair burn it out of me?" a glimmer of hope shone in his eyes, and Jonathan wanted to say that there was, but he knew it would be lying.

"There's no way Matthew. If there was, we'd do it, I swear." he sighed. "You need to get your powers under control. We can't have you exploding into fire at every turn." Matthew nodded.There were several minutes silence, before Matthew spoke.

"What would happen if I didn't get them under control? What then?"

Jonathan sighed. "You'd kill everyone between you and Ivy. Numair said he'll put fireproof spells on the walls of your rooms. Until you're in control of your powers though, there'll be no Spidren killing. We need to make sure you're safe to let out." He rested a hand on the Knights arm. "I know you feel like we're being over protective, but what good will you be to us if you kill the people in the villages that you're supposed to be saving."

Matthew nodded. "I know your Majesty." he paused. "Whats going to happen to me then? Whats going to go on in my head?"

Jonathan shrugged. "I wouldn't like to say, you'll hate being apart from her until you can learn how to control your powers. You'll want more from her than she will be willing to give, and you will probably be angry with her from time to time.You'll hate it if any other man touches her, and you won't want her to fight."

"I don't think for a second she'll care if I do or don't want her to fight, she'll do it anyway." Matthew added.

Jonathan grinned. "Its a definite possibility. She has been brought up around many feisty women fighters."

"How do I control it though?" Matthew asked.

"I'd suggest meditation, and reliving the moment that you discovered you were a Pyro. When you're transformed, you'll have to learn to hold onto the person you were before, the person inside you whos not a Pyro." Jonathan smiled at him. "And Numair and I will be happy to help in any way we can."

Matthew smiled back. "Thank you. I just hope I won't need anything from you two. . ." he froze as he looked across the room to see Ivy hugging Numair. He felt himself heating up, sweat poured from his forehead. Fire gathered around his body, wrapping him in a blanket of heat and light. There was a dim male voice in the distance, but Matthew didn't hear it, all he heard was his own mind, screaming at him to kill the man who held his soulmate. As more and more fire grew around him, he heard a female voice. It was familiar. He knew that voice. Who was it?

"Matthew," who was it? He couldn't think. "Matthew stop!" then he remembered. The fire fell away, and he collapsed to the floor.

"Ivy." he said. "Where are you?" his vision went dark, but he could still hear and smell his surroundings.

"I'm here." she was close. Where was she?Hecouldn'tsee her.Matthews fingers twitched, then he felt a hand in his. He recognised it. He'd felt it before, in the spidren cave.

"Ivy . . ." he muttered. Suddenly he was Matthew again. His vision came flooding back, and he could see her leaning over him, concern on her face. She looked beautiful, he had never seen her so breathtaking. He blinked and realised that two black haired men stood behind her, both keeping their distance. He sat up, feeling Ivys hands under his arm and feeling suddenly helpless. "Sorry." he muttered to nobody in particular. Then he passed out.

* * *

Ivy watched as her two Uncles carried her unconscious Knight Master to his rooms. She tried not to think about all that she had heard that night, and tried to forget the look of Matthew burning from his core. Part of her thought that if she went to sleep she would wake up and it would all have been a terrible dream, but having laid her hand on his head and felt his burning skin, she knew that wasn't going to happen.

"He might not let anyone else near him for several days." Numair explained to her when Jonathan had left. "You'll probably need to take control of looking after him. We'll have food sent to the room for the two of you, and Jon said he'll think of something to tell Raoul. We both know Raoul won't be too happy finding out you and Matthew are meant to be soulmates." Ivy nodded.

"What will he do when he sees you?" she asked. "Won't he go mad again?"

Numair shook his head. "No, he'll remember it, but he won't hurt me unless we hug again before hes in control." Ivy smiled and went to hug her Uncle, only he held her back.

"Best not." he explained. "Right now he's probably completely focused on you, if he woke up now and saw us, I don't think either you, me or him would be safe." he smiled at her. "Goodnight Ivy." he said, then left.

Ivy waited until he had gone, then slipped into Matthews room again. She sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "Right mess we're in now Matthew." she whispered. Hesitantly she kissed his forehead and lay down next to him.

* * *

**If its crap I will scrap. If its good . . . I'll think of something to put there later lol.**

**Please review.**

**Hope the length is better**

**Mage of the Heart**


	9. Control Class

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

Matthew woke up with sweat covering his body. He groaned with discomfort as his shirt clung to his chest. Turning onto his side, Matthew gasped, seeing Ivy asleep beside him. Her hair was slightly messed, fanning out behind her head onto the pillow. Matthew smiled and reached out to stroke her face, desire sweeping through him. Her skin on the back of his hand felt soft and smooth. He didn't want to take his hand away. He tilted his head slightly, looking at her straight on. Slowly, the part of him that was so out of control and so consumed by her mesmorising beauty took over. He leant down and planted his lips on hers. Fire roared in his chest, excitement swept through him, suddenly all he wanted was her. Nothing else could satisfy him, he needed her. He didn't feel her stir, and gently tried to ease her mouth open. It was then that Ivy woke up. At first Matthew thought that the hands on his chest were placed with love. He groaned slightly, attempting to open her mouth again. He was shoved away, caught by surprise he fell off the bed. Ivy jumped off the bed, gasping for breath. 

"What the hell are you doing?" she managed.

Matthew jumped up and leapt over the bed, landing directly in front of her. His hands found her waistand pulled her to him. "Pyro wants to play." he grinned and leant down to kiss her neck. All of a sudden, her hand was wrapped around his wrist and his arm was locked behind his back, and he was being pressed stomach-down onto the bed.

"Pyro better stop, or Pyro will get hurt." Ivy said, applying more pressure. "And if Pyro trys anything, Pyro will learn what it feels like to have four limbs broken at once."

Matthew groaned in pain. When Ivy let go, he turned onto his back and smiled at her.

"But Pyro needs the exercise!" he said quietly. "And only you can help him get fit!" Matthew reached out for her hand, but she jerked it away from him.

"Behave yourself!" Ivy hesitated, then said. "Or I'll have to leave you on your own for ever!" A look of fear and sadness crossed Matthews face.

"You wouldn't would you?" he asked, his face that of the child he once had been, not the man he now was.

"Oh yes I would. So unless you learn to keep your hands to yourself and to control your stupid outbursts, I'm going to go!"

Matthew shook his head and crawled over to her, placing his hands on her waist. "Don't go. Don't do that. You wouldn't like it." He buried his face in her shirt, inhaling her scent. Ivy paused then pushed him gently away.

"Change your clothes." she ordered. "Then I want you to start controlling your Pyrotic frequencies."

Matthews eyes lit up. "I can be hot?" he said, excitement burning in his eyes. "I can burn again? I'm allowed?" Ivy nodded.

"Only if you promise to try and control it though. And only if you let me leave for half an hour."

Matthew hesitated. "Leave? But . . . you said if I behaved then you'd stay. . ."

Ivy nodded again. "I won't be gone long, I just need to go and see someone first."

Matthew stood up. "Is it a man?" he said, eyes narrowing in something between fear and anger.

Ivy immediately shook her head. "No. . .of course not. . . I need to go and see my mother about something. Something important. Will you behave?"

Matthew nodded. Ivy felt a sudden surge of guilt about taking advantage of his vulnerability, but smiled at him. "Then I'll be back in half an hour ok?"

Matthew nodded sulkily, then his eyes lit up. "Do I get a kiss goodbye?" he asked, jumping up and attempting to flatten his hair. Ivy hesitated, then sighed and nodded.

"Ok." she said, "but quickly, I'll be late." Matthew grinned and ran over to pull her to his chest. Ivy grimaced at the wetness of his shirt.

"Matthew, no, shirt off." she ordered. He nodded and tore his top off, pulling her back instantly.

"Now?" he asked. Ivy gulped, then nodded. She lifted her head slightly, and felt his lips meet with hers almost instantly. She noticed with interest that while he spoke and acted like a child, he kissed much like an experienced young man who knew how to please a woman. As he moved his lips over hers, she remembered that she had to go and reluctantly -though she wouldn't have admitted that it was reluctant- pulled away.

"Have to go now." she said, gently shoving him away. "Behave." Matthew nodded and somersaulted backwards to land on the bed. Ivy resisted the urge to laugh at him lying there half naked, and left.

* * *

Ivy went straight to Numairs rooms and knocked sharply on the door. The door was answered a few moments later by a drowsy looking Numair. His eyes filled with alarm at seeing her. 

"Ivy, whats wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing, I just need to talk to you about Matthew. Is Daine here?" Numair shook his head.

"She left last night, she needed to do some work for the King." Ivy nodded and entered her Uncles room.

"Whats wrong then?" Numair said.

"I woke up and he was trying to kiss me." she explained. "And I only got out of there because I kissed him. I told him I was going to go and see mum, he didn't look happy about the thought of me seeing another man."

Numair nodded. "I did warn you." he said.

"Yeah, I know, but I don't know what to do. I got him to agree to going Pyro later, but I don't know how I can help him control it."

Numair hesitated. "I think I know how . . ." he said carefully. "But it might be painful."

Ivy frowned. "How?"

"If you could hold his hands while he did it, it would burn you. If I'm right, the thought of you in pain will force him to control his power, or he'll lose his soulmate." Numair sighed. "But I don't know. I wouldn't like you to get hurt because of that."

Ivy was quiet for a second. "You think I'll be able to get him to control it by that?"

Numair nodded slowly. "But like I said, I don't know. If it means losing my niece I'd rather not risk it."

Ivy thought for a second, then spoke. "Couldn't you put a spell on me? So that I feel how hot it is but it doesn't hurt?" Numair stared at her for a second, then nodded.

"I could. But I don't know if he'd be able to sense magic acting on you. Its worth a try." he raised his hands and black fire flew from his fingertips, wrapping around her and sinking into her flesh. "There." Numair said. "With any luck, that will have worked." he looked out of the window. "You should go. He'll be missing you." Ivy sighed.

"Alright." she said. "Thanks." she gave him a small smile before leaving.

"Gods all bless Ivy." Numair muttered as the door closed.

* * *

Matthew was pacing the room when Ivy returned. A smile spread over his face when he saw her and he ran to hug her. Ivy rolled her eyes and let him hold her for a few seconds before gently pulling free. 

"Remember you promised me something?" she asked gently. He nodded. Ivy smiled and took his hands in hers.

"Good, now remember what happened that first time." she told him.

Matthew closed his eyes, trying to remember what had taken place, but all he could think of was her, and the smell that wafted from her body to his nostrils was so pleasant. . .

"Matthew." Ivy said.

"Yes." he replied quietly.

"Can you remember?"

"No."

Ivy sighed. "Matthew, the spidren, he said he'd kill me, remember? He said he'd breed with me. Remember?"

Matthew stiffened, remembering instantly the spidrens disgusting legs, the way it had lifted and lowered its pincers. . . fire errupted around his body, anger flooded through his veins and forced more and more heat to leave him. Only when there was a shout of pain, did he remember that Ivy held his hands.

"Matthew!" she yelled. "Help me! Stop it!"

Matthew panicked, he tried to focus on a picture of her sleeping face, but each time it was replaced by her screaming. The noise continued and his mind roared. Immediately he focused on stopping the fire, trying to put it out. It didn't work, she continued to scream. Finally, after what seemed like hours of torture listening to his love screaming, he put it out. He saw her sweating, but not in pain, then smiled and fell forward to land in her arms.

Ivy sighed and gently moved him to lie on the bed. Her hands burnt, but it wasn't painful. Numairs spell had worked. _That was sick, _she thought, _pretending to be in pain like that. _She paused, then thought, _it worked though, hes starting to control himself now. Maybe in a few weeks, he'll be himself again, gods know that'll be a relief. _

* * *

It took Matthew two days to wake up again, and a further three before he was able to move and do anything. He was surprisingly normal now, back to his old self as long as he was not in Pyro form. Ivy knew that as soon as he started trying to control himself again he would turn back to the dependant person who was obsessed with her. Right now, he remembered very little about the previous week, which, as far as Ivy was concerned, was a good thing. She didn't want to have to tell him that he only let her leave the room because she had agreed to kiss him, and she definitely didn't want to tell him that she had enjoyed the kiss, or that he had held her when he was half naked. A few days after he began to get up again, Matthew locked himself in his room. Ivy didn't know what he was doing, so shewent to her Uncle Jonathan and asked him to scry his room to see what he was up to. Jonathan looked carefully into the mirror for several seconds, then smiled at her. 

"He's fine. He's meditating, I'd guess he'll try and transform into a Pyro again when he is done, you should go so you're there."

Ivy frowned. "But hes locked in his room. How do I get to him?"

Jonathan thought for a second, then took her hand in his, a ball of blue fire errupted from his palm and merged with her skin. "Hold your palm to the door and it will melt the lock and allow you in. I'll sort something out so that we don't have to keep melting locks though, if he carries on doing this, there'll bea big problem."

Ivy nodded, then bowed and left him, going back to her room. She sat on the bed, waiting to see if she heard anything. It seemed like hours before there was even a noise from the next room, then there was a shout of anger, then one of pain, then there was a noise as if her knight master was talking to himself. When the room went silent, Ivy jumped up and held her palm to the lock. There was a hiss and a smell of melted metal, then the door swung open. She ran in and saw Matthew on the floor, steam rising from his body. She grabbed the jug of water on his table, and gently poured it on his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and he grasped the hand which she had carelessly placed on his chest.

"Ivy. Its you." he half laughed. "Did I do it?"

Ivy frowned. "Do what?"

"Beat it? Am I me? I can't think. . ." there was a second where he stared at her like the man she knew, then his eyes lit up again, just as they had before. "Can I have a kiss?" he asked sweetly. Ivy gulped, she didn't like just giving kisses out. He stared at her again, sweat dripping down his face. Ivy sighed and nodded. She helped him up and sat him on the bed. Matthew smiled and put his hands on her waist, pulling her down to sit on his knee. Ivy stiffened, then relaxed as Matthews hand ran through her hair and she was pulled to him, mouth meeting his swiftly. She felt Matthew sigh, and was about to pull gently back when he flipped her onto her back and lay on top of her, all the time keeping his mouth on hers. He briefly took it away to kiss her neck, hand stroking her leg gently. _No, thats just too much Mr,_ Ivy thought. She shoved him off her and jumped up off the bed, giving him no chance to grab her again.

"Behave!" she ordered. "If I kiss you, it doesn't mean you can try and get me into bed!" Matthew stared at her in disbelief.

"But . . . "

"No buts!" Ivy snapped. "Remember I told you I'd leave if you tried anything? Well I meant it!"

Matthew shook his head. "Don't!" he begged."Please don't!"

"Behave then!" she ordered. "Now stay here, I'll be back soon."

* * *

Jonathan and Numair were in the palace library, luckily for Ivy nobody else was. She ran over to her two uncles and dumped herself in a chair at their table. 

"Hes like a little kid!" she complained instantly, not waiting to be acknowledged. Numair looked at Jonathan for a few seconds then looked at Ivy.

"Of course he is." he smiled at her. "Now, how did he do when he changed?"

Ivy stared at him openmouthed. She ignored his question. "Hes meant to be like a kid?" she asked.

Numair nodded. "I told you, until hes in control he'll be dependant on you."

"But I feel like his bloody mother!" she whined. "I'm too young to be a mum." she put her head in her hands and sworeunder her breath.

"So how did he do?" Jon asked.

Ivy sighed. "He was alright at first, he asked me if he'd beaten it, then he went all stupid again."

"How do you mean stupid?" Jon enquired.

"He wanted a kiss. Then he flipped me over and tried to . . . " she trailed off.

"Tried to what?" Numair asked slowly.

"Feel me." Ivy muttered.

"What do you mean?" Jon said kindly.

She stared at her Uncles. "You know how men feel women, he did that. I shoved him off and told him to behave, but its bloody stupid, seriously, I can't keep kissing him, but if I don't he gets all stressy and he doesn't let me leave."

Numair looked down. "My offer still stands Ivy."

She looked at him. "Which offer?"

"I can make him forget about you and we can move him away from you so you don't see each other." Ivy could tell he didn't want to do that, and was touched that he would do it for her.

"I couldn't . . . I wouldn't know if he was going to live or not. And what kind of person would I be to get rid of him when he needs me? I just wish there was an easier way to make him control it." She looked at the polished table and sighed. Two hands rested on her shoulders. One was Numairs, one was Jons. She smiled at them.

"You're father would be proud if he knew Ivy." Jon stated. Ivy nodded numbly,then a thought struck her.

"What have you told him and mum?" she asked.

Numair grinned. "Jon's told them Matthews having trouble with his Gift and needs constant looking after. As far as your parents know, Matthews suffered a leaching spell and he is having more trouble than is usual regaining his magic." Mischief danced in his eyes."And I'm fuelling the fire a bit, telling them that one of the spidrens knew a local mage who owed him a favour." He patted her shoulder briefly,then took his hand away. "Now go, Matthews still going to act the same way, but keep on trying to get him tocontrol it. Try that thing you tried last week again." he held up his hands and wrapped her in magic once again. "Just make sure he doesn't go totally nuts, theres only so much fire protection I can provide." Numair left, and Jon smiled at his niece.

"You're coping with this better than I could have hoped Ivy, Thayet and I are both agreed that when he's in control, you will have full credit for it, and there may even be an award for service to the Crown." Jon said.

"But I'm not serving the crown. I'm serving Matthew." Ivy said in confusion.

"You're serving Matthew, who is a Knight. As a Knight he serves the Crown, and so -indirectly speaking- you are serving the crown, and you are doing a fantastic job." He briefly hugged her shoulders. "Now run along, he's going to be missing you."

Ivy smiled at him, bowed, then ran to her rooms.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Ivy worked with Matthew, trying in anyway she could to help him control it. It meant more kisses, more threats of leaving, more attempts on her virginity, but she was getting somewhere. After two weeks of hard work, Matthew was able to stop his fire when he wanted to, and able to conjure it without passing out almost instantly afterwards. He was still learning how much to use at once, but Ivy could tell that they were getting somewhere, which, to her, could only mean good things. His clinginess was slowly fading out, there were times, mostly when he used far too much fire at once, that he refused to leave her alone without a kiss. Ivy was slowly coming to realise that soon he would try to kiss her with his tongue, something she had no idea how to do, and didn't want to do as a bribe to let her leave.

Three weeks into 'control class' as Ivy liked to call it, Matthew transformed fully into a Pyro, while still being able to control himself. He even managed to talk to Ivy, then he let the fire fallawayand fell down onto the bed with dizziness. Ivy went over and pulled him back onto his pillows, wiping a wet cloth over his forehead and then resting it there. Steam rose up from his head, into Ivys face. With it came the smell of sweat. After letting Matthew fall asleep in her arms, she left him to go and bathe. She was shocked when she brought her head out of the water to find Matthew leaning over the side of her tub, hand just about to reach out to touch her. She brought her legs up to her chin immediately and scowled at him. He smiled, and tilted his head, leaning in closer to her. Ivy instantly splashed him in the face, grabbed a towel and leapt out, locking herself in his room, leaving him to sleep in hers. She was just pulling a shirt over her head when there was a sudden sound of crackling fire. Spinning round, she saw the door burning and Matthew standing with a grin on his face. She also realised that it wasn't the boyish smile he had been wearing on his face for weeks now. It was the same grin he had given her the night they had found out they were soulmates, when he had tried to watch her change.

"That shirt is really too big for you Ivy," he stated. He held his hand up and the fire from the door flew back into it, leaving merely a pile of ash. He crossed his arms and leant against the door frame. "Maybe one of your own would be more useful." A blue shirt flew from somewhere in her room, right to her. Ivy stared at him for several seconds. "Its rude to stare Squire." he said playfully. Ivy opened her mouth to speak but her throat was dry.

"We did it Ivy." he said, walking over to her and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I can control it now. And I owe it all to you."

Ivy frowned, but she was still unable to talk. Matthew smiled at her. "Can I say thank you? Or will you push me away?" he placed his hand under her chin and waited. Ivy nodded nervously. Slowly, Matthew leant in, his warm mouth met hers and his arms wrapped around her waist. Ivy instinctively wrapped one arm around his back and another round his neck. Ivy noticed something wet probing at her lips and opened her mouth slightly. Immediately, Matthews warm tongue entered her mouth. She stiffened, unsure what to do. Matthew pressed a hand into the small of her back, calming her, reassuring her that it was ok. Gently, Ivy moved her tongue to meet his. Several seconds later, Matthew pulled back and smiled at her. "Thanks." he said, then kissed her gently on the cheek, leaving her in the room alone, still slightly out of breath.

"It's fine." she muttered as the door closed. "No problem at all . . . "

* * *

**Hmm its a long chapter but I dont know how good it is. Please review, compliment/complain, whichever floats your boat**

**Mage of the Heart**


	10. Me and You?

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

Thanks to all my reviewers. I'd just like to say to you lot that **don't** review that I know who you are, because I'm nice I won't mention names, but I've seen the people who have put me on their alerts list **without **reviewing, and if you have any complaints or ideas, I can't change or adapt the story to suit you, that doesn't mean I want you to stop reading, but I like to know what people think, but hey, I'm not gunna come knocking on your door with a battering ram and force you to review, but if you'd like me to know what you think, then there'sa little clickety thing that you press, and it lets you sign my beautifully crap story :) anyway, sorry if you read this and do review, I love you guys lol, so anyway, here comes the next chapter. . .

* * *

**"Its not a mistake unless you learn something from it."**

* * *

Ivy was both relieved and slightly annoyed when Matthew returned later that night with a noble woman in tow. It confused her slightly, how he could be so obsessed with her for a while, then go off with someone else the next minute, she wouldn't admit either, that it was because she was becoming slightly attached to the man that she minded so much, she merely told herself that they had a friendly relationship and she cared about what happened to him. Even when a tear rolled down her cheek when she heard the two making noises in the next room that nobody else was supposed to hear, she told herself that she merely wanted what was best for him, and that she didn't think it was swanning around with strange maidens he found in the city.

* * *

Matthew woke up slightly tired, but proud of something, though he was not quite sure what. It was definitely not the fact that he had managed to make a young woman swoon over him without even trying the night before, in fact it might have been fair to say he hated himself for it, but there was something else, at the back of his mind, telling him something about someone. . . but he didn't know what. He didn't know who, he didn't know why and he didn't know what it all meant. There was definitelya part of him that felt bad for Ivy, he hadn't thought about not keeping her awake, and he had not made any attempts to quieten the woman who now lay beside him. He also hadn't thought about the way she would react to their kiss, it was meant to have been a thank you for helping him, but he'd found himself wanting more than that, wanting to hold her close, something that he had never felt about a woman before in his life. Silently, he slipped out of the bed, dressing indark breeches and a white shirt. He then slipped out of the room, breathing a sigh of relief when he was outside, away from the distinct smell of womans perfume that he was beginning to detest. He was pleasantly surprised to see Ivy disappearing round the corner of the corridor, and he ran to catch up, feeling suddenly light and airy. Ivy turned to look at him when she heard his footsteps, then rolled her eyes and quickened her pace.

"Ivy?" Matthew said in confusion, "whats up?" He instantly hated himself for it and cursed under his breath for sounding so heartless.

"Oh I don't know, maybe its not too great to be kept up all night by some slag and your knight master screwing in the next room, and maybe its not a good idea to try and help your knight master when he needs you, because if he gives you a thank-you kiss with a bit of tongue, you might get it confused and think it means something, when actually, he was just testing to see if he'd gone rusty or not!" Ivy didn't realise what she was saying until it had all come out, and then she realised that she had said it very loud.

"Ivy, it wasn't like that! And do you mind not yelling about my private life, its hard enough already!" Matthew hissed.

Ivy gawped at him. "Its hard? What exactly is hard about your private life, you run down to the city whenever you fancy a bit of action, well I suppose that involves the movement of legs, and thats really difficult isn't it? Or maybe you mean the morning after, telling them you don't want a relationship and you just like a bit of fun. Well, why don't you just not get so bloody out of control with your hormones, then you wouldn't need to tell them would you?"

Matthew rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm, steering her into a shadowy corner where nobody could see them. "I'm sorry." he said. "Alright?"

Ivy folded her arms across her chest and lifted an eyebrow.

He sighed and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry for keeping you awake, I'm sorry for making you feel that way alright?" He took in a deep breath. "But theres one thing I can't apologise for ok."

Ivy stared at him. "Whats that?"

Matthew looked at her for a second, then went on. "I can't apologise for that kiss."

Ivy went to speak, but he covered her mouth with a hand. "I can't apologise because I wanted it to happen." He took his hand away and leant closer to her again. Ivy froze, and closed her eyes. When his mouth was only a millimetre away from hers, she shook her head, coming back to her senses.

"It was a mistake. I won't make it twice." she said firmly, pushing him away. He stood strong, arms on either side of her on the wall.

"Learn anything from it?" he whispered. Ivy tried to ignore the seductive tone of his voice.

"I learnt . . ." she started. Matthew raised an eyebrow, as if telling her to go on. She said nothing.

"Well then." he murmured, "if you didn't learn anything, it can't have been a mistake." he gently raised the back of his hand to rub her cheek. "I promise, if you let this happen, you won't regret it. I won't let you regret it." He leaned in closer, still talking. "And I won't regret it either." Ivy stayed quiet, feeling his warm breath on her face. "We're soulmates . . . remember?" he went on.There was a second she thought about pushing him again, but then their mouths met. There was a hint of spice on his breath, mixed with honey, Ivy sighed into his mouth, letting him pull her to his chest in a warm embrace. Matthew pulled away briefly. "I told you . . ." he murmured, rubbing her nose with his. Ivy said nothing and let him claim her lips again, enjoying being held in his strong, muscled arms. There was a noise from somewhere nearby and Matthew jumped away. Ivy looked at him for a second with a frown, he looked at her with regret in his eyes, then mouthed 'later'. Ivy sighed and nodded, somewhat disappointed. Matthew looked at her for a few seconds, then turned and walked away.

"We're not soulmates. There's no way we can be soulmates!" Ivy mimicked under her breath. Smiling slightly, Ivy headed back to her room.

* * *

Matthew was relieved to find his room empty when he returned. He threw himself on the bed and swore. What had he gotten himself into? He'd just admitted that he and Ivy were soulmates. He'd gone and done what he'd told Lord Raoul he wouldn't. And he'd almost come to the point of admitting something else, something beyond obsession, something completely alien to him . . . 

There was a knock on the adjoining door. Matthew looked up to see Ivy peer around the new wooden door that Ivy had obviously got someone to put in the night before. He smiled at her, then swunghis legs off the bed and patted the space next to him. Ivy hesitated, then joined him, sitting closer than she would have donea month before. He had to resist urges to pull her to him and kiss her. He opened his mouth, but Ivy beat him.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

Matthew smiled weakly at her. "I don't have a clue." he muttered.

Ivy sighed. "Dad'll kill us if he finds out." Matthew nodded grimly. "Uncle Numair will be happy." she said. Matthew frowned. Ivy grinned at him. "He told me that he thought we would be good together the first time he saw us, even when he didn't know we were supposed to be soulmates." Matthew smiled at her.

"Well, maybe he's just got a good eye for these things." he looked at her carefully. "Are you sure you want this? Me and you?"

Ivy hesitated. "I don't know. . . I mean, I want you, but if we mess it up then we'll ruin everything." Matthew nodded, and took her hand in his. She looked up into his eyes and was shocked, but pleased, to see them filled with a calm understanding that made her feel safe.

"Think about it." he pleaded. "I won't force you into anything, but . . . this can't be a mistake, we both know that don't we?" Ivy nodded.

"Ok," she whispered. She leant in to him, brushing her lips against his. "Thank you." she murmured. Matthew smiled, then let go of her hand letting her leave the room. As soon as she had left he touched his lips, feeling a sudden burning sensation.

"Since when were you Mr Sensitive?" he asked himself. He sighed and lay down. "Admit it." he said. "You're nuts about her."

* * *

**So there we are another strange, probably rubbish chapter, i dont think this was as good as some actually . . . **

**Again, if its crap I will scrap, if its good . .. . someone think of something to put here!**

**Mage of the Heart**


	11. Interrupted

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Apologise in advance: Buri and Raoul may be out of character, but oh well. **

* * *

Ivy lay on her bed, listening to the twittering of two sparrows outside the window. She smiled briefly, then her mind trailed off, thinking about what had happened between her and Matthew. She was still nervous about him, the fact that he was such promiscuous human being scared her more than any other thing she had ever encountered. Ivy knew that he wouldn't be able to go without sex for long periods of time, he was much too used to regular activity in the bedroom. She also knew though, that he had meant what he had said, and that he would not force her. And perhaps that scared her even more. Perhaps, if she admitted it to herself, it wasn't the being forced that scared her, it was the not being forced and finding that he was sleeping around again. Ivy sighed and got off the bed, deciding to go fora ride and clear her head. She saddled Thunder quickly, then rode into the royal forest, sighing with content at the peace and tranquility that gripped it. She rode for half an hour, before dismounting to take a dip into a small, clear blue river. She didn't hear the hooves of another horse approaching, and lazily ran her hands through her wet hair. Only when an arm wrapped around her bare waist did she realise that she was not alone, and that she wore only a breastband and loincloth. She struggled, but strong arms held her and she felt warm breath on her ear. 

"You shouldn't bathe out here. If someone comes riding, they might think they've died and gone to the Realm of the Gods." Ivy sighed with reliefandhearing Matthews voice she relaxed and turned to face him.

"You shouldn't have followed me." she stated, trying not to shiver with delight as his hand stroked her back. She grinned, seeing his muscled chest bare in front of her, and the breeches heavy with water clinging to his legs.

"I didn't." he said, smiling at her.

"Really?" Ivy said sardonically.

Matthew nodded and smiled at her. "I went for a ride and found you bathing like a Goddess in this beautifully clear river. I was tempted to sit and watch you, but I preferred this option, don't you?" There was a mischevious glint in his eye and Ivy couldn't help but smile.

"Well . . . as long as you behave yourself I don't see any problems with this current option." she grinned at him, then pulled out of his grip and went under water. Matthew watched as she spun gracefully, then swam away from him. Amused by her childish yet somehow seductive game of catch, he ducked under the water and swam behind her, self-consciously admiring the view of her slim body displayed in front of him. He hurriedly backed away, just avoiding being hit in the face by a savage kick from Ivy. He winked at her before returning to the surface for air. She followed and splashed him in the face.

"Pervert!" she said playfully. Matthew grinned.

"Maybe." he watched as she yawned. "Do you mind stretching just a little more, it'd make your assets stand out so much more!" It was meant to be playful, Ivy knew that, but she couldn't help but feel embarrased as he looked at her body. Matthew opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of what to say. He looked away and cursed under his breath._ Idiot. _he thought. _How much more obvious can you make it? _He looked over at her then looked away again. _Stop staring at her chest you git! _he yelled in his mind. Ivy hesitated for a second, wondering if she should go over to him, then decided against it and got out of the water, pulling on her clothes without so much as attempting to dry herself. She then mounted Thunder and rode back to the palace, hurrying to her rooms where she jumped into a bath and tried to forget that he had looked so obviously at her breasts, trying to forget the look in his eye that made her so weak-kneed. She tried to tell herself that she was not falling for her Knight-Master and that her feelings were totally normal for a girl her age, he was an older man and he was handsome, all girls would fancy him in her position. Right? So why was she so scared of him? Why was she so nervous when he looked at her? And why in the Dark Gods Realm did she feel so safe when he held and kissed her? She waited until the water had gone cold, then dried herself and dressed in comfortable breeches and shirt. Ivy then decided to go and see her parents. After a month without seeing them, she was starting to think they had forgotten her. Slipping quietly out of the room, she jogged down to her parents rooms, where the door hosted a large gold plaque:

_Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malories Peak_

_and_

_Buriram Tourikami of Goldenlake and Malories Peak_

Ivy rapped on the door three times. After a few seconds, the door opened to reveal her father, dressed in breeches and a tunic. A large grin spread over his face when he saw her, then Ivy was seized in a mighty, bone-crushing hug. Ivy hugged back hard, then let go, grinning at her father as he wrinkled his nose at the smell of her hair.

"Strawberry soap was it?" he asked, inviting his daughter in.

Ivy smirked. "I knew it was your favourite." she stated.

Raoul raised an eyebrow. "I'd have settled for non-odour soap, but . . ." he sighed. "Your mothers through there in the bedroom. I'll finda maid tobring somedrinks, I'm parched."he ruffled her hair and smiled at her. "Good tosee you Ivy." he said, then left the room.

Buri was sat on a chair sewing, something that still shocked Ivy even after fifteen years. Buri looked up and grinned at her daughter. "I'll be with you in a minute Ivy. This darned pair of breeches won't sew up. I told your father to get some new ones, but he said they still had a few jousts left in them!" she shrugged, then threw them aside. "He can sort them out himself. The fabrics frayed and I don't exactly have deft fingers do I?"

Ivy grinned and went to hug her small mother. Pulling away Buri cast her daughter a strange look. "Somethings on your mind. What is it?"

Ivy shook her head. "Nothing, I sorted it out," she lied.

Buri sighed. "Its about Matthew isn't it? What was wrong with him anyway?"

Ivy gulped. "Erm. . . he got drained of his gift and he just needed help getting better thats all."

Buri grinned. "And I eat dog muck." she said.

"What was that about eating dog muck?" Raoul said from the doorway. He held a tray of juice, which he offered to Ivy and Buri.

"Nothing," Ivy said. "Mum was just telling me about her new diet shes planning."

Buri spluttered in her glass and shot her daughter a dirty look. "Diet?" Raoul said. "What for? You don't have an ounce of fat on you." Ivy looked away as he began to kiss his wifes neck. She wished then that she had avoided anything that might have made her parents begin kissing. Sometimes Ivy wondered if Raoul and Buri were teenagers trapped inside older peoples bodies. They were always so intimate, something that Ivy had thought ended after the age of forty.

"So what was wrong with Matthew, Ivy?"

* * *

After an hour and a half talking to her parents and convincing them that Matthew had been leeched of his gift for a few weeks, Ivy returned to her own rooms, throwing herself onto her bed and burying her head in her pillow. She didn't go down to the mess hall to eat, instead she crept down to the kitchens and managed to get a bowl of soup and some bread from the chief chef. After eating, she tried to sleep, but found herself unable to, and constantly aware of Matthew pacing behind the adjoining door. There were several times that she was tempted to go in and say that it didn't matter and that she hadn't meant to run off in a stress, but then she remembered the hunger in his eyes, and felt suddenly cold, wondering whether he would try to take advantage of her. After hours there was a loud knock on the door connecting their rooms. Ivy froze, but refused to answer it. 

"Ivy!" Matthew called. "Ivy, come on, I know you're in there!" There was a seconds silence, then he went on. "I'm sorry ok? I don't know what I was thinking. I just . . . you're so beautiful. Sometimes I forget you're just fourteen. Look, I know I'm an idiot, but . . . it won't happen again." Ivy hesitated, then slowly walked over to the door and unlocked it. Matthew was leaning against the frame with his head. He turned to look at her and opened his arms. "Hug?" he asked gently. Ivy smiled slightly, then let his arms wrap around her. Matthew sighed into her hair. "I'm sorry." he whispered. "I don't mean to be a pervert you know. You're just so grown up, you don't seem fourteen. . ." Ivy silenced him, putting her hand over his mouth and resting her head on his chest.

"Please shut up!" she whispered. Matthew looked down at her with a frown.

"Why?" he asked. "I thought girls liked to be apologised to."

Ivy grinned. "We do, but only when we want to hear them. Right now, I like it just like this." She wrapped her arms round his back and smiled into his chest.

Matthew smiled at her and stroked her hair. "I like it like this too, but . . . do I have to apologise later as well?"

Ivy shook her head. "I'll let you off this time." Matthew grinned and bent to kiss her neck. Ivy shivered and clung to him even tighter. Eventually he pulled away, smiling at her.

"Well, just so you know, I am sorry, and it . . ." He was stopped by Ivy standing on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to his. He smiled to himself, and lifted her off the floor, supporting her with strong arms. Ivy sighed and took her mouth away to rest her head on his shoulder. Matthew held her for several minutes, then realised she had fallen asleep. He sighed and carried her over to his bed, there he sat down and moved her so that she was lying with her head on his chest. After kissing her forehead lightly, he closed his eyes, and was instantly transported into a deeper sleep than he had had in a long time.

* * *

Ivy woke up when the first rays of sunlight shone through the window. She was conscious of a warm, hard something under her head, and opened her eyes to find herself wrapped in Matthews hold. She smiled and lay still, looking at his face as he slept. She wondered as she looked what it must be like to wake up with someone like Matthew every day. Ivy wished they could tell people, their parents and everyone . . . Ivy jerked up in the bed and swore loudly. Matthew woke instantly.

"Whats wrong?" he asked, sitting up and looking at her.

"What if Dad finds out?" Ivy whispered, looking at him.

Matthew frowned. "Finds out about what?"

Ivy stared at him for a second, then said. "Us!"

"Oh!" Matthew said, then shrugged. "If he finds out then he'll probably offer a dowry and throw confetti over us! He'll give us his blessing and escort you down the aisle like the proud father he is!" he saidsarcastically.

Ivy groaned. "He'll go nuts, he'll kill you! He'll disown me and . . ." Matthew wrapped his arms round her and pulled her to him.

"He's not going to find out. We'll tell him sometime and he'll probably be angry,but heisn't going to find out alright? Now calm down!"

Ivy nodded and buried her face in his shirt. Several minuteslater, whenshe had calmed down considerably,she asked."Is it actuallyallowed?"

"What?"Matthew saidquietly, resting hishead on hers.

"Squire and Knight-Master relationships." Ivy said.

Matthew shrugged. "I don't know,untilabout 40 years ago it wasonly male squires andmale Knights, so that would have probably got looked down on then. But King Jonathan and LadyAlanna are said to have been lovers when she was his Squire. I don't see why it shouldn't be allowed really." Ivy nodded then looked up at him.

"What are we going todo?" she asked quietly.

Matthew smiled. "We aregoing to sit here until I say so, for I am still your Knight Master and I am therefore allowed to tell you what to do." he pressed his lips to her forehead.

Ivy giggled. "What do you wantme todo?" she asked. Matthew looked at her for asecond.

"Kiss me. I think I went mad in a dream, everywhere hurts." he winked and lay back on his pillows, closing his eyes. Ivy laughed andkissed hischeek tenderly. Matthew sighed, then placeda hand on his eye.

"It hurtshere too!" he said. Ivy smiled and kissed his eyelids.

"Andhere!" he pointed to his nose. Ivy kissed it warmly.

"And I think I cuttheinside of my mouth too, just on the bottom of my tongue . . ." Ivy giggled, then recomposedherself, leaning down to kisshis lips.His mouth opened and she pushed her tongue in, running it over thebottom side of his tongue.Matthews armswrapped round her back andpulled her down on top of him, crushing her breasts against his chest. His hand ranup the inside of her shirt,finding the clasp of herbreastband and swiftly undoing it. He had lifted the shirt over her head and discarded the breastband, and was just beginning to stroke her left breastwhen there was a loud tap on the door.

"Ivy are you in there?"It was Raoul!"I'm coming in alright?"

* * *

**Haha! Cliffies! Love them! Sorry for the delay, my computer was infected with the virus that went round the other day and we had to have the computer wiped. Hope you all liked, and just in case anyones interested, them people that had me on their alert lists have now taken me off :S wonder why that is! Ah well, still getting some reviews from you lovely loyal people, hope you enjoyed, keep reading!**

**Mage of the Heart**


	12. Good Night Angel

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters **

**By the way people, at the end of this chapter, I'll be asking all of you who have read both versions a question, I'd advise reviewing once ;) then once more to answer the question. Just so that you can go in to lots of detail without making my eyes go funny with so much text lol! Anyway, I'm going to stop teasing and get on with the next chapter cause I know you all love cliffies as much as I do and need to read more ;)**

* * *

"Wrong room!" Matthew said instantly. "Hang on!"Ivy stared at him, then grabbed her clothes and moved to run to her own rooms. Matthew darted to the door and waited until she had shut the door, before opening it and opening his mouth to speak. He was caught off guard by a large ham-sized fist darting out of nowhere to send him flying backwards towards the wall. At the last second, Matthew managed to get his feet on the wall and flipped himself away from what could have been a very painful injury. 

"What the hell is going on?" Matthew gasped, rubbing his shoulder.

"Thats exactly what I'd like to know!" Raoul roared.

"I was just in bed!" Matthew said, flabbergasted.

"Who with I wonder?" Raoul growled. Matthew forced a frown.

"Myself. . ."

"Oh really? So why did I have to hang on before you let me in?" Raoul slammed the door behind him and moved to the middle of the room.

"Would you really have liked to see your daughters knight-master naked?" Matthew asked. Raoul opened his mouth, then closed it. Matthew continued,"Right then . . . what was it you wanted?"

"I heard something . . . never mind, it doesn't matter . . ." Raoul looked away from Matthew and his eyes fell on the corner of the room. A sudden look of anger crossed his face. Matthew looked at where his eyes were staring and almost swore. "Whos is that?" Raoul growled.

"Nobody you know . . . just a girl I had round last night . . ." Matthew tried to explain, but his discomfort was obvious. In less than a second Raoul had both hands on Matthews shoulders and had shoved him roughly against the wall.

"Oh really? Well, I seem to recall Buri ordering Ivy a brown breastband just like that only two months ago." His grip tightened. "Do you remember that you swore to me you wouldn't sleep with your Squire before you even met Ivy?"

"Yes,I remember saying I wouldn't sleep with them, and I haven't so if you don't mind taking your hands off me . . ." his hand flashed from his side to grab Raouls wrist, twisting it and forcing him to release him. Using his foot, Matthew pushed him away, not hard enough to hurt him, but it worked.

"Why is Ivys breastband on the floor in your room you paedophile?" Raoul roared.

"What makes you think its Ivy, other than that Ivy had a brown breastband ordered from one of the palace maids. Hundreds of people have them!" Matthew carefully walked away from the wall, wanting to avoid being slammed into it fora second time.

"Not the same size they don't!" Raoul growled.

"You know you're daughters breastband size? And you're calling me a paedophile?" It slipped out before he knew what he was saying. Raoul gritted his teeth.

"If you're ever in a relationship long enough to consider and have children, then you'll understand the parental reasons for knowing chest measurements!"

Matthew hesitated, then decided that if Raoul knew about him and Ivy, Matthew could use it to anger him. Sending a silent apology to Ivy in the next room he said, "Maybe I'll have children with Ivy someday, but I think if we have a girl, I'll let Ivy take care of the measurements, especially in this area . . . " he waved his hand at his chest. Raoul went red with rage, then ran forward, his hand darting to his waist and unsheathing his sword. When Raoul was a metre away, Matthew flipped over the bed, letting Raoul run forwards into the wall. Matthew grabbed his own sword and unsheathed it, waiting for Raoul to recover and attack again. Finally, he turned to face Matthew and jumped over the bed between them. Matthew brought his sword up to block the blow dealt to him, then ducked and rolled away, letting Raoul fall forward after the sudden loss of resistance. Raoul attacked again in earnest, delivering blow after blow to the younger knight. Matthew waited until Raoul was beginning to tire, then jumped backwards, instead of letting Raoul run at him, he sprinted forwards and jumped into the air, clear over the crouching, older mans back. Matthew let his sword slice a shallow line down Raouls back as he jumped, then landed on his feet again. Raoul groaned and turned round with madness in his eyes. Matthew prepared to fight him again.

* * *

Ivy listened at the door of her room after hurriedly pulling on her shirt, cursing herself for leaving her breastband in the room. She had pulled on a new one, and listened intently to her father and knight-master fighting. There were several times when she was tempted to go in, but somehow she didn't think it was a good idea, especially when her father was in such a foul mood. When she heard Matthews comment about having children she gulped, hoping that he was not being serious, she was far too young to think about children. She was wondering about the seriousness of Matthews words when there was a clash of swords. Ivy gulped and waited, hating herself for staying where she was, but not wanting to fuel the argument further. Only when she heard her fathers groan of pain did Ivy open the door. Matthew stared instantly at her and dropped his sword. Raoul growled, "Ivy wait outside!" then turned back to Matthew. Ivy shook her head and ran over to her father, prising his hands away from his sword with much difficulty. After leading him to the bed, she looked at his cut. It was shallow. Looking at Matthew, she realised that he hadn't meant anything more than a shallow cut as a warning. She gave him a small smile, then looked back at the cut. She tried to peel the shirt fabric away from her fathers wound, but her fingers shook. Two hands found hers andmoved them from Raouls back. Ivy looked up at Matthew and gave a smile of thanks before letting him take over. 

"Sorry my Lord, but I'm going to have to fix that wound." Matthew rolled up his sleeve, grinning slightly at the growl that rumbled in Raouls throat. He placed his hand on the older mans back and let blue fire leave his fingers. Ivy stared, unaware that he was still able to use his Gift now that he had discovered that he was a Pyro. Almost as soon as the flesh had melded together once more, Raoul jumped and twisted round, grabbing Matthews arms and pinning him to the wall. Ivy moved to stop him, but Matthew shook his head. Staring at him, she realised that he had expected Raoul to do just that. Looking at his arms, Ivy noticed that they were relaxed. Resisting the urge to grin, Ivy looked on.

"You and me, right now, in the practice courts!" Raoul growled, a small speck of saliva leaving his mouth to land on Matthews face.

"Whatever you say my Lord, but would you mind wiping your spit off my face, I'd rather not have a line of saliva on my face to remind me of this lovely morning, no matter how lovely its been." Matthew drawled.

Raoul looked as though he was resisting the urge to slam the younger man into the wall. "You're not helping yourself Tirragen!"

Matthew smiled, "well, that all depends on your view doesn't it. You might think I'm doing you a favour, whilst I might think -well actually I know- that I'm doing myself a favour."

Raoul frowned. Matthew used his confusion to his advantage, as soon as Raoul concentrated on working out how Matthew was doing himself a favour, his grip had loosened on his arms. Matthew tensed his muscles, and Raoul was caught off guard, feeling the sudden bulging of muscle that had not been there before, and feeling his grip slacken even more. Matthew spun free of Raoul and darted over to the bed beside Ivy. "Practice courts? Now? How about we make it tomorrow just so we're both fresh, after all, you'll be weakened by your healing, and we wouldn't want that to make our fight unfair now would we?" Matthew smiled sweetly and put an arm round Ivys shoulder. "Run along and get your rest like a good little patient, I need to talk to my dear Squire!"

"Tomorrow, I swear I'll knock you out of the saddle, and by the Gods I'll make sure you don't come near my daughter again!" Raoul roared.

Matthew smiled. "Jousting it is then!" Raoul nodded and left the room, fists clenched. "And make sure to drink lots of water!" Matthew called after his retreating back. Judging by the tensed shoulders and arms, Raoul was resisting the urge to slice Matthew to pieces.

Ivy looked up at Matthew and hugged him. "He's going to beat you." she said knowingly. Matthew heard the sadness in her voice and wrapped his arms around her.

"Maybe. . ." Matthew whispered. "But I wouldn't count your chickens just yet, I've got an idea." Ivy frowned.

"What is it?" She asked, slipping onto Matthews knee. He shook his head and kissed her cheek.

"You'll see . . . tomorrow. . . "he murmured, his lips trailing down to her neck. "But I don't recall telling you to leave the bed, you owe me for that you know?" his lips gently carressed her collarbone. Ivy giggled and let him lay her down on her back.

"I know!" she giggled. "Spank me!"

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "I thought I was supposed to be giving you the orders?" he said playfully.

Ivy smiled. "I'm sorry. What would you like me to do?"

Matthew chuckled, "What do you think I'll enjoy?" he enquired, playing with a lock of her hair.

"I don't know. What will you enjoy?"

He smiled at her. "What were we doing earlier again?"

* * *

Buri came to Matthew and Ivys rooms just after dinner, a strangely satisfied look on her face.Luckily,Ivy thought to herself, Matthew isn't here, so she can'tblowhis head off hisshoulders. When she had seen her mother,Ivyhadthought about saying she didn't feel well, but something told her that Buri was not here to argue, so she let her in. 

"Are you mad?" Ivy asked, as she closed the door. To her surprise, Buri shook her head.

"I always knew that you'd find someone your father wouldn't approve of. It's no surprise actually, and it'll be good for your father to get over his anger now while you're still young than later when you bring home a man who you're considering marrying." Buri smiled at her daughter. Ivy looked down. "What is it Ivy?" Buri asked, concerned by her daughters quiet.

"I think its Matthew." Ivy said quietly.

"You think what's Matthew?" Buri said, stifling a yawn.

"I think _its _Matthew." Ivy repeated.

"I really don't understand Ivy, you know how I am with words, I like them simple!"

Ivy sighed. "I think Matthews the one. You know, like Dads the one for you?"

Buri stared. "You don't seriously think he's your soulmate do you?"she said, after a few seconds of silence. Ivy nodded."Whatin Mithros name made you think that?" Ivy went silent."Ivy?" Buri said.

"He's aPyro!"Ivy whispered.Buri stared.

"Excuse me?" Buri said with an eyebrowraised.

"He's a Pyro, you know, those really rare people who can burstinto flame and not feel anything from the heat?"

"I know what a Pyro is!" Buri said impatiently. "But when did you find out? And whats it got to do with you and him being soulmates?"

Ivy took in a deep breath. "I found out when wewent to Meron. He got angry when the Spidren knocked me out and he went pyrotic." she took another breath in. "And it has everythingtodo with me and him being soulmates, because . . ." she stopped.

Buri waved a hand telling her to go on. "Because . . .?"

Ivy gulped. "They onlyfind out they're a Pyro around their soulmate. When their soulmates in danger, they go mad."

Buri stared, then shook her head. "Has your Uncle Numair been feeding you rubbish again? I tell you, one of these dayshe'll learn to keepstumabout things that he'sread about in some little known book!"

"He was right!"Ivy said. She slowly explained everything that had happened since the hunt to Meron, trying to rack her brains for as many details as possible. "You can't tell Dad!" she told her mother when she was through. "He'll go even more nuts than he already is!" Buri nodded.

"You're right, he will, but he'll have to find out sometime." Ivy nodded.

"How did he find out about me and Matthew anyway?" She asked.

Buri sighed. "A serving girl saw the two of you in a corner yesterday and let onto your father this morning. Naturally he went completely bonkers and came running here to do anything he could to Matthew."

The door opened, and Matthew walked in. "Oh. . ." he said, seeing Buri. "I'll wait." he went to leave the room but Buri shook her head.

"No need." she explained. "I'm just leaving, but if you don't mind, I'dlike a word with you outside?" Matthew nodded, andfollowed thesmall woman into the corridor.

"Now,I know everythingabout you and your. . . Pyroticactivity. But that doesn't give you any . . ." she stopped when Matthew heldup a hand.

"I think we have an eavesdropper."he casually leant against the door, then slammed the handle down and thrust the door open. Ivy jumped out of the way of the door and glared at Matthew.He grinned and pointed in the direction of his room. "Any chance you could do my armour for me? I think I'll need it tomorrow." he blew her a small kiss before winking and shutting the door again. He waited until he heard the clanking of metal beforehe nodded. "You were saying?"

Buriwas startled, then nodded. "Oh, yes, well, I know all about you being a Pyro, but it doesn't mean you have any exceptions to rules. If you plan to continue this . . .relationship . . .with my daughter, then you have to treat her with the respect she deserves. Understand?"

Matthewgrinned and tookBuri's hand in his, bringingit to his lips. After gently brushing it with his mouth, he let it go and said. "Buriram Tourikam, I would never dream of harming any daughter of yours and the Giantkiller, and as the mother of my beautiful young Squire. . ."

"Lover!" Buri corrected.

Matthew frowned. "Not as such, but if it pleases you, then yes, as the mother of my beautiful young _lover_, you are entitled to bestow on me any number of beatings if you think I am taking advantage of,or hurting her in any way."

Buri grinned. "I'll hold you to that." she paused, then said, "if the two of you decide to commit any time soon, make sure she's protected. She's too young to be a mother, and I'm too young to be a grandmother." she winked.

"Oh of course," Matthew said, playing along, "You're far too young and beautiful to be a grandmother, why you must only be 40 at the most. And if I didn't know better I'd say you were only 21."

Buri raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to suck up to me you know." she smiled. "You look after my daughter, or there'll be more than a joust with Raoul to face."

Matthew nodded, and in a much more serious tone, said, "I promise, I would never deliberately let harm come to her." he hesitated, then went on. "She means more to me than anything. I just wanted you to know." he bowed and entered his room, leaving Buri with a small smile on her face.

_Nice man, _she thought, _and I'm pretty sure he meant all that business about her meaning everything to him.

* * *

_

Ivy looked up as Matthew entered. He opened his arms, asking for a hug, but Ivy glared at him and went on with polishing Matthews armour. Matthew frowned and sat down next to her on the bed.

"What's wrong?" He said quietly.

"Nothing, I just wouldn't want you to have dirty armour for tomorrow, and I know what you're like. So if you don't mind leaving me to do this, I'll be done in half an hour." Ivy continued to polish, even though the armour was already sparkling. Matthew grinned and knelt behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. She froze, feeling his warm breath on her ear, his mouth tantalizingly close.

"Don't stop working, I'm just making sure you don't miss anywhere, and that you can work without being distracted." He suppressed a chuckle as he felt her shoulders slump.

"I can!" she insisted, and shifted slightly so that she could no longer feel his breath.

"If you say so." Matthew said, wrapping an arm round her waist and pressing his lips to her neck. "Don't mind me, keep working hard, just act as if I'm not here." There was a silence, then the sound of a cloth rubbing hard on a polished surface. Matthew gently ran his tongue over her neck, then moved to her ear, taking its lobe into his mouth. Ivy stopped and gently lowered the armour to the floor. Matthew, whose eyes were closed, didn't notice, and continued his teasing. Ivy waited, then twisted away from him.Matthews eyes flew open and he looked at her with a mischevious glint in his eyes. "Want to play chase now do we?" he asked in a low voice. Ivy giggled, then darted into her room. Matthew smiled and jumped up, running after her. He saw her stick her tongue out at him before leaving the room and shutting the door. Still smiling, Matthew gave chase, despite thelooks that he recieved for chasing hisSquire,tailing her to the stables where she tried to hide behind a haystack. Matthew walked slowly past, pretending not to notice her, then suddenly he darted over and grabbed her by the waist, chuckling as he leant to kiss her cheek. Ivy wrapped her arms round his back, moving to kiss him on the neck. He pulled back and shook his head, a grin on his face. Ivy pouted, but Matthew only smiled, pulling out of her reach. She went to grab him but he dodged away. "My turn to run now, your turn to chase!" he winked and sprinted back to his rooms, laughing at her complaints. He hid behind the door, and when she came in, jumped and grabbed her waist, flying through the air to his bed. He landed on top of her and grinned. "I win, both times." he went to move off her but she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to her for a kiss. He rolled his eyes, then rolled on to his side, feeling her move closer to him and press herself to his body. After several minutes, he eased his mouth away from hers. She smiled at him.

"Night Matthew." she said, then lay her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and going to sleep. Matthew sighed and kissed her cheek.

"Night Ivy." he whispered. After several minutes, when her breathing was normal again and he thought she was asleep he said, "I love you." He was about to slip out of the bed when he heard her say something.

"I love you too." she murmured. Something overflowed in Matthews chest. Instead of leaving, he pulled her closer and breathed in her scent.

"You smell so good," he said unconsciously. Ivy giggled.

"I'ddaydadameboutdubumymouthscoveredinshirt," she mumbled. Matthew pulled back.

"Excuse me?" he said.

"Exactly!" Ivy giggled and lay her head on his shoulder. She sniffed and smiled. "I suppose you don't smell that bad, once you get over the smell of . . . " she sniffed again. "Polish."

Matthew laughed. "Shouldn't it be you that smells of polish and not me? After all, you were supposed to be doing my armour!"

"Well, you just like the smell of polish obviously, unlike me. I prefer the smell of soap." she put her hands on the buttons of his shirt. "Its only the shirt that smells . . ." she stated carefully. Matthew grinned.

"I suppose if you're a good girl I could take it off . . . " he faked hesitation, then helped her to unbutton his shirt. Ivy eased it away from his shoulders, then dropped it over the side of the bed, pushing him down onto his back and resting her head on his muscled chest, listening to his heart beat.

"What are you thinking?" Matthew asked after several minutes of comfortable silence.

Ivy hesitated, then honestlysaid, "I'm wishing that you'll be mine forever."

Matthew looked down at her, then smiled. "You don't need to wish, I always will be." It didn't occur to either of them that they had only known each other for a few months, or that they had only begun this type of relationship the day before, it felt as though they had known each other for years. Matthew slipped his hand onto Ivys waist and kissed the top of her head.

"What are you thinking?" Ivy asked quietly.

Matthew smiled, and shifted her so that her face was level with his. His grip tightened slightly on her waist and he looked her deep in the eyes. "That I love you too much to let you go." he kissed her lightly then nuzzled her nose with his. "You're beautiful!" he whispered. Ivy smiled and kissed his neck.

"You're gorgeous." she whispered into his ear, her breath sending shivers down his spine. Ivy closed her eyes and smiled. "Good night." she said.

"Good night angel." Matthew replied.

* * *

**Now for the question. . . .**

**which version, this one or the last one, is better on what you have read so far? I won't be offended if you think it was the last one, but if loads of you prefer that one, I might have to make two versions of the story, and then what kind of a mess will I be in? Anyways, hope you enjoyed . . . sorry bout the delay, hope it was worth it! **

**Mage of the Heart**


	13. A Fathers Fury

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce Characters**

* * *

Ivy woke up early to find Matthews mouth pressed lightly to hers. Opening her eyes, she saw his smile in his eyes. He gently opened her mouth and pushed his tongue in to find hers. Instantly, Ivy wrapped her arms around his back and let him push her down on to her back. Both of them closed their eyes, enjoying the mutual feeling of warmth and comfort. When they came up for air, Ivy smiled up at him. 

"You woke me up." she said.

Matthew nodded. "That was the idea!"

Ivy yawned. "Well, if I fall asleep during your joust with Dad, its your fault!"

"Maybe." he grinned. "But I'll forgive you."

Ivy looked at him for a second, then kissed his nose. Matthew smiled. He gently stroked her face with the back of his hand,then leant down to kiss her neck. Ivy sighed and let him ease his lips over her collarbone. She gasped as he gently sank his teeth in to her skin, leaving a small bruise. He pulled away and looked deep into her eyes, longing and pain filling his eyes.

"Whats wrong?" Ivy asked.

"Nothing . . . its just . . . if I lose, this could be the last time I kiss you."

Ivy looked at him for a few seconds, then shook her head. "You won't lose!" she assured him.

"You don't know that, I don't know that. I wish I hadn't been so stupid yesterday. If I hadn't admitted we were together, this wouldn't be happening." He moved off her and lay beside her, stroking her hair.

"He would have found out someday. And even if you lose, he can't stop me seeing you," she moved closer and let his arms enfold her.

"I love you." Matthew whispered in her ear.

Ivy nodded. "I love you too."

* * *

Matthew left the room at midday, heading down to the practice courts where he and Raoul would joust. After collecting his shield, lance and horse, he sat down under a tree, thinking. _Raoul isn't like most people, he doesn't take the bait of having insults thrown at him, but maybe, if I use Ivy asa way to anger him, he'll lose it and give me the chance to beat him. . . then again, he might be even better when hes angry, then I'll be in big trouble. _Magic butted Matthew with his nose. Looking up Matthew saw Raoul entering the practice courts, followed by several people who Matthew had not expected to come. The Prime Minister Gareth of Naxen, Daine the Wildmage, Numair, Alanna the Lioness, Keladry of Mindelan,King Jonathan, Queen Thayet and the whole of the Kings Own that were in the Palace. Matthew stood and walked Magic over, joining Ivy at the side of the court. 

"What's going on?" He asked her, not taking his eyes off the party.

"I guess Dad got them all to come to make you feel nervous." shenarrowed her eyes. "Hope you beat him, and I hope you beat him bad. He acts like I'm five years old!"

Matthew sighed and let go of Magic's reins, then pulled her to him, letting her head rest against his chest. He suppressed the urge to laugh at the look of horror on Raouls face as Matthew bent to kiss her cheek. When he moved to let her go, he found her hands on the back of his head, pulling him in for a full kiss. He thought of pulling away, then decided to start angering Raoul now instead of when he got into the saddle. Closing his eyes, Matthew leant in and kissed her, opening her mouth to allow him in. The growl of fury that came from Raoul proved that he was maddened. Grinning to himself, Matthew let his tongue roam Ivys mouth for several minutes then pulled away. Looking towards Raoul, Matthew saw that King Jonathan, Gareth, Alanna, Keladry and Numair were all holding him back, whilst Buri stood in front of him, hissing something that Matthew couldn't hear. He looked at Ivy, then released her and swung himself into the saddle. As he bent to pick his staff up from where it leant against the wall, he felt a weight press on his legs. Looking up, he saw Ivy, straddling him, with a large smile upon her face.

"Ivy . . . I don't think you should do that. . . your Dads going to go spare . . ." Matthew trailed off as Ivy kissed him again, a long, lingering kiss.

"Good, because he can't fight when he goes mad," she gave him one last kiss then jumped off, grinning at the look on Matthews face. She passed him his shield, then walked over to join Buri and the others. Shaking his head, Matthew took his position at the end of the court, waiting for Raoul to complete his stretches. Finally Raoul was in the saddle. Matthew hefted his lance in his right hand and shook his left out, then put his shield in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye, Matthew saw Jonathan stand up and read out the rules of jousting. Matthew didn't listen. He knew them all off by heart, he didn't need to listen to them again. Instead he looked at Ivy, stood in between Alanna and Buri, towering over them. He grinned, then looked at Raoul, who sat shaking with frustration in his saddle, lance held in a trembling hand. Withother opponents that Matthew had faced, it hadbeen fear, either because they knewMatthewhad an unbeaten record,or becauseitwas their first joust. Niether of these applied to Raoul, but Matthew hoped that the shaking hand would help him to hit off target. Finally Jonathan finished reading the rules. Matthew leant down to Magics neck, preparing to urge him into a gallop, when he heard Raouls voice from the other end.

"Do you object to me killing him when I win sire?" he growled. Matthew sat up and looked at the King.

Jonathan sighed. "Do you object to this Sir Matthew?"

Matthew shrugged. "No sire." he inclined his head in a bow, and avoided looking at Ivy, knowing what he would see on her face.

"In that case, you both have the right to kill the other." Jonathan sat down hard on a seat.

Looking towards Raoul, Matthew saw something like glee on his face. He took in a deep breath, then prepared to run. When Jonathan spoke, both Raoul and Matthew urged their horses into a gallop. Matthew focused completely on the older mans shield, ignoring the sound of thundering hooves underneath him. Just as they were about to make contact, Matthew heard the clunk of metal, and felt Magic go unbalanced. He looked behind him, loosening his grip on the shield and not looking at Raoul, instead helooked at the horse shoe that had just been thrown. He only remembered that he was in a joust when he felt a lance slam into his left side. Thrown from the saddle, Matthew shed his shield and lance, tucking into abackwards somersault before landing on his face. Magic turned as soon as his rider was thrown and ran back to him, offering support when Matthew had landed. It had taken Matthew months to teach Magic to do it, and he had refused the help of the Wildmage, wanting to make a proper bond with his horse, not one tied by a woman who wouldn't always be around. As he leant against Magic for support, Matthew was thankful for the hours he had spent being thrown from the saddle by the training master in his last year as a Squire. Seeing Raouls grin Matthew suddenly felt angry.

"You cheating bastard!" he growled. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Ivy and the others ran over, grabbing Matthews arms to stop him striking the older man.

"You lost Tirragen!" Raoul spat. "And as far as I recall sire, it was my right to kill him!"

"It was if it was won fairly. The circumstances of winning fairly means that there are no loose horseshoes. Sir Matthew has the right to a rematch. You do not have the right to kill him now." Jonathans voice was more stern than anyone had ever heard it before.

"He should have made sure his damned horse wasn't going to shed a shoe!" Raoul shouted.

Matthew tore free of the hands that held him and went to run over to Raoul, not sure what he was going to do. "Matthew!" Ivy said. Somehow her voice made him stop. He looked at her as she ran over to him and lead him and Magic to the blacksmith. Matthew felt a surge of grim satisfaction as Magic bit hard into Raouls arm. Raoul swore at him, then dismounted to complain to Jonathan.

"He cheated." Matthew growled. "He got someone to make sure Magic shod his shoe. He knew I'd look away. I don't know how but he did. . ." he was silenced as Ivy put her hands on the side of his face.

"When did you get Magics shoes done last?" she asked calmly.

"Yesterday morning, about two hours after Raoul came to our rooms." Matthew rested his head on hers. "He was there . . . " he said quietly. "Raoul was at the other side of the smithys, talking to Barney. . . " Barney was the blacksmith that dealt with horseshoes. Ivy stared at him.

"You're sure?" Ivy said carefully.

"Yes!" Matthew snapped. He apologised instantly.

"Alright, I'll go and get Barney to do the shoes all again just in case. You go and get a drink or something." Ivy let go of him and lead Magic into the main workshop area of the blacksmiths. Matthew stared after her for several seconds, then went back to join the King and the others. Alanna and Numair approached him instantly and pulled him over to the corner.

"Are you Ok?" Numair asked carefully.

"I'm fine . .." Matthew said, looking over at Raoul with anger in his eyes.

"Raouls a twit." Alanna said to nobody in particular, but both men instantly looked at her. "He knew he'd lose. I knew there was something going on he wasn't telling us about." she looked at Matthew. "You could always try challenging him to a fencing match?" she suggested.

Matthew shook his head. "I'm not chickening out just because he made my horse shod a shoe. He can wait and face me again later, Magic'll be able to work again then."

"Fine, but just stay out of his way until then." Alanna saidquietly. "I don't think you'rehisfavourite person right now."

"Idon'tknow what you're on aboutmy lady!"Matthew drawled. "We're like best friends, exceptfor the part wherehe thinks I'm sleeping with hisdaughter when all we've done is kiss, oh and the part where hetried to kill me."

"You're not sleeping with her?"Numair said, somewhat surprised.

Matthew rolled his eyes. "What is with you people? Allofyou seem to think I'll bed her straight away, I'm not completelydishonourable."

Numair apologised. "Butyouunderstand where we get the idea from." he added."Imean, you've hardly been a committed lovernow have you? Two days must be the longest relationship you've had in your life!"

Matthew stared at him, then said quietly. "You know what she means to me Numair, you're the one that toldme in thefirst place."

Numairnodded. "I remember telling you you were soulmates, I don't remember telling you notto sleep with her though,I congratulate youfor keeping yourself in your breeches for as long as you have."

Alanna grinned. "You would always go pyrotic on him you know. I'm sure Raoul would love you for that."

Matthew gawped. "You know?"

Numair nodded. "Anyone with the Gift can tellyou have a different power now, butonly experienced mages will know you're a Pyro."

Matthewexcused himself as he saw Ivy approaching, then ran to meet her, taking her in hisarms and kissing her deeply, seton getting Raoul as annoyedas possible. "What did Barney say?" he asked when they seperated.

"He admitted it." Ivy said coldly. She stared at her father with something like disgust in her eyes. "Dad paid him. He said Magic will be ready to run again later. I made sure he won't do the same thing again." she said when she saw the look in his eyes.

Matthew nodded. "Thanks." he looked over at Raoul. "I'm going to go and sort this out." he said quietly. After kissing her once more he walked back over to Raoul and the others.

"Nice little prank Giantkiller." He said coldly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I guess its great being able to make sure a shoe gets shod, I mean Barney, just admitted you bribed him to make the shoe loose. So come on, get it off your chest and admit it."

Raoul stared. "What am I meant to admit?" he tried to cover up his obvious unease.

"Bribing Barney." Matthew said simply.

Jonathan looked at Raoul. "Explain yourself Raoul." he ordered.

Raoul gritted his teeth. "Alright, so I bribed him to make the shoe loose." He looked at Matthew. "Its nothing compared to what you've done to my daughter! Shes fourteen and you've had her in bed with you, you're four years older than her! Haven't you ever been taught about responsibility?"

Matthew smiled grimly. "Oh I have actually. And I listened to it. I haven't had your daughter in my bed, except to sleep. We haven't done anything except kiss, hug and lie down in the same bed. We haven't had any kind of intercourse like you seem to think, so you might want to get over thinking you're the only one who has Ivysbest interests at heart. If she didn't mean everything in the whole bloody world to me, then you're right, I'd probably have done what I wanted and broomed her by now. But I didn't. Contrary to what you want to believe, I'm in love with your daughter alright? And if I have to fight you to have the right to show that then fine, but Gods help you if you think you'll keep me and her apart while I'm still standing! I'll see you back here at sunset, and if you still want to fight me then fine, I'll see you then." He turned and took the hand Ivy offered, bringing it to his lips, before pulling her to his side and resting his head on hers.

"Thank you." Ivy said quietly, so that only Matthew heard.

"For what?" he murmured.

"What you said." she said, lifting her head to look at him.

Matthew smiled. "I was just telling the truth. You mean everything to me." he kissed her forehead. "And don't forget it."

Ivy shook her head. "I won't." she smiled, then kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you!" Matthew said. He looked over his shoulder at Raoul and grinned. "I think your Dads a bit annoyed." he said. Ivy nodded.

"Good," she said, "it serves him right."

Matthew looked at her then sighed. "You don't mean that."

"Right now, I do!" Ivy insisted.

Matthew shook his head. "No you don't, you're just angry with him!" he walked her out of the court, then lead her to the palace gardens, sitting her down in front of one of the rose bushes and stroking her face. "You are the most beautiful woman on earth." he stated quietly, then leant in to kiss her neck. Ivy stifled a giggled, then combed her fingers through his hair, letting him move further down her neck. After stroking her collarbone with his tongue several times, he took his mouth from her soft skin and pulled her to his chest, whispering to her.She laughed and looked at him for several seconds. Matthew smiled at her, then leant closer to her and pressed his lips to hers, gently lowering her onto her back and stroking her side with a warm hand. Ivy sighed into his mouth and kissed him back, opening her mouth almost instantly. Matthew lethis other hand moveup to strokeher breasts.Neither of them heard the snapping of twigs, or the small growl of anger from somewhere nearby . . .

* * *

Raoul watched as his daughter was walked out of the courts with her Knight Master, feeling anger brew in his chest as they talked in hushed voices. He waited until they had rounded the corner, then followed them, making an excuse to Buri about needing to be alone. He follwed them to the gardens, then watched as Matthew began to kiss Ivys neck and whispering what could only have been references to sex in her ear. Raoul waited, clenching his fists. He was fighting with himself not to run over and hit him, however,when he saw Matthew begin to kiss and stroke his daughter, he lost all control. He growled in anger and began to walk to the pair of them. When he was only a metre away he stopped. 

"Only kissed and hugged?" Raoul growled.

* * *

"Only kissed and hugged?" as soon as the two of them heard the words, they sprang apart. Matthew took his hand from Ivys breasts, then jumped up to his feet. 

"Listen Raoul, it really isn't what it looks like!" Matthew started to explain.

"I know exactly what it looked like, and thats exactly what it was! You were bloody feeling up my daughter! If I hadn't got here, you'd probably be screwing by now!" Raoul yelled, and sent saliva flying from his mouth.

"Dad! Shut up!" Ivy yelled, getting up and straightening her shirt. "I'm not five years old any more, so stop acting like you're in charge of my life! If me and Matthew want to have sex then we will!"

"Don't talk to me like that!" Raoul roared. "You are still a child and he has no business with a girl your age. Now go and wait in my rooms and I'll talk to you later!" he turned on Matthew. "I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing mister, but if you plan on playing it with my daughter then you have another thing coming! All that crap about Ivy meaning the world to you? It was just to try and get me on side so that you could get my daughter into bed wasn't it?"

"Oh cutit Raoul, stop living in the dream world where Ivy's still a kid. I don't know whats wrong with you! Maybe you don't like seeing Ivy grow up, or maybe, you don't want to admit to yourself that you're growing old, and if you act like Ivy's still little, by some act of the Gods you'll suddenly be young again. But whatever it is you need to get over it!" Matthew turned to face Raoul and looked at him almost sympathetically. "You know, I almost feel sorry for you. In fact, I do. I'm not even going to do anything to you for going and screwing up my horses shoes, though you really deserve a proper beating for lack of chivalry."

Raoul growled. "If you're such a bigshot on the code of chivalry, then what about sleeping with your Squire, is that considered chivalrous?"

Matthew smiled slightly. "Theres nothing against it in the code I read."

"Well doesn't it say somewhere to respect women? Screwing withIvys emotions is hardly respecting her, and what about all those other women you've been with? Hardly an expert atchivalry are you?" Raoul raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to answer back.

Matthew shook his head. "What I have done with women in the past was have one night with them, we both knew it was a one night thing, so there was no disrespect caused. And I am not, as you put it 'screwing with Ivys emotions' for the first time in my life I'm in a relationship that means something, and if being completely besotted and acting just as you and Buri do is disrespecting women, then aren't we both guilty of it?"

Raoul growled once again. "Buri and I are married, you'll never come anywhere near marriage, you'll never be anything except a fighter, but what goods that when nobody loves you? Who will you be fighting for?"

"I love him!" Ivy said quietly. Raoul stared at her.

"What?" he said.

"I love him." Ivy repeated. Matthew stayed quiet as Raoul looked at him.

"You've brainwashed her!" Raoul stated. Matthew almost laughed.

"Brainwashed? I don't think so." he walked over to Ivy and kissed her forehead before looking back to Raoul. "I'll see you in our joust later." he said. "Don't be late. I'd hate to miss the look on your face when I leave with your daughter in my arms."

"She'll be leaving with you in her arms. And if I have anything to do with it, you'll be dead and cut into little pieces."

Matthew smiled. "Just remember what we're fighting for Raoul."

* * *

The sun was just going down as Ivy and Matthew headed down to the practice courts once again. Matthew stayed quiet, not noticing that his grip on Ivys hand had tightened much more than was neccesary. Ivy cast him several looks, trying to work out what he was thinking. Finally she gave up, his face was giving nothing away, and although his grip suggested he was nervous, she wasn't sure. When they finally got there, she pulled him over to the corner where someone had left Magic. After checking the horseshoes for safety, Ivy threw herself into Matthews arms. Matthew hugged her tight, then looked over to the other side of the court, where around forty people stood, waiting for Raoul and Matthews joust to start. Raoul stood alone at the end of the court, climbing into the saddle. After kissing Ivy swiftly, Matthew jumped onto Magics back and rode to his place at the opposite end, lance and shield in hand. Once more Jonathan read out the rules of the joust, and once more Raoul asked if they had the right to kill the opponent. Matthew spat the phlegm that had gathered in his throat out, then leant down to Magics neck. As soon as Jonathan gave the word, Matthew urged Magic into a gallop, setting his lance and focusing completely on Raouls shield. They thundered on towards Raoul and his mount. As soon as he was in range, Matthew slammed his lance into the shield, just as Raoul slammed his into Matthews own. Niether of them came out of the saddle, and they raced to the other end of the court. Turning at the end, Matthew saw Raoul rubbing the arm that held his shield. Grinning slightly, Matthew returned to his spot, raising an eyebrow at Raoul as he passed. Ivy met him at the other end and hopped onto his stirrup. "Try and hit him just below the shoulder on his left arm, it works for Kel." Matthew grinned at her and kissed her on the cheek. Ivy hesitated, then said, "you won't kill him will you?" Matthew opened his mouth to answer when Jonathan called him back to his position. Matthew gently kissed the corner of Ivys mouth. She jumped down as he mouthed 'sorry' to her. Ivy stared, unsure what the sorry was for. Did it mean he was apologising for killing her father if he won? Or apologising for them being interrupted? She sighed and rejoined her mother. Matthew looked down at Raoul, sat in his horses saddle, something between rage and thought on his face. Matthew sighed and walked Magic back to their position, lying flat on his neck once again. Jonathan began the joust, then Magic instantly began to gallop, Matthew grinned, then adjusted his lances position, aiming it at the spot between Raouls left arm and shoulder. As Raoul hit Matthews shield, Matthew snaked his lance to where he wanted it to go, not losing any speed or force behind the shot. He felt a jolt and in his right arm as his lance and Raouls body met. He moved to veer away, and was thrown from the saddle, just as Raoul was thrown out of his. Matthew tucked in and fell to the floor in a backwards roll, jumping to his feet instantly. Raoul was laid on his back groaning in pain. Matthew jumped over the barrier and crouched next to him. He reached out to offer support to the older man, but was shoved away. 

"Don't try that mister, helping me up isn't going to stop me from fighting you!" Raoul groaned slightly as he got to his feet, the muscles in his back protesting.

"I was just trying to help . . ." Matthew started, but Raoul was already walking away. He rolled his eyes, then jumped back over the barrier to remount Magic. "You'd think the older you got, the more you'd appreciate some help, but no!" Once more he walked Magic back to their position at the end of the court. Jonathan called to begin quickly, and for the final time, Matthew and Raoul thundered towards each other. Only when he was a quarter of the way down the court did Matthew realise that his grip was all wrong. He tried to change it without making it too obvious, but he couldn't. Looking up he saw Raoul getting ever closer. Matthew swore under his breath, then felt Raouls lance meet with his body, and was thrown backwards without even aiming at the older man. He landed on his back and gasped for air, suddenly winded. The little sunlight that was left was suddenly blocked out by a towering figure. Matthew lifted his foot just in time to block the down coming lance from hitting him. He wrapped two feet around the lance and flicked it, throwing it from Raouls grip to fly out of reach. Raoul growled and his hand flew to his belt. Instinctively, Matthew kicked the man in the stomach with both booted feet. As the man leant forward, he lifted him into the air, throwing him over his head. As Raoul was in the air, Matthew got to his feet and unsheathed his own sword, still struggling for breath.

Raoul struggled to his feet and turned to Matthew with rage in his eyes. "You agreed to killing if I won, just let me kill you!"

Matthew managed a grin. "I didn't say I wouldn't . . ." he gasped for breath, "fight back . . . "

Raoul spat, then raced forwards towards the younger man. Matthew dodged to the side, then turned to face Raoul, crouching. There was a few seconds waiting, then Raoul charged again, bringing his sword down onto Matthew. Matthew blocked and pushed up at Raoul, gritting his teeth as he bore upwards. His lungsfought for air and the muscles of his arms screeched in protest at the jarring pain being forced on themby the pressure of Raouls attack. Matthew looked upand met Raouls eyes, then pushed up hard. Raoul was not expectingit and waspushed away. Despite his muscles aching and his lungs struggling to work, Matthew attacked as fast as he could, his sword darting at every part of Raoul that was left open for more than a second. Raoul blocked blow after blow hurriedly, trying to snake his sword around Matthews to flick it away, but Matthew was too quick.Whenever he attempted it, Matthew swiftly drew back. After several minutes of earnest attacking, Matthew managed to force Raouls sword from his hands and knock the older man onto his back with the base of his foot. Straight away, Matthew dropped his sword and gasped for breath, fighting to breathe. He fell onto his knees and looked at Raoul,t rying to see what he was thinking. Raouls eyes were closed in something like confusion and exhaustion. Matthew didn't question it, he struggled to his feet and walked slowly over to theside of the court. Someone in the crowd of forty people called his name, but it didn't register until he felt a sudden seering pain in his back as a blade of some kind buried itself in his back. Matthew fell to his knees and reached up to his back, his hand found something metal. He gripped it and managed to pull it out to look at a blood covered knife. Blood gushed from the wound as Matthew turned to see Raoul, lifted onto his elbow, posed as if he had thrown it. Matthew looked at him for a second, then started to speak, but he couldn't. Somebodys arms wrapped around him, but he didn't know who it was, his eyes closed and his body screamed in pain. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Something dark came forward, hand outstretched towards him, into him. The hand sank into his chest, then Matthew couldn't see, feel or hear anything. . .

* * *

**Haha! I'm so evil. And I completely refuse to update unless i get at LEAST 5 reviews, so get typing, or you will never see what happens, and if you like the story then you're going to have to review MUAHAHAHA!**


	14. The Black God and Pyroma

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Shall we continue?**

Ivy held Matthew as he bled in her arms. She didn't dare look at Raoul, knowing that if she did then she would throw up any dinner that she had managed to eat. She watched as her Aunt Alanna and her friend Nealan of Queenscove began to work healing magic. Tears ran down her cheeks and someone put a hand on her shoulder, trying to get her to come away. She shrugged it off and stared at Matthews face, fastly going from pink to white. Only when Alanna pulled Matthew from her arms did Ivy stand up and turn to see her mother. She instinctively buried her face into her mothers shoulder, hurting her neck considerably as she did so, but not caring. A large hand rested on her back. She looked round, then jerked away from her father.

"Ivy . . ." Raoul started, but Ivy shook her head.

"You might have killed him! If he's dead I'm never talking to you again . . . ever!" she turned and ran, trying to ignore the realization that she was fast becoming the kind of loved up maiden she had always hated. She ran back to Matthews room, slamming the door and throwing herself on his bed. Burying her face in the pillow, she took in a deep breath, inhaling Matthews distinct smell of honey mixed with spice, and, on this occasion, polish. She smiled slightly at the thought of their conversation the night before, then cried heavily, soaking the pillow case with tears. There was a knock, then the sound of a door opening. Ivy turned to see Alanna and Neal in the door, both white from using alot of Gift. She sat up and wiped her eyes. "Where is he?" she whispered.

"The infirmary." Alanna said shakily. "Ivy, I should warn you, he's lost alot of blood. He might not make it."

Ivy got up and hugged her aunt and friend weakly, "he will." she insisted, more to herself than anyone else. "He will." She began the walk to the infirmary.

"You should have told her." Neal said, as soon as she was out of earshot.

"Told her what?" Alanna snapped. "That her lovers nearly been killed by her father and that he's fighting the Black God for his life? I don't think so!"

Neal bit his lip then said. "You're the one that decided to do that stupid spell and see what was going on." he pointed out. "I'd have thought that was to be able to tell her, not just so that you knew. We both know that Gods can't get beaten by mortals, especially not weak ones. He can't win against the Black God. You should tell her." he rested a hand lightly on his former knight-mistresses shoulder, then turned and walked away.

"Matthew you better beat him," the Lioness whispered under her breath. "Just so I can shove it in his face."

Matthew was lying still on his side in a bed nearest the door in the infirmary. He was white, so much so that if it weren't for his brown and blonde hair, he might have been one of the bedsheets. Ivy sat and took his hand, gulping at the iciness of his flesh. She rubbed his hand, trying to put some heat into him, but he stayed cold. She stared at him for a second, then, stealing a look around to make sure nobody was there, she pulled back the sheets to look at his wound. She bit back the vomit that had gathered in her throat, seeing the bloody bandage, just able to make out where the cut was, as the bandage had a small dark line of blood on it, which then spread out into red. She pulled the covers back over him, then lay down beside him, facing inwards to look at his face and chest. She hesitated, then wrapped her arms lightly around him, reasoning that he needed the warmth, and that she needed to hold him. Placing her face on his shoulder, Ivy cried again, until she couldn't make any more tears. She fell asleep, wondering if she'd ever talk to him again.

Matthew didn't know where he was. Wherever he looked there was just ongoing darkness. The floor on which he lay was cold, and he wondered if it was made of metal. He forgot the injury in his back, until he pushed up and felt the muscle which had been stabbed roar in pain. He gasped and fell forwards onto his face. He put his hand out to find something to hold, and cut himself on a blade of some type, he gently pulled it towards him, grunting in pain as he stretched out. His hand found a metal hilt, enclosing it in his fist, he picked it up. It was Raoul's knife, he knew that, but there was something almost ghostly about it. It was glowing, ever so faintly, a light blue. Matthew stared for what seemed like seconds, then heard voices all around him. He looked up, seeing white and blue wisps of what could have been wind, except that he could see it. His head began to pound as he heard people screaming in his head, then over them all came a mans voice, or at least he thought it could have been a man, except that it sounded as though it were being spoken through a tube and then made crackly.

"Matthew of Tirragen!" it crackled, Matthew covered his ears with his hands, but it sounded in his head, ricocheting off the walls of his skull. "Not as soon as I had expected, you were at least meant to make it to your Squires ordeal day, but I suppose a few years can't make much difference. . ." As Matthew struggled to stand, ignoring the pain coursing through his entire body, a dark cloud flew at his chest, knocking him onto his back and causing even more pain.

"Where the hell am I?" Matthew gasped.

"Where do you think?" the voice said loudly, no longer crackling.

"If I knew I wouldn't be bloody asking!" Matthew snapped, somehow finding the boldness to speak out, even though he was aching all over and he was in no position to be answering back.

There was a loud laugh, then a hooded figure appeared in front of him. "You're in between life," he pointed upwards. Far above there was a circle of light, "and death," he pointed down. Suddenly Matthew was floating and there was no ground, there was a black pit, never ending. Matthews stomach went queasy, and he instantly looked up, trying not to ask how he could still feel his stomach when he wasn't even alive. _You're not dead either. _he thought.

The hooded figure roared with laughter. "You might as well be, unless you can beat me in a duel, you enter the depths of death. And no sword or spear will help you with this. Everything you have will be consumed by darkness. . ." the figure launched itself, - somehow, even though there was nothing to push off - upwards, drawing a blackened axe from inside his robes. Matthew rolled, it was the only thing he could do. He'd never planned on fighting the Black God, and now he was being forced to. Nothing any of the priests or teachers had ever taught him anything about Gods, except that they could control what happened, _always reassuring to know! _Matthew thought. The black axe seemed to lengthen and scratched his face. There was a flash of purple light somewhere above them and Matthew looked up.

"Go away Lioness! This is no business of yours!" the God roared, Matthew looked at him and frowned, seeing the God lift his arm, draped in a black cloth, and cover his face. Matthew almost smiled, but then something hit him in the gut and he was thrown backwards into an invisible wall. He groaned and choked, a mouthful of much needed blood erupting from his mouth. He looked up and found the purple light had disappeared and the Black God had lowered his arm and was now advancing again. Matthew stood and let his arms hang by his side. When the God was only metres away, Matthew gritted his teeth and focused hard on erupting into flame. Instantly, flames sprouted all over his body, shining out in the darkness. The God roared and dropped his axe, bringing up his arms to cover his face.

"Not much like a God are you? Scared of fire?" Matthew panted. He brought his right hand up and forced a globe of flame out, launching it at the God and letting fire enfold his robes. The God yelped, almost like a puppy. Matthew smiled. "You'd think a guy who takes people into death would be alright with a little fire really, wouldn't you? I guess not. . . " he stopped as a bright white light appeared above them and they were sucked in. Matthew landed on a wooden floor and groaned as his body protested again.

"Brother, what is going on that causes such a disturbance in our realms?" it was a womans voice, but Matthew thought it sounded empty. He lifted his head off the floor to see one woman and one man, standing in front of the Black God. The man was black, with cropped hair. The woman had pale skin and black hair. Matthew gulped. He was somewhere with the three most well known and feared Gods. Mithros, the Black God and the Goddess. He struggled to raise himself to his knees, but Mithros turned to him.

"Stay still, its amazing what a joust with the Lord of Goldenlake can do to you." Matthew thought of disobeying, then decided against it. Instead he lay back down.

"If I'd had a choice I wouldn't have done it . . ." he trailed off. He was not sure how best to address a God, he could hardly say Mithros, it would sound as though he were addressing an old friend.

"You did have a choice, now shush whilst we talk with our brother." The Goddess spoke and held a finger to her lips. Matthew sighed, then shivered with the cold. He managed to roll onto his side, then felt something rub his hand. He looked down, but there was nothing there. He frowned, then shivered again as he felt a cold draft on his back and side. Several minutes later, something seemed to wrap around him, as though someone was holding him, warmth wrapped around him. He felt a wet patch on his shoulder and looked to find the source. There was nothing. He decided he was hallucinating, and waited for the Gods to finish. After what felt like hours, the three Gods turned to look at him. Matthew avoided the eyes of Mithros and the Goddess and looked at the Black God, finding himself itching to find out how the God saw or spoke with no face. He looked up from the floor, not wanting to break the silence, but feeling stupid just lying there.

"So whatsgoing on?" Matthew askedcarefully, closing his eyes in case one ofthe Gods decided toglare at him or worse.

"Thats a very goodquestion mortal."the Black Godgrowled, for a second it remindedMatthew of Raoul in a strange andoddly comforting kind of way."Since when have you been a Pyro?"

Matthew stared. "You didn't know?" he blurted it out more sarcastically than had been intended. He shook his head. "About two months . . . I think. Something like that."

The Gods and Goddess stared at him. Then the Goddess spoke. "And are we right in suspecting that Raoul of Goldenlake's daughter is your soul mate?"

Matthew shrugged, trying not to think of Ivy and trying not to wonder if he would ever see her again. "That's what I've been told."

The Goddess nodded. "Was that the reason for your joust with the Lord of Goldenlake?"

Matthew nodded, then asked. "How can you not know these things? I thought you knew everything?"

Mithros smiled, though Matthew wondered if he had meant it to be a grimace, for the way his mouth twitched into the position looked somehow unnatural. "Sometimes lesser Gods shield things from us so that we cannot see things. I suspect that this was the work Pyroma, Goddess of Fire and Love. She has been unheard of or from for five hundred years. I'm sure she will be delighted to visit us."

Matthew frowned. Numair hadn't mentioned a Goddess of Fire and Love, and Numair knew of most unknown things. He grinned then stood up groaning in pain. "Do I get to go back?" he asked, leaning against a wall. Mithros nodded.

"Unless Pyroma has a particular objection, you will go back to your mortal life and your mortal lover."

Matthew sighed with relief, then looked at him. "Lover?"

"Of course. You don't expect to be able to keep yourself controlled for eternity now do you? I would hazard a guess at two weeks from the day you return." Mithros smiled and disappeared along with the Black God. The Goddess stayed, explaining. "Pyroma has been known to be rather possessive of rareitys such as yourself. As her sister, I may have some influence."

Matthew frowned and tried to smile. "Ok. . ." he said. There was a flare of light from the corner and a tall shapely blonde woman appeared. Matthew stared at her hands. Each finger played host to a ring set with a diamond heart, containing fire. Pyroma smiled at him.

"Pretty aren't they?" she said, then walked over and placed her hands on the sides of his face. She looked into his eyes. "Very handsome aren't you?" she said. Matthew gulped, slightly disturbed by being flirted with by a Goddess. "Most Pyros in the past have been very ugly, always slightly disappointing really, so I've had to fix them up with very beautiful women to make up for it." she smiled. "Now you, you get a beautiful woman, and she gets a lovely handsome man. Isn't it lovely?" Matthew nodded.

"Erm . . . yeah, its great." he said, "so when do I get to go home?"

Pyroma stepped back. "Soon, but there's no hurry is there? I trust you are coming to terms with your powers by now, yes?"

Matthew nodded, then looked at the ring, thinking. "How'd you make them . . ?"

Pyroma smiled. "Easily. All pyros are capable of encasing fire in an object. These were a present from the first Pyro, I was his soul mate, he wasn't mine but . . . " she smiled. "All you need is something to encase it in, then you just press your fiery finger to it, and get lovely trinket."

"Its that easy?" Matthew asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes, for someone who almost torched the Black God, it should be as easy as taking sugar from a baby." Pyroma smiled at him.

Matthew frowned. "No disrespect, but try taking candy from a baby and they scream, its not too helpful when you're trying to do it quietly."

Pyroma paused then nodded. "I suppose mortal babies are a bigger pain aren't they? Oh well, it seems as though someone wants you to go back . . ." she smiled. "Your beautiful young lady if I'm right."

Matthew smiled and bowed to Pyroma and then to the Goddess. "Thank you." he said.

Pyroma smiled once more, "do make sure you don't overdo it for at least a few days. You might not want to use your magic, it could make you very ill." Matthew nodded.

"Yes my lady." he bowed, then gasped as he fell backwards. _Not exactly what I was expecting. _Matthew thought as he hit something hard and groaned, "Fucking hell!"

Ivy woke up when she heard a door open. She gently pulled herself away from Matthews now much warmer body to look round. She instantly turned back. Raoul hesitated then walked over. "How is he?" he asked, pulling a chair up next to the bed.

"Why do you want to know? So you know if you should kill him now?" Ivy looked back at Matthew and instinctively brushed the hair away from his face.

"I just came to see how he was . . ." Raoul started. He looked at his daughter, then sighed. "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much, but I am. I didn't mean to get so carried away, but you know how I am, I don't like to think of you growing up. To be honest, it scares me. I don't know what's going to happen to you, I don't even know who you are sometimes. In two months you've gone from being my little girl to being a woman, and I missed it." he took a deep breath. "I thought if I let any man have you, I'd lose you and you'd never speak to me again. I thought he'd hurt you and mess you up." he sighed. "Most fathers are like this you know? Maybe I'm worse than most of them, but they are like this." He stood and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I never meant for any of this to happen. When I thought about you growing up, I always left out the chapter where you got married. I thought you'd be single all your life." he managed a smile. "I don't know why I thought that, especially not when you're so beautiful." He took his hand away. "If he makes it through this, I won't interfere anymore . . . or I'll try not to." He turned and walked towards the door.

"Dad, wait!" Ivy said. Raoul turned, and Ivy ran over to him, throwing herself into his arms and crying. Raoul stared at his sobbing daughter for several seconds, then hugged her tight. Ivy continued to cry. She hadn't forgiven him. She wasn't sure she ever could, but she needed him, and he was there. Finally she let go and wiped her eyes on her shirt hem. "Can you stay? Please?" Raoul nodded, and draped an arm over her shoulder, kissing her forehead. Ivy sat on the bed, holding Matthews hand in hers, while Raoul sat on the chair, trying not to look at the young mans face, knowing that guilt would instantly take over.

"Fucking hell!" Raoul and Ivy both immediately stared at Matthew, who lay on the bed groaning in pain. "Damned Gods!" Matthew groaned. His eyes opened and he blinked. Ivy froze, then threw herself onto him, hugging him tight. Matthew gasped in pain, but wrapped his arms round her and hugged her back just as hard. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed again. Matthew tilted her head up to look at him, shifting slightly to stop himself lying on his cut, and smiled at her. Ivy immediately began kissing his face, wanting nothing more than to melt into him, and never take her mouth away. Matthew took a deep breath through his nose, then kissed her back, finding her mouth and sucking her lips tight. A slight cough re-alerted Ivy to Raoul's presence, Matthew heard nothing, and as soon as she pulled away he pulled her back, loving how she felt on top of him. Ivy gently eased her mouth away and sat up. Matthew went to say something, then saw Raoul and let go of her. Raoul shook his head.

"I give up Tirragen, I lost that fight. You can court my daughter, but if you mistreat her in any way, then Gods be my witness I'll pummel you."

Matthew stared at Raoul in confusion, amazed that he had let up so easily. He said nothing until Ivy nudged him gently with her finger. He shook his head. "Erm . . . thanks," he said. He sat up with difficulty, then added, "I won't mistreat her." He hesitantly offered a hand, wondering if a knife would suddenly appear in Raoul's hand and if he would try and stab it through Matthews chest. Raoul reached out and clasped Matthews' wrist firmly, shaking it before pulling back and standing.

"You two should probably be alone." he said. He kissed Ivy's cheek, then resting a hand on Matthews shoulder. "If it counts for anything, though I'm not sure that it does, I'm sorry. I was scared of losing my daughter to someone I didn't trust." he took a deep breath. "I can see now I'm only gaining from this." Matthew smiled at him and grasped his hand briefly.

"You're not the only one." he said. Raoul managed a small smile before leaving. As soon as the door closed, Ivy threw herself back down onto him and kissed his neck.

"Ouch!" Matthew groaned. "Easy, big stab wound!"

"Sorry!" Ivy said. She went to get up, but was pulled back down onto him. She smiled as Matthew looked into her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but Matthews' lips covered hers and his tongue slid in to meet her own. After several long minutes of kissing and touching, Matthew pulled his mouth away, exhausted. Ivy lay down on his chest and sighed. "I was so scared." she whispered.

"Of what?" Matthew asked quietly, breathing in deep gulps of air.

"Losing you." she looked up at him. "I would have died." she said. "If I'd lost you, I'd have died."

Matthew hugged her tight against him. "I'd have died too." he grinned. "I'd have died when I was already dead."

Ivy gave him a watery grin, then kissed his cheek. "I love you!" she whispered.

Matthew pulled her up towards his face and kissed her nose. "I love you more." he said. "You're the best thing that could ever happen to me." he stroked her hair and rested his chin on her head. Looking at the small wooden table beside the bed, he saw a block of diamond. It had to be worth thousands of gold nobles. He grinned slightly as a voice sounded in his head. "Make sure you don't use too much, or you'll smash it!" H e suppressed a chuckle and sent a silent prayer of thanks to Pyroma.

"Why are the Gods damned?" Ivy asked thoughtfully.

**Idon't know how good this was, you might think its random and completely unnecessary, so I will need you to tell me so I can delete it if I need to redo it **.**Same rules apply as with the last chapter, I can't update without hmm . . . 7 reviews? Yeah we'll go with that, and I know there's no cliffies here, so you're not all hanging off your seats in fear, but if you want to read any more, then you need to review. Oh just so you know, Pyroma's made up, though I think most of you probs already knew that, but anyways. Please review, I got six last time, so we're aiming for seven. GET REVIEWING PEOPLE!**


	15. Diamonds and Questions

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Right people, thanks for all your reviewing, to whoever 'Like I'd tell you' is, I'd just like to say, that I wouldn't actually of minded if you had told me. Am I the only person who actually likes criticism? But, I would like to point out, that they have hardly been together more than three days, you don't generally fight so soon, but thanks for that review anyway, you haven't read the rest of the story yet, but I'm not making them argue right now, I mean, come on, he's just fought the Black God to be able to go back and live with her, I don't think he'd do that just to go and argue with her as soon as he got back. Oh well, its nice to know your opinion :) Please review again and criticise me, I love criticism as long as its constructive!**

**Oh, on the last chapter I accidentally deleted a comment at the beginning, so to 'aroundtheworld' cheers for the review of chapter 13, best review I've ever had :) **

**But anyways! I think I've blabbered on long enough, don't you? So here it is, the next chapter! Enjoy!**

Matthew left the infirmary two days later supported by Ivy and, quite surprisingly, Raoul, who seemed to be intent on making up for the wound in Matthews back. Matthew had been wary of him for the past two days, even when Raoul had come to visit, Matthew had tried to avoid letting Raoul get too close to him, although he was beginning to realize that Raoul may have been deadly serious when he had said he was sorry. When they had got to Matthews room, Raoul left and let Ivy support him into the bedroom and help him lie down. Matthew smiled at her. "You'd think after two days lying in bed I'd be jumping around wouldn't you? But no, I'm lying here weak as a kitten."

Ivy smiled and kissed his nose. "You're my weak little kitten. And I'm staying until you get better."

Matthew put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her to him, cradling the back of her head as he kissed her deeply. "What did I do to deserve you?" he whispered when he pulled away.

Ivy snuggled against him and sighed. "You deserve ten times better than me." she yawned and rested her head on his chest.

Matthew let it rest there and stroked her hair. "Its not possible to get better than you." he grinned. "You know we sound like a loved up married couple right?" Ivy nodded and rubbed her nose on his chest, breathing gently down his shirt. Matthew looked down at her, then placed his hands on her waist and rolled her over so that he could lie on top of her. He bent his head down, capturing her lips in between his. Ivy sighed and let him coax open her mouth. He rolled onto his back pulling her on top of him. Gently, he slid his right hand down her back, slipping it into her breeches and gently caressing her buttocks. Ivy gasped slightly, then relaxed, enjoying the caress and the warmth of his hand. Matthew took his mouth away and began to kiss his way down her neck. His left hand slid under the fabric of her shirt to unclasp her breastband. Ivy sighed and began unbuttoning his shirt, feeling his hard muscles underneath it. Matthew rolled onto his side, bringing her with him so that both of their heads rested on the pillow, then removed his hand from within her breeches and unbuttoned her shirt, sliding it off her skin like silk, then slipping the breastband off and discarding it along with the shirt. Ivy gently eased his shirt from his chest, not wanting to rub his wound. Matthew said nothing, but continued to kiss her collarbone, pressing his chest to her breasts, trying not to think about the lump forming in his breeches. He flicked his tongue over her skin, smiling when he heard her moan.

"Matthew?" Numair called, knocking on the door. Ivy ran through to her room, this time picking up all of her discarded clothes. Matthew watched her go with regret, then sat up.

"Yeah?" The door opened and Numair walked in, dressed in a black shirt and breeches.

"I just came to see how you were. Alanna told me about your run in with the Black God. I have to admit its not just concern that brings me here, but also interest."

Matthew smiled. "I've got something else you might be interested in too, but I think I'll save it for a while, I need a favour, if you can manage it."

Numair frowned. "That'll depend on the favour you want, won't it?" Matthew nodded, and leant over the side of the bed to find the block of diamond he had managed to get out of the infirmary without Ivy seeing. Numair stared at it. "How'd you get that?"

Matthew sighed. "Long story cut short, I got it from a Goddess."

Numair raised an eyebrow. "Which Goddess?"

"Pyroma, but can you . . . " Matthew was interrupted.

"Who's Pyroma?" Numair said.

"She's the thing I thought you might be interested in, but listen, can you get that carved into a heart shape, a little one to go on a chain?" Matthew said it quietly.

"Well, yes but . . ." Numair started but Matthew shook his head.

"Come back later and I'll explain it then, Ivy's going to see Raoul and Buri. Will you be able to do it by then?"

Numair nodded. "What's it for?" he asked, taking the block in his hand and putting it in his pocket.

"Ivy's birthdays next week, I'll explain later." he smiled and sat back in the bed. "I owe you one."

Numair sighed. "I'll see you later, and I'll be asking about your fight with the Black God too!" he walked over to the door and left. Ivy entered again soon afterwards, reclothed.

"What did Numair want?" she asked.

"Just seeing how I was," Matthew said. Ivy shrugged, then walked over to sit on the bed. Matthew wrapped his arms round her and kissed her cheek. "You got dressed." he said, a little disappointed.

Ivy nodded. "We always get interrupted." she said, lying back on the pillows.

Matthew sighed thoughtfully, "I could always put a do not disturb sign on the door.. . " he said slowly. Ivy smiled but shook her head.

"Its not just that . . ." she said, she hesitated and looked up at him, she relaxed when she saw the calm, loving look in his eye and carried on, "I don't know if I'm ready yet. I'm sorry." she whispered. She looked down to avoid seeing his reaction. She expected him to let go of her and move away, but instead he shifted her onto his knee, kissing her ear.

"Its fine," he murmured into her ear. "I understand." he lifted her hair from her shoulder and kissed her neck. "Remember what I said the other day?" Ivy started to shake her head, then nodded slowly. "What did I say?" he said quietly.

"You wouldn't force me!" She looked at him and wrapped her arms round his neck. "I'm sorry." she whispered. Matthew sighed and kissed her eyelids.

"Don't be." he lay her down next to him. "Just tell me when you're ready, ok?" Ivy nodded and lay her head on his arm.

Ivy left Matthew minutes before Numair came. He had a pouch attached to his belt, which he unclipped and dropped into Matthews hands. "I didn't know how big you wanted it, so I made lots of them, don't worry, there's still most of the block left."

Matthew carefully emptied the bag onto the bed and gasped. Numair had made ten different sized hearts, varying from small enough to be set on a ring, to large enough to be the pendant of a necklace. Some were thick, others were very thin. Matthew picked up thinnest pendant sized heart. "Thanks Numair!"

"So, what are you planning to do with it?" Numair asked. "I take it you're not just putting it on a necklace?"

Matthew shook his head, and lifted the index finger of his right hand. Fire gathered at the end of his finger and he held it to the diamond. Instantly the fire went into the centre and glittered a soft orange. Matthew stared. "That was so . . . easy." Numair held out a hand.

"May I?" he asked. Matthew shrugged and handed it over.

Numair gasped. "Shit! That's hot!"

Matthew frowned. "Is it?" he took it back. "It feels fine to me." He held it out again.

"You're used to bloody heat, you burn your whole body up and don't even sweat!" Numair said, shoving the two fingers that had touched the diamond in his mouth. Matthew grinned.

"I sweat, but I won't go into that. You wanted to know about my stupid day with the Gods right?"

Numair left an hour and a half later, after having exhausted the subject of Pyroma and the Black God. Matthew had given him the other nine diamond hearts as a thank you before he left. "Give them to Daine or something." Matthew had said when Numair objected. As soon as Numair left, Matthew got up and hid the pendant in his drawer, putting spells on it to stop Ivy finding it. Suddenly he felt weak and lay down on the bed, regretting using his Gift so soon. He fell asleep before Ivy got back.

Ivy got back to find Matthew sleeping on his bed, she smiled and crept quietly over to the bed to lay down next to him. After planting a soft kiss on his lips, she edged slowly closer, warming herself up by pressing herself to him. She looked up in his face and smiled. He'd been so understanding earlier, she was beginning to wonder if he was real. She tried not to think about what would have happened if Numair hadn't interrupted when he had. She knew she wouldn't have stopped Matthew, which could have meant getting pregnant and losing any respect that she had. All women who had children outside of marriage were considered whores, she didn't want to be one of them. Ivy wondered for a second what Matthew would have done, if he would have stayed by her and helped her raise it. For a brief second, an image of Ivy and Matthew holding a baby together, curled up on a bed, crossed her mind. She shoved it away viciously, hating herself for thinking about having a family. She was going to be a female knight, not a housewife. Ivy continued to lay there, but the image kept coming back whenever she looked at Matthew. Eventually she gave up, kissed his cheek, and walked into her own room, deciding that she needed to be away from him to be able to stop thinking about their possible family. For the first time in what felt like years, Ivy slept alone.

Matthew was disappointed to find Ivy not lying next to him when he awoke. He sighed and draped his legs over the side of the bed, yawning and burying his face in his hands, feeling tired and worn out. He slowly stood and stretched, relief swimming through him when he realized he could still stand. He took his shirt off, then used the cold water in the basin next to his bed to wash himself, before putting on fresh clothes. Ivy walked in just as he pulled on his shirt and he smiled at her. "Where were you this morning?" he said, finishing buttoning his shirt up and walking over to her.

"In there." Ivy said, nodding towards her own room.

"Why weren't you in here?" he murmured. He bent to kiss her cheek and nose. "I missed you!"

"You needed the sleep, I didn't want to wake you." Ivy lied. Matthew noted the slight indentation of her lip where her teeth had dug in but that she was trying to hide.

"I wouldn't have minded if you had woken me, I mean, there's no harm in seeing your girlfriend when you wake up, is there?" he kissed the corner of her mouth and flicked his tongue over it. Ivy moved her mouth to meet his and opened it. Matthews tongue traced her lips, then he jerked away. "There's nobody else is there?" he asked playfully.

"What?" Ivy gasped, not catching onto the joke. "How could you . . ?"

Matthew chuckled and covered her mouth with a hand. "Calm down honey, I'm joking!" he grinned and kissed her forehead, before pressing his head to hers. "I know you can't resist my good looks and charm!" he stuck his tongue out at her as she slapped his chest.

"You're full of yourself today." she said, moving away. Matthews arms wrapped around her waist and he swung her up into his arms. She struggled playfully, but Matthew held her tight. Laying her down on the bed, he began to kiss his way from her neck to her wrist. Ivy giggled and writhed under him. Matthew shook his head and held her still.

"No, no, no!" He pinned her arms down and kissed her warmly on the face. "Are you trying to say you _can _resist my charms now?" he asked. Ivy nodded. "And my good looks?" Matthew said slowly. Ivy nodded again. Matthew grinned and let go of her. "Well in that case . . ." He sat at the end of the bed and undid his shirt, taking it off and carelessly throwing it in her direction. He got up and walked to the basin beside the bed, splashing his head with water. Matthew knelt down next to the bed and grinned at Ivy. "Can you do my hair for me?" he asked. Ivy sighed and sat round, putting her hands in his wet hair.

"How'd you want it?" she asked, stiffening slightly when Matthew put his hands on her thighs.

"You choose," Matthew said, leaning in and kissing her neck through the V of her shirt. She bit her lip to stop a sigh erupting from her lips, then began running her fingers through his hair, making it slightly messy, but attractively so." If I didn't know better I'd say you were enjoying this." Matthew murmured, eyes half closed.

"And you'd be wrong!" Ivy insisted, but her voice rose slightly when Matthew began making circles with his thumbs on her inner thighs. "Stop that!" she scolded, lifting his head to look at him.

Matthew grinned. "Stop what?" He said innocently, continuing with his ministrations.

"That!" Ivy said, removing her hands from his hair and grabbing his wrists to place them on the bed. Matthew raised an eyebrow.

"You're not having trouble resisting me are you?" he said, a grin tugging at his lips.

"No, I am not having trouble resisting you!" once again her voice tremored slightly. Matthew grinned.

"Good," he said, then smiled," but I'm having trouble resisting you . . ." he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto him, letting her straddle him with her legs. He pressed his lips to hers, ravishing on the taste of her mouth. Ivy sighed into his mouth, forcing herself to smile. She pulled away.

"You win this time!" she told him. "But next time. . ." she was cut off as Matthew lifted her and pressed her against the bed, tenderly nipping at her ear and forcing a moan from her lips.

"Admit it . . ." Matthew whispered.

"Admit what?" Ivy gasped as his hand found her left breast.

"That you can't resist me." he said quietly.

Ivy gave a shuddering gasp when he began to rub her nipple with his thumb through the fabric of her shirt. "I . . . admit . . ." she managed.

Matthew smiled wickedly at her. "Not good enough. I want the whole sentence."

Ivy moaned, "I admit . . . I can't . . .resist you!"

A grin spread across Matthews face. "Good." he leant down to her ear again and whispered, "I love you."

Ivy smiled and wrapped her arms around his back. "I love you too!" she whispered into his ear.

Matthew found it increasingly difficult over the next few weeks to control himself. Every night their hands seemed to caress other, less explored, parts of their bodies. Matthew found himself avoiding touching anywhere except her stomach and back, scared that if he heard her moan he would lose all control and throw himself on her. The night before her birthday, Ivy went to see Raoul and Buri, leaving Matthew to sit in his room. Almost as soon as she had left, Matthew let the spells on the drawer down and opened it, taking the pendant out. He looked at it for several seconds, a little surprised that the fire was still there. He shook his head and drew the silver chain he had bought earlier out of his office, slipping the chain through the circle of silver that hung through the hole he had made in the diamond. He lay it on the bed and bit his lip, hesitating and wondering if he should do what he planned. He didn't want them both to get carried away and get her pregnant. He drew in a deep breath, then called on his gift, planting an anti-pregnancy charm on the pendant. He watched as he let his magic sink into it. He gulped, wondering if Ivy would be mad if she found out. _I won't tell her unless she asks, _he reasoned. Matthew picked the necklace up and put it into a black box and mounted it on a black velvet cushion. He looked at it for a second the snapped the box shut and put it away. He stood up and left the room to find Jonathan, he needed to know something. . .

Ivy sat next to her mother and father on their bed, listening to Raoul talking about her third birthday when she had picked up her fathers knife and started swinging it around over her head. Ivy had heard it many times before, but it still made her smile. When he had finished, Ivy stood up. "I should go!" she yawned. "Night!" she kissed both her mother and father on the cheek before leaving. On her walk back to her rooms, she began to think about Matthew, wondering what he would do if she told him she was ready to lose her virginity. She had been considering it for the last two weeks, even earlier that afternoon, she had thought about letting him take off her breeches, but then he had pulled away from her and gone to get a drink. Now she wondered what he would be like, whether he would be gentle with her . . . the thought stayed with her for the whole of the walk back to the room. When she found Matthew was not there, she sighed and went to find a maid and ask for a bath. When it was ready, she sank into it and sighed, wondering where Matthew was.

"So I can still be her Knight Master?" Matthew asked. He was sat in the Kings private study, a glass of wine held in his hand.

Jonathan nodded. "As long as you still get her to do her duties and you don't let it take over your lives, then I see no reason why the two of you should not continue to be Knight-Master and Squire. Of course, you'll have to avoid too much walking around holding hands and the like in public, it wouldn't do to have other people reporting. . . improper behaviour." He raised an eyebrow.

Matthew grinned. "I understand."

Jonathan paused, then said, "I presume if you decide to sleep together, then you'll take care of ensuring she is protected?"

Matthew nodded and looked down. "Its sorted." he said.

Jonathan looked at him quizzically. "Do you mean to say that you are already sleeping together?"

Matthew shook his head. "No Sire, but I've sorted out a charm in case we get . . . carried away."

"In that case, you seem to be organized enough. I'll see you tomorrow."

Matthew looked up. "What?"

"Raoul has taken it on himself to organize her fifteenth birthday party, you'll be meeting your future in-laws." Jonathan grinned and stood. Matthew stayed sat. Jonathan looked at him. "Is everything alright?"

Matthew sighed and gripped his glass harder, it smashed in his hand and he swore. Jonathan waved his hand and the glass and its contents flew back together. Matthew looked at him, gulped then spoke. "Sire, when I was in between life and death, the Black God said I was earlier than expected and that I was meant to make it until the day of Ivys ordeal." he bit his lip then continued. "Me and Ivy aren't going to be married, I'll be dead before she's ready." He looked up. "You're the first person I've told."

Jonathan looked at him, then sat down again. "Matthew, has anyone ever told you about when I caught the sweating sickness?" Matthew nodded. Jonathan smiled. "Alanna saved me from entering the Black Gods realm, but before she came, the Black God told me I wasn't going to live to be twenty and that I'd die in the Scanran war." he grinned. "Do I look dead to you?"

Matthew frowned, then shook his head. "But, what if he just changed his mind? I mean, your parents, Gods bless them, both died, he probably knew about them so he could hardly leave Tortall without a ruler could he?"

Jonathan shrugged. "If you think about it, when my parents died, Roger was alive again, so Tortall would have had a ruler if I had died." He stood and walked around the table, resting a hand on Matthews shoulder. "I cannot promise that the Black God got it wrong, I'd be a fool if I did, but I hope with all my heart that you don't die until you're an old man like Myles of Olau. Tortall needs you and Ivy needs you. But Matthew, if you're not sure, you shouldn't be here with me, you should be spending any minute you can with Ivy."

Matthew smiled up at him and stood. "Thank you Majesty." he bowed. To his surprise Jonathan stopped him bowing.

"You're not just a Knight Matthew. You are as good as a member of Ivy's family, which means you're a member of my family. My relatives don't bow to me when we're not in public, so neither should you." he smiled at Matthew and left.

Matthew stared. Several minutes later he frowned. "Ivy has some strange relatives." he grinned and ran back to his room. Jonathan was right, he didn't want to waste time being apart from Ivy, especially not if he only had three years left.

**Yes. I'm not too sure about this chapter myself, what do you think? Ah well, tell me using that little button thingy VVVVV down there somewhere! See you all soon. **

**Mage of the Heart **


	16. Of Presents, Parties and Pleasure

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters **

Ivy was still asleep when Matthew woke up the next morning. He carefully slipped out of the bed and dressed, leaving the room in silence. He went to the practice courts, wanting to practice his sword work before she woke up, he didn't want to be apart from her on her birthday! After an hours practice against three young pages trying to improve he returned to his rooms, shaking off their demands for another bout. None of them had managed to beat him, and he couldn't be bothered to spend any more time against them, it wasn't like it was important. He bathed hurriedly in the mens baths, then returned to his room, finding Ivy stirring from sleep. He grinned, watching as she stretched out and displayed her bare stomach before him. He quietly walked over, making no noise. Her eyes were still closed, she didn't notice he was there until his mouth began planting kisses on her stomach. Ivy giggled and her eyes flew open. "Stop Matthew! That tickles!"

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "My mouth tickles?" he said, pulling back briefly and frowning at her. Ivy nodded. He sighed. "Well, I suppose birthday girl can't get any birthday kisses then can she?" he grinned and stood up, yawning. "I might just go and find someone else to kiss. . ." he trailed off as Ivy jumped up and grabbed his face, pulling him to her and kissing him fiercely. He grinned and wrapped his arms round her, gently rubbing his thumbs in circles on the small of her back. She pulled back after several seconds.

"You wouldn't want to kiss someone else would you?" she asked hesitantly.

Matthew grinned and kissed her lips gently. "Of course not!" he gently rubbed his tongue over her teeth and lips, hearing her sigh in response. "Happy birthday Ivy!" he said in her ear when he pulled away. Ivy smiled and hugged him.

"Thanks." she whispered. She was disappointed when he pulled away and let go of her. She was about to complain when he shook his head.

"Don't say anything or I'll have to get rid of your pressies." he grinned. "And you wouldn't want me to get rid of them before you know what they are now would you?" he put his hand over her mouth to stop her speaking and smiled as she shook her head. "Good." he said, then kissed her forehead. "Now wait while I go and get them . . .on second thoughts, go and wait in your room." he kissed her forehead, then pushed her gently through the door.

Ivy sat waiting on her bed for several minutes, unusually excited about her birthday, even though usually she didn't make a big deal about it. She was spinning a dagger between her fingers when Matthew walked in carrying several large packages wrapped in brown paper. He handed each one to her in turn, repeating 'happy birthday' before each one. Ivy looked in awe at the sapphire encrusted chain mail, the dagger from the raven armoury, and the warm, practical riding boots. Ivy threw herself at Matthew and kissed him repeatedly. "Thank you!" she said, blushing slightly at the flustered look on Matthews face. He smiled and kissed her forehead, pulling a black box from the pocket of his breeches and handing it to her. Ivy raised an eyebrow, then opened the box. She gasped in awe at the glowing diamond necklace hung on the silver chain. "It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!" she said. Matthew smiled.

"No, you are. I tried to make it as beautiful as you, but it was just not possible!" He grinned at her and knelt down next to her, taking her hand in his. "I love you!" he said.

Ivy smiled. "I love you too!" Matthew lifted her hand to his lips, then sat down next to her.

"Can I do the honors?" he said, taking the necklace from its box. Ivy nodded and shifted slightly, lifting her curtain of coal-black hair. Matthew carefully put the necklace around Ivy's neck, kissing her collarbone as he sorted out the clasp. "Happy birthday Ivy." he murmured.

Raoul and Buri were already in the mess hall when Ivy and Matthew arrived. Buri instantly noticed the necklace and exclaimed - much too loudly - "That is the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen!" Instantly several pages looked in their direction and Matthew wished that pages had their own mess hall to go to. Ivy smiled at Matthew thensat down to serve herself some porridge with honey and cream. Matthew sighed and sat down next to her.

"I suppose that's a gift from you then is it Matthew?" Raoul said, concentrating hard on his spoon. Matthew grinned.

"No. I woke up this morning and she told me she had a secret admirer sending her expensive necklaces." His voice was plainly sarcastic, but Ivy still kicked him under the table. He mouthed the word 'ouch!' to her before serving himself far too much cream and far too little porridge. Much to Ivy and Buri's amusement, he didn't notice until he ate a large mouthful of cream. He looked down at his bowl and swore quietly. Ivy cast him small grin before wafting a spoonful of porridge under his nose.

"Do you eat cream with porridge in Tirragen? Only here it's porridge with cream!" Buri snorted at her daughters remark, even Raoul cracked a smile. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes when there's a lack of oats and the cows are milking a lot, yeah, we do!" he stuck his tongue out at her and shoveled another spoonful into his mouth. Ivy raised an eyebrow, then continued to eat. Soon they were joined by Numair, Daine, Gareth, Alanna and George.

"Here to talk to your fancy man as it happens." George explained in response to Ivy's question as to why he and Alanna were at the palace. Matthew looked up in relief - and shock, having never spoken to George before - from his bowl of cream, shoving it away and silently swearing he would never eat cream again.

"What's up?" he said, ignoring the grin on Ivy's face.

"Spidrens raided our town, any chance you could sort it out some time this week?"

Matthew nodded. "Sure. How many?"

Alanna and George exchanged a glance, then shrugged. "About fifty." they said simultaneously. Everyone at the table stared at them. It wasn't new to them that Alanna and George knew exactly what the other was thinking, but it still came as quite a shock when they spoke in exact unison.

Matthew shrugged. "I think we can manage that." he looked at Ivy, raising an eyebrow in question. She nodded and continued to eat her porridge.

George grinned. "Good." He turned to his niece. "Happy birthday by the way Ivy." Instantly the rest of the people at the table began wishing Ivy happy birthday. Matthew grinned at his blushing Squire.

"Don't you get wished happy birthday in Goldenlake Ivy? Only here it happens all the time!" Matthew narrowly avoided a swipe across the arm. Ivy glared at him, then stuck her tongue out, continuing to eat.

"So how did you manage to get the fire into that necklace Matthew?" Raoul said. The chatter that had been going on at their table stopped instantly. Matthew gulped. Of course, everyone except Raoul would know that he was a Pyro by now. Preparing himself for Raouls anger, Matthew took a deep breath and spoke. "Just, you know . . . caught on fire . . . like you do." he instantly pulled back his bowl of cream -_ rank stuff this, _he thought - and stuffed it into his mouth. He could feel Raoul and everyone else staring at him, but he continued to eat. Only when he had finished the vile bowl of cream did he realize he was going to have to look up at some point. He looked at Numair for help, but Numair shook his head and nodded to Raoul. Matthew gulped. In the end he decided to show Raoul rather than tell him. He dug in his pocket for a tiny gem sized piece of diamond and lay it on the table. Raoul stared, wondering what his daughters boyfriend was doing. Matthew focused on the end of his finger erupting in fire and instantly flame gathered around his fingertip. He placed his finger onto the diamond and the flame was instantly encased in flames. Matthew looked at Raoul.

"Numair?" Raoul said, surprisingly calm. "Please tell me this isn't why you were lecturing me on Pyros the other night?"

Numair coughed slightly, then nodded. "It is."

Raoul groaned. "By the Gods, why am I always involved with people with the Gift, the Sight or . . . that!" Matthew stared at Raoul, then stood up.

"I guess I'd better leave you to it." he leant down and kissed Ivy's cheek. "Happy birthday Ivy." he waved to everyone else. "I'll see you lot around."

As soon as he'd left Ivy stared at Raoul. "What's wrong with him being a Pyro?"

"Ivy, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Matthew . . . except for what he's been up to but that's not the point" he stood up and looked at Ivy, "the point is Pyros are dangerous. He'll lose control and burn everything and everyone nearby to a crisp and I . . . " he was interrupted by several people at once, but Numair had the loudest voice and it was he that managed to speak to Raoul.

"Matthew isn't going to lose control Raoul. He's in control now, so you don't need to be worried about Ivy's safety. And even if he did lose control which he won't, he isn't going to hurt Ivy!"

Raoul frowned. "What makes you so sure?"

Ivy gulped. Numair had obviously neglected to tell Raoul about the soul mate factor. Numair sighed. "He and Ivy .. . well they're soul mates." Raoul stared. Ivy was expecting an outburst, and was extremely surprised when he merely sat down again hard.

"Oh!" he said quietly. Obviously, Ivy was not the only one shocked by Raoul's reaction. Gareth, George, Numair, Buri and Alanna had all risen from their seats in case Raoul decided to chase after Matthew and try to skewer him again. Now they all sat down slowly. "That explains it then I suppose!" Raoul said quietly. "Ivy, go and find Matthew. Just tell him not to try and blow me to pieces please."

Ivy smiled and jumped up, running from the room to find him. The adults were quiet for several seconds, George was the first to speak. "So when's the party tonight?"

Matthew was stood in the stables with Magic when Ivy found him. She quietly hopped over the stable door and wrapped her arms around him from behind. Matthew looked round and down, then smiled. "What are you doing here?" he said in surprise. Ivy smiled up at him.

"Dad told me to come and find you sooo . . . I did!" She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Oh, and he also said to tell you not to blow him to pieces. . . please."

Matthew frowned. "You're sure he said that?" Ivy nodded. "You're not having me on?" she shook her head. Matthew grinned. "Guess I'd better come then."

"Good!" Ivy took his hand. They walked quietly back to the mess hall, dropping their hands whenever someone was within visual distance.

"So what exactly did he say after I left?"

Ivy shrugged, "well he wasn't too happy until Numair told him about us being soul mates, and then he just said 'oh' and sat down, then told me to get you back."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "He said 'oh'? That doesn't sound like the Raoul I know."

Ivy shook her head. "Doesn't sound like the Raoul any of us know. Everyone except Daine got up in case he ran after you."

Matthew thought for a second. "Why didn't Daine stand up?"

Ivy stared. "She's 7 months pregnant, how could you not have noticed?"

Matthew smiled. "Well, I don't tend to look at other women much." he looked around to check nobody was near then gently squeezed her buttocks. "I've got you after all."

Ivy giggled, then looked at him straight faced. "Don't let Dad see you doing that!" she warned.

Matthew smiled. "Why not? He seems Ok with us being soul mates so . . . " he grinned then stroked her hair from her face. "Ok I won't let him see me doing it."

Ivy nodded. "And don't let him see you stroking my face either!" Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Well this is just no fun!" he said.

Ivy smiled. "Is ickle Mattykins depwessed because Ivykins can't be seen flirting with his ickle handsomeness?"

Matthew looked shocked. "Excuse me Squire, I think that deserves some serious apologizing, don't you?"

Ivy nodded. "Possibly." Matthew pulled her into the nearest dark corner and pushed her against the wall, pressing his mouth to hers and smiling as her hands ran over hisback. His tongue thrust deep into her mouth to find hers, stroking it gently, then teasing her by running his tongue over the roof of her mouth. After several minutes Matthew pulled away and smiled at her.

"They'll be wondering where we are." he stated. Ivy sighed.

"Suppose so. But I think you just want to go and grab another bowl of cream with porridge."

Matthew smiled. "You caught me. Now I'm just going to let you walk back on your own so that I'm reunited with my gorgeous bowl of porridge faster!"

Raoul looked a Matthew carefully when he came in, then stood up. He stopped in front of Matthew. "We're having a party for Ivy later. Will you be there?" Ivy entered just at that moment to stand next to Matthew. Matthew looked at her, then nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be there." he offered a hand. Raoul shook it hesitantly. Matthew smiled. "Don't worry Raoul, I won't burn you up!"

Raoul nodded. "Make sure she wears something nice!" he looked at his daughter then walked out.

"Surprisingly calm." Numair said, walking over to them. Matthew nodded.

"I don't know what he'll be like later." he said. Ivy frowned at him.

"What are you on about?" Matthew looked at Numair, who shrugged.

"Nothing." Matthew said, deciding not to give anything away. "Your Dad just asked us to meet him later for a chat. And he wants you to dress like a woman!" Ivy shot him a dirty look.

"Dress like a woman? Yeah right!" she drawled.

Matthew smiled. "Yeah, I've got to take you out shopping for a dress, I'll have to listen to market traders blabbering on about the latest fashions, the best material, and worst of all, if its a man, the way it makes you look absolutely gorgeous!" he grinned at her. "So off we go." He grinned at Numair and gently pushed Ivy out of the door.

"You're not getting me to wear a dress!" Ivy said.

Matthew frowned. "But the night I met you you were wearing a dress and you looked amazing. If I recall correctly, I asked if you wanted a horse to ride?"

Ivy couldn't help it, she giggled. She recomposed herself. "That was then, this is now."

"Of course it is." Matthew said, whole heartedly agreeing. "And right now I think you'll look absolutely stunning in a dress!"

"Men!" Ivy said rolling her eyes. "If we tried to shove you in a dress, you'd run three miles in the opposite direction!" she grinned. "Maybe you all want breasts to show off to women!"

Matthew laughed off all of Ivy's comments about wanting to wear a dress, sarcastically explaining that he was concerned, "my bum will look too big!" Ivy roared with laughter and Matthew lead her to the market. As soon as they arrived at Lady Keladrys ex-maid Lalasa's shop, a woman began measuring both of them. Matthew froze, frowning at Ivy, who smiled and looked away. He rolled his eyes and waited until the woman had finished. He was then pulled over to the corner where he was given several pairs of loose leather breeches, then pushed behind a changing screen. He thought about not trying them on, but he found he liked the black leather pair and he pulled them on. He walked out and grinned, seeing Ivy having her bust measured and telling the woman it was too tight. The woman was apparently paying no attention. Matthew walked over. "Having trouble?" he asked innocently.

"Yes!" Ivy snapped. "Its too tight!"

The woman shook her head. "Its not too tight, unless you want to look like you're carrying a sack of potatoes in there you should let me make it tight!"

Matthew smiled and gently took the tape measure from the maids hand. "Excuse me!" He pulled it tight so that Ivy gasped slightly. "Too tight?" Ivy nodded and scowled at him. Matthew loosened it slightly, then grinned. "39 inches." he said to the maid. Ivy scowled.

"Its too tight!" she complained.

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Who are you trying to show off to? I already know how big you are." he whispered it in her ear, but the shop immediately fell silent and Matthew coughed, walking back over to the changing screen. A maid handed him a black shirt and he took it without saying anything, as well as the leather non-sleeved waistcoat. "It's all black . . ." he sighed. His Great Uncle Alex had worn black a lot. Matthews liking of the colour was another thing that made him like his Great Uncle. He put the shirt and waistcoat on then walked out. The two nearest maids clapped, the rest of them were looking somewhere else. Looking up, Matthew noticed Ivy in a long red silk, the material rose from her ankle to her knee in a diagonal, then swerved round and down again. Matthew also noticed from the look on her face that she wasn't happy. He tugged the nearest maids arm. "Any chance of getting it in blue?" The maid nodded, then hurried off behind a door.

Half an hour later, they left the shop, having bought Matthews black clothes and a blue version of the first dress. "I don't see the point in dresses!"

Matthew grinned. "I hear your Aunt Alanna was like you for a while, then she became obsessed and went wandering round the palace in a black wig and a dress on her 17th birthday."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Yes, well maybe when I'm 17 I'll be like that, but right now I'm only fifteen and I have another two years!" Matthew sighed.

"I suppose so, I'll just have to force you into wearing dresses as one of your duties. . . " The comment earned him a slap on the arm, but he merely smiled and grasped her hand pulling her into the corner for a kiss. They were interrupted by a loud shriek.

"Matthew!" A brown haired woman attempted to run over in a long plain brown dress. She failed and instead walked rather hurriedly. Ivy heard Matthew swear under his breath and shot him a questioning glance. He opened his mouth to speak when two hands found the side of his face and someone's rather disgusting tasting mouth was pressed to his. He pushed the woman away. "What's wrong Matthew?"

"Erica . . . What are you doing?" he said, spitting and throwing a mouthful of saliva at the nearest wall.

"Kissing you!" Erica said, flabbergasted.

"Why?" Matthew said, wiping his mouth.

Erica made a strange noise, then continued speaking. "I didn't need a reason two weeks ago!"

Ivy, who had stayed quiet until then spoke up. "What's she on about?" She looked at Matthew carefully.

Matthew sighed. "Erica's the woman I brought back the night before we . . . " he waved his hand. Ivy understood and shot a dirty glare at Erica.

"Oh . . ." Erica said, straightening up. "So this is your Squire? I suppose her names Ivy too?"

Ivy and Matthew exchanged a frown. "What? How'd you know that?"

"Well, you did call me Ivy several times that night. You said Ivy when you were sleeping and I saw you running after someone who looked like her when I woke up!" she looked at Matthew and slapped his face. "I never thought the man who took my virginity would be so bloody disgusting!" She walked off with her nose in the air. Matthew put a hand to his stinging face.

"Yeah right was she a virgin," he muttered under his breath. Ivy moved his hands away from his face, replacing them with her own.

"What makes you so sure?" Ivy said quietly, feeling suddenly very inexperienced and vulnerable.

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Come on, look at her. A woman who walks around like that didn't lose her virginity two weeks ago! It was gone long before that!" He sighed and took Ivy's hand. "Come on lets go." Ivy bit her lip, trying not to think about Matthew and Erica in the bed that Ivy had lain in only that morning. Matthew looked at her then shook his head. "Stop it!" He said shortly.

"Stop what?" Ivy said, shocked.

"Thinking about me and her! I love you!" he pulled her to his chest and kissed her head. Ivy stood there.

"I love you too. Sorry." she pulled away. "Come on, we need to get back."

Matthew watched as Ivy danced with her cousin Thom. He felt left out, and not just because of that. He hardly knew anyone in the room, he didn't understand what the point in him being there was. Someone sat down next to him. Numair was either extremely drunk or just very happy, and judging from the way he slumped on the table, he was drunk. "I swear to drink, I'm not the Gods!" Numair said drunkenly. Matthew smiled. He'd never imagined Numair being the type of man to get drunk.

"Oh, I'm sure you're not." he said. "In fact I think you're the only sober one here." He stood up. "I'll get Alanna to give you a hangover cure." he muttered. Someone tapped on his arm. Looking round he saw Ivy was standing next to him. He grinned and took her hand. "Found time for me now have you?" Ivy nodded.

"Yeah, I had to squeeze you in somewhere I suppose. . ." she said with a smile.

"Well, I'm glad you did . . ." he leant down and kissed Ivy's ear. "Because now, I'm not letting you go!" Ivy smiled.

"Never?" she asked.

"Never ever!" he grinned and kissed her lips gently. Someone coughed behind him. Matthew looked around.

"Do you mind if I steal my daughter for five minutes, before you never let her go?" Raoul said, a small smile on his face. Matthew faked hesitation, then grinned.

"I suppose you better had, if I can steal Buri for five minutes?"

Raoul grinned. "I suppose you better had . . . "

Matthew smiled and kissed Ivy's cheek, before heading over to Buri. "Any chance I can steal a dance with my girlfriends mother?" He asked, standing behind Buri and Alanna.

Alanna grinned. "Go on Buri, I'm going to find George now anyway."

Buri rolled her eyes. "You better not stand on my feet!" she said looking at Matthew.

"Would I ever stand on your feet? With a husband and a daughter who'd probably bite my head off I think I'd be the biggest fool alive."

After several songs dancing with Buri, Ivy walked over with Raoul. Buri smiled as she and Raoul walked over to a space a few metres away. When they were out of earshot, Matthew looked at Ivy. "Any chance I can dance with the beautiful lady now?"

Ivy smiled. "Suppose you better had!" Both of them grinned. Matthew took her hand and lead her to the middle of the room, resting one hand on her waist. Several minutes later, as Matthew rested his head on Ivy's, they were interrupted by a drunken Numair. Both of them stifled a laugh.

"Can I birthday with the dance girl?" Numair said, almost falling over.

Matthew shook his head. "Sorry Numair, you should have pinched her from Raoul." he wrapped his arms round Ivy's back. "All mine now!"

Numair shrugged. "I'll go Daine with drink." He staggered away.

"I never thought your Uncle Numair would be the kind of person to get drunk." Matthew looked down at her.

"He doesn't usually, but you should have seen him at Aly and Nawats wedding. It was hilarious." Ivy smiled.

"I bet. How olds his daughter now?" Matthew said, leaning down to kiss her nose.

"Seventeen." Ivy said. She looked over at her mother and father, then up at Matthew. "Can we go somewhere?" she asked. Matthew frowned.

"Why?" he asked.

Ivy kissed his cheek. "Because it's too loud in here and I need some fresh air!" Ivy looked at him with pleading eyes. Matthew cast Raoul and Buri a look.

"What about your Mum and Dad?" he said. "Won't they miss you?"

Ivy shook her head. "They'll leave soon anyway. Look at them. I'd give them ten minutes before they go out that door all loved up!"

Matthew smiled at her. "Alright, let's go." Ivy smiled and pulled him out of the door, leading to the palace gardens. There was a circle of rose bushes at the other side of the gardens and Ivy lead him over to them. There was a blanket laid down on the floor and candles sent a soft orange glow onto the bushes. Matthew stared at them as Ivy sat down, thinking he knew what was going on. Ivy motioned for him to sit down next to him. He sighed and joined her, sitting down and taking her in his arms. "Aren't you cold?" Matthew asked. Ivy shook her head.

"No. You're keeping me warm." she snuggled closer and kissed his cheek. "I love you Matthew."

Matthew smiled. "I love you too."

They were silent for several minutes. "Matthew . . . "

"Uhuh?" Matthew murmured.

"I want to .. ." She trailed off.

Matthew looked down at her. "You want to what?"

Ivy took in a deep breath, suddenly very nervous. "I want to. . . you know . . ?"

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "No. I don't know." He did.

Ivy looked up at him, then bit her lip. "I want you."

Matthew gulped. "You've already got me . . . "

Ivy shook her head. "I mean, I want you inside me."

Matthew drew away. "What?"

Ivy looked down. "I want us to make love." she said quietly.

Matthew stared. "You don't mean that!" he said.

Ivy looked away. "I do. Don't you want to?" she looked up to meet his eyes.

Matthew reached out to stroke her face. "Ivy . . . you know I do, but . . . I want you to be sure you're ready. I can wait! If you're not ready, then I don't want you to!"

"I am ready." Ivy said. She knelt up and kissed his lips. Matthew hesitated, then put his hands on her waist, pulling her body to his. His tongue slowly entered her mouth. He gently rolled her onto her back, leaning over her and kissing her warmly.

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly. Ivy nodded. "Here?" Matthew said. Ivy nodded again. Matthew kissed her again as her hands slid his waistcoat off, and unbuttoned his black shirt. Matthew gently eased her dress from her body, feeling her soft flesh on his hands. The cold air chilled Ivy's skin, and she shivered, pressing herself even closer to him. She hesitantly undid the lace of his breeches, never taking her mouth from his. After several minutes, they were naked, embracing. Matthews hands explored Ivy's body, stroking her thighs and breasts. Ivy merely held on to him, feeling vulnerable, yet safe. Matthew tried to ignore the feeling of dominance that rose in his chest, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. His hands continued to stroke her body, until he felt her legs spread apart.

"Matthew? Please?" Ivy's voice was soft, laden with love and desire. Matthew couldn't resist. He positioned himself above her, somehow managing to stop himself thrusting into her as hard as he could.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, stroking her face gently. Ivy bit her lip and nodded.

"I'm sure." she whispered.

Matthew hesitated. "I don't want to hurt you . . ." he said quietly. Ivy shook her head.

"You won't!" she reached up and pulled him down to kiss her. Slowly, carefully, Matthew eased himself into her, groaning with pleasure as he felt her warmth around him. Ivy gasped in pain, her nails digging gently into Matthews back. Matthew didn't care. He kissed her soothingly, calming her down. When she nodded, he continued, thrusting slowly into her body, feeling her resistance lessen with every thrust. She soon came, moaning with pleasure at the pleasing sensation he gave her. Matthew felt no urge to come, and continued. Her hips began to meet with his with every thrust, and his pace quickened. Ivy felt her release seconds before it came and began to call out his name in soft whispers. Matthew felt the first signs of a climax dawning on him. Usually, he would have waited, not caring if he made his partner feel inexperienced. Now he forced himself to release with her, lovingly stroking her body and kissing her neck. After several minutes, Matthew withdrew from her, pulling her to his chest and kissing her warmly.

"I love you." Matthew whispered stroking her damp hair.

"I love you too."

"Happy birthday Ivy," he said quietly.

"Thank you." Ivy whispered and rested her head on his slightly wet chest. After several minutes Ivy jolted up. "Shit!"

"What's wrong?" Matthew asked.

"I didn't have a pregnancy charm on! Shit! I'm dead! Dads going to . . . " Ivy's mouth was smothered by Matthews as his fingers found her necklace, dangling between her breasts.

"You were safe." Matthew murmured. "Now shh . . . just kiss me." Ivy sighed with relief and smiled at his adolescent attitude.

"Ok," she whispered, and felt his mouth claim hers once more.

**You know the drill people. At least 5 reviews! Hope you liked, if you didn't then tell me!**

**Mage of the Heart**


	17. A mans reaction to a womans monthlies

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Somethings going to happen . . .! Haha! Hate to ruin it for you! Read on oh Mighty Reviewers.**

* * *

For the next two weeks, Ivy and Matthew made love every night. Then Ivy came on for her monthlies. Matthew hadn't noticed Ivys monthlies when they had not been sleeping together, now he was definitely aware of it. The morning that she began, Matthew saw her putting a pad in her loincloth, and felt suddenly frustrated. Ivy tried to ignore Matthews obvious frustration, but it was plain. He tried to remind himself that he had managed for three weeks without sleeping with Ivy, and that five days should be a doddle. Ivy was also annoyed. She couldn't help but feel suddenly detached from Matthew. The third night of her monthlies, Matthew looked at her longingly as she entered the room, then stood up and went to leave. 

"Where are you going?" Ivy said, pausing in her steps to the drawers.

Matthew looked up. "I need some fresh air . . ." he said, faking innocence.

Ivy shrugged. "I'll come with you."

Matthew shook his head. "I'm fine, seriously."

Ivy looked at him, then grabbed his arm as he went to open the door. "Whats going on?"

"Nothing!" Matthew said.

"Right . . . so you acting so bloody depressed and leaving whenever I enter the room and not coming back until I'm in bed has nothing to do with the fact that I'm on my monthlies this week?" Ivy raised an eyebrow at him in question.

Matthew shook his head. "Of course not . . ." he started, but his mouth was dry and his voice croaky.

Ivy sat on the bed. "Come here then." she said quietly.

Matthew bit his lip. "I really need to get some fresh air!" he turned to leave.

"You know it's not my fault I'm a girl you know!" Ivy said angrily.

Matthew looked back at her. "Of course I know."

Ivy jumped up. "Then why the hell are you acting as though its my fault we can't sleep together!"

Matthew slammed the half open door. "I'm not!" he yelled.

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "Of course you aren't. Thats why you haven't touched me all week I suppose!"

Matthew hesitated. "Well . . . because you get bad stomach aches and you wouldn't want me lying on top of you and kissing you!"

"Why not?" Ivy said.

Matthew didn't answer. "You know what, you're all stressy at the moment. How about we have this conversation when you're not confused by all of these hormones?" He opened the door. "Lets make it when you're fifty instead of 15 and still so bloody immature."

The door slammed and Ivy stared at it. "Shit!" she said, sinking back onto the bed. "Our first arguement . . . and its about age and sex. This is going to be brilliant!"

Matthew rested his head on the door plaque. "Fuck." he muttered. "Doesn't look like she's the only one who's immature!"

* * *

Matthew stayed in the practice courts for the rest of the day, giving help to pages who were having difficulty using their staffs correctly. Eventually they tired and left, leaving Matthew alone. He had regretted everything he had said in the bedroom immediately, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize. His male ego told him that she should be the one coming back to him, not the other way round, and although he wanted to make things right, he couldn't find it in himself to do so, even though it was all his fault they'd argued anyway. There was a cough from somewhere nearby and Matthew looked up. He was both shocked and -it had to be said- slightly scared, to see that it was Raoul. 

"Want to explain why Ivys gone running to Buri in tearsandwhy your sitting here looking about as cheerful as a corpse? Or will I have to drag it out of you?" Raoul sat down next to him and crossed his arms, waiting.

Matthew sighed. "It was nothing . . . just a fight, thats all."

Raoul snorted. "Nothing? You call it nothing when you're both looking like a rotting pumpkin and you're not even anywhere near each other?"

Matthew shrugged. "We'll sort it out." he said it more withmuch morecertainty than he felt.

"And what about the time between now and then? You just going to sit here and teach little pages how to fight?"

Matthew shrugged again. "Might as well, have you seen how they fight recently?" he tried to joke, but his voice showed no sign of humour.

Raoul sighed. "Last time I checked they had a training master and you had a Squire who you're supposed to be soul mates with. It's not your job to teach pages to fight. Now what did you and Ivy argue about?"

Matthew grimaced. "You don't want to know!"

"Well I didn't want to know about you and Ivy to begin with, but I did, so I guess you'd better tell me!" Raoul absently brushed some dust off his breeches. "So?"

"It was stupid . . ." Matthew said. "I was annoyed and she was stressed, it was just a clash . . ."

Raoul interrupted. "Anything to do with monthlies?"

Matthew gulped, then nodded. "A little . . ."

Raoul shook his head. "Everyone gets it Matthew." he said quietly. "You've been sleeping together recently, right?" Matthew said nothing. "Matthew, Buri's had enough time to smooth my temper down. You and Ivy started sleeping together after her party, thats where you went off to isn't it?" Matthew hesitated, then nodded. "And now you're frustrated because Ivy's on her monthlies and you can't . . . well . . . repeat the . . . ritual."

Matthew almost grinned at Raouls phrasing, then nodded. "It's not just that though . . . I mean,it started like that, then she said I was blaming her for being a girl, I said she was beingimmature, and then I slammed the door and left. I didn't mean it I just. . . well I guess I'm an asshole and I blow anything good I ever have, just like my Great Uncle, I always have to screw people up." He stood up, then angrily kicked a stray practice shield.

"You aren't like Alex, Matthew. Alex wanted power, you just want a little bit of . . . " Raoul trailed off.

"Ritual?" Matthew provided, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his breeches.

Raoul smiled. ". . . ritual. Every man does at some point of his life. I still get frustrated when Buri starts her monthlies . .. although when you get older they're supposed to stop . . . "

Matthew grinned, then shook his head. "Thats not just it. I didn't want to go back and apologize, I thought she should."he sighed. "Sometimes being a girl sounds so much easier!"

Raoul laughed. "If you ever see a child being born, you won't say that ever again. The most painful looking thing I have ever or will ever see."

Matthew smiled. "I always wondered why girls had kids. I mean all that pain . . . sounds like hell."

Raoul nodded. "I think you'll find they think its worth it.You should haveseen the look on Buri's face when Ivy was born . . . never forget it." He clapped Matthew on the back."Maybe you and Ivy will have children someday."

Matthew looked away. "I doubt it . . ." he said, the Black Gods words echoing in his ears. "I don't think I'll live that long."

Raoul frowned. "What are you on about?"

Matthew shook his head. "Nothing," he said quickly, then improvised, "I just always think I'll die in my first battle."

Raoul grinned. "Well if you do, you shouldn't be standing here. What if war came a-calling next week and you hadn't made up with Ivy?"

Matthew looked up. "I'd probably kill myself." he said, then grinned. "Thanks Raoul." he grasped the older mans wrist and ran off, not noticing the look on Raouls face that suggested something bad was going to happen.

* * *

"It was nothing . . . just afight, thats all."Ivy insisted to her mother, wiping away several tears. "We'll sort it out." 

Buri sighed. "Ivy, you're crying like there's no tomorrow. It must have been a pretty big fight if you're crying even when you've sorted it out." She handed her daughter another handkerchief.

"It was nothing. It just happened so fast. I just wanted him to hold me and he wouldn't because I was on . . ."she burst into tears and buried her face in Buri's shirt.

". . . on your monthlies." Buri completed. Ivy nodded before bursting into tears again. "Ivy, he knows it isn't your fault. But what did you expect, he's a man. They like to be in control, what they don't like is not having sex. Even I and your father still have that problem and . . ."

"MUM!" Ivy gasped. "I don't want to know about yours and Dads sex life please!" She took in a deep breath. "It has to be the most stupid argument anyone could have. I mean, its not like we can't I just don't think he'd like blood on him!"

Buri grinned. "Would you really feel like it? I mean with all the stomach aches and things you get, probably not the best light exercise a girl can do in her monthlies!"

Ivy shrugged. "I'd live. I just don't see how we can argue about something so dumb!"

"Easily. You'll get used to it after a while." she smiled at her daughter. "And after a couple of years you won't sleep together as much anyway!"

Ivy shook her head. "You and Dad . . ." she shut her mouth, not wanting to draw on that subject.

Buri grinned. "Your father and I used to be like romping rabbits when we were forty, compared to then we're relatively inactive!"

"Mother! I don't want to know if you and Dad were like romping rabbits when you were forty! It's disgusting! And you're old!"

Buri stared at her daughter. "Just because I am fifty seven and your father is sixty four doesn't make me old!" **(A.N/ I'm not sure about Buri/ Raoul age difference so I kind of made it up)** She raised an eyebrow. "And old people can still have a sex life you know, but seeing as we aren't here to talk about that then maybe we should move on . . ?" Ivy nodded. There was a few seconds silence. "Did you and Matthew say anything else except that he was being moody since you came on for your monthlies?"

Ivy nodded. "I said he was blaming me for being a girl. He said I was being immature." She sighed. "I told you it was stupid."

Buri laughed. "Well you are still quite young, if you were older then you wouldn't have the 'immature' thing to deal with." She hugged her daughters shoulders. "I'd say Matthews doing quite well considering how often he used to have sex." She smiled. "He never had to deal with a woman with monthlies before did he? Nobody goes out on the pull when they're on their monthlies do they?"

Ivy shrugged. "They might."

Buri shook her head and said with certainty, "No. Now I think you need to go and talk to Matthew."

Ivy looked at her with pleading eyes. "Can't I just stay for a little longer?"

Buri shook her head. "No. Now go!" Ivy sighed and went to the door.

"You know he'll still be mad and . . ." she stopped when she saw Matthew standing behind the open door, hands in his pockets, looking like a child who had just been told off.

"I'll just be off!" Buri said, "I think I need to visit Neal at the infirmary. My backs playing up again." Ivy watched as her mother hobbled out, holding a hand to her back. When she was out of sight Matthew looked at her.

"Can I come in?" he asked, scuffing his boot on the floor asa distraction. Ivy hesitated, then nodded. She walked over to the chair without waiting for him to enter, then watched as he shut the door. "I just came to say sorry." he said quietly. "It was a stupid argument, I'm just not used to having to deal with monthlies. You know what I've been like with women in the past! I just didn't like having slept with you for two weeks straight and then being interrupted by monthlies." He bit his lip and looked down at the floor. "I never really thought about womens monthlies before I was with you, I mean, I never really had to and if anyone really got to know me after my great Uncle, I thought they'd just walk away, so I never really thought I'd have a relationship that was more than just sex for a night." He paused. "Maybe we should just call the whole thing off. . . " his voice cracked but he went on. "I don't think either of us are ready for this. Maybe if we just go on as we were . . . just friends . . ." When Ivy said nothing, he turned to leave. "Right, well I only came to tell you what I thought . . ." He opened the door and walked out. Ivy stared after him in distress.

_Why didn't you say something you stupid girl! _Ivy's mind roared. _Now he thinks you don't want him and . . . _she stopped herline of thought for a second, then bit her lip. _Now he'll go into the city and find someone else. He didn't even want you! _She wiped away the tears that now trailed down her face. _Really? _The rational and -at that precise moment- appreciated, part of her mind nagged. _Then why hadn't he broomed you before? It's hardly like he hasn't been known to before now. _Ivy sobbed. _He could be scared of Dad . . _. she almost laughed at herself. Matthew wasn't scared of Raoul. He might be wary, but he wasn'tscared. She grabbeda cushion andburied herface init_. Why are women so bloody emotional_? She thought as she left the pillow with a large circle ofwetness.

* * *

Matthew was in his room, staring blankly at the wall. He didn't know what he had been thinking. It had all just come out. He didn't really want to call it off. He was ready for this, more than he had ever been for anything. He thought about going back and saying he hadn't meant it, but Ivys silence had suggested that she didn't mind. The thought of Ivy not being bothered hadmade him feel suddenly angry. He didn't need to be bothered either. Matthew had walked purposefully towards the door, thinking that he would try and find Eliza, then he had retched, splattering several mouthfuls of liquids and foods out of his mouth into the bowl next to the door. He hadn't bothered to find a maid or get rid of it, he'd just left it. Slowly its smell had spread over his whole room. Now he smelt it, the disgusting smell winding up his nostrils and almost forcing another mouthful out every few minutes. _You've gone weak Matthew, _he told himself. _There was a time you could have five girls on the go at once and not even get a guilty conscience about it. Now you retch at the thought of being with anyone except Ivy. What's changed!_ Matthew sighed. _I love her. _he thought. _That's what's changed. I never felt like this before and now . . . _he was interrupted by a large knock on the door.

"Tirragen, open this door, before I knock it down!" Raoul's voice boomed from behind the door, and Matthew noticed that he had a thudding headache for the first time. He groaned and went to open the door, wiping away the single tear that had trickled down his cheek with his last thought. As soon as he opened the door Matthew felt two hands land on his shoulders and grip him hard. "You know I hated this relationship right from the off!" Raoul roared. "But you have gone too far! My daughter is sat sobbing her heart out over you and you don't even look bothered." Raoul shook Matthew hard for punctuation. He didn't notice the sudden green tinge of Matthews face, or the suddenly bloated cheeks. In fact, he didn't notice anything until a mouthful of what could have been porridge or soup landed on his shirt. Raoul instantly let go.

"Raoul, sorry. I really feel like shit right now, can we save this till another day?" Matthew stumbled over to the bed and collapsed, wiping the small amount of sick awayfrom his mouth.

"We cannot talk about this another day!" Raoul said, slamming the door. "Why did you finish it with Ivy?"

Matthew turned on his side so that Raoul didn't see his tears falling silently. "Niether of us were ready for it." he said quietly. "I'm too . . . well . . . and she's too innocent." He tried to discreetly lift a hand to wipe his eye. Raoul noticed.

"Really? So what game are you playing Tirragen?" Matthew noticed that, unlike earlier, Raoul was using his fief name, not his own name. He felt a sudden sinking feeling in his chest. "Bed your Squire then act like it never happened?"

Matthew bit his lip. "You don't know anything." he growled under his breath. "I didn't want to split up with her for Mithros' sake, but what was I supposed to do?" he rolled over and stood up. "She deserves better than me. She deserves someone who won't get so frustrated when she comes on for monthlies, and someone who doesn't have a past of womanising!"

"She deserves to be with the man she loves!" Raoul roared. "And for some reason unknown to myself, that person happens to be you! So get yourself back over there and sort this mess out!"

Matthew looked away. "I can't." he said. "I'm not letting her waste her life on me."

"Why don't you stop wasting your life trying to avoid it?" Raoul said quietly. "In a couple of months you might not have a life. Don't waste what you do have."

Matthew looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

Raoul looked Matthew straight in the eye. "Kaddar'sbeen overthrown." he said. "Carthak are going to start a war against Tortall."

* * *

**I don't really know whatI was thinking when I wrote this. Istarted it then left it for afew days, so feel free toflame this chapter. I have no idea how to make good arguements. Please review, cusif you think its crap then Ican get rid and make a better one (with your help of course:D) **

**Mage of the Heart**


	18. Always Going To Love You

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Thanks to all of my reviewers, love you all! blows lots 'n' lots of kisses **

**I know Raouls a bit OOC, but it's really hard to keep another persons character IN character, its so much easier with your own. . . ah well. I'll keep trying, though I have a feeling hes very out in this one!**

* * *

Matthew stared at Raoul. "How was Kaddar overthrown?" He gasped. "I thought he had ten armies at his command with his ten most trusted friends as the Generals? How the hell could he get overthrown?" 

Raoul sighed and brushed his sleeve, forgetting the sick covering it. His face contorted with disgust, and Matthew instantly threw Raoul a shirt that lay beside the bed. Raoul smiled thankfully and he changed into it, talking as he did so. "A new guy, name of Rageo. Paid all of the Generals some unearthly amount of money and now he has control of the whole of Carthak. But it's not just that. Something the guy has said has made the whole country hate Tortallans." Raoul rubbed his neck. "And it seems like Rageo has a grudge against Jonathan, he didn't even send a letter asking for a negotiation, he's just camped on our border and sent a messenger earlier saying that they're going to war against us. We would have asked more questions, but as soon as the messenger had said it, she collapsed and died."

"She?" Matthew asked. "That's not normal, its usually men isn't it?"

Raoul raised an eyebrow. "Well knights are usually men too as far as I know!"

Matthew grinned. "Sorry." he shook his head and recomposed himself. " It's just most other countries, Carthak included, don't think women can protect themselves so they wouldn't trust a woman to getthrough the Tortallan capital without getting hurt." He shrugged. "It's just odd." He paused, then went on. "What about Princess Kalasin?"

Raoul shrugged. "We don't know. Nobody's heard anything, but it doesn't look good." He sighed. "We're leaving on saturday at dawn. Sort it out with Ivy. I want to know that if I die a man's going to look after her."

Matthew gulped. "What if I die?" He felt suddenly young and scared.

Raoul stood and rested a hand on Matthews shoulder. "Then I want to know that you were on good terms with my daughter."

Matthew nodded. "And what about Ivy and the other Squires? Are they coming with us?"

Raoul shook his head. "We can't afford to lose people, we need them to become full knights before we send them out there. They'll just do duties in the Palace, help teach the Page's and practice their own weapons skills." he sighed. "Sometimes I wish Ivy had gone to the convent."

Matthew smiled. "But then who'd carry on the family tradition of famed fighters?"

Raoul hesitated, then spoke. "As long as Ivy had met you, I think I could have had a very famed fighter as a son." He turned and left. Matthew stared after him. Son of the Giantkiller? Him?

* * *

Ivy wasn't in Buri's rooms when Matthew went to find her. She wasn't in the practice courts either, or any other place that seemed obvious to Matthew. Eventually he gave up, heading to the city and planning to get as drunk as possible. He was entering the Dancing Dove when he saw Ivy sat down an alley with alook of utter depression on her face. Matthew felt a sudden sinking in his chest, knowing that he had caused it. He closed the half open door to the Inn and hesitantly walked over to her.When he was a few metres away he stopped, wondering what he wasgoing to say. When Ivy looked up at him, he bit his lip and opened his mouth repeatedly, then closed it again. Ivy looked at him with tear-filled eyes, then scrabbled to her feet and moved to run away, rubbing her shirt across her eyes to get rid of the tears.She was just about to run off when Matthew arms wrapped round her waist. 

"Hang on!" He said quietly. "I want to talk to you . . ." Ivy struggled, trying to get away, then broke down and buried her face in Matthews shirt without thinking. Matthew hesitated, then wrapped his arms round her, rocking her until she had stopped crying and shaking. He reluctantly loosened his hold on her, and looked down at her. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" he whispered. Ivy nodded and let him steer her into the Inn, to a secluded corner. Matthew went to the bar and bought them both drinks, watching her as she wiped her eyes on her shirt. He felt guilt wash over him and turned away.

"'aven't s'en y'u in 'ere la'ely Ma''y. Tha' ano'her one o' your' hear'breaks is i'?" The landlord said, motioning to Ivy in the corner of the room. Mathhew sighed and shook his head.

"No, or at least its not meant to be. . ." he shook his head again. "It doesn't matter. I need to talk to her." He picked up their drinks and walked over, setting Ivy's juice down in front of her, then slipping into the booth beside her. "Listen . . .about what I said earlier . . ."

Ivy shook her head. "Don't Matthew . . . please don't bother." she edged away from him.

"Don't what?" Matthew said flabbergasted. "Don't try and sort out a mess? Don't tell you I'm sorry? Don't . . ." He was interrupted when Ivy shook her head.

"Don't do anything!" Ivy said. "I should have remembered I was always going to be too young for you!"

Matthew put his hands on her shoulder and forced her to look at him. "You're not too young for me!" He tilted her head to look at him. "I love you alright? And all that stuff earlier was stupid, I didn't mean any of it! I don't want to be just friends!"

Ivy shook her head. "I'm too immature, thats what you said. And you were right. I am. We should just be friends." she got up to leave wiping her eyes and trying not to show her sadness. Matthew grabbed her hand and pulled her back down.

"What do I have to do?" he asked. "Just tell me and I'll do it alright. I don't care what it is just . . .please?" his eyes pleaded with her. Ivy shook her arm, trying to shake him off, but his gentle grip was surprisingly strong. "Ivy!" Matthew said quietly. "I'm not letting go until you tell me what I have to do!" Ivy stared at him, then sat down again, burying her face in his shoulder. Matthew was surprised, thinking that she would stay resistant, but he wrapped his arms around her anyway.

"You don't need to do anything." Ivy said between sobs. "I just keep on thinking all the stuff about us being soulmates is wrong and that you'll go out when I'm on my period and find some other woman who'll .. ." she stopped and continued to cry. Matthew rocked her.

"Don't think that." he said quietly. "It's not true. I could never cheat on you! I'm in love with you alright?" He hesitated, then kissed her forehead. Ivy's arms slid round his back and gripped his shirt. Matthew sighed and tightened his grip on her. He felt a sudden lapse of realisation that he had slept with all of the women who were presently in there. He shuddered and pulled back. "Come on, lets go back and talk there." He let go of her and slid out of the booth, offering a hand as she slid out after him. Ivy took it and wiped several tears from her eyes.

"I've never felt so girly." she muttered under her breath, sniffing slightly. Matthew chuckled and lead her to the door of the Inn, only to find that ten women who he remembered little more about than their names stood in between him and his way out.

"Who's she?" One of them said.

Another looked at Ivy. "I'd broom him now little girl, he'll only play you like he's played every other woman in this Inn. One night and you'll be out of his life for good. Never lasts much longer than a night with you does it Matty?"

Ivy frowned, nobody she knew had ever called Matthew 'Matty'. She looked at Matthew and was surprised to see a smile on his face. "Well not with any of you, no. But then again none of you were really very good, were you? And all of you were sluts." Ivy stared at Matthew, surprised by his sharp tone to women that he had once slept with. "Now if you don't mind, we have to go." He pushed the women out of the way, not letting go of Ivys hand. Ivy didn't say anything, she let him pull her through and they walked back to the palace in silence. When they got to their rooms, Matthew pulled Ivy to him and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I mean that you know, and I promise I won't get so stressed again. . . or I'll try." he leant down and kissed her lips softly, when he pulled away he went on. "I love you. No matter what happens, I'm always, always, always, going to love you." he kissed her hair tenderly. "Whatever happens, I'm not going to stop loving you. I want you to know that."

Ivy sighed and hugged him back, breathing in his scent and trying to ignore the hint in his voice that said something was wrong . . . very wrong.

* * *

**Short . . . I know, yeah, this one probably is more likely to be deleted than all the other ones, but oh well, you lot will need to tell me if you want me to delete it, and if you don't you should as well, cus if loads of people do and nobody says that they don't its byebye to chappie 18! **

**Mage Of The Heart **


	19. The General

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Thanks to anonymous 'cool story' for that GINORMOUS review lol. I'll try not to put stuff like 'shit' in it any more lol but I'm just such a modern person! Oh and the sticking together thingy: - I upload a blank doc. each chap and just write/save on internet so i can access on all computers, but when I save it some of the words stick together . . . annoying little poop, even when i go through it they JUMP back together but HEY thanks for the review!**

* * *

She wasn't sure if it was the noise of movement in the corridors that woke her, or the feel of Matthew stirring beside her, but Ivy woke up to hear feet thundering down the corridor and shouts of "get up you lazy bastards, we're at war!" in her ears. Ivy stared at Matthews face, noting that he didn't seem at all shocked. Had he known? She was about to ask him when he pressed his lips to hers. 

"I have to go down to the throne room. I'll be back soon." he said it quietly, but Ivy thought she heard a slight shake in his voice. He was dressed and out of the room very quickly, leaving Ivy lying down in confusion and fear. War? Tortall hadn't had any disagreements or threats of late, yet now they were at war, without so much as a warning? No. The people in the corridors had been mistaken, there was no way that Tortall was at war. Since the Scanran war there hadn't been so much as a whiff of war, yet now they were all rushing down to the throne room yelling about it. They had to be mistaken! She pulled on some clothes and headed to the throne room, trying not to think about going to fight and not coming back. She intended to join the Knights in the throne room, but a strong, burly looking foot soldier held her back.

"No Pages or Squires allowed, get back to your rooms and wait for your knight-master, he'll explain the situation later." The man pushed her shoulder hard. Ivy glared at him.

"I want to go in!" she said indignantly.

"And I want a big sledgehammer to whack your oversized head into your shoulders, it doesn't appear like either of us are going to get what we want does it?" He met her gaze solidly, and Ivy realised that she was not going to get in by being stubborn. She glared at him once more, then slipped outside, intending to sneak in through the servants entrance and enter the throne room through that door. Luck was not on her side though. The door was locked and all the servants were nowhere to be seen. Ivy resisted thumping the door with her fists and instead walked sulkily back to where the foot soldier stood on the door.

"No Squires or Pages!" he replied gruffly. Ivy shrugged.

"There's no rule that says I can't wait out here. Or is there?" she sat down on the step and began tapping her foot. After about an hour she looked up at him. "Can't you just let me in sneakily? I mean, I'm going to hear all about it later anyway, my Dad is the Giantkiller and my Knight-master is sure to tell me. . ."

The foot soldier shook his head. "If they're to tell you later, then what be the point in letting you in now may I ask?"

Ivy glared at him, then stood up. "Fine, be a moody piece of stormwing dung! But ever considered why you're not in there?" She began to walk back to her rooms, only stopping to look back over her shoulder and see the soldier puzzling over why he wasn't involved. It almost made her smile. But not quite.

* * *

Matthew was stood next to Raoul in the throne room with his arms crossed over his chest. All of the Knights currently in residence and all those in a five mile radius had been summoned to the throne room, which could only mean one thing. It was serious. Matthew already had a fair idea how bad it was, and was frustrated that he would be spending most of the day in this stuffy room when he could be making up for time he would lose with Ivy. Jonathan sat on his throne, steadily explaining what was going on. Matthew noticed that the Kings voice was slightly shaky, almost as though he were nervous. He wasn't listening to the words until he heard Jonathan announcing the Generals name. 

" . . . Gavinof Stone Mountain." Jonathans words thundered in Matthews ears, as a tall, black haired man stepped out of the mass of the Knights. Matthews fists clenched. Gavin was six years older than Matthew. He had been Squire to Jonathan for two of Matthews' Page years, and he had made it his personal duty to bully every single Page he could, as long as Jonathan was nowhere to be seen. Matthew had hoped that when the Chamber had opened it would have opened on his corpse, as it had done with Joren of Stone Mountain, Gavin's uncle, however, he had been sourly disappointed. Matthew knew what it felt like to be judged by ancestors, but he had no doubt that Gavin was as much of a bully as Joren had been. Matthew bit his lip in disgust at the thought of being in the command of such a man, but knew he would have no choice. He was wondering how best to avoid getting in Gavins way when he heard his own name being called.

" . . . Matthew of Tirragen, shall be in charge of the camps defences, using his Pyrotic frequencies to help keep at bay enemies, along with Numair Salmalin."Matthew looked up at the King, wondering why in Mithros' name he had decided to tell the rest of the army that Matthew was a Pyro at that moment. There was a sudden round of hushed whispers, other Knights began to converse on where Matthew was. Raoul rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, they'll get over it soon enough. They'll all be too worried about themselves to be bothered whether you can burst into flames or not. And any that are bothered will soon see that we need you." Matthew smiled at the older man, but felt a surge of disappointment. Defence. Standing on a hill throwing balls of fire at oncoming enemies. It was all very well, but it wasn't what he had been trained for. He had been trained to fight with a sword or staff, not stand on a hill away from all action. Raoul seemed to read his thoughts. "Don't worry, you'll see plenty of fighting still." Matthew nodded, noticing Gavin eyeing him from across the room.

" . . . all Squires shall remain here at the Palace, where they will help teach Pages fighting skills and continue their studies in more depth. Only when they are full Knights will they be let out into the action." Jonathan took a swig of apple juice from his glass, then went on. "You should all go back to your families and friends and prepare yourselves for war. We leave on Saturday at dawn." Jonathan stood and left. Instantly, hundreds of Knights seemed to gather round Matthew.

" . . . is it true?"

"Are you really able to catch fire?"

"Come on Tirragen show us your flamers!" Other comments and requests met his ears, and Matthew was thankful that Raoul, Alanna, Gareth, George and Numair were there to stop anyone getting to him. Just as the men seemed to back off, Gavin stepped forward in large leather boots, loose leather breeches and a shirt.

"I always thought you had a bit of a fiery temper Tirragen." he grinned. "But isn't it true that you discover it when you're around your soulmate? Its not your Squire is it? I was planning on wooing her." Matthew launched forwards but four pairs of arms held him back. Nobody thought to hold back Raoul and within seconds, Gavin was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and being shook viciously.

"Think about touching my daughter and you won't know whats hit you, you writhing piece of dragon dung!" Gavin seemed unphased by Raouls rough treatment of him and smiled.

"Now, now Giantkiller. Don't be like that, I'm your General after all, and it's always good to be on good terms with the General isn't it? And giving me your daughter . . . " Gavin whistled, "Well lets say I might avoid putting you on latrine duty for a while!" The four pairs of hands holding Matthew gripped him tighter. Matthew shook them off roughly and walked forwards, bringing his face level with Gavins.

"Try it with her." He challenged. "I dare you! But you're about as likely to win her over as you are to be trusted and liked by every person in yourcommand." He nodded over his shoulder. "You've already made six people hate your guts. Want to try forsome more? I think the King and Queen might have something to say about you hitting on Ivy, just like the rest of her family." Matthew raised an eyebrow. "You up to it?" Gavin looked at him carefully, and at the five other menacing faces that looked at him, then smiled.

"I have better things to do with my time than play around with a wench. And all of you are on latrine duty for the first month of the war." He twisted out of Raouls grip then shoved his way through the hundreds of Knights. Matthew stared after his retreating back.

"I'm going to end up killing him!" he stated through gritted teeth.

"Not before I do!" Five voices chorused. He looked round and grinned at Raoul, Numair, Gareth - who would be going to warwith them-, Alanna and George.

"Good!" Matthew laughed. "We can spend our month of latrine duty thinking up ways to kill him. I've got a favourite at the moment though . . . drown him in his own dung. Any other brilliant ideas?" The other five laughed. The six of them walked out, trying to laugh at the idea that plagued there minds; they might not see another wednesday in the Palace ever again.

* * *

**So short, after so long! I'm so sorry about the delay, but my computer didnt want to work and it wouldnt save the file so I had to wait, however I did get alot of reviews, thanks all of you! **

**Hope you liked, but if you don't then tell me and I'll change it completely. See you all!**

**Mage of the Heart **


	20. To Family and Friendship

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Thanks to Ally and Pinky for the anonymous reviews, I wish you were all members so I could just send you a reply whenI get the review, but there we go, thats the way the cookie crumbles right? I thought about making Gavin blonde, but I decided against it, Matthews blonde, Gavins a trampy git! didn't want them to be similar, and thats not being discriminate against black haired people so you all know lol, its just the colour I made him . . . have I blabbered enough yet? **

**Lol, ok here we go!**

* * *

Matthew found Ivy in the practice courts, swinging her sword around in a silver blur. He quietly approached her from behind, then put his arms round her waist. Two nearby Pages gave him a funny look, knowing that he was Ivys knight-master. Matthew ignored them. She wouldn't be his Squire once they were at war, people might as well find out about them, and a small, typical male part of him wanted to show off to Gavin. Ivy stopped and rested her head against his shoulder, looking up and dropping her sword on the floor, it narrowly missed Matthews foot, but he ignored it and tightened his grip on her, resting his forehead against hers. The two Pages laughed. Matthew shot glares at them. "Get lost or you'll have to watch kissing as well!" he growled. They hesitated, then ran off laughing. Matthew breathed in deeply then looked down at Ivy who was looking at him with a questioning gaze. "Not now!" he said, knowing why she looked at him as she did. 

"When then?" Ivy asked. "I'll find out soon anyway."

"Later," Matthew said quietly. "Just let me hold you." he turned her round and crushed her against his chest. Ivy said nothing and hugged him back, trying not to wince at the pain of his grip. He finally let her go and bent down to kiss her, capturing her mouth with his. Ivy kissed him back and slowly tightened her grip around his back. After several minutes, she took her mouth away, resting her head on his chest and trying to blink the tears away. She noticed the slight wetness on a patch of her hair and looked up to see tears running from Matthews eyes. She instinctively buried her head in his shoulder, and let down the small barrier she had managed to keep up to stop her eyes leaking. They clung together for what may have been hours, tears falling shamelessly, mingling as their heads touched. Only when Raoul and Buri found them did they -reluctantly- pull apart and walk back inside.They walked with Ivys parents to Jonathan and Thayets chambers. Inside they found Jonathan, Thayet, Alanna, George, Gareth, Cecilia, Numair, Daine, Keladry and Dom. All five couples stood with their arms wrapped around each other.Raoul and Buri walked over next to Jonathan, hugging each other tight. Matthew took Ivys hand and pulled her to him, directing a questioning look at the other people in the room.

"It's a sad time when I have to call all of my closest friends and family into a room with me for a final drink before we head to war." Jonathan stated gravely, "tomorrow we'll all begin getting ready for this war. Raoul, Alanna, Gareth, Keladry and Matthew will all get ready to go into the front line. George will be sorting out the spying unit of our army, Daine will be flying into Scanra to try and turn as many animals on their owners as possible. Numair will be sorting out our mages, Dom will be sorting out the Kings Own so that we have an extra unit of warriors, and out wives and partners will be having perhaps the most strainful of all, sitting at home laden with worry." The others in the room all looked at each other. Ivy, Matthew noticed, was frowning,and he thought he knew why.

"Squires aren't coming Ivy." He whispered quietly in her ear. He pressed his hand into the small of her back when he felt her tense. "Don't make a scene here, I'll explain later." Ivy looked at him carefully, hesitated, then nodded and put herself in the crook of his arm. Matthew sighed and kissed her forehead as Jonathan continued to speak.

"But at least we can still enjoy one night together." he motioned to the glasses on the table in front of him. "I ask you all to take a glass and raise them in toast; to family and friendship." All of them picked up a glass.

"Family and friendship!" they murmured, then drank from their glasses. Matthew kept his arm tight around Ivy the whole time, holding her against him. Ivy didn't protest. She let him, breathing in the smell on his shirt. The other couples in the room were doing much the same. Looking around, all of them realized just how serious this war was going to be. There was no certainty that any of them would make it back to see their wives or partners. There was nothing to tell them that even if they did return there would still be a relationship left to work for. War not only killed people in battle, but if they managed to survive, it could kill their souls. A few years away could mean that they lost their partner for ever. The thought caused Matthew to put his glass down and pull Ivy to him even tighter, pressing them together. Ivys arms went around his back as she buried her face into his shirt. Matthew bent slightly and kissed Ivys forehead.

"I love you Ivy," he murmured so that only she could hear. Even so, the other couples seemed to follow suit, all embracing and whispering to each other. Within minutes, they were somehow hugging and shaking hands with every person in the room. None of them knew quite why, but there was a ripple of understanding going through the whole room. It felt somehow right to grasp arms, kiss cheeks and hug anyone in the room. But beneath the sense of friendship and warmth, there was another, lingering sense, of finality. . .

* * *

It was late by the time Ivy and Matthew arrived back at their rooms. They and Raoul remained the only half-sober people who had been in the group. The others had drunk plenty of wine, and it had resulted in several embarrassing stories slipping from mouths which were not supposed to be heard. These included Jonathans version of how Alanna had lost her virginity to him -on another occasion, it might have resulted in a slight tinge of jealousy from George, but today there was a loud laugh from everyone in the room. There was also the rather embarrassing story of Ivy threatening a foot soldier with a stone at the age of seven. The foot soldier had actually been her training master. Ivy and Matthew had taken this as their cue to leave, and had walked back to their rooms. Matthew kept his hold on her the whole night, not letting her go at all. As soon as they had entered their rooms and shut the door, he brought his mouth down on hers. She sighed and kissed him back, absently stroking his back. Matthew pulled away slowly and rested his head against hers. 

"I love you . . . " he whispered, his voice shaking as he tried to hold back more tears. Ivy couldn't trust herself to speak, she merely nodded. They kissed again, then fell backinto thebed. With her monthlies over, Ivy had no hesitation in making love to him several times, trying to show him in actions what she couldn't in words.

* * *

It was dawn on Saturday. Matthew had already left the room for breakfast, but Ivy hadn't gone. She felt sick. After today, she might never see him again . . . at least, she might not see him alive. Everytime she looked at him it brought some silly thought to mind. She had woken up to hear him relieving himself in the chamber pot, and had felt a sick realisation that she might not ever hear that noise when she woke up again. Then she had watched him get dressed, and tried to take in every inch of his body, so that she could remember what he looked like if he died. She lay in bed, hearing footsteps in the corridors and trying to block them out and tell herself it was a normal day in the palace and that there would still be hundreds of knights here later. But nothing seemed to be normal anymore. The last four days had been a blur of hurried plans. Ivy had seen little of Matthew except for in the evenings when he was too tired to talk. Ivy rolled over and focused on the window, blocking out the voices behind her door. She didn't realise that the door had opened and that Matthew had returned until his hand ran down her arm. 

"Hey." he whispered, lying down next to her and wrapping his arms around her. Ivy turned back over and smiled shakily at him.

"Hey." she managed, then rubbed her leaking eyes and snuggled into his chest."Don't go!" she whispered.

"Ivy, we've talked about this! I have to . . . I . . ." his mouth was covered by her hand.

"Say you're ill or something, go later on, just don't go yet!" Matthew looked down, not wanting to look in her eyes and see the pain and pleading in their depths.

"Me going later won't make it any easier for either of us Ivy!" he whispered and pulled her against him. "I have to go." The finality in his voice was enough to tell Ivy that even if she continued pleading, he wouldn't stay. She buried her face in his shoulder and said something into his shirt. It sounded like 'I dub doo!" but Matthew knew what it meant.

"I dub doo too!" he teased quietly. Ivys head jerked up as she grabbed a pillow and smacked his head with it. Matthew laughed and tickled her just above her hips. She squirmed as he moved to lie on top of her. "That'll teach you to whack me on the head with a pillow now won't it?" he whispered into her ear, then kissed her neck slowly. Ivy sighed and closed her eyes. After several minutes, Ivy started to speak.

"I'm going to miss you!" she whispered. Matthew stopped and pulled back.

"I'm going to miss you too!" he said. "So how about we make up for it now?" Ivy smiled and nodded, then let him press his lips to hers.

* * *

"I'll be back!" Matthew promised as he clipped his sword onto his belt. Ivy nodded and wiped her streaming eyes. A large hand rested on Ivys shoulder and she turned to see Raoul, clad in chainmail. She threw herself into his arms, just as Raouls arms went round her back, crushing her. When he pulled back he looked at her, his face shining with pride, and tears. 

"I'm so proud of you Ivy." he whispered. "You've made me the proudest father in this whole world." he kissed her forehead. "If I die out there -and I might, Ivy, I'm not as good as I used to be- I want you to know how proud I am of you, and how much I love you." Ivy nodded and stood on her tiptoes to kiss her fathers cheek.

"I love you too Dad!" she whispered. He held her for several minutes, then let her go and kissed her cheek before going back over to Buri. Matthews arm went around her shoulders and his lips went to her forehead.

"He'll be fine." he whispered, gently rubbing her shoulder. "He'll be back before you know it." Ivy nodded and turned to him. Their eyes met for a second, then his mouth was on hers, warm and reassuring.

"Mount up! You have ten minutes!" Gavin of Stone Mountains voice split the air. There was the sudden sound of hurried goodbyes, last whispers of undying love, beforethe knightsbegan to mount up. Alanna, Raoul, Kel, Dom, Gareth, Numair and George all came over to give Ivy a hug before mounting up. When they were alone in the shadow of a nearby tree, Matthew took Ivy's necklace in his fingertips.

"If I was to die .. . " Matthew started. He took a deep breath then went on. "If I die, will you still wear this?"

Ivy stared at him. "You're not going to die!" she said with the confidence she wish she felt.

"But if I did?" Matthew said quietly. "Would you?"

Ivy nodded, blinking back tears. "Of course I would." she whispered. Matthew smiled at her, then leant down to kiss her.

"I love you!" he said quietly. "I'll never stop!"

Ivy smiled shakily. "I love you too." Matthew reached out and stroked away her tears with a thumb. Ivy closed her eyes at the touch of his hand, then threw herself into his arms, hugging him with much more force than was neccessary. Matthew hugged back, then found her lips. They kissed swiftly, and Ivy felt their souls merge together, and knew with a depth of certainty that she would never find anyone who would love her as much as this man did, and she would never find a man who she could love as much as she loved this man.

"Mount up Tirragen!" Gavin roared. Matthew made a rude gesture over his shoulder at his General, then kissed Ivy one last time, before whistling for Magic and jumping onto his back.

"I'll be back!" he promised again. He leant down and stroked a strand of hair away from Ivy's face. "I love you!" he said.

"I love you too!" Ivy said. Matthew looked at her lovingly, then kicked Magic into a trot to catch up with Numair and the others. Ivy watched as he rode outof the gates, wondering if he wasriding out of her life.

* * *

**Hmm . . . what do you think? Please tell**

**Mage of the Heart**


	21. Hole in the Heart, Sinking in the Chest

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

_Tonight I'm writing you, a million miles away_

_Tonight is all about I miss you_

_Tonight is all about I miss you now_

**Homesick at Space camp; Fall Out Boy (slightly changed)**

**BIG LETTER! APOLOGIES FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE THEM, BUT THAT MEANS YOU'LL HAVE TO SKIP IT RIGHT?**

* * *

The next four weeks felt like the hardest of Ivys life. She was used to the absences of her father, his work with the Kings Own had often caused him to be away for large chunks of her childhood, but Matthews absence was new to her. Since they had met they had hardly been seperated, yet now he was camping somewhere on the border of Tortall, and she had not heard from him at all. As far as she knew, he was still alive, but there was no certain way of knowing. Ivy and Buri spent the majority of the next few weeks with Kel's friend Yuki, Daine, Thayet and Cecilia. Although the company was welcome, it reminded all of them that their lovers or husbands were not there, which eventually led to Daine-who tried to pin it on pregnancy hormones-, Cecilia and Yuki breaking down into tears. Ivy had taken thisas a hint to leave, not wanting her aunts and friend to see her cry, and spent the next few dayson her own in her room. Not until there was aknock on the door announcing a letter did Ivy come out, and she remained out only long enough to get the letter, written -to her relief- in Matthews handwriting. She returned to her room and tore open the envelope, unfolding the thick parchment inside. 

_Dear Ivy, _

_First and foremost, I miss and love you. It feels like I'm writing from a million miles away.I can't believe how much I've changed since meeting you. Six months ago, a war would have been like an adventure, something that needed to be done, something I looked forward to. Now I don't want anything but to be with you, away from here. I don't care how tame this war is at the moment, it'll get worse. _

_The ride here was... how shall I put this? Eventful? The git given to us as a General decided that anyone talking between breakfast and lunch had to dig the latrine that night and had to eat nothing but bread and water for three days ... Raoul, Numair, Gareth, Alanna, George, Kel and I all got it every day ... wonder why that is... oh and did I mention the fact that we're still on latrine duty for another month, because apparently the war doesn't start until you've made the permanent camp... I knew he was going to be a moody piece of stormwing dung, but I'm seriously considering getting my knife out on him! Speaking of latrine duty, I've just got back from it, I stink and I have someones dung on me. I just hope to the Gods that its not Gavins or I will actually retch... Sorry about all this complaining... I've never wanted to be home as much as I do now... _

_We've now found out how they overthrew Kaddar. Well, I say we, I mean George's expert team of spies... (yes he was leaning over me when I wrote that bit.) It turns out that the man Rageo is a distant relative of Kaddar's, something like his second cousin. Kaddar had invited him to stay at his palace for a while, giving him unlimited access to all areas of the palace and the Knights training grounds. Rageo's father was a rich noble in South Carthak, and when he died he left all of his money to Rageo, (we still don't know his first name yet.) Rageo bribed their Generals with something like 10,000 gold nobles each... you can understand why they complied really, can't you? Rageo has a grudge against Kaddar. It turns out that Kaddar banned his father from any goings on at court, but didn't strip him of his noble priveleges. Apparently, before being banned, Rageo's father was the Prime Minister, but I don't really know all that much about it. We still haven't had word of your cousin Kalasin, she hasn't been found as yet, dead or alive, but Raoul says there's not much hope for her if she hasn't been found yet. _

_There's only been one battle so far. It wasn't particularly big, but we still lost a man, Owen of Jesslaw. Kel's not been eating much, something that your Dads not too happy about. Dom's been trying to cheer her up, but she keeps pushing him away... its torture watching her, but none of us seem to be able to do anything. Cleon of Kennan's tried cheering her up too, but there's some kind of history there and she doesn't seem to want to listen. Raoul's attempting it now too, hopefully he'll be more successful, we need Kel in top form. She wanted to go back to Jesslaw for the funeral, but guess who's stopped her? Another reason for me to knife Gavin as soon as I have the chance..._

_I don't want to write about the war any more. I want to forget about the whole thing. I miss you so much. I feel so cold and lonely every morning when I wake up and you're not there, and then in the day when I look around and can't see you, I just feel like I'm a candle thats been put out... and I have no idea what a candle feels like... and I know you're frowning at me now, -_it was true, she was- _wondering what I've been drinking to compare myself to a candle, but I haven't drunk anything, though Gavins trying to give out rations of brandy and other drinks to keep us 'jolly.' The rest of the army seem to think its a great revelation, and that a couple of drops of brandy will make everything all better again... then there's your stubborn family and I, refusing it. Maybe we're the only people who actually realise it won't help. _

_General Git -new nickname for him, do you like it- is calling, so I need to go and be a good little soldier and 'report for duty'. I'll write again soon sweetheart. _

_I miss you and I love you._

_Take care beautiful_

_Yours always_

_Matthew x_

Ivy read the letter through five times, trying to imagine Matthew sat writing it. It helped a little, knowing that she still remembered him well enough to imagine him doing something she had never watched him do, but it wasn't enough to fill the hole that had been present in her heart for the last month. No letter was enough to get rid of the sinking feeling that was in her heart when she fell asleep, knowing that she might never fall asleep with Matthew again.

* * *

**I hate letters . .. . they bore me, but I kind of needed to show what happened in a way other than switching to Matthew suddenly because that will happen in the next chapter, but first you must all review and help me break the hundred mark ... oh and sorry about the length ... **

**Review please :)**

**Mage of the Heart **


	22. Threats and A Challenge

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Sorry I killed off Owen, but I had to kill someone that would mean something! If the words are stuck together, its the silly editing programme on here...I keep going through to check my grammar, but words still stick together :( apologies all round...**

* * *

Matthew stood on the hill overlooking the camp that had been his home for the last two months. It was raining, just as it had been for the last week. He could see from where he stood the cluster of green tents in the distance, with men bustling around with their horses. Carthaks camp was heaving. Over 15000 men lay just two miles away, and another 30000 men waited back in Carthak. Rageo was among those stationed in the camp. Matthew had caught his first glimpse of him three weeks before, when Carthak had tried and- Matthew was pleased to say, - failed, to attack during the night. Had Gavin been left in charge of the defence for the camp, Matthew felt certain that the Tortallan camp and every man who was in it, would have been burnt to death as they slept. Luckily, Matthew and Numair had put five Knights on watch, who had alerted them to the oncoming 5000 men. Gavin had stated as he had gone to bed that the men needed there rest and should not be left awake in the middle of the night. It had been with a feeling of great triumph that Matthew had sent a man to wake up 'General Git' as was now the popular name for Gavin whilst he was away from the men, though all were careful not to use it around Gavin, for it was guarunteed to earn them at least a month of latrine duty. Matthew was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of a man running up the hill, panting. He whipped round, hand flying to his belt, only to see that it was the messenger. 

"Sir, I have a letter for you, from your..."the man stopped and frowned, "Squire? She asked me to deliver it in person."

Matthew nodded, trying to hide the sudden leaping in his chest. She hadn't forgotten him! He held out his hand, showing an air of patience which he was definitely not feeling. Why wouldn't the man just hurry up and give him the blasted letter? After what seemed like an hour, the man pulled out a thick envelope from the bag which was slung over his shoulder. "Thanks." he murmured, then ripped it open. Only as he read the first line did he realise that the man was now standing and watching as he read. "Yes?" Matthew snapped, much more fiercely than he intended. The man jumped back.

"Sorry Sir... I'll be going then!" The man ran down the hill. Matthew watched, then looked back down at the letter. Only as he unfolded the parchment, did he realise that it was very heavy and that there was something strangely solid between the pages. As he opened it up, a round, golden object on a thin chain slid through the parchment. If it hadn't been for years of practicing his hand-eye co-ordination, it would have slipped to the floor. However, he managed to slip a finger through the chain inches above the ground. Matthew lifted it and placed the gold medallion on his hand. It was a circle, about the size of a gold noble. Engraved on it, in the centre, was a heart, containing the interlinked letters 'I' and 'M.' Matthew smiled and went to put it over his head. Then he noticed the note, attached to the chain with a thin cord, which was punched through a scrap of parchment. He took the parchment in his hand and read;

_Matthew,_

_I miss you_

_Love_

_Ivy x_

Matthew blinked away the stinging in his eyes and carefully ripped the cord away and placed the chain over his head. A shout from the bottom of the hill reawoke him. He shoved the letter into his breeches pocket, and ran down the hill. He'd read the letter later.

* * *

It was noon the next day. The rain had cleared and now the Tortallan camp was for the first time in two months, seen to be moving. For the last two months the Knights and men of the Own had been hunched in their tents, except for when they were fighting and training. Now the camp seemed over-crowded, and almost every single knight was out in the fresh air. Matthew however, sat in his tent, reading and re-reading Ivy's letter, wishing more than ever that he was home with Ivy. He absently fingered the gold medallion that hung round his neck, as he began to read it once again. Only when a voice sounded from the flap of the tent did Matthew look up to see Raouls face poking through. 

"General Git wants to see you. He doesn't look happy." Raoul ran a hand through his hair then stopped. "Is that from Ivy?" Matthew instantly shoved the letter away.

"No!" He said, far too quickly. Raoul frowned. Matthew took in a deep breath. "I mean it is, but... you don't want to read it do you?" he asked, hoping that the answer was no. There was far too much personal content in this letter, contents that Matthew did not want Ivy's father to read. Raoul shook his head.

"No, its fine, I just got a letter from Buri yesterday saying that Ivy was rather depressed and missing you..." he shrugged. "Oh well, you should hurry, General Git really is not in a good mood." Raoul disappeared and Matthew put the letter safely in the pocket of his breeches before leaving the tent.

* * *

Gavin was sat, as he usually was, in his tent, surrounded by the whole population of women in the camp, excluding Keladry and Alanna. As Matthew entered, the women left, leaving Gavin and Matthew alone. Gavin gave Matthew a careful look, then grinned crookedly. 

"Did you know I have someone censor all post that my men get before they are given to them?" Gavin swirled the contents of a large glass and smiled. "I happened to personally censor your letter before that delightful messenger gave it to you... you do know that men can't have women visitors while they are out here? Somewhat of a distraction isn't it? By all means play around with the cooks if needs be, but your little girlfriend shall not be visiting! She is not capable of defending herself and I can't waste men trying to defend her if Carthak decides to attack."

"Shes perfectly capable of defending herself! She's a squire, and both of us know you have to be able to fight to pass the Page examinations!" Matthew stood up and went to walk out, only to find that two big and muscly knights grabbed him and threw him back down.

"At least meet some of them Tirragen!" Gavin said sweetly, still swirling his drink. "I'm sure we'll find one to suit you!" Instantly, as if the women who had just left had been listening to their conversation at the mouth of the tent, they returned and stood next to Gavin. Several of them began preening Gavins hair, while two took up a position on his knee. Matthew rolled his eyes at them, then looked at Gavin who had just begun to speak again. "Take your pick then Tirragen, I've got eight at the moment, and eight women in one night is hard work. If Carthak come, I won't be able to fight properly. How about we split them, half and half?" Gavin grinned as the women seemed to instantly grope him. Matthew looked at the women. Most of them, except one, were very attractive, but they just weren't Ivy.

"Keep them." Matthew said, standing up. "It's your fault if this army gets screwed up, I don't want to be a part of it." He looked in disgust at the women, now kissing Gavins neck and face. "I don't want your whores either."

As Matthew reached the tent flap, Gavin spoke again. "You're a disappointment Tirragen." He stated. "I heard so many rumours when you became a Squire, that you were a womanizer, more so than me, that you pulled a different woman every night... funny how rumours fly around isn't it?"

Matthew stopped. "You know what, I was like that, and it sucked!" He left the tent, but not in time to nothear the "you're on latrine duty for a month!" that came from within the tent.

* * *

"What did General Git want with you?"Raoul asked over the bowl of soup that they had all been given. 

Matthew hesitated, then said, "Wanted me to start screwing the cooks for him!" Matthew put his bowl aside.

Raoul choked on his soup. "Wh...What did you... s... say?" he managed, trying to dislodge the crust of bread that had stuck in his throat.

"No." Matthew said shortly, then sighed. "I've got latrine duty for a month though..."

"What? Just for not sleeping with the cooks?" Alanna said in disgust.

Matthew nodded, then stood up. "I have to go and finish this letter to Ivy."

* * *

Ivy was mounted on Thunder and overlooking the mass of Tortallan tents that made up their camp. She'd left almost as soon as she got Matthew's letter. Luckily it had been the day before she started her monthlies, and the day she arrived was the day that she finished. She hesitated at the top of the hill,wondering where Matthew, her Uncles, Auntsand father would be. She had agreed to tell Numair that Daine had had the baby already, instead of trusting it to a letter or speech spell, it wouldn't do for the letter to be intercepted and for someone to find out that the leader of the Tortallan defence had just had another child. She'd also agreed to bring the letter from Buri to Raoul, as the man delivering the letters to the camp had not been due to leave until three days later. Ivy took in a deep breath, then rode down the hill.

* * *

Matthew had just returned from latrine duty, when the knight on watch called that there was a lone person on horseback. Matthew grabbed his sword and whistled for Magic, who ran towards him instantly, unsaddled. Matthew jumped onto his back and kicked Magic into a gallop, running past the men standing around trying to get a glimpse of the rider. He thought about yelling at them and telling them to get themselves sorted, but decided against it. When he reached the bottom of the hill he stopped and looked up at the rider on a palomino gelding. The rider wore a pair of brown breeches and a loose shirt. Their blackhair hung down past their shoulders, and a sword hung at the riders belt. Matthew went to draw the sword at his own belt, then saw a glinting of sunlight on something that Matthew couldn't see around the riders neck. Suddenly Matthew realised who it was and dismounted with a smile on his face. The rider looked up, then kicked their horse into a gallop, jumping from the saddle when they were a few metres from Matthew. Before he could prepare himself, he was knocked backwards onto the floor as Ivy flung herself at him. He laughed, but it was muffled by Ivy's mouth being pressed to hers. He kissed her fiercely, for several minutes, before a voice called out from somewhere nearby. 

"Hey everybody, look, Tirragen's got himself a lass!" Instantly, Ivy pulled away, blushing, and stood up to let him stand. Matthew smiled at her, then looked at the man who had spoken, who was now at the front of a vast amount of men trying to see what was going on.

"Shut it Irontown!" Matthew growled. The men laughed, but slowly began to disperse. After a while they were all gone, and Matthew instantly picked Ivy up and spun her round. By the time he let her go, she was dizzy and had been thoroughly kissed.

"I missed you!" Matthew whispered. Ivy smiled and buried her face in his shirt.

"I missed you too!" she murmured, her hands finding her way to his buttons and beginning to undo them. Matthew felt the first creepings of desire, and grabbed her hands.

"Not now!" he said quietly. "Your family will want to see you!" he kissed her softly on the forehead, then smiled. "Later." he promised.

Ivy nodded. "Ok..." she said, then offered her hand. Matthew took it and brought it to his lips, before leading her to her families tents.

* * *

"Ivy?" Raoul said, looking up from polishing his sword. Ivy smiled and ran over to meet him, hugging him tight, before letting him go, only to be pulled into several more hugs from Gary, Alanna, Kel, Numair, Dom and George. Finally, she sat down next to Matthew, settling herself on his knee and resting her head on his shoulder. Numair left almost as soon as Ivy told him the news of his son's birth, to write a letter to Daine, but not before hugging every one of the people in his company. Soon afterwards, Raoul and the others found other things to do and other places to be, leaving Ivy and Matthew alone, and, in Matthews opinion, the moment couldn't have come soon enough. He had thought it would be rude to continuously embrace Ivy whilst in the presence of her family, who had also been missing her over the past few months. As soon as Raoul and the rest of Ivy's family were out of sight, Matthew turned her round and pressed his lips to hers, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort that felt like it had long been buried. Within seconds, both Ivy and Matthew were unbuttoning the others shirt, and quietly murmuring in the others ear. They sprung apart at the sound of Gavins voice. 

"Tirragen! I thought I told you that you were not allowed women visitors whilst at war!"he growled. "Take another month of latrine duty and send your wench back home!"

Ivy, who was laying on the floor as a result of springing away from Matthew, went to jump up, but Matthew beat her to it and within seconds had laid his hands on the General's shirt and was shaking him. "Don't call Ivy a wench ever again!" he shook him for punctuation then shoved him away, turning his back on the General and lashing a foot out at a tree stump. It was supposed to relieve some of the anger he felt to the General, but it only caused a sudden throbbing pain in his foot.

"Alright... send your whore back home then!" Gavin laughed, straightening out his shirt. He had apparently not noticed that Ivy's family had chosen this moment to return and were now standing behind him. At the Generals latest remark, Raoul, George, Gary and Dom all grabbed Gavin in fury, cursing at him and telling him to keep his 'dung-errupting mouth' shut.

"Put a sock in it mister or I'll have your guts for garters!" Raoul growled.

Gavin laughed -shakily, but it was most definitely a laugh- and said, "I wouldn't advise it Giantkiller, you wouldn't like to go before the Court of Mithros now would you?" Somehow he managed to shake free of the four men's grips and smiled. "For accosting your General, you can all have a month of latrine duty with Tirragen!" he turned to look at Ivy, now stood next to Matthew and glaring at Gavin. "I don't want to see you here again, I want you out of here by tomorrow..." he then grinned at her. "Unless of course you wish to spend some time with me in my tent... in which case we may be able to come to some kind of agreement!"

"Eat stormwing dung!" Ivy spat - quite literally - and a line of saliva landed on the General's boot, much to the amusement of Ivy's family. "And don't think I'm leaving just because you 'say-so' you're not my General, and quite frankly I don't know how you got given the job in the first place!"

Gavin stared at her coldly for several seconds, then his mouth broke into a cruel smirk. "Fine!" He said. "Stay as long as you like! But keep away from me and my men! And don't start calling for help if we get attacked!" Gavin turned to leave. Ivy grabbed the knife that she kept at her belt and threw it deliberately so that it cut a long gash across the Generals arm, before it buried itself in the trunk of a tree. Gavin turned to her with a look of rage, whilst George -who had taken several months teaching Ivy to do that trick- grinned with pride.

"You filthy whore!" Gavin growled. Matthew and the others all moved to run and punch Gavins face in, but Ivy shook her head at them and waited for Gavin to go on. He glared at her with a look of deepest loathing, then drew his sword. "You want to fight? Fine! Right here! Right now! What are you waiting for you little slut? Not to keen on the idea any more?"

Ivy shrugged. "Fine. I'll fight you..." she turned to look at Matthew who was giving her a look which said 'dont fight him he'll kill you'. She ignored it and offered her hand. "Later... after dinner..." she hesitated, then said, "In front of all your men!" Matthew looked at her and shook his head, then took her hand and led her away from Gavin's calls.

"Don't think I'll go easy on you because you're a girl either!"

* * *

Ivy stood next to a tree, stretching, as Matthew tried to persuade her for the hundredth time not to fight with Gavin. 

"Listen, he's a cocky git, and I hate him, but he's a good fighter and I don't want to see you cut up by him! Just say you want to postpone the match because of monthlies or something and then avoid him for the rest of your time here!"

Ivy shook her head. "All that will get me is a reputation as a wimp and a coward who makes empty threats!"

"You didn't threaten him!" Matthew said despairingly.

"I threw a knife at him though!" Ivy pointed out. "That kind of counts as a threat!"

Matthew groaned. "By the Gods, why is everything in my life so bloody complicated!" He grabbed her shoulders. "Listen to me! You mean the world to me and I am not going to let some Git like him cut you up! He's an idiot whos just got a way too big ego! Don't get so worked up about him calling you a whore! He won't touch you ok! Not while you're with me so just..."

Ivy covered his mouth and shook her head. "I've got my pride. He called me a whore... he deserves what's coming to him!"

She walked off without another word and Matthew kicked the tree in anger. Looking over to Gavin, sat surrounded by several tall, muscular knights, he glared. "Touch her Stone Mountain and I'll blow you to bits!" he growled. He kicked the tree once more then ran after Ivy.

* * *

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

**I don't like it much... what do you think?**


	23. Fighting General 'Git'

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

* * *

"Please!" Matthew begged, as Ivy began sharpening her sword. Ivy said nothing and merely glared at him, before returning to her sword. Matthew sighed. "Alright fine!" he said. He went on, sarcastically."Let General Git beat you up! I mean it's not like I'll miss you or anything! It's not like you mean anything to me! I mean, I'm sure it'll be great fun watching him slice you and laugh at you! But just before you commit social and personal suicide at the same time, I'd better ask you this; what kind of flowers do you want at the funeral?" 

Ivy looked up. "Roses." she said shortly. "Red and white roses." If Matthew noticed the small grin on Ivy's face, he refused to acknowledge it.

"So you admit he's going to beat you then?" he said, crouching next to Ivy and covering her hands with his. Ivy rolled her eyes, and Matthew carried on. "In that case, you shouldn't do it! Just make up an excuse! Please! It's not hard! Just tell him that you've..."

"I am not telling him that I have come on for my monthlies Matthew of Tirragen!" Ivy hissed, shocking Matthew. "I am not a coward and contrary to what you seem to believe, I can defend myself! So get over it and shut up trying to persuade me to chicken out!"

Matthew took his hand away and stood up, putting his hands on the back of his head. "I didn't say you couldn't fight!" Matthew said quietly, "and I wasn't saying chicken out. I was just saying..."

"You were just saying that he'll beat me if I fight him. Well thanks for the confidence boost, but if it's all the same to you, I'll ignore it." She stood up, put the sword in its scabbard and then went to leave the circle of people around the fire, many of whom were staring at her and Matthew.

"Where are you going?" Matthew asked sharply, grabbing her arm and pulling her back.

Ivy shook him off. "To the latrine!"

* * *

Matthew watched in silence as Ivy walked into the middle of the circle of men, standing on the opposite side of the fire from Gavin. He'd earnt himself another month of latrine duty for demanding that Ivy and Gavin fight away from the fire, and also earnt a fierce look from Ivy that had said, in not so many words, that he had better be quiet before she sliced him. Now he watched as Ivy swung her sword around in a warm up pattern, biting his lip with both anxiety and annoyance. When Gavin and Ivy were both ready, it was Raoul who gave the call to start, and Matthew watched with an extremely unpleasant taste of bile rising in his throat...

* * *

Ivy circled as Gavin began to spin his sword around. With another opponent, Ivy would have let them wear themselves out before attacking, but somehow she doubted that Gavin would be the kind of man with a low stamina, so instead she watched every move he made very carefully, trying to see where he was weakest... She was caught off guard when Gavin leapt over the fire towards her, and only the last second dive to the left saved her from being impaled instantly on Gavins sword. Gavin had obviously expected her to move, and did an impressive somersault to land in front of Ivy before beginning to attack in earnest, using his size -for he was head and shoulders taller than her, though still smaller than Matthew- and weight to his advantage. The strong muscles in his arms, Ivy noticed, were tensed as he attacked, and it appeared to her that the General liked to have tight shirts, to show off his muscle to anyone that wanted to look. Gavin brought his sword down hard, and Ivy managed to bring her sword up just in time to stop an extremely painful cut landing on her face. The muscles in her arm screamed in protest at the amount of weight being pressed down onto them, and Ivy gave a last push up, before dropping to the floor and rolling away, while Gavin fell forwards as a result of no more resistance. Jumping to her feet, Ivy ran forward, jumping into the air and planting a hard kick in the General's stomach and was pleased to hear him gasp for breath. Flipping off him, she brought her sword down, beginning to attack whilst he struggled for breath. He blocked one blow weakly, but the edge of his sword cut Ivys hand open, and blood began to spill. As she went to back down in defeat, Gavin continued to attack. She blocked desperately, but the blood on her hand caused the sword to become slippy, and it flew from her hands, behind Gavin's back. Trying to ignore the sickening look on Gavin's face, Ivy once more flipped backwards, catching Gavins sword by the hilt and flicking it from his hands. Landing close to the ground, Ivy watched as Gavin instantly clenched his fists and began to move on his toes, ready to begin hand to hand combat with her. Ivy had meant this to happen, she had been taught by various Shang warriors, the training master and her cousin Aly and Uncle George, how to defend herself without weapons, though the feeling of the dagger sheaths stowed in both of her boots increased her morale slightly. As Gavin moved cautiously forwards, Ivy jumped up and lashed out with her foot, catching the Generals shoulder and pushing him backwards. Without waiting to see Gavin's reaction, Ivy began a sequence of kicks and punches, a mixture of Rogue, Shang and Noble hand-to-hand combat. Gavin managed to block some of her feebler blows, but he had obviously not expected her to be so accomplished in this way of fighting. Ivy planted one last punch on Gavin's face, then somersaulted backwards, drawing the two knives from her boots as she went through the air. Gavin missed the two sharp blades that she had drawn, and came forwards, fists clenched and ready to attack. He lashed out with a fist, catching Ivy on the jaw just as Ivy spun one of her knives in her hand and brought it slashing down aboveGavins left eye, leaving a deep gash from the eyebrow to the cheek. As the General staggered away from her, with one hand clamped over his bleeding eye, Ivy put her knives back into her boots, before kicking Gavin one final time in the stomach and heading away from him. As Ivy reached the edge of the ring of men, Gavin growled at her. 

"You'll pay for that Squire, mark my words!" Then he shoved through the crowd of men to find a healer, leaving Ivy as the centre of attention. Ivy wasn't sure what to do, and pushed her way gently, but forcefully through the men. Matthew followed her, pushing through the men who were staring after Ivy and refused to move. Running after her, he caught her by the arm and steered her forcefully away from the men and into the shadow of a large tree, on the edge of a small forest.

"Ivy... that was amazing!" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. Ivy snorted.

"Hardly!"

Matthew smiled and kissed her forehead. "You never told me you'd learnt Shang..." he said quietly.

Ivy shrugged. "It's hardly important." she said plainly.

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Sure it is." he said. "I know it too... maybe we should start practising..." he leant down slightly, so that he could press his lips to her forehead, thenmoved them down her face, finally finding her lips and pressing their mouths together hungrily. Ivy sighed as his arms wrapped around her and relaxed into his hold, wrapping her own arms around him and pressing herself to his chest. Matthew had just coaxed open her mouth when there was a cough from nearby. He pulled away, a look of annoyance on his face. Raoul ran over to them carrying Ivy's sword, closely followed by her Uncles and Aunts.

"Sorry to interrupt," Raoul said, with a rather cheeky grin directed at Matthew, who frowned. "Here's your sword Ivy." he handed over the sword that had been thrown from Ivys hands, then ruffled her hair. "Well done... you might want to watch out for him from now on though, he'll want to get back at you." Ivy smiled and nodded.

"So you did understand about all the Rogue style of fighting?" George said, grinning at his niece. "And there was this poor old man thinking you'd believed it a waste o' time and paid no attention." He smiled. "I'm proud of you lass."

Ivy grinned. "I'd never say learning to fight like a Rogue was a waste of time George." she said. "You were one after all."

Several more congratulations followed, before, finally, Ivy and Matthew were left alone again. Matthew smiled at her and kissed her cheek, before leaning down next to her ear. "Do you think it's time we went to bed?" he asked quietly, nipping affectionately at her earlobe. Ivy giggled and nodded. Wordlessly, Matthew lead her to his tent, trying to hide the longing that had suddenly overcome him, and the realization of how much he had missed her being in his bed. He didn't know it, but at that same moment, Ivy was thinking much the same thing.

* * *

Matthew pulled out of Ivy, breathing heavily and whispering in her ear. "Imissed you..."

Ivy snuggled closer to his warm,muscled chest and smiled. "I missed you more..." she murmured into his soft skin,savouring his smell.

"Thats impossible..." Matthew said, just as quietly. Ivy smiled, but said nothing. After several minutes of silence, Matthew looked down at her and tilted her head up. "I love you." he said, his voicegentle, almost a caress.

Ivy smiled, trying to ignore the sudden stinging in her eyes that said she was about to cry."I love you too..." she managed, before breaking down into tears and burying her face in Matthews shoulder. Matthew froze, shocked byIvys behaviour, then slowly wrapped his arms around her, rocking her gently in his arms.

"Hey..." he whispered. "It's ok! I'm here!" he stroked the hair away from Ivy's face, then kissed her forehead. "Don't cry... I'm here... everything's fine alright."

"I'm... s... s... sorry," Ivy sobbed. "I just... missed...missed you..."

Matthew closed his eyes and rested his head on hers. "Shhhh..." he saidsoothingly. "Shhh... I missed you too, just... shhh...everything's fine..."Eventually, after several long minutes,Ivy stopped, andlooked at Matthew through red eyes,glistening with tears.

"Sorry..." she whispered. "I didn't mean to get you wet..." Matthew chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"It's fine!" he assured her, then bent down to kiss her lips, gently pushing his tongue in to meet her own. Ivy sighed into his mouth, and kissed back fiercely. A sudden stirring in his groin alerted Matthew to the suddenly painful longing he felt. He kissed her more fiercely than ever, then lay her on her back, entering her body swiftly, and beginning a rhythm of thrusts, each one causing Ivy to gasp in pleasure. She came quickly, several times, before Matthew joined her, releasing his pleasure inside her and not wishing to pull away, not wanting to break the connection that he had gone for months without. "Gods, Ivy I missed you." he whispered, resting his forehead on hers and playing absently with her necklace, whilst Ivy played, just as absently, with the medallion that hung round his neck.

"I missed you too." Ivy said quietly.

"I love you, Angel."

"I love you too, Hero."

Matthew frowned at this name. "Since when was I a hero?"

Ivy grinned. "Since when was I an angel?"

* * *

Gavin sat in his tent, tracing his finger over the scar on his head. The healer had done as much as possible, but said that there was nothing he could do to get rid of the scar, and that Gavin would have to live with it. The General, who was used to being told of his perfect, handsome face, felta surge of anger every time he thought about it. Women, he had heard before, liked men with scars, but the women with whom he had been sleeping recently, seemed repulsed at it. Gavin looked absently at the tent flap. He had walked past Tirragens tent, not even an hour before, to hear, much to his annoyance, vows of love and affection being exchanged, closely followed by a silence which could have only been a very long, passionate kiss. It was necessary, he believed, to teach the Goldenlake girl a lesson, and it seemed that Tirragen was the perfect way to anger, if the vows were -as he assumed they were- true. And perhaps at the same time, he could get to Tirragen... he managed a small grin at the thought... two birds with one stone... and possibly some entertainment along the way...

* * *

**So? How'd you like it? Please review...**

**Mage of the Heart**


	24. Broken

I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters

Right guys, as far as the plot goes, I'm pretty much sorted for the next few chappies and the ending... its the stuff in between, so on the last chapter that is planned at the moment, I'm going to be asking for your help, you can start thinking now if you want to, but if you guess where I'm going send me an email, ask about it, cus we can't ruin the plot for all of the other lovely people can we and if they decide to read reviews... then we will...

Enjoy the story!

Ivy was leaving the tent to go to the latrine when Matthew awoke. He sighed and lay back on his pillows, waiting for her to come back, feeling the sudden chill as the warmth that he had become accustomed to overnight faded from his bedroll. After a while Ivy returned, and Matthew immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into the bedroll, kissing her neck repeatedly, much to Ivy's amusement. His hand was slipping up Ivy's shirt when Gavins voice split the quiet of the morning.

"All you lazy gits get up!"

Matthew pulled away from Ivy reluctantly. "One of these days I'm going to yell in his tent and see how he likes it." He got up and pulled on his clothes, before leaning over and kissing Ivy gently on the lips. "You might want to stay here, he's a bit cranky in the mornings." he grinned and stroked her face before walking out of the tent. Ivy stayed in the bedroll for a while, trying to get back to sleep, but, aftera long time, she gave up and changed into clean clothes before leaving the tent.

* * *

Matthew was right. Gavin was obviously not a morning person, and was busy barking instructions at everyone in sight, finding fault with anything and everything. Ivy promptly avoided him,searching for Matthew and her family from the shadows of the trees. She didn't think it would be a good idea to get in Gavins way, especially after giving him a rather large scar the night before. Ivy's plan of discretion, however, failed. After looking over to the latrine to check that neither Matthew or her family were there, she turned and walked into something hard. Looking up, Ivy gulped. 

"Watch where you're going Squire!" Gavin hissed at her. "And keep out of my way."

"I wouldn't want to waste my time and energygetting in your way anyway," Ivy replied.

Gavin glared at her briefly, then turned and walked away.

* * *

Matthew was in a small glade of trees along with Raoul and the rest of Ivy's family. 

"What've you done to General Git this morning Ivy?" Raoul asked as she Ivy sat down on Matthews knee. "He gave us all such lovely looks as he walked by." Raoul's voice was sarcastic and Ivy looked down.

"I might have walked into him..." She said slowly. Matthew chuckled in her ear and nuzzled her neck with his nose.

"Say anything to him?"

"Might have..."

"Well...? What did you say?"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "I told him I wouldn't want to waste time and energy trying to get in his way alright? Satisfied?"

Matthew smiled. "Very. Thanks." he kissed her lightly on the cheek, a hand running through her hair.

"Tirragen!" Gavin roared from across the glade of trees. "I thought I put you on latrine duty!"

Matthew groaned and grumpily dislodged Ivy from his lap. "You did." He said. "It doesn't mean I have to do it every hour of the day. There isn't enough muck in the heap to do it."

Gavin looked at Matthew for a second. "Take another month Tirragen... what's that now? Six months latrine duty? You want to be careful, or I might mistake you for the heap of muck you're meant to be cleaning up!" He stopped then grinned. "Then again, its what you are anyway, isn't it?"

Matthew faked a yawn and stood up. "The number of times we've heard that line... can't you think of any original ones _Sir_?"

Gavin rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. "Keep up the witty comments Tirragen and you can have another six months for cheek."

Matthew put a hand over his chest and faked a hurt expression. "That is the most painful thing I've ever heard." he said sarcastically.

"Another six months it is then Tirragen... I'm starting to wonder whether you feel at home in the muck heap."

* * *

She was annoying him. Everywhere he went around the camp she seemed to be there. He couldn't get away from the smug grin on her family's faces, even when he gave them latrine duty, Gavin still got the smirks, the snide comments. Something had to be done about Tirragen's girl. And it had to be done soon, he wasn't going to let any girl ruin his reputation...

* * *

Ivy had gone to bed early. Now she had woken up, and was unable to get to sleep. She got up, deciding to go for a ride. There was nobody about except the men on watch, and most of the time they fell asleep on duty, nobody would be around to stop her, and she wasn't going far. She planted a soft kiss on Matthews cheek, careful not to wake him, then left the tent. 

It was a dark night, with few stars. She couldn't see the men on duty,and there were no men walking over to the latrine.On another day, Ivy might have felt uncomfortable and gone back to bed, but she had been so agitated by the security of the camp that day, that she thought it was easier to go for a ride now, when nobody was around, than to try and convince people to let her go. Careful to avoid stepping on any twigs, Ivy hurried over to the stable that the men had built for the horses. She vaulted over the door to the stable in which Thunder was housed -she had already found out the door was creaky- only to find that Thunder was pawing agitatedly at the ground of the stable. She stroked him soothingly, then saddled him up. Only when she looked back at the door did she think that she would have to open the door for them to be able to get out, but then Thunder somehow managed to clear the door, landing quietly on the other side, cocking his head to the side as if to ask what was taking Ivy so long. Ivy grinned and vaulted over the door, taking Thunders reins and leading him around twigs and branches that would make a noise if they were trodden on. After a few minutes, they reached the edge of the camp, and Ivy mounted up, sighing in relief at the familiarity of being in the saddle. She was about to kick Thunder into a gallop, when suddenly a familiar and unwelcome voice sounded from behind her.

"Surely you should be in bed Squire!" Turning round, Ivy saw Gavin standing behind her, sword clipped to his waist. Ivy silently swore. This was just her luck, to decide to go for a night time ride when Gavin was on watch. When she didn't reply, Gavin went on. "You weren't planning on leaving were you?"

"I was going for a ride!" Ivy snapped. "But if that's not allowed then I'll just go!" She turned Thunder round and kicked him into a trot, passing Gavin. She didn't see his arm whip out until she had been dragged out of the saddle and slammed onto the floor. Ivy tried to cry out, but a large hand covered her mouth.

"You might have beaten me yesterday _Squire_, but it won't happen again! Nobody beats me and gets away with it! Especially not a fifteen year old wench!" Gavins voice was cold, low and frightening, but it didn't stop Ivy spitting in his face.

"Maybe if you learnt to fight you wouldn't get beaten so easily!" she hissed. Gavin grabbed her face in an iron grip and looked her in the eye.

"Maybe next time, little wench, I'll try harder, I didn't want to hurt you, but now, I think it might be worth the loss of honour to see the look on your face!" He stared at her with cold eyes. "You might think you can beat me, but I have ways to beat you that are much more than physical harm!" A cold smile passed over his face. "You might want to tell Tirragen to watch his back." he grinned. "Then again you might not..." his grip loosened on her face as his other hand passed down her chest. Ivy immediately brought her leg up, intending to hit Gavin in the back of the head, but the hand that had just been on her face moved very fast to grab her leg in just the same iron grip. "That's not very friendly now, is it?"

Ivy spat in his face again. "If we were trying to be friendly, you wouldn't have dragged me out of the saddle and covered my mouth!"

Gavin smiled wickedly. "True. But this is much more interesting... for me at least..." Ivy tried to hit him, but he stopped her whenever she tried. "Really, after yesterday, I thought you could actually fight... at least a little..." He released her and got to his feet. Ivy immediately flipped up and lashed out with her foot, only to have it caught in mid-kick. "Now now, calm down. Lets try and get along shall we?" he whipped his hand into the air, sending Ivy flying onto her back. She instantly got back up, hand darting to her waist where there would usually have been a sword. It wasn't there. She looked at Gavin angrily. He smiled at her. "You really aren't very good at this are you?" within a second he was in front of her, her face gripped tightly in his hand. "If it weren't for the fact I want to see the look on your face when I beat up lover boy, I'd have my way with you right now..." Ivy froze. She wasn't stupid, and she knew what he was talking about, and it wasn't something she was used to hearing. Nobody had ever threatened to rape her and kill her before, too many men thought her unfeminine. "Don't worry..." Gavin said quietly. "You're safe..." she could almost hear him smile as he said, "for now!" He let her go and turned away, walking back towards his tent. Ivy stared where she was, rubbing her painful face.

"Ivy?" Ivy spun round, seeing Matthew walking towards her in breeches and no shirt. "What are you doing?"

Ivy shrugged. "Nothing..." should she tell him? No, she decided. He'd only beat Gavin up and get himself in even deeper trouble. "I was just... walking..."

Matthew walked over to her, and shivered. "It's freezing though!" Ivy smiled.

"Its not that bad."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Not bad?" He shook his head. "Come on. Even if you're not cold I am." He offered his hand. When she took it, he walked her back over to his tent.

* * *

What had he done? Gavin stared into the flame of his candle with annoyance, even anger. He'd just threatened Goldenlake's daughter, Tirragens lover, Numair Salmalin and Alanna the Lioness's niece. What had he been thinking? If she told any of them, he lost his position as General, and didn't get back at her for the painful scar she'd given him. For a second, he wondered if he was over-reacting. It was after all only a scar. Then he remembered the looks on the men's faces, the smirks, the smug looks that meant they were amused that he had been beaten by a Squire, and a female Squire at that. He clenched his fist at the thought. And Tirragen... he'd always hated him... somehow Tirragen had always bested him in the practice courts, always had a nerve and wit abouthim that couldn't be bested,and even though he never had any friends among the Pages, certain Knights had for some reason been on the lookout for him, watching his back, making it impossible for Gavin to touch him. Now he could hurt Tirragen more than he had believed possible, and hurt his Squire at the same time... he just had to keep his wits about him.

* * *

Maybe it was Gavins threat playing on her mind, maybe she just wasn't tired, but Ivy couldn't sleep. Long after Matthew had drifted off she lay awake in his arms, wondering how to keep herself out of Gavins way, and to keep Matthew out of his way as well. Maybe she could go back home... but if she did, she'd be leaving Matthew. She knew she had to go back sometime, but Jonathan had given her a month leave from her duties at the palace, and she wanted to spend as long as possible with Matthew, she just had to work out how to keep out of Gavin's way. She couldn't tell of him, she was sure of that. It was the first thing she had learnt as a Page; never tell tales. If someone asked what happened, make something up. She sighed, thinking. Just as she wasdrifting off to sleep, it occured to her that Thunder was still saddled, and she didn't know if he was in his stable. When she tried to move, her legs wouldn't obey,and her eyes remained close_. In the morning_, she thought_, I'll go and make sure he's there in the morning_... and she feel asleep.

* * *

Ivy woke up before Matthew, the first light of day drifted in through the crack at the entrance to the tent. She slipped out of Matthews arms, then pulled onher clothes and boots before heading outside andover to the stables. Thunder was there in his stall, with his saddle and reins hung up on a peg. Ivy frowned. Who hadtaken them off? She looked around and clenched her fists. Gavin was stoodten metres away, a smile on his face. 

"I was wondering when you'd remember that you had a horseto look after."he said, walking over to her. Ivy watched him as he advanced on her. "I supposelover boy came out and took you in the tent did he? I don't think Ineed to ask what you did then." Ivy glared at him, but said nothing. "I thoughtwe were going to try and get along?"

"Keep dreaming!" Ivy spat. "I'd have to be mental to get along with you!"

Gavin smiled coldly. "You really don't know when to keep your mouth shut do you?" he grasped her face again, and brought his face close to hers. "When I said watch your back, I meant it..." his mouth opened to say something else, but he was interrupted.

"Whatin the name of Mithros do you think that you're doing?" Ivy couldn't see him,but she recognised Matthews voice, andwithin seconds, there was aflash of pale brown ramming into the side of Gavins face, and Ivy was released.There was a thud as Matthew picked Gavin up and slammed him into the door of the stable. "You keep your hands off her!" Matthew hissed. Ivy stared in shock. She'd never seen Matthew so angry, so out of control.

"Don't worry!" Gavin managed. "I don't want your whore Tirragen." There was a flash of silver, and suddenly, the flat of Matthews knife was pressed to Gavin's throat.

"Matthew!" Raouls voice sounded from nearby. "What's going on?" he said, advancing.

Matthew didn't say anything, he was still hissing at Gavin. "You ever lay a finger on her again and I swear I'll rip you apart!"

"Matthew!" Raoul roared. "Tell me what's going on!"

Matthew didn't look at Raoul, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on Gavins face, but spoke. "The bastard was hurting Ivy!" Matthew said with a venom in his voice that shocked Ivy to the core.

"What?" Raoul asked, trying to control the obvious anger she felt. He looked at Ivy and, seeing the mark on her face where Gavin had grabbed her, launched himself at Gavin. Ivy stared. She had to do something... but what? She thought for a second, then turned and ran to the cluster of tents nearby where her Aunt Alanna and Uncle Numair were sat on two logs, talking.

"Ivy? Whats wrong?" Numair asked.

"And what happened to your face?" Alanna enquired.

Ivy shook her head. "Not important." she said. "Dad and Matthew are beating Gavin up, you've got to stop them!" Instantly the two adults were on their feet.

"Where?" Numair said quickly.

"Over there, next to the stables!" she pointed and Numair immediately ran off. Ivy turned to follow him, but Alanna caught her shoulder.

"What happened to your face?" she said calmly.

Ivy looked at her for a second, then spoke. "I'll tell you later... what about Matthew and Dad?" Alanna looked at her niece for a second, then let go of her shoulder and the two of them ran over to the stables.

Matthew and Raoul were both laying into Gavin, throwing punches and threatening to gut him if he touched Ivy again. Numair was trying to hold Matthew back, but he wasn't having any of it. Alanna and Numair exchanged a nod, and within seconds black and violet fire was sprouting from their fingers and enveloping Gavin, forming a protective barrier. Raoul and Matthew both pounded it furiously, but to no avail, and finally they stopped. Raoul slammed a ham-sized fist into the door of the stable, whilst Matthew cast a last loathing look at Gavin before walking away. Ivy turned and ran to catch up with him.

* * *

"Matthew!" Ivy said, catching his hand. He looked at her, sighed, then turned and tilted her head to look at the red mark on her face which was already starting to bruise.

"What did he say to you?" Matthew said quietly, cupping her face with his hands. "Tell me what he said!"

Ivy lifted one of her hands to cover one of his. "It doesn't matter." she said soothingly. "It was nothing..."

"Stormwing dung!" Matthew interjected. "If it was nothing he wouldn't have grabbed your face."

Ivy looked down. "He just... doesn't want me here..." it was a terrible lie, but she couldn't tell him, he'd probably kill Gavin, and she wouldn't be responsible for an unnecesary death.

"I don't believe you!" Matthew stated. Ivy stayed quiet. "If he's threatened you Ivy, you have to tell me." He lifted her head and pressed his lips gently to hers. When he pulled away he stroked her hair from her face. "I'm not just your lover you know," he whispered, "I'm your knight-master. I have to look after you and defend your honour." He paused, then repeated, "What did he say to you?"

Ivy looked down again. "He just said to watch my back..." Ivy said. It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either, maybe he would believe her...

"What about last night?" Matthew said quietly, but he couldn't keep the anger from his voice. "What did he say then?"

Ivy bit her lip. She couldn't tell him... "Nothing. We were just t..."

"Don't Ivy!" Matthew growled.

Ivy looked at him. "Don't what?"

"Don't spin me all that dung. He threatened you. I'm not stupid, and he did it again today! Didn't he?" he looked at her fiercely. "Didn't he?" He shook her, and Ivy instantly pulled away from him.

"What's wrong with you?" Ivy asked, tears brimming in her eyes. "He threatened me and he threatened you! Alright? You happy now? You didn't have to yell at me!" She turned and ran off towards her tent.

"Ivy!" Matthew called after her, but she wasn't listening. "Damn!" Matthew said. What had he done?

* * *

Gavin sat in his tent. It had worked better than he could have planned. Yes, he had several cuts and bruises to show for it, but it was perfect. Tirragen had yelled at her, and now both of them were broken, emotionally at least. It was perfect. Now for the individual punishments they both deserved...

* * *

**Guys, I'm so sorry it took so long to update, my life's been pretty screwed up for the past few weeks, so I hope you can forgive me this time... I don't know how soon the next update will be, but please review IF THE WORDS ARE STUCK TOGETHER SORRY, THE PROGRAM ON IS TERRIBLE!**

**Mage of the Heart**


	25. Goodbye General, Hello General

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

Alanna found Ivy in the stables with her face buried in Thunders mane. She instantly prised her nieces arms away from the horses neck and led her to her own tent. Ivy didn't resist, she allowed herself to be steered. Sat on the small blanket beside the bedroll, Ivy buried her face in her hands and cried. Alanna watched for a while, waiting for the tears to subside. It took a while, but when they finallly did, Alanna spoke.

"Matthew's been looking for you." she stated calmly. "What's going on?" Ivy shook her head and looked down. Alanna sighed. "Ivy, I hardly think you'd be crying if nothing was wrong..." she paused for a moment, then said, "I don't suppose this has anything to do with the little shouting match that you and Matthew had after he stopped punching Gavin does it?"

Ivy looked up at her aunt. "You heard that?"

Alanna smiled slightly. "Ivy, I think the whole camp heard you. You hardly tried to keep your voices low..."

Ivy looked down. "He was yelling at me, and shaking me... I just wasn't used to it... he's never been like that before..."

Alanna didn't say anything. It was almost as if she was waiting for Ivy to go on...

"I just didn't want him getting in trouble... it wasn't like I was doing anything wrong! And it's not my fault Gavin threatened him! I just didn't..." she stopped, realizing what she had said. Alanna looked at her carefully.

"He threatened Matthew?" she asked quietly.

"I..." Ivy started. "He... it..."

Alanna interrupted, "Ivy, did Gavin threaten Matthew? Did he threaten you?"

Ivy stayed quiet.

"Ivy!" Alanna said firmly. "If he threatened you then you should tell me."

"Its not right to tell tales..." Ivy whispered looking down.

"Ivy! There's a difference between telling tales and protecting yourself and others!"

Ivy remained silent, looking anywhere but at her Aunt's purple eyes. Her Aunt sighed, then stood up, walking over to the tent flap.

"Matthew's by the river if you're interested..." then she walked out.

Ivy sat for a while on her own, wondering whether she should go and talk to Matthew. Part of her wanted to, while another part told her that he was the one that should be apologising, he'd shaken her and yelled at her, hadn't he? She sighed. She was acting childish. It was stupid to let this get to her really... wasn't it? For a moment she remembered the terrifying tone in Matthews voice, and hurriedly pushed it away. She didn't want to think about it... it wasn't the Matthew she knew... her thoughts were interrupted when she saw the flap open and Matthew walked in, hands in the pockets of his breeches and looking at the floor.

"Ivy..." he started quietly, then trailed off. Ivy stayed silent, looking in the opposite direction. Finally, Matthew picked up where he had left off. "I'm sorry..." he said quietly. "I over reacted ok? Its just... he was hurting you Ivy! I can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you!"

"I can look after myself Matthew! I'm not some noble lady that sits at home knitting! I thought you of all people knew that!"

"I do! It doesn't stop me wanting to protect you though! I'm a guy, you're a girl and..."

"Oh I'm so glad you noticed Matthew! Well done, I'm a _girl_! I'm so glad almost a year of my life hasn't been wasted, after all, you've finally realized, I'm a _girl!_" She stormed out of the tent and went to the stables, saddling Thunder before leaving the camp at a gallop. She stopped at a river about a mile south of the camp, and sat on the bank with her feet in the water, thinking. After an hour, there was a sound of shouting from the camp, then war cries. Ivy jumped to her feet and looked round for her sword. Realizing that it wasn't there, she cursed. Why had she not thought to get her sword? The sounds of battle were getting louder, in the distance Ivy could hear the clashing of swords, the shouts of pain and the orders being barked by men. She kicked a nearby tree trunk, then began to resaddle Thunder. One foot was just in the stirrup when she heard the snap of twigs behind her. She spun round, holding Thunders reins losely in her hand. Another twig snapped and Thunder pulled out of her grip. _Whats wrong with him? _Ivy thought, beginning to run after him. _He's never ran off at the sound of twigs snapping before... _Ivy ran into something and was thrown backwards. Looking up, she tried to see what it was, but couldn't.

"I knew you wouldn't be at the camp when battle started." A voice said from behind her. Ivy felt a sick feeling in her stomach and looked over to the nearby trees. Gavin was stood there, sword drawn and dripping with blood, his right leg was bleeding from a deep gash. He smiled as she looked at him. "Your 'boyfriend' did that." he said quietly. "But nevermind, my men are getting him back." He crossed the distance between them. Ivy scrabbled to get to her feet, but Gavin shoved her back down. "This can be hard or easy, but whatever you make it, it'll be just as good for me!" he gripped her chin and looked at her with cold grey eyes. "I don't usually hurt girls, Goldenlake, but I think I can make an exception in your case!" he grinned coldly. "After all, you're not really much of a girl are you, unless you count..." his free hand moved down her chest and squeezed one of her breasts. Ivy struggled, but Gavin had pinned her down so that she could not move. "These aren't two bad..." his hand slid further down and into her breeches, and two fingers entered her. Ivy tried to cry out in pain, but couldn't, something was stopping her, it was stuck in her throat. Gavin took his fingers away and smiled. "And now, I get my revenge." And he raped her.

* * *

A while later, Ivy lay sobbing under a tree. Gavin had dragged her there before running off, saying only that he'd loved it, and that she wouldn't see him again. Ivy couldn't help but spit at him as he had said it. By the look on his face, Ivy guessed that Gavin had seriously been thinking about repeating his torture on her, only the sounds of the battle were dying, and he needed to get away. He had taken time to explain to Ivy what he had done, and she had forced herself to concentrate on what he was saying, it was easier than concentrating on the pain shooting through her body at any rate. He had been working for Rageo for years, Gavin's explanation was that Rageo paid better than the Crown did, and that he was given the respect he deserved. "Your family didn't treat me with respect, and neither did you, so here's your punishment..." at that moment he had been extra vicious with her, "... and there's is death." He had grinned then. "I'll enjoy hearing about your reaction to six of your families deaths... well... five. And that of your lover... I'll enjoy hearing that one most of all." As Ivy lay there sobbing, she wondered where Matthew and her family were, if they were still alive... there was the sound of twigs snapping and Ivy froze, remembering the last time she had heard them, and what had happened afterwards. There was the sound of hooves thudding fast on the grass, then a horses muzzle butted her face. Ivy sighed with relief as Thunder butted her gently. She tried to lift her hands to stroke him, but couldn't. Her whole body was frozen. The sound of fast footfalls on the grass told Ivy that someone else was there other than Thunder. 

"Ivy?" It was Matthew's voice, suddenly Thunder was pulled away, with nothing but a "good boy" said to him, and Ivy was lifted gently into Matthews lap as he knelt down beside her. "Ivy..." she could hear that he was on the verge of tears. "What did he do to you?" Matthew whispered, pulling her to him and sobbing into her shoulder. "I'm sorry..." he said through his tears. "It's all my fault..." He held her tight, "I'm so sorry..."

"RAOUL! Over here!" There was the sound of more feet, then Raoul's voice split the air.

"That bastard! What has he done to my daughter?" Hushed voices seemed to calm Raoul down, and two sets of feet seemed to walk away. A hand rested on Ivy's shoulder.

"Matthew, come on, let me clean her up..." a calm voice said. Matthew held her tighter.

"No... I'll do it..."

"Matthew, come on... she needs a bath and some clean clothes..."

"I'll do it!" Matthew repeated, his grip not slackening.

"Matthew, let Alanna sort her out. You need to calm down and get yourself clean..." Numair's voice was slightly higher than usual, anger seemed to cut through the air as he spoke, and if Ivy had physically been able to do anything, she would have looked round to see what expression he wore. As it was, she felt Matthew's arms being prised away from her body. A wave of tiredness swept over her, and she felt sure that Alanna had just put a sleeping spell on her...

* * *

Ivy woke up in a small tent, covered in a thick, warm blanket. Her vision was slightly blurred, but she could make out the four figures at the bottom of her bed. For several seconds, she couldn't think why she was lying in bed surrounded by her family, then suddenly, the memory of what had happened returned, and she retched over the side of the bed. Instantly the four people rushed forward, one of them took a hand and stroked away her hair, the others stayed behind them with concerned looks on their faces. Gradually, Ivy's vision righted itself, and Ivy could see Matthew sat on the side of the bed. A cut on his cheek was bleeding, as was the top of his arm, but he seemed not to notice. He was looking at Ivy through tearful eyes, he appeared to have been crying. 

"Ivy..." he whispered. "How... how are you feeling?" he looked at their interlinked hands, and Ivy could see a tear run down his cheek. "I'm sorry..." he muttered. "That was a stupid question..." His jaw clenched and he looked up at her. "Ivy, he's going to pay for this. I swear, I won't let him get away with it! And I promise, he won't touch you again, I'll..."

"The bastard got away!" The tent flap flew open and Raoul and Numair burst through. To Ivy's surprise, it was Numair that had yelled. Raoul stood and clenched his fists but said nothing. His eyes wandered to Ivy and he instantly walked over and kissed her forehead, before looking at Matthew.

"Let Alanna sort out your cuts now."

Matthew shook his head. "I'll sort them out later."

"They'll get infected, Matthew." Alanna said.

"I don't care alright?" Matthew snapped. "I'm sorry." he said immediately. "I'll do it later."

"No. Now!" Raoul clamped a hand down on Matthews shoulder, then steered him to the chair in the corner of the tent where Alanna began to heal him. Raoul looked at Numair. "You can let the King know, can't you?"

Numair nodded. "I'll go and do it now..."

* * *

"He raped her?" 

"Yes Jon, he raped her! He was working for Rageo. They attacked and he went after Ivy and raped her."

"But Gavin... he was my Squire... I thought I could trust him!"

"Jon, stop being so naive, you need to elect a new General before the whole camp falls apart!"

"Alright..." there was a pause in the conversation over the speech spell as Jonathan thought. "Matthew... put Matthew in charge..."

"Matthew?" Numair asked in shock. "But... he's a first year knight!"

"Numair, put Matthew in charge, he's good at strategy, he can keep men in order, and he's young. As soon as Ivy's feeling up to it, send her home." The flame in Numairs hand disappeared. Jonathan had ended the spell. Sighing, Numair went into the tent.

Matthew was sat once more beside Ivy, who was definitely looking more comfortable at his touch than Numair would expect after being raped. Raoul walked over and began to speak to Numair quietly.

"What did Jon say?" he asked.

Numair sighed. "Matthew's to be General..." he replied in a whisper.

"What!" Raoul gasped. "He's not even twenty! None of the men will listen to him."

Alanna, who appeared to have been listening, spoke up. "Not true. They've all got a heck of a lot more respect for Matthew than they had for Gavin. If you ask me, Matthew's a good choice. And it's not like he's not experienced. You've seen him fight Raoul, he can handle it, and he's handled the defence easily. He'll be fine." All three looked over at Matthew who was stroking Ivy's hair and talking to her quietly.

"He blames himself." George said from behind them. He walked over and placed a hand on Alanna's shoulder. "It's all he's said since she woke up. He thinks it's his fault."

Gary joined them. "Come on, we should leave them alone for a while."

Raoul started to protest, but didn't at the look on Alanna's face. Reluctantly, thinking that the last thing Ivy needed was to be left alone with someone, Raoul left the tent.

* * *

**So you people want steaminess? Not for a little while after that! Sorry its short, its just I don't want to drag this chapter on loads, please review, I'll try make the next chapter longer/more interesting/whatever, just give me your opinions on this! love ya'll**

**Mage of the Heart**


	26. Authors Note

Guys, I'm not going to update without reviews ok, so you know, dont bother if you want, but I can't be bothered to waste time writing something that I'm not going to get feedback on

Mage of the Heart


	27. Can't go on

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

He'd done it. He'd finally got her back. It served her right, stupid little wench, cutting his eye like that. Absently Gavin's hand traced his scar. It still revolted him, even now, yet somehow the revenge he had exacted on the Goldenlake whore had made some, if not most, of the disgust evaporate. After all, he had got the little brat back, made her pay. And it wasn't over yet. No. There was still Tirragen to sort out... Gavin smiled. It would be easy. Tirragen could be killed off. And if he had anything to say about it, it would be sooner rather than later...

"Where'd he go?" Matthew hissed at Numair when he emerged from the tent. "Where did that bastard run off to?"

"Matthew, we don't know... if we knew we'd be out there after him... I swear its..."

"You're a mage aren't you?" Matthew interjected. "What about scrying? Can't you bloody find him?"

"Matthew don't you think we've tried?"

"Not hard enough!"

Matthew stormed away, subconsciously walking to where they had found Ivy. As soon as he realized where he had walked to, he slammed fist after fist into the nearest tree trunk. His knuckles bled, tears leaked from his eyes and he eventually collapsed against the trunk.

"You bastard!" He yelled. "I'll kill you! I'll bloody kill you!" He didn't realize the heat gathering around his body, didn't notice the trunk become suddenly scorching hot and start to crumble away into ash….

"Numair!" Alanna said, looking over to a blaze of fire a little way from the camp. "Numair!"

"What?" Numair said, turning to look to where Alanna was pointing. He stared. "Tell me that's not Matthew…"

"I think it is…" Alanna said quietly. "Come on!"

Numair stared at her. "Alanna! Are you mad? He's probably fully transformed! You can't possibly expect to be able to get near him without burning to death!"

"I can and I do!" Alanna snapped.

"I really don't recommend it Alanna!" Numair warned, looking at the blaze that was now much larger. "He'll burn you up! Ivy's the only one who can get anywhere near him right now, and quite frankly she's in no fit state to be running into a blaze with a fully transformed Pyro in a rage about his soulmate being raped!"

"Are you a mage or not Numair?" Alanna hissed. "We don't have to get near Matthew! We just have to stop the fire from spreading! Unless you plan on risking the whole of our army by just sitting here?"

"No of course not! But…"

"No buts!"

"But… it'll drain so much…"

"I said no buts!"

"We'll hardly be able to control it Alanna!"

"Well we'll just have to pray the Gods aren't in a stress with us then won't we?"

Numair sighed and followed Alanna as she began to run towards the blaze. He sent up a silent prayer to Pyroma… Matthew had said she was the Goddess he had met… perhaps she was watching him… if she wasn't, they were in trouble….

Fire seemed to surround her. Everywhere she looked, there was flame. Somewhere in the midst of it all she could hear a voice that sounded familiar, but she couldn't work out who it was… they were shouting… in pain… she had to get there… Ivy stumbled blindly through a forest of flame, her eyes watering and stinging, every part of her body sweating from the heat. Finally she stumbled into a clearing and when she recognized it, despite the heat, she felt her blood chill. The memory of the place brought back pain to every part of her being… why was she here? Then she noticed the figure at the bottom of a tree, bursting into flame, blue fire sprouting from his skin. Ivy fell against another tree. Why was Matthew here? Ivy could catch small phrases of what he was saying words such as 'bastard', 'rapist' and 'traitor' seemed to be the most popular. Something drew Ivy over to him and she fell to the grass, which was bathed in a blue glow. She reached out a hand and hesitantly placed it on his shoulder. It didn't burn. Blue flames seemed to go through it without touching her. Matthew turned to her, but his eyes were glowing orange and Ivy had to force herself not to pull back.

"Ivy!" He said quietly. "I'll make him pay I swear! He'll pay! I hate him!" Suddenly the flames died and she was pulled against his sweaty torso, held tightly in his arms as fire blazed around them.

"I'll make him pay…" Matthew repeated into her hair as the fire began to die down. "I love you… I'll make him pay, I promise!"

Ivy couldn't move. She was frozen in his arms. The last time someone had been this close to her… it didn't bare thinking about… the smell of sweat on his skin revolted her, but Ivy couldn't move… Matthew's hand cupped the back of her head and he held her even tighter… Ivy felt bile rising in her throat… she couldn't stand this… he was too close… with her last reserves of strength she pushed him away from her and rolled away, scrabbling to her feet and running back through the blazing fire. A cry of anguish split the air and a fresh wave of heat and fire knocked Ivy off her feet into blackness…

She was in her bed… she hadn't even moved… but she was sweating and feverish. Nealan of Queenscove stood beside her bed with a look of concentration on his face as he sent healing gift into her. She lay frozen… she didn't like the face that a man she hardly knew was standing beside her bed with his hand on her shoulder… especially not after that day… She wasn't sure if it was the healing, or the memory of her ordeal, but she suddenly lurched sideways and retched over the side of the bed. Nealan gave her a small smile.

"You'll be fine… give it a couple of days and you'll be up and running…" Ivy couldn't help but notice the look of concern in his eyes. They weren't smiling…

The tent flap opened and Ivy covered her eyes in shock. Orange blazed in front of her and she could hardly see.

"Ivy!" Numair said, running over to the bed. "Ivy… Matthew's out of control… we need you to come and sort it out…"

"Numair!" Nealan said. "I really don't recommend it! She needs rest! And…"

"Unless you want us all to burn alive then we need her to come and help!" Numair snapped. He looked at his niece and took her hand. "Ivy… you know I wouldn't ask you to do anything while you were meant to be healing unless it was urgent don't you?"

Ivy hesitated, then nodded.

"And you know you'll need to rest when we've sorted it out right?"

She nodded again. Numair squeezed her hand briefly, then helped her out of the bed. Ivy was relieved that she didn't feel threatened by him… she could hardly walk, she needed the support on her way to wherever Matthew was…. She had a sickening feeling she knew already where… she was right. Numair led her directly to where Ivy had gone in her dream… or vision… he had put a spell over her eyes so that she couldn't be blinded or burnt, but it didn't stop her eyes watering from the heat as she looked at Matthew, blazing with fire and writhing with pain. It frightened her… he'd learnt to control himself hadn't he?

"Ivy," Numair said quietly, "You need to go over to him… I can't go any closer… just calm him down… I know you're scared after what happened, but you need to stop him going crazy." He squeezed her shoulders briefly, before releasing his hold on her and stepping backwards, away from Ivy and away from the blaze of fire that was Matthew. Ivy took a deep breath and lifted a leg. All of a sudden the world spun… it was too soon… she was too tired… she needed rest… then she saw Matthew, writhing on the floor, screaming in pain and hatred. She had to help him. Stumbling slightly, she somehow managed to reach him. She was glad for Numair's spell protecting her, for even with its protection, she could still feel the flames licking at her as she fell ungracefully to her knees beside Matthew. She hesitated for a moment, her hand hovering a few inches above his shoulder. She didn't know how to touch him… what if he was like Gavin..? What if he hurt her? _No, _she rationalized, _this is Matthew, not Gavin… he loves you… he wouldn't ever hurt you! _Still hesitant, but slightly more confident, she placed her hand on his shoulder, feeling the heat and damp sweat on his skin.

"Matthew…" she whispered. The fire seemed to die down slightly, and Ivy went on. "Matthew…?" slowly, hesitantly, she turned him onto his back. Instantly she drew her hand away… she couldn't see the pupils of his eyes, and they glowed a bright orange. Ivy gulped and tried to scramble backwards. He looked different from her Matthew… he wasn't the man that had told her he loved her. He was someone else… his hair was matted with sweat, his usually brown skin was red with fire... every part of him was different to how she had grown used to see him… then suddenly she noticed the medallion round his neck, glistening in the firelight… something about it gave her the confidence to place her hand back on his arm, reach a hand out and take the medallion in her fingers.

"Matthew…" she whispered, blinking back tears. "Come back… please come back… I'm ok… just come back…" There was a large blaze, then suddenly, the fire that had been beginning to spread disappeared, and Matthew returned to normal, albeit sweaty and gasping for breath. A wave of relief swept over Ivy as Matthews eyes fluttered open to reveal their familiar blue colour. Ivy smiled weakly, then reached a shaking hand out to take one of Matthew's own. For a second, he seemed to stare blankly at her, then he smiled and weakly brought one of her hands to his lips.

"You're ok…" he murmured quietly. Ivy nodded, unsure of what to say. "I thought you were… gone…" he drew in a shuddering breath, then carried on. "I'll make him pay Ivy… I swear… he can't… he won't… get away with it…"

Ivy shook her head. "It's… not important…" she said. She jumped as without warning his arms reached out and wrapped around her waist. "Matthew…" she started, feeling suddenly ill. "No… Matthew… please don't!"

"Don't what…?" Matthew said, his usually comforting grip on her waist feeling like an iron-grip.

"Matthew please!" Ivy said, tears streaming from her eyes. "Please let go… I can't…"

"Ivy…" he murmured. "You said you were ok…"

"Matthew just… please Matthew… just let go…" Ivy wiped her eyes and scrambled to her feet, stumbling out of the clearing with tears streaming from her eyes… Numair looked at her as she ran past, but let her go… she needed to be alone. He'd send Alanna to check on her later, right now Matthew needed to be moved and told of his new position as General.

She hated it. How could something that had once felt so beautiful, so loving, be turned so suddenly into something so foul, so dirty, so evil? How could she not stand to be touched by the man she loved? He was her soulmate… how could she not bare to have his hands on her waist? And how did anybody expect her to get through this? She'd been raped. There was too much pressure on her… how could they expect her to calm Matthew down, deal with being raped and still be able to bare someone touching her. It had only happened hours before… it wasn't even like she was being given time to get over it…

The tent flap opened and Alanna walked in, holding a cloth in one hand.

"Sit!" She ordered, pointing at the bed. Ivy sat, too tired to argue. She lifted a hand to wipe away the tears running down her face, but Alanna shook her head. "I've got it. Just sit down." She began to clean Ivy's face, saying nothing but calming Ivy all the same. When she was done, she put the cloth down and took her niece's hands.

"It's too much isn't it?" She said plainly.

Ivy nodded. "I can't stand it…" she whispered, fighting back more tears. "I couldn't bare to even touch him… he's my soulmate and I can't stand to touch him…"

"Shhhhhh…" Alanna said. "It's natural Ivy… you've just had one of the most terrible things that can be done, done to you… you aren't expected to be over it instantly."

"But he didn't understand… he sounded so confused… like he didn't understand why… he's like a kid again… I can't stand it…"

"Ivy, he's just tired, confused… you remember what he was like before… he couldn't stand anyone else touching you? This is like that, only ten times worse. You and Matthew aren't just normal lovers Ivy, you've got a special bond. He feels all of your pain as anger against the person who caused you it. He can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you… but it's not just the soulmate thing. He's in love with you. He's feeling exactly the same as any other man would when he found out someone did that to there girlfriend. He wants revenge… his prides hurt… He will understand Ivy… just give him time… he'll stop being like this soon, just let him recover…" Alanna kissed Ivy's forehead gently. "As for you… you need to get some rest. In two weeks I'm taking you home."

Two weeks later, Matthew was sat on the bank of a river, looking longingly into the water and wanting to drown in it. Everything had changed so suddenly. Gavin had raped Ivy. Matthew had gone completely psychotic. Ivy hadn't spoken to him in two weeks except for when she left him in the clearing. Raoul was constantly pacing the camp in anger and frustration. Alanna seemed always to be looking after Ivy, with the occasional help of Nealan of Queenscove, which only made Matthew feel worse; how could he be expected to leave Ivy alone when a man Ivy hardly knew kept visiting her - on his own - for hours at a time. The fact that Jonathan had decided to elect him as General only made things worse. Men kept approaching him for instructions and orders, and Matthew could only wave a hand airily and point out some random job that was not important. He couldn't think straight, and the stress of being a General only pressed harder on his mind. Matthew watched as a fish darted through the water, chased by its mate, and felt empty, remembering when he and Ivy had swum together in the lake of the Royal Forest. After sneaking into her tent whilst Nealan went to the latrine the night before, Matthew had seen the difference Ivy's ordeal had had on her. She wasn't the confident person she used to be, even in her sleep she seemed to look different. Matthew had watched her sleep many times, and she always, always, always used to have a smile on her face. Now the smile had been replaced by a frown, the beautifully fanned hair on her pillow replaced with cold-sweat-soaked hair. Something had disappeared from her. A part of her was missing. He'd have called it her innocence, but that wasn't the right word… her inexperience with life had gone. She'd grown up too fast in just a few weeks. Being raped had forced her to deal with things she shouldn't have had to deal with… and Matthew couldn't help but shake the feeling of guilt from his shoulders. It was his fault Ivy was like this. He knew it, even if nobody else would admit their opinions on the matter. He'd been rivals with Gavin, hated him, provoked him in any way possible, and now he had paid in the worst way possible. His soulmate, the one person in the world that meant something important to him, was raped because of him. And now she was going home. Back to Tortall. He couldn't help but feel relief. She would be safer in Tortall, she would be in familiar territory, she could overcome her ordeal. Matthew would have to let her do it alone. He couldn't go with her, and she couldn't stay with him. And if he was honest with himself, right now, their relationship seemed dead. He knew that it wasn't Ivy's fault. She'd been raped. He could never expect her to overcome something so terrible quickly. Yet he still felt a certainty that something was gone that could never be set right, that there was something in their relationship, which had made it so pure and perfect before, missing from it now… and he didn't know if they would ever be the same again. He had to face reality. She was going home now, and he was staying away, at war, where every day it grew more likely that they would be killed. Sometimes he doubted if he would make the next day, and without Ivy's confidence, her encouragement, he wasn't sure he wanted to. He wanted Ivy. That was the real problem. He wanted Ivy to touch, kiss and make love to him. And she wouldn't. He couldn't blame her… maybe if he were killed, it would make it all easier for Ivy to move on… Matthew didn't know what he was thinking anymore. He just hoped that whatever happened would happen soon. He couldn't live with thinking she loved him if she didn't, or thinking he would see her again, if he wouldn't.

**That was the most rambling thing I have ever written… shall this be deleted? Tell! I'm thinking it should!**


	28. All My Fault

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

Ivy was sat in Thunders saddle, waiting for Alanna to join her so that she could go home. She'd hardly spoken to anyone but her Aunt for the past two weeks. To Nealan of Queenscove she had only answered his questions of 'how are you feeling?' with okay, even though they both knew she was far from okay. Her father had spoken to her several times, but Ivy had been too tired on all occasions to say much more than few sentences. Her Uncles had decided to stay away, and she was secretly grateful. She couldn't deal with having to talk to them. Too much was going on in her head. Alanna had carried verbal messages for her from all of her Uncles, which Ivy had replied to as simply as possible. Matthew hadn't visited. He hadn't told Alanna to tell her anything, and Ivy felt enormous guilt, knowing that it was her fault. She had told him not to touch her. She couldn't expect him to visit. Now, sat in the saddle and waiting to go home to months of waiting nervously to find out if Matthew had been killed, she wanted him to come over and see her, to kiss her goodbye... she didn't know how she would react if he did, but she wanted to have some reassurance that there was still something of their relationship left. She could see him, at the top of the hill which overlooked the camp. He was leaning against a tree, with his arms crossed over his chest. Ivy felt a twitch in her feet. She wanted to ride up and see him... she wanted to talk to him... she'd made up her mind. She took the reins and was about to kick Thunder into a gallop when Alanna's voice sounded from behind her.

"Ivy, are you ready?"

Ivy looked back at her aunt, then back up at Matthew. For a brief second she thought he was looking in her direction, then she blinked, and he was once again facing the other direction. "I..." she hesitated. "What about Matthew?" she asked quietly, looking her aunt in the eyes.

Alanna looked at her for a few seconds. "Do you want to say goodbye?" she said eventually.

Ivy hesitated again, then nodded.

Alanna nodded slowly. "Alright. I'll stay down here. Shout if you..." she didn't finish. Ivy had already kicked Thunder into a gallop and was heading up the hill.

Ivy closed her eyes as Thunder headed steadily up the hill. The wind blew in her hair and for a few seconds, as she sat with her eyes closed, she could forget what she'd been through... the feel of Thunder stopping brought Ivy back to reality. She opened her eyes and looked over at the tree, ten metres away, where Matthew stood, tall and blonde, just like she'd always known him. He looked at her with a sense of longing, mixed with regret, then he looked away back at the camp. Ivy bit her lip, then slowly dismounted. She walked over slowly, until she was within arms reach of him. He was still facing the other way, but she knew he was waiting for her to do something, waiting to see if she could bring herself to touch him. She bit her lip harder. She had to. She needed to tell him how she felt. He needed to know... she couldn't go home knowing that he was in danger of dying any day without letting him know how she felt. Slowly, she lifted a hand and rested it gently on his shoulder. For a second, she expected Matthew to turn round and be Gavin, then she felt the warmth of his skin, the familiar solidity of his muscle, the slight indent just on his shoulder that was a scar he had earnt in his years as a Squire. Her fingers traced it, just how he liked her to do. Matthew turned round to look at her, tears glistening in his eyes. Ivy looked at him carefully, making sure it really was him and that she wasn't just having some beautiful dream that was all about to go wrong. She looked at him for several minutes, her hand still resting aimlessly on his shoulder. It was only when his hand covered hers and brought it to his lips that she was sure it really was Matthew and not someone else. Nobody would ever be able to copy Matthews lips, no matter how hard they tried. Tears poured from her eyes and she fell forwards into Matthew's arms, sobbing hysterically into his shirt. Matthew held her for several seconds, in utter shock, then pulled her gently closer to him, holding her lovingly in his arms and resting his cheek on her head as she continued to cry. He said nothing as his own tears trickled silently down his face, into her soft brown hair. He couldn't help but feel at home, once more holding the woman he loved in his arms...

* * *

Alanna watched the reunion from the bottom of the hill. She still couldn't get over how obviously made for each other the two were. People said that she and George were made for each other, but she didn't think that even they had been so obviously devoted and in love with one another after only a few months. She looked away and summoned her Gift. Jonathan owed her a favour.

* * *

Matthew gently lowered Ivy to the ground. He'd held her for just over twenty minutes, and she was still sobbing. She wasn't quite as hysterical, but there were still moments when her body would shudder and she would let out a rattling gasp, then several more sobs. He leant back against the tree trunk, his arms still around her, rocking her gently against him. Several minutes later, Ivy looked up at him and drew back slightly. He didn't try and pull her back... he didn't want to scare her.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered quietly.

Matthew managed a smile. "It's fine..."

"You're all wet though..."

Matthew shrugged. "This shirts dirty anyway..." it wasn't. It had been clean on that morning, but he didn't care. He couldnt make her feel bad. Not after what she'd been through.

They were silent for a few minutes, then Matthew reached out hesitantly and put a hand under Ivy's chin. "I love you." he said quietly. When Ivys chin trembled, Matthew shook his head. "Don't say anything if you dont want to." he murmured. "I just want you to know, before you leave, that I do love you... I always will."

Ivy nodded. "I love you too..." she whispered, then hesitantly reached out to take the medallion that hung round his neck. Matthew smiled. He liked it when she did that. He watched as she ran her fingers over the interlinked letters, then tilted her chin up slightly.

"Tell me if I'm moving too fast..." Matthew murmured, then leant forwards, pressing his lips lightly to hers.

* * *

"Come on Jon, Raoul can cover for a few weeks. Have a heart." Alanna spoke into the purple flame waiting for a response.

"I have a heart, Lioness. I can't risk leaving you and Matthew out of battle. You are two of our most skilled fighters, I can't do having both of you back here! I want to let him come back and spend time with her, but I can't risk my realms welfare!"

"Jonathan, it's for two weeks, you don't think he'll be working hard over the next few weeks do you? Not until he and Ivy are sorted and resolved will he make any difference to the army. They need to sort this out, he's more a danger to the realm if you keep him away from her. If he goes pyrotic Gods know what he'll do!"

"I am quite aware of the situation Lioness! But my word is final…"

"To hell with your word!" Alanna cut in. "It doesn't make the slightest bit of difference sire, if you think it's dangerous to take Matthew out of battle, we both know it's more dangerous to leave him in!"

"Lioness…"

"And don't Lioness me! Numair would tell you straight out its dangerous to leave their relationship in tatters, so don't try and lecture me Jonathan! It won't work! I'm bringing Matthew home with or without your consent. Hang me from the battlements if you will, but I'm still bringing him and Ivy back!"

* * *

Ivy was frozen as he held her, his warm lips pressed gently to hers. At first, she wanted to pull away, anything to stop him reminding her of Gavin and how he had treated her, then she felt him hesitate, and knew instantly that she didn't want him to pull away from her. Slowly she relaxed into his hold, letting him deepen the kiss slightly. Matthew was careful not to push it. He didn't want to scare her away from him, not when he had just got her back. He slowly moved his hands so that one cradled the back of her head, while the other pressed gently into the small of her back. He felt elation well up inside of him. There was only one word to describe what he was feeling. Heaven. That was what it was; like floating way above the war camp, forgetting everything that had happened in the last two weeks. He was back where he wanted to be; where he was used to being… in Ivy's arms… it was almost as though he forgot himself, and for those few minutes as he kissed her, everything seemed to be alright…

* * *

"You said what?"

"You heard me the first time Raoul!"

Raoul stared down at the small copper haired woman in front of him. He couldn't believe his ears. "You just told the King that you were going to disobey his orders to keep Matthew here?"

"Yes!" Alanna said plainly.

"But…" Raoul stared. "That's just madness! He could have your head!"

"And he'll be a champion shorter if he does! Trust me Raoul; I know what I'm doing. We can't separate them yet. Ask Numair, he'll tell you straight out."

"I'm not arguing with you about that!" Raoul snapped. "I'm arguing with you about disobeying Jon! You could manipulate him into saying yes, you know how to make him squirm, don't just disobey him outright!"

"Raoul, he's not stupid, he knows I'm right, he's not going to tell me off for looking out for Tortall. Trust me on this, I know what I'm doing!"

Raoul shook his head. "I do trust you Alanna… but without you and Matthew our camps in danger. We need you." he put his hands on his friends shoulders. "Don't be gone long, ok?"

* * *

Her head rested on his chest. Her tears had finally subsided, and she lay there, listening to the steady beating of Matthew's heart. She'd missed him. She hadn't realized how much until he had kissed her. Then she had known almost instantly. She couldn't have bared to leave without saying goodbye to him, without fixing their relationship… she looked up to see that Matthew was watching her carefully, a look of love and adoration in his eyes. She blushed slightly and looked down, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes with content. Matthew smiled, and rested his head lightly on hers, whispering in her ear.

"You're beautiful…" he murmured, gently brushing her forehead with his lips.

Ivy said nothing, but smiled, nuzzling slightly closer into his neck. Matthew sat up slightly, resting his back against the trunk of the tree. Ivy snuggled still closer to his side, rubbing her nose on his shoulder. There was the sound of feet breaking twigs, and Matthew raised his head slightly to see Alanna walking up the hill. He looked down at Ivy with regret. She was leaving… in the last half an hour, he'd managed to forget that she had to return to Corus, and he had to stay here… away from her… he blinked back tears… he couldn't cry… Ivy needed him to be strong… he had to be… for her. He slowly got up and helped Ivy to her feet, then took her hand as they walked over to Alanna.

"Matthew, go and get some things packed." Alanna said firmly.

Matthew frowned. "But… why?"

"You're coming too. Now hurry up."

Matthew looked at her, then kissed Ivy lightly on the cheek before running down the hill to his tent… he was going with them… he could have some more time with Ivy… he smiled to himself and, without thinking, cart-wheeled and back-flipped over a fallen tree trunk and the remains of the previous nights fire. Several of the men sat around the camp cast him odd glances, but he didn't care what they thought. He might be their General; it didn't mean he wasn't allowed to be happy…

* * *

"Matthew's coming?" Ivy said, watching him jog down the hill, and smiling as he flipped over the trunk of a tree.

"Yes…" Alanna said. "We're leaving in an hour. Go and say goodbye to everyone." She turned and walked away. Ivy frowned. Alanna was leaving something out… she could tell. She shook her head and headed down the hill, looking for Raoul and her Uncles.

* * *

Matthew shoved a few shirts and pairs of breeches in his shoulder-sack, as well as a silk-wrapped package that a friend has asked him to deliver. He only put it in as a second thought. He was too happy to think much. He couldn't believe it! He didn't have to say goodbye to her yet… he could spend a few more precious days with her… he ignored the voice in his head that told him he wouldn't have an easier deal in a week when he had to say goodbye, if anything it would be harder… he wasn't going to think about that now. The tent flap opened and Matthew looked up to see Ivy walking in. He smiled at her, then tightened the cord on his bag before walking over and putting his hands on her shoulders.

"You are ok aren't you?" he asked quietly, putting one hand under her chin and tilting it to look at her.

Ivy nodded. "I'm fine…" she hugged him briefly, then pulled back. "I'm going to go and say bye…" she stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek before walking out. Matthew sighed and picked up his bag before walking to the stables to saddle Magic.

* * *

"Dad, I'll be fine." Ivy repeated, as her father hugged her a final time.

Raoul smiled. "I know, but it doesn't stop me worrying…"

Ivy smiled back, then climbed into the saddle. "You worry too much." She leaned over and kissed Raoul's cheek. Motioning in Matthew's direction she said. "I've got a big strong knight looking after me anyway."

Raoul nodded. "I know. You'll be fine… just write as soon as you're home!" he squeezed her hand gently. "Take care of yourself." Raoul moved away, heading towards Matthew.

"You look after her, Matthew. And Alanna too."

Matthew nodded. "I will. Don't worry…"

"Matthew! Ivy! Come on! We're leaving!" Alanna called from about ten metres ahead, jumping into the saddle after several minutes of saying goodbye to George.

Matthew grinned. "Or maybe Alanna will be taking care of me!"

* * *

It took five days to get back to Corus, by which time Ivy and Matthew were, in Alanna's opinion, almost completely back to normal. There were still odd moments when Ivy would give Matthew the cold shoulder, but they were usually reconciled after an hour or two, which Alanna could only be thankful for. When they arrived in Corus, it was to find Jonathan waiting for them in his study. A guard had been sent immediately to bring them to him as soon as they arrived. Alanna entered the study, knowing full well what was going to be said, while Matthew and Ivy entered feeling apprehensive, and unsure of what to do. They found out almost instantly. After being told to sit down and offered drinks, Jonathan looked across at Alanna.

"You disobeyed me Lioness." He said calmly.

Both Matthew and Ivy frowned and stared at Alanna, who was meeting the Kings gaze evenly.

"With good reason, Majesty." She said calmly, not looking away.

"You do know I could hang you for treason."

"Yes, Majesty. I know."

"And you know also that no amount of friendship with the Monarch of the day can counter your disobedience?"

"Yes, Majesty."

"Good…" there was silence for a moment, as Jonathan swirled the contents of his glass and Matthew and Ivy tried to take in what had been said.

"You know Lioness, if it wasn't for Numair – one of the most established Mages of the day – also being of the same opinion as you on the matter, I would have had to do my duty as King and hang you."

"I'm aware of it, Majesty." Alanna said calmly.

Jonathan looked at her carefully for a few seconds. "In which case…" he said finally, "I will, on this occasion, forgive your disobedience, as it seems you were looking out for the best interests of the people of Tortall. I cannot begrudge one of my Knights for wanting to protect my people from danger. However, Lioness, I cannot pretend that another disobedience, such as this one, will be allowed to slide so easily."

"Of course, Majesty." Alanna said stiffly.

Jonathan nodded. "You're excused Lioness."

"Thank you, Majesty." Alanna stood, bowed, then headed for the door.

"Oh and Alanna," Jonathan called after her retreating back, "thank you for bringing them safely home."

Alanna nodded, then bowed and left the room.

* * *

"What had she done?" Matthew asked, almost as soon as the door had closed.

Jonathan smiled slightly, "I'll be honest with you Matthew, I didn't think it a good idea you coming back, not when you had just been appointed General. I forbade Alanna to bring you here. Luckily for me, she disobeyed, Numair agreed with her theory, and…."

"What theory?" Matthew frowned.

"A theory concerning the effects of separation from Ivy so shortly after reconciliation on your Pyrotic frequencies." He held up a hand to stop Matthew talking. "Now as I was saying, luckily for me, Alanna had the nerve to disobey, Numair agreed with her theory, and I have the chance to speak to the two of you in person, rather than through a speech spell."

Matthew glanced at Ivy, wondering if she knew what her Uncle wanted to speak about, but the blank look on her face told him that she was as clueless as he himself.

Jonathan looked carefully at the two of them for several seconds. "There is no easy way of saying this," he started. "If there were a way that would not seem quite so blunt and to the point I would use it, but it appears that there is no trace of Gavin of Stone Mountain anywhere."

Matthew felt Ivy stiffen, even though he couldn't see her and was not touching her. He himself clenched his fists under the table, closing his eyes and trying to get rid of the sudden anger roaring in his chest, desperately fighting to stop fire erupting round him. It was the familiar hand on his shoulder that killed the flames. Instantly, Matthew could feel the anger ebbing away… he opened his eyes and smiled weakly at Ivy. Jonathan watched with concern for a few seconds, and then continued.

"Our spies have been through the whole of the camp, and there is no trace of him there. Others have been placed in Carthak, and he has not entered there. Of course its possible that he knows where the spies are planted, being the General of the army he had been told these things, but its possible that he has just decided to live elsewhere. He and Rageo might have planned something, though our spies haven't been able to find any evidence." He took a sip of his drink. "We're doing all we can to find him, and as soon as we do, he'll be dealt with severely. I cannot say how sorry I am for what happened Ivy. After four years having Gavin as my Squire, I thought I knew him. If I had had any idea what he was capable of… I'm so sorry."

Matthew looked across at Ivy, who was biting her lip very hard. Instinctively, he reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently between his own.

Ivy smiled weakly at him, then looked at Jonathan. "It's fine…" she whispered. "Can I be excused?"

Jonathan nodded. Ivy stood up and walked to the door. Matthew went to follow, but Jonathan shook his head. "I need to talk to you."

Matthew thought about disobeying, feeling no inclination whatsoever to leave Ivy alone right now, but sat down on his chair again.

"Now that you've been appointed General…"

* * *

An hour and a half later, Matthew left the kings study, his head swimming with battle plans that Jonathan had thought up and shown to him. Looking around, he tried to think where Ivy would have gone. His first thought was that she would have gone to see Buri. He took a left down the corridor, then headed to the adults wing of the palace, where Raoul and Buri's rooms were situated. He knocked on the door, and received a hug from Buri, but was told that Ivy had left half an hour ago. Matthew nodded, thanked Buri, then ran off towards the practice courts. Ivy wasn't there either, but the two Pages that Matthew had seen the a few days before going to war were, and they pleaded with him desperately to help them with their sword technique, and to tell them all about the war. Matthew would have much rather gone to find Ivy, but he sensed that she needed some privacy, and so, begrudgingly, he began to help the Pages.

* * *

Ivy could see Matthew teaching the Pages from her window and smiled. She knew he didn't want to be there; it was obvious to her, even from this distance, that he wanted to be somewhere else. The way his shoulders were slumped ever so slightly, the way he constantly ran his fingers through his hair as though he were agitated, told Ivy he was not enjoying himself. She was thankful though, that he hadn't raced to her immediately, she still wasn't completely over her ordeal, and there were times, like just now, when she needed time and space to be alone. Soon, she told herself, she would go down to the courts and talk to him…

* * *

Matthew sighed as the two Pages begged him yet again to tell them about the war. He'd agreed to teaching them to improve their sword technique, but so far he had managed to avoid the subject of the war, even when the two of them had begged for a break and a tale about the war. Now he didn't have an excuse. They'd been going non-stop at practice fighting for two hours. They deserved a break, and they wanted to know about the war… he sighed and walked over to the corner of the courts, slumping down to the ground and bringing one leg up to his chest, while the other stayed straight. The two boys ran over and sat down, eagerness glinting in their eyes. Matthew sighed to himself, their vision of war was of glory and winning… and he was just about to ruin that vision for them. The taller of the two, Jeremy, who was tanned to a dark brown with blonde hair, was the first to ask questions.

"What's it like?" he asked eagerly.

Matthew sighed. This was going to be hard… how could he possibly tell two Pages that a Knights life wasn't all it was cracked up to be? They were only eleven; they didn't have to hear all the horror stories that made up a war.

"Are there loads of dead people? Is there blood everywhere? Do you eat the dead for supper?"

Matthew suddenly felt a raging anger in his chest. How could this kid possibly be excited about death and blood? How could he possibly think that any human being was sick enough to cook their dead enemies?

"Yes. There are dead people. Yes. There's blood. It's like hell. It's not just your enemies on the floor, it's your friends, people you've talked to, people you care about! One minute they're standing next to you, cracking a joke, the next they're lying on the floor dead, while you're still standing, watching people you know drop down all around you. It's not great and glorious seeing friends die, it's one of the worst things that can ever happen to you. And the worst thing is, it doesn't end with the bodies. After the battles, after all those people are killed, you have to get up and go and sort the dead from the wounded, the enemy from your team. You have to carry bleeding men to the healing tent, listening to them begging you to kill them and make it quick. You have to drag dead bodies to a ditch where they can be buried, or a fire where they can be burnt. And then when you go to sleep at night, all you can hear are the cries of pain and agony. And then it carries on for ages. And you want it to end. You just want to get out. You find yourself begging to die, wanting to get it over with, because you know it'll be less painful that seeing so many friends die around you, it'll be so much more peaceful without all of those wounded men screaming out to be killed."

Jeremy's face had slowly fallen. With each sentence that Matthew had spoken, he had grown paler. The boy next to him sat staring, as though about to cry. Suddenly Matthew regretted it. What had he done? They were going to have nightmares for weeks now… how could he possibly have been so stupid?

The other boy, Liam, looked at Matthew. "My Dad… Owen of Jesslaw… did you know him?"

Matthew stared. This was Owen's son? Matthew nodded slowly. "I knew him, briefly." He bit his lip. He couldn't tell Liam what had happened… he couldn't let him know…

"Who found him?" Liam asked carefully, on the brink of tears.

Matthew swallowed. "I… I found him…" he said quietly. He looked up to meet the boy's eyes, and was glad to see that Jeremy had decided to leave. He didn't have to hear this.

Liam was crying silently, tears running down his cheeks fast. "Was he alive? When you found him… was he still alive?"

Matthew felt his eyes stinging. He hadn't told anyone this… nobody else even knew that Matthew had found him. He nodded slowly. "Yes…" Matthew said, his voice little more than a whisper. "He was alive…"

Liam was crying heavily now, Matthew could tell it was taking every ounce of courage he had to keep talking. "Did he say anything?"

Matthew looked at the floor and nodded. He hesitated, then got to his feet. "Come on…" he said quietly… "I've got to show you something…"

* * *

Matthew was glad Ivy wasn't in his room when he and Liam reached it. He didn't want her there, not now. This was going to be hard on Liam, he didn't want him to have to deal with Ivy being there too. He walked over to the bag he had brought with him and pulled out a silk-wrapped package. He squatted and handed it to Liam who was sat on the bed.

"Your Dad told me to give you this." He said quietly. "He told me to tell you he was proud of you and that you'd make a great Knight." Matthew took in a deep breath, then went on. "He said he wanted you to have this. It's magic and it'll show you when people are using illusion charms." Matthew gave a watery grin. "He said to tell you it was great for catching bandits who are terrible actors too."

Liam looked at Matthew for a second then, much to Matthews shock, he hugged him, and began sobbing into his shoulder. Matthew froze for a second, then patted the boy on the back gently. Liam pulled away and moved a lock of brown hair from in front of his eyes.

"And he said you had to have this too." Matthew said, pulling a piece of parchment from his pocket. It was slightly yellow, and Matthew managed a small apologetic smile. "I didn't know when I'd meet you, so I've been carrying it around for me ever since." He looked carefully at the young boy, who sat shamelessly crying in front of a full knight. It was more than Matthew could have handled, of that he was sure.

"You know… I'm going to have to leave here in a few weeks, but if you need anything then… just come and find me… and if you want anything when I'm gone, just write… or come and see Ivy, she'll be here… I'm sure she'll help you out if you need anything…"

Liam nodded and stood up. "Thank you." he said quietly, then left.

* * *

Ivy returned to the corridor where Matthew's rooms were to see a small boy with brown hair leaving, tears streaming down his face. She didn't recognize him, and watched as he disappeared down the hall, unwrapping something that seemed to be wrapped in silk. Entering the room, she saw Matthew sat at the end of his bed with his head in his hands. She watched him in shock, then walked over and placed a hand on his back. When he lifted his head, she was shocked to see tears leaking from his eyes.

"Matthew… what's wrong…?"

Matthew bit his lip… "Owen… Owen of Jesslaw… that was his son… I found him Ivy…when he was dying, I found him… and all he wanted me to do was give a letter and a package to his son… he made me get them Ivy… he made me leave him and get them. He wouldn't let me heal him… he just wanted to know I'd give them to his son… it's my fault he's dead… I could have healed him… I could have let him give it to his son…I got back and he was dead… he's dead because of me…just like you got raped because of me… everything I touch just gets messed up…"

Ivy shook her head. "That's not true." She said firmly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "You did what he wanted… it wasn't your fault." She wrapped her arms around him. He seemed to hesitate, then he pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck.

"I'm sorry I messed up…" he whispered.

"You haven't messed up…" Ivy said back, blinking away tears, "You haven't messed up…"

* * *

"_I knew someone would find me…" Owen smiled. "I need… a favour…" his breath rattled. "There's a silk package… in my tent… under my pillow… and a letter… make sure Liam gets them… he has to get them… tell him I'm proud of him… tell him it'll show him… illusions… make sure he gets them… go and get them, now… please… I'm begging you… I want to know my son will get them… just put me down… and get them… its important…"_

_Matthew nodded slowly and lowered the dying man to the floor. "He'll get them… just let me heal you first… you can give them to him… I can sort this out… just…"_

"_No!" Owen whispered. "Get them… I won't make it now… I've lost too much blood… a lot of time with Kel… I know I've lost too much… please… get them… give them to my son…"_

_Matthew nodded, blinking back tears. "Mithros and the Goddess bless you Owen…"_

_He ran to Owens tent and moved the pillow, grabbing the dirty piece of parchment and the silk package. Then he sprinted out of the tent, towards Owen… he stopped. Kel was there, hugging her friend and –for once- her Yamani mask had failed. She was crying. Matthew was too late. Owen was dead._

_**

* * *

Hope you like it…. It may seem random at the moment but there is a reason for it I assure you**_

_**Reviews please!**_

_**Mage of the Heart **_


	29. Love and Letters

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

Matthew woke up sweating and feeling sick. The memories of the day of Owens death had plagued his mind for the last two weeks, ever since finding out who Liam was. He hadn't slept properly in all that time, and was lacking in energy. He would be going home in a week. He couldn't carry on sleeping like this… it would kill him. He rolled out of the bed, pulling on a shirt and looking at Ivy, sleeping quietly in the bed. They were sleeping in the same bed again now, but their relationship was still not back to normal. They were not making love which, however much he tried to pretend, was frustrating Matthew. He knew it was unfair to think like that after all that she had been through, but it still didn't help him feel less frustrated. Matthew left the room after putting his boots on, deciding to find a healer about his sleeping problems. Alanna had gone back to the war the week before, so instead he headed to the infirmary, where there was always someone on duty. Tonight it was a man named Philippe. He was about forty, with graying brown hair and brown eyes. He was short, and plump, so Matthew had to sit down on a chair in order to get a good look at him.

"Trouble sleeping, you say?" Philippe asked.

Matthew nodded.

"Anything troubling you? Any things plaguing your mind? Things you would rather forget…?"

Matthew looked down and nodded.

"In which case," Philippe said, "I would suggest these pills. They contain plenty of herbs that will help you sleep and another which will give you no dreams. Take one a night before going to bed, and see how it works." He handed over a small jar of pills. "If that fails, I suggest talking to someone about the… dreams… that you are having… can work miracles…"

Matthew nodded and left, walking back to his rooms and examining the small jar. The pills looked an almost mouldy green, and were about the size of a copper piece. He shuddered at the thought of swallowing them; he never was much good with pills.

Ivy was still sleeping when he got back to the room. He quietly put the pills on the desk, then sat at the bottom of the bed, watching her as she slept. He could never grow tired of it. She was beautiful. It was one of the amazing things about her; no matter how much he watched her, or how much time he spent with her, it was never enough… He walked round the side of the bed and leant down, kissing Ivy's forehead lightly and stroking the hair from her face. He hadn't been able to do that as much lately… he'd missed it. Matthew sighed and lay down beside Ivy, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. He knew he wouldn't sleep properly now, but he didn't care. He was content to sit here with Ivy's warm body next to his… it was more comforting than what awaited him in his dreams at any rate…

Ivy woke up to find Matthew watching her, one of his hands rested on her hair. She smiled at him.

"You're beautiful…" he whispered to her, stroking her cheek.

Ivy looked down. "I'm not…" she whispered back.

Matthew tilted up her head. "You are." He leant forward and pressed his lips lightly to hers. Ivy whimpered, and he jerked back instantly. "I'm sorry." He said instantly. "I didn't mean to scare you… I just…I'm sorry…"

"It's fine…" Ivy said quietly. "I just wasn't expecting it…" she looked up at him. "Hold me?"

Matthew looked at her for a second, then wrapped his arms around her, breathing in her scent and reveling in it. Her arms went round his back loosely, her hands rubbing his muscles gently.

"Matthew…" she murmured into his shirt.

"Mmm?"

"Do you still… do you think I'm… dirty…?"

Matthew drew back slowly. "Why would I think you were dirty?" he asked quietly, looking her in the eye and stroking her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Because of what happened… with Gavin… do you think you can touch me again?"

Matthew felt anger swell inside his chest. He pushed it down. "I'm touching you now aren't I?" he said quietly.

Ivy nodded. "But… I mean… like you used to?"

Matthew looked down at her carefully. "You mean… like…?"

Ivy nodded again.

Matthew nodded slowly. "I think so…" he tilted up her chin. "What Gavin did to you was disgusting. I hate him for it. But you aren't… you never could be… dirty." He kissed her forehead lightly. "I love you." he said quietly. "And nothing anybody –even Gavin- says or does, will ever, ever change that."

Ivy smiled weakly at him. "I love you too…" she buried her face in his shirt. Matthew tightened his hold on her, cupping her head in one of his hands. They lay like that for several minutes, then Ivy looked up at him.

"You don't think I'm dirty?" she asked again, quietly.

Matthew nodded. "That's right. And I never could."

Ivy looked down. "Will you…?"

"Will I what?" Matthew asked gently.

"Make love to me…" she whispered. "Will you make love to me?"

Matthew looked at her carefully. "Ivy… we can't… you were only raped a few weeks ago… you need to get over it… we can't… we shouldn't…"

"I am over it. You helped me get over it." She looked up to meet his eyes. "Maybe you're the one that's not over it…" she went to pull out of his grip.

"That's not true. I just don't want you to do this if you aren't ready to… I love you and we don't need to make love to show each other that do we?" He looked into her eyes and saw tears welling up in them.

"I do… I want to know you still love me… I keep thinking you'll walk out on me after what's happened… I want to know you love me as much as you say you do."

"Ivy…" Matthew whispered. "You know I do. I just want to know you're ready… you've been through so much already… I don't want you to feel pressured into this… I couldn't bare to think I pushed you into it…"

"You wouldn't have…" she whispered. "I am ready… I don't want you to go back without knowing how much I love you…"

Matthew looked at her. "Ivy… I don't need you to show me… I already know…"

Ivy shook her head. "Don't say anything… please? Just do this… for me?" Matthew didn't know if it was the pleading in her voice, or the fact that his whole body was longing for her touch, but he didn't say anything else, and leaned forward to press his lips gently to hers. Her lips were soft, slightly wet. One hand went to her waist and he rolled her onto her back, so that he was leaning over her, but not crushing her. Ivy's mouth opened slightly and Matthew moved his tongue in to meet hers. She hesitated slightly, and Matthew thought about pulling back, but her hands moved to the back of his head, as if sensing his hesitation, and she began to deepen the kiss. A groan escaped Matthew's lips. He kissed back passionately, his hands moving to the hem of her night-shirt, before drawing it up over Ivy's head. There was nothing but bare skin beneath it, and Matthew suddenly felt far too covered up. He took Ivy's hands and placed them on his chest. Ivy instantly began to undo the buttons of his shirt, and then slid it off his back, feeling the familiar bare muscles of his back, rippling as he moved. Minutes later, they were naked against each other, and, with a sense of comfort, Ivy let Matthew make love to her, feeling at complete ease in his arms….

Matthew woke up much later, with Ivy sleeping soundly with her head on his chest. He smiled and tilted his head slightly to look at her more closely. She was beautiful. A wave of regret passed through him. He would leave tomorrow. Once more he'd be thrown into the world of war, not knowing if he'd ever make it home to her again, not knowing if he'd ever be able to tell her how much he loved her. Maybe it was that thought that made him get up out of the bed and take the pouch of diamonds that Numair had made for what felt like years ago into the next room…

He watched as the man at the stall carefully welded the smallest of the diamonds onto the silver ring. Matthew knew the man thought he was a thief. No knights were supposed to be home from the war, and he was dressed in plain shirt and breeches, as well as a brown traveling coat to cover his sword. Even Magic was saddled in only the simplest tack. It was how Matthew had always dressed when he went to the city, and he didn't plan to change it, even though the man was giving him extremely accusive glares. Finally the man was done and handed the ring back to Matthew.

"Here. That'll be three gold nobles." Matthew thought about arguing. The man was obviously over-charging him, probably trying to see if he really was a thief or if he could actually afford it, though he doubted that he would trust him even when he had paid the amount. He handed over the three gold nobles. The man cast him a questioning glance, as if expecting Matthew to pull his hand back and run, then reached out and took the money. Matthew didn't bother to thank him for his time. He had better things to do, and quite frankly, he didn't think the man would appreciate his thanks. He whistled for Magic, who was now grazing behind the stall. He trotted over reluctantly, as if wanting to stay and eat the grass. The man at the stall continued to watch Matthew warily, and Matthew noticed that his hand was slowly getting closer and closer to the dagger at his belt. _What does he think I'm going to do to him? _Matthew thought. He didn't have time to think about the answer. Out of nowhere three men dressed in black shirts and breeches, appeared. All three of them were armed with knives. Matthew crouched slightly, as if preparing for them to attack. When they began to move in on him he flipped backward into the saddle, drawing his sword as he went. It was something he'd practiced for years as a Page and Squire, something that had earned him more cuts and bruises than all of the other put together, but Matthew had never been one to jump into the saddle clumsily and without style, he was, though he would never want to admit it, a man who liked to fight in style. The three men, now joined by the stall owner, closed in a circle around Magic with their knives. Matthew resisted the urge to grin. It was exactly what he had expected. They thought he was trapped… he smiled inwardly at how wrong they were… The man nearest to him –the stall owner- lifted his knife as if he planned to stab Matthew's leg. Matthew brought his sword round and knocked him on the back of the head with his hilt. Instantly the man crumpled and fell to the floor. Steering Magic with his legs, Matthew turned on the other three men. He was annoyed to see that most of the people in the market had now gathered to watch. There was too much of a chance that he would hurt them if he charged at the men here. Matthew studied the closest man carefully. He was of average height, and medium build, but he was obviously not to be underestimated. The way he spun his knives in his hands told Matthew that he knew what he was doing. The other two were taller, and of better build, but they were obviously clumsy with their weapons, and not as confident as the other. Matthew risked a quick glance over his shoulder. The road behind him was almost empty; there were less stalls in that direction. He turned back and caught one of the men's eyes. There was something of determination in his eyes. They weren't petty thieves wanting to steal his money, whoever they were, they had been sent there for a reason. Discreetly, Matthew nudged Thunder in the direction of the Palace and into a gallop. The men followed, as he knew they would. At the top of the road, Matthew flipped out of the saddle, landing just behind the three men who were chasing him. They didn't notice until he tapped one of them on the shoulder. Grinning, Matthew kicked the knives out of the nearest mans hands, then elbowed him in the face. He felt, and heard, the man's nose break, then he knocked him out, thumping him in the temple and sending him into the nearest wall. He crumpled and lay at the bottom of it, unconscious. The other two men were standing slightly further back. The fact that two of them had been so easily beaten obviously worried them. Matthew frowned. Did they not know he was a knight? Perhaps the person who had sent them had neglected to tell them that particular detail…

"You're not going to chicken out on me are you?" Matthew asked playfully. "I was just starting to have some fun." The bigger of the two moved forward clumsily.

"We don't chicken out…" the man flicked his wrist and sent the knife in his right hand flying at Matthew. Un-phased, Matthew caught it and threw it back. The other man tried clumsily to catch it, but missed. The knife buried itself hilt deep in the mans throat, and he fell to the ground. Matthew looked at the other man. He was watching Matthew carefully, apparently preparing to run backwards, judging by his left foot gradually slipping back towards the crowd. Matthew watched warily, on the balls of his feet. Without warning, the man somersaulted forwards and struck out with a knife. It sliced Matthew's cheek, opening a deep gash. A gasp went up in the crowd, and Matthew resisted the urge to swear. There were, most likely, several children among them, and he couldn't be a bad influence on them. He grinned slightly at himself, then grabbed the man's wrist as he prepared to strike him again. He slowly applied more and more pressure, digging his fingertips right in between the man's veins. He was shocked when the man managed to swing one foot up to hit him in the side of the head. Realizing that he still held his sword in his right hand, Matthew flicked it round, moving his head back to avoid decapitating himself, and opening a gash in the mans chest. He let go of the man's wrist, then flipped backwards, wiping his face on his sleeve to clear his vision of blood. The man was moving towards him with surprising speed and had, from apparently nowhere, produced a sword. The man was on him in a second, bringing his sword round in a butterfly sweep. Instinctively, Matthew dropped and swept the man's legs from under him. _Mithros, _he thought, _I only came out to get a bleeding ring made! Who would have known it was going to be so much hassle? _The man landed with a thud on his back, but it didn't seem to phase him. He rolled and raised a knife, preparing to bring it down on Matthew. Matthew grabbed his wrists, and rolled, pinning the man down and using his superior strength to hold him there.

"Who sent you?" Matthew hissed.

The man said nothing.

Matthew shook him again. Lowering his voice, he said. "Which bastard sent you?"

The man seemed to choke, then spluttered. Suddenly he seemed to glow a violent yellow. He shuddered, then fell still. Matthew stared for a second, then got to his feet, looking at the dead man. He looked at a nearby boy who was walking forwards in amazement to look at the dead man.

"Don't touch him." He warned, then jumped onto Magic's back.

How had four men managed to fail him? For Mithros sake he only wanted a man killed. They were supposed to be the best. How had they not managed to kill him. He couldn't be the hardest man they'd ever had to kill. Next time, he'd die. He'd make sure of it.

Matthew arrived back at his rooms and Ivy instantly ran to him.

"Matthew! What happened?" She led him into the room and sat him on the bed, looking at his cut. "Mithros, that's deep." She disappeared behind a curtain and returned with bandages and hot water.

"Ivy, I'm fine. Honestly, you don't have to fuss… I'll sort it out, I just…" he stopped when he felt Ivy's hand on the side of his face, and let her clean it. When she moved to take her hand away, he grabbed it and held it there. Closing his eyes he sighed. "That's nice…" he murmured. Ivy giggled slightly, then stopped at his quizzical look.

"Since when did you do girlish giggles?" he whispered.

Ivy shrugged. "Since I started going girly…"

Matthew smiled. "I thought you were a big tough girl."

"I was… until I met you… it's your entire fault."

Matthew nodded. "Without question… most definitely my fault…"

They were silent, for a few minutes while Matthew closed his eyes and healed his cut, keeping Ivy's hand on his face. She was startled to feel the skin closing together under her hand. Matthew smiled, then turned his head, pressing his lips to her wrist.

"I love you…" he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her backwards to lay on his chest.

"I love you too…" Ivy said, running her fingers over his chest through the gap in his shirt. Matthew closed his eyes for a few minutes, then caught her hand and looked her in the eyes.

"You mean everything to me… you know that don't you?"

Ivy nodded. "I do now…"

"You know I'd do anything for you, right?"

She nodded again.

"And that no matter what happens I'll always love you?"

Once again she nodded. Matthew took a deep breath, then dug his hand in his pocket, pulling out the ring he had got in the market. He clenched his fist around it for a second.

"When the war's over…" he said quietly, "I want to be able to show everyone how much I love you." He sat up slightly and took her hand. "I want to spend my life with you…"

Heart pounding, Matthew put the ring in his fingertips and held it up for Ivy to see.

"When all this is over… I want you to marry me… will you?"

Ivy stared at the glowing diamond for a second, in total awe of what was happening. Matthew took his silence to mean no.

"I'm sorry…" He said quickly. "I don't know what I was thinking… I'm being stupid… I shouldn't have…"

"No… you're not being stupid." She put her hands on the side of his face. "Of course I'll marry you." She kissed him as he stared at her in shock.

"You… you serious?" he asked when she pulled away.

Ivy nodded. Grinning, Matthew kissed her gently.

"I love you…" he grinned, then took her left hand. "You sure?" he asked quietly, locking her eyes with his, hand poised, ready to slide the ring on.

Ivy nodded. "I'm sure…"

Matthew smiled and slipped the ring onto her wedding finger. He kissed her forehead gently, and then wrapped his arms around her.

"So come on… what kind of wedding do you want?"

Matthew left the next morning. Ivy watched him leave, twisting the ring on her finger. She wished he could stay. It hurt, watching him leave, knowing that he might not come back, that she might never see him again. She looked at the ring on her finger. Buri had been thrilled for them both, as had Jonathan and Thayet. Matthew had lain beside her most of the night, asking her about what she wanted at the wedding. She smiled as she remembered him teasing her about wearing white.

"_You can't." he said cheekily, stroking her face._

"_Why not?" Ivy asked. _

"_You're not a virgin." He grinned._

"_So?"_

"_You can't wear white."_

"_Can!"_

"_Can't!" Matthew grinned at her and kissed her hand. "You can wear pink… beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, pink!" _

_That earned him a hit on the head with a pillow. "I am not wearing pink!" Ivy argued._

_Matthew smiled. "Alright… yellow!"_

"_NO!"_

_He sighed. "Ok… purple?"_

"_Matthew…" she warned. _

"_Alright! Alright!" He looked at her thoughtfully. "Blue…" he said quietly. "Will you wear blue?"_

_Ivy nodded slowly, "But I'd rather wear white…" _

_Matthew grinned cheekily. "But you can't!" he whispered in her ear playfully. He smiled. "Don't worry, the dress is going to end up dirty and on the floor anyway…"_

Ivy watched Matthew disappear out of sight, smiling at the thought of what Matthew had been implying. Their wedding night… she felt the sudden sense of loss that overtook her every time that she thought of anything in the future involving her and Matthew. There was no way of knowing it would even happen… he might have been being optimistic, but they both knew that it might never happen… she shoved the thought away. _No, _she thought, _he's made it this far. He'll make it home…_

_It was raining. She could see the rain sloshing onto his face. He was wrapped in his traveling cloak, his brownish-blonde hair soaked and plastered to his head and the side of his face. He obviously hadn't noticed the men in the shadows under a nearby tree. He continued to ride on, looking down to keep the rain from getting in his eyes. Ivy tried to call out, but he couldn't hear her. He rode on, not noticing the flash of metal as the nearest man drew a knife and threw it. It hit him squarely in the back, and he tumbled from the saddle. Magic reared, then galloped away from the men who were now emerging from the shadows to pull Matthews bleeding, suddenly lifeless, body away._

Ivy woke up sweating. Her sheets clung to her skin, and her hair was stuck to her face. She was panting. She tried to remember the dream… or nightmare… she felt a sudden lurch in her stomach as she remembered, and rolled to the side of the bed, retching onto the floor. Matthew had been killed… of course it was only a dream. It hadn't really happened… that was what she tried to tell herself. But something in the back of her mind told her differently. It had been too vivid…

Two weeks later, Ivy had managed to banish all thoughts of the dream away. She hadn't had any repeats of it, and she was sure that it could only mean that she had been worried about him. By now he would be at the camp again, in charge of his men. He was fine. She was just worrying. When a messenger arrived with a letter for her, she felt her heart leap. Matthew was safe. He was writing to her. She tore open the envelope and was shocked to see that the letter was from her father.

_Dearest Ivy,_

_I am sorry to have to tell you this, especially after what I have just heard from Buri. I cannot sugar coat this for you as I would have liked. You're too old for it now, and you'd see through any lie I told you. This will seem blunt, far too much so you might think, but I cannot drag it out for you. It would be wrong of me._

_Matthew didn't make it back. Two of our men found his body when they were checking the country for thieves and spies. He was attacked and killed by three men. A stab wound to the back. It would have been quick, Ivy. He wouldn't have felt much. It would have been over very quickly. I know you would have been in his thoughts. He loved you. Nothing, not even death, can come between two peoples love. _

_His body has been burnt and sent to the Goddess Ivy. In a way it's a blessing you were not here. His body was a mess. Now you can remember him as the whole human being you knew him to be._

_I am so sorry_

_All my love_

_Father_

_x _


	30. Once we start

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**Well guys, what can I say? I'm an evil girl :P**

--------------------

Ivy stared at the letter. It couldn't be right… there'd been a mistake… they'd got the wrong man. Somewhere within herself she knew there hadn't been a mistake, and that Matthew was really gone. She'd seen it. She'd seen him being killed in her dream. There hadn't been any mistakes. She ran to her room and slammed the door, falling onto the bed and crying. He couldn't be dead… he'd promised her he'd be back. He'd promised that he'd be there at her Ordeal, that he'd marry her… he couldn't break that promise… tears poured down her cheeks. There would be no wedding. He wouldn't be there at her Ordeal. He was gone.

--------------------

Ivy stayed in her room for three months. Her only visitors were Thayet, Jonathan and Buri. She didn't talk to any of them, she merely sat there, staring blankly at the wall. Sometimes, Buri would try and talk her into going down to the practice courts, or on a walk through the gardens, but Ivy could never bring herself to do it. She and Matthew had kissed many times in the practice courts, and made love for the first time in the gardens. She didn't want to go there without him.

It was only when Liam of Jesslaw came to her door that Ivy spoke. Matthew had told her that Liam might come to her if he needed anything when he had gone back to war. She'd promised him that he'd help Liam. She couldn't break a promise to Matthew. Even so, when Liam came in and said plainly, "he's dead, isn't he?" Ivy found it difficult not to yell at him for being so blunt. She nodded.

"Do you miss him?" Liam asked quietly.

Did she miss him? What kind of a question was that? Of course she missed him. He was her fiancé and he'd been killed! "Yes." She said quietly.

Liam looked at her for a minute. "My mum still cries about my Dad every night… even though it's been half a year. I still do… sometimes… on my birthday I did…"

Ivy looked across at him. He was only twelve. His father should still be with him. Owen hadn't even been very old. It wasn't fair that he had died.

"Matthew said he found my Dad…" Liam said quietly.

Ivy nodded. "He did."

Liam looked at her. "Who found Matthew?"

Ivy blinked back tears. "I… I don't know…"

Liam eyed the ring on her finger. "Was that… did Matthew give it to you?"

Ivy nodded. "It's an engagement ring."

Liam drew back. "You were engaged?"

She nodded again. "For about a day. Then he died." She smiled weakly. "He said he wanted to get married in the winter, when it was snowing, on top of a mountain." Ivy wiped her eyes, and gave a small laugh. "He said he wanted me to wear a blue dress that came down to my knees…"

"But you'd freeze…" Liam said, shocked.

Ivy nodded and smiled. "I think the idea was he could keep me warm later on…"

Liam laughed slightly, then stopped. They sat in silence for a few minutes, while Ivy let several tears slide down her face.

"You're Dad didn't like him at first did he?"

Ivy shook her head. "It wasn't really that, he was just being protective over me… too protective."

Liam nodded. "My Dad was over protective…" Ivy heard the pain in his voice all of a sudden and looked up. "He didn't want me to do much to start with; he thought I'd get hurt…"

Ivy nodded. She understood.

Suddenly Liam stood up. "I have to go. I've got serving duty." He smiled at Ivy and walked out.

-----------

Maybe it was her talk with Liam. Maybe she just suddenly realized she couldn't spend the rest of her life stuck in her room crying, but by the next day, Ivy was walking around in the palace grounds. She deliberately avoided certain places, but on the whole, she was much improved. There was nowhere in the grounds that Matthew and Ivy had not spent at least sometime together, so everywhere she went there were just the slightest reminders of Matthew's death, a slightly painful pang in her chest. By sunset, Ivy felt she had to go to the gardens. She wanted to say goodbye to Matthew. That was where they'd been closest. It felt right. She headed for the cluster of rose bushes, hesitating slightly when she saw the spot that they'd laid together. The dull ache in her chest was suddenly a throbbing pain. Once again, tears poured down her face. Wiping her streaming eyes, she walked slowly over to the spot, and sat down hard on the ground.

"Matthew…" she said quietly. All over again, she felt the defiance rising inside her chest. He couldn't be dead. He'd _promised _her he'd be back. He _couldn't _be dead. He wasn't foolish enough to get killed so easily by road bandits… then she remembered the vision, saw Matthew falling from Magic's back… then the words in the letter… _attacked and killed by three men. A stab wound to the back. _Not for the first time, Ivy blamed herself. She had seen him being killed. She'd seen him being stabbed. Maybe, if she'd told someone, they could have found Matthew before it was too late… they could have saved him… _No, _she thought. _You saw him, he was killed straight away… there was nothing you could do… _

"Matthew…" Ivy repeated, her voice cracking. "Gods, Matthew… where are you?" she wiped her eyes slightly. "I miss you…" absently, Ivy took the heart pendant around her neck in her hand. The fire was still burning… somewhere at the back of her mind, she remembered the night of her birthday, after she and Matthew had returned to their room….

_Ivy watched, amused, as Matthew played with the necklace._

"_Haven't you seen it enough yet?" she asked quietly._

_Matthew smiled. "I was just thinking…" _

"_What about?" Ivy asked, reaching out to stroke his dampened hair._

"_You…" Matthew said, meeting her eyes. "Love… life… death… everything…"_

"_What about everything?" _

_He sat up, pulling her close to his chest. "That necklace… it'll always burn… even when I'm gone… however that happens…" he put his forehead to hers. "Always…" he whispered. "Just like my love for you… it'll never, ever, burn out…"_

_Ivy looked at him, not saying anything._

"_Even when I'm gone… I'll always be here… right here… with you…"_

Ivy looked at the necklace in silence. He was there. She could almost feel him… if she tried hard enough, it was almost as though he were there with her…

"I love you Matthew…" she whispered to the air. "Always…" Instantly, warmth wrapped around her. Drowsiness overcame the heartbreak that had been so painfully obvious for the last three months, and Ivy lay down, falling asleep almost instantly…

--------

Over the next year, Ivy got back into the routine she had been carrying out for five years. She practiced with her weapons, went riding and carried out duties around the palace. It wore her out, keeping her head away from the occasional lapses of loneliness that would swamp her if she were too refreshed. She worked herself as hard as possible, rolling into bed too tired to dream, and waking up with too many aching muscles to think.

There were, however, still times that she would drift into her own little world, remember Matthew and feel lonely all of a sudden. It was then that she would go to the black smiths. A young man named Garrick had been hired two months after Matthew death. At first Ivy went to him only to check Thunders shoe's and to check her weapons over. These visits, for a reason that Ivy couldn't explain, made Ivy happier than she had been in a while. At first, she tried to ignore it. Only four months after Matthew's death, she felt guilty even wondering if she had feelings for someone else. She had deliberately avoided the blacksmiths, until the point that Thunders shoe's were falling off, and her weapons needed fixing. Then she had been forced to go and see Garrick. It was on that visit, that she got to know him, and it was from then on, that she began to spend more time with him.

He stood up from refitting Thunder's shoe. "Done." He said, brushing his light brown hair back from his eyes. He was tall, with brown eyes, a well muscled body, and a handsomely shaped face. The only thing that marred his image of a perfect man was the light scar on his left cheek. However, Ivy found this slightly attractive in itself.

"You keep your weapons well." Garrick stated, wiping a bead of sweat from his face. "Some of the people who come in slack off on keeping them in good condition. It's nice to see you don't." He looked at her for a second.

"I heard you lost your… fiancée… in the war."

Ivy nodded.

"I'm sorry." Garrick said carefully. "I know what it's like to lose someone close to you… my mum… she was killed by thieves…"

"I'm sorry…" Ivy said quietly.

Garrick shook his head and tried a smile, but looked away almost instantly. "I've had time to get over it…"

Ivy remained quiet, and watched as Garrick began to lift his shirt over his head. He noticed her looking and stopped.

"Sorry… you don't mind do you? I've just been working a while… it's a bit warm…"

Ivy shook her head. "It's fine."

Garrick smiled and lifted it off completely. Ivy bit her lip. Garrick obviously kept in shape. His chest sported a six pack, while his arms were well muscled, his biceps bulging slightly. As he threw his shirt onto a chair, Ivy saw his muscles rippling as he moved. He turned round to find her watching him intently. He smiled at her slightly.

"You alright?" he asked.

Ivy jumped and nodded. "Erm… yeah, sure… just… thinking…"

Garrick nodded. "Anything else you need?"

"Erm… no… that's all… thanks…"

She left the blacksmith alone. Garrick stared after her. If he hadn't heard about how crazy she was about her fiancée, he might think she was attracted to him. He shrugged. There was nothing wrong with that. Maybe she needed someone to keep her mind off it. He couldn't help but smile. It wasn't like he'd say no, not if that well toned body were offered for him to take…

"So why did you want to be a knight?" Garrick asked. It was a year and a half after Matthew's death. Over the last six months or so, they'd gotten to know each other, and slowly they were delving deeper into the others past.

"I don't know…" Ivy admitted. "But my whole family are fighters… I was hardly likely to turn out to be a stuck up noble woman was I?"

Garrick grinned. "I don't know… you have your moments…"

Ivy glared at him. "Why did you want to be a blacksmith?"

He smiled. "I'm good with my hands…" Ivy blushed. There were moments, like this, that she found herself attracted to him, wondering what he would do if she made a move. Then she would feel the necklace or the ring burning, and would remember once more that she hadn't lost Matthew long ago.

"Besides…" Gavin went on. "Commoners can't get weapons easily… blacksmiths can make them… in case we want to rebel against you…" he grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "Plus, I've been told women like a man who sweats…"

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "Who told you that?"

Garrick shrugged. "A few people… obviously not in large amounts, but in small amounts… like a layer over the skin… I've been told it… how shall I put this… turns them on?"

Ivy snorted. "Right up until they get close enough to smell you and they retch instantly."

He smiled. "Now we both know you don't retch at the smell of sweat…"

Ivy shrugged. "Only because I'm used to it. I can assure you it wouldn't turn a woman fighter on."

Garrick grinned wickedly. "Well… that's what you say now…" he smiled. "You're only seventeen. Don't worry virgin-girl, one day…" He stood to leave.

"Virgin-girl?" Ivy said politely.

Garrick nodded, then stopped. "You _are _a virgin right?"

Ivy raised an eyebrow.

Smiling slightly, Garrick sat back down. "Oh so you're _not_. Well, well, who's been a naughty noble woman?" he tutted, then ran a hand lightly through her hair.

"So if you're not… then you've done it before…"

"Oh well done, Garrick, you understand what a virgin is…"

Garrick smiled ever so slightly. "Yeah… I make it my business to know… now if you're not…I can be vulgar and… imply… certain things I wouldn't normally do in the presence of a noble lady… that right?"

Ivy hesitated, then nodded slowly.

Garrick smirked. "That's good to know…" he stood up again. "See you later." He ruffled her hair slightly, then left the room, running a hand slowly through his hair as he went.

The door shut, and Ivy was left thinking. She was single. She wasn't betraying Matthew if she thought about it. He was gone. She still loved him. It didn't mean she couldn't have other lovers. And something about Garrick drew her to him, almost like a spell, tugging at her… he charmed her. He treated her as an equal. He didn't see her as a stuck up noble… _If he's interested… _Ivy thought, _I don't see the harm in it. I'm not banned from men. I'll always love Matthew… but he'd want me to have other loves, I know he would…_

--

He was thinking about her. It happened a lot lately. He knew why of course. She was attractive, and attractive women naturally attracted men. Seven years difference. That was all. It wasn't much, not compared to some couples. He could see the problems it would cause for them. He was a commoner. It wasn't normal for commoners to court – if that were the right word – nobles. But he could see no reason for anyone to stop him. As far as they were concerned, men weren't coming back from the war. And he agreed with them. Noble men would hardly be in large supply now. There was no reason for them not to. So he would make a move. If she rebuked him, he'd have to find another way to win her over, but he knew her now. He could work something out.

--

"Go on," Ivy teased.

"No!" Garrick said.

"Why not?"

"You'll laugh!"

"I won't!"

"You will!"

"I swear I won't!"

Garrick looked at her. "You sure?"

Ivy nodded.

He took a deep breath. "Alright." He said. "I'll tell you." He looked at her carefully, then went on. "I like someone…"

Ivy looked shocked, then nodded. "And…?"

"And…" Garrick said quietly. "I don't really know what to do."

"You _could _always tell them…" Ivy suggested.

Garrick grinned. "Yeah, I could… but I don't know what she'd say."

"Well ask her and find out."

Garrick tilted his head to the side slightly. "What would you say?" he asked quietly.

"Me?" Ivy asked, shocked.

He nodded.

Ivy thought for a second. "Well…" She shifted slightly on the bed. "I'd say…" she stopped.

"Go on…" Garrick urged quietly.

"Well… I'd say… that you were very nice… very handsome… that I was flattered… and that I quite liked you too."

Garrick raised an eyebrow. "Would you?"

Ivy nodded.

"Go on then."

"What?"

"Say it," he said quietly.

Ivy hesitated. "Erm… alright…" she moved slightly so that she was facing him more directly. "You're a very, very nice, charming man, with very good looks. I'm absolutely flattered that you think of me in this way, and I rather think I like…" she didn't continue. His mouth was pressed to hers, sending heat through her body. Ivy froze. When he pulled away there was a look of hunger and disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I don't know what I was thinking…"

"It's… fine… I just… wasn't expecting it…" Ivy bit her lip slightly as he looked at her carefully.

Garrick stared, then asked. "Was it… nice?"

Ivy thought, then nodded. "I… I think so…"

Garrick frowned. "You think so? You know you're doing my confidence no end of good here…" out of nowhere a pillow slammed into the side of his face. He looked at Ivy quickly, then grabbed her hands, pushing her down onto her back and pinning her hands down.

"You should never hit a blacksmith with a pillow…" he said calmly.

"Why not?" Ivy asked innocently. He moved so that his body was above hers, and leant down to whisper in her ear.

"Because…" he said. "I'm good with my hands…" Ivy froze slightly as one of his large hands slid down her thigh, gently massaging it. She bit her lip to stifle a moan. This wasn't fair.

"See?" He continued quietly. "Very… very… good with my hands…" he stopped and looked her in the eyes. "You want this… don't you?"

Ivy hesitated, then nodded slowly.

Garrick nodded. "I thought you did…" he teasingly brushed his lips against her ear. "There's no turning back. You know that don't you?"

Ivy nodded.

"Once we start… you're mine. I don't enter relationships lightly Ivy. I have every intention to see this to the end. Understand?"

She nodded.

"Think you can stand being mine?"

Another nod.

"Good." He said quietly. "From now on… I own you…" He leant down, and kissed her fiercely.

**Reviews?**


	31. Make Me or Break Me

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**_'Because I love the way you move, when I'm inside of you!' _- **

**Hoobastank - Inside of You**

Garrick looked at her as she lay there, sleeping. She wasn't like she'd expected. From her rough, ambitious personality, he'd expected her to be just the same in bed. He was shocked to find that she was, instead, gentle, loving, and willing to merely be held. He wasn't disappointed. He liked her like that. She was less centered around the world of knighthoods and war, and more centered around the moment. It was something he hadn't expected, but was happy to have found.

Ivy stirred, looking up at Garrick through blurred eyes. She waited for her eyes to focus properly, then smiled. His brown eyes were overtaken by a soft gaze, that made butterflies enter her stomach.

"Hey..." she said, then stifled a yawn.

"Hey sleepy..." Garrick murmured, stroking her hair from her face and leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Thought you were dead to the world for a while there..."

Ivy smiled weakly. "Sorry... I didn't mean to fall asleep... it was just... comfortable..."

Garrick nodded. "I know... its fine..." he lay himself down next to her. "I'm sorry if I came over too... controlling. I just... I don't like my relationships to be... lighthearted... I want commitment."

Ivy grinned. "For someone who talks about turning women on so lightly, you sound a little too committed.

Garrick smiled. "It's not my fault if women like sweat... and besides... it could have helped some men find soulmates..." he tweaked her nose, then stopped. "What's wrong?" He said, though there was a slightly knowing look in his eye.

Ivy shook her head. "Nothing..." she said. It wasn't nothing. At the mention of 'soulmates' Ivy had felt her insides freeze. Matthew was her soulmate. What if she were wrong? What if Matthew wouldn't have wanted her to find other loves and be with other men? She was his soulmate. He was supposed to be the one for her. Was it wrong for her to be in Garricks arms?

"It's your... fiancee... isn't it?" Garrick said quietly.

Ivy looked at him carefully, then nodded.

"I'm sorry..." Garrick said. "I should have thought..."

"It's fine... I'm fine..."

"No... I shouldn't have said it..." He reached out hesitantly and took her hands bringing it to his lips. "I'm sorry... I know you and him were meant to be soulmates... I should have thought about it..."

Ivy said nothing, but rested her head on his shoulder, trying to keep her tears at bay. It wasn't fair on Garrick. She couldn't cry with him here...

"Do you want me to go? So you can think?" Garrick said gently, one hand massaging her shoulder.

Ivy shook her head. "No... don't go..."

Garrick hesitated. "You sure?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry... I just... get these moments when I miss him."

Garrick nodded. "I understand..."

Ivy snuggled closer to him. "Thank you..." she murmured.

Garrick smiled. "It's fine..." He kissed her forehead.

* * *

Maybe it was his understanding. Maybe it was the constant reassurance that he was there for her, but suddenly, Ivy felt a change within her. When she was with Garrick, she could be herself. She could be a mourning lover or a happy teenager, and to him, it didn't matter. If she was down, he'd hold her, whispering in her ear that, no matter what, he'd be there. If she was happy, he'd take her on walks through the city, holding her hand and making her laugh. It was a feeling she hadn't felt since Matthew had been with her, and it was welcomed back. Whereas before meeting Garrick, she had been waiting anxiously for her Ordeal in Midwinter so that she could go and fight, now she could only watch with sadness as the days slipped by, every day meaning she was one step closer to being a knight, one day closer to stepping out into battle and having no certainty of coming back... Garrick also seemed to notice her depression. He would always find a way to get round it though, whether it was by taking her to the market and spoiling her -with money from a place unknown to Ivy-, by sitting with her in her rooms and talking, or by making love to her gently whenever they had the chance. It was something Ivy loved; the certainty that she was going to be held in someones arms at night was more than she had had in a long time. And it gave her more confidence than she had felt in a year and a half. She could finally step into the city without thinking about certain places where Matthew had been, she could finally fence in the practice courts without remember fencing Matthew. He wasn't gone from her memory completely, and she was always aware that he was not there, but he wasn't constantly filling her vision any more. He wasn't there, in front of her mind, keeping her from going to places she was used to going.

* * *

It was January. A thick layer of snow covered Corus, constantly getting deeper and deeper. Garrick loved the snow. Ivy hated it.

"It's too wet. It's too cold! I'm not dressed for it!" She argued one evening as he tried to get her to have a snowball fight with him.

"Come on!" He said, putting his hands on her waist and nuzzling her neck. "You want to really!"

"No I don't! I _hate _the cold!"

"No, you just haven't spend long enough in it! Come on missy, don't go all stuck up on me now!"

That got her. Ivy glared at him. "I am not stuck up!"

"Sure..." he smirked. "Come on then, prove it!"

"Fine!" Ivy snapped. Shewent over to her drawers and pulled out her silks and furs.

"Oh come on you wimp!" Garrick said. "Shirtand breeches! Come on!"

"You are joking?" Ivy whined.

"Nope. It's a commoners life for me..." he grinned at the furs and silks in the drawers. "Besides, they'll make you look fat!" He ducked in time to avoid a pillow. "That was meant to be a compliment!" Garrick said, standing up again. "That was saying you _aren't _fat!"

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "Course you were..." she muttered.

"I was!" Garrick insisted.

"Right..." Ivy said. "I guess you win. Can't have you thinking nobles are wimps now can we?"

"No," Garrick agreed. "It just wouldn't be right for me to think that!"

* * *

Ivy regretted it now. She was outside in the cold, in nothing but a thin shirt and a pair of loose breeches. Garrick seemed to find it highly amusing. Ivy herself was trying to rub some warmth into her arms, whilst ducking and avoiding snowballs that Garrick aimed at her. It was difficult. Apart from her hands being totally numb and her being unable to feel them on her arms, Garrick was a good shot, and rarely missed, even when she moved. Finally, she gave up trying to avoid them, and instead heading over to him, trying to nestle into his chest and gain some of his warmth. Garrick smiled.

"Nice try." He laughed. "But I'm not hugging you if that's what you're after!"

Ivy glared at him. "Who said that was what I was after?"

He grinned. "Nobody." He leant forward and whispered in her ear, "they didn't have to." He smiled and walked away, scooping up a handful of snow. "Now get ready to get hammered!"

She was shivering. She was wet. Garrick watched and grinned as she opened her mouth to speak, but her lip trembled. He was being mean. But her top was see through, and it was rewarding to be able to see her breastband without having to remove any of her clothes. He smiled to himself and walked over.

"That'll do..." he smiled. "For today." he winked and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his chest and sharing his warmth with her.

"I... am... ne... nev... never... doing... th... this... aga... again..." Ivy stammered.

Garrick chuckled. "If you say so. We'll see though won't we?" He squeezed her shoulders and leant down to whisper in her ear. "Besides... you being cold... well... lets say its not all bad..." He reached a hand down to stroke her back and smiled when she froze in his hands.

"Come on." He said, louder. "My rooms. I've had the maid put hot bricks in between the sheets..." he trailed off and smiled.

* * *

"I didn't know you could get maids to do your housekeeping... I mean... you work here." They were lying entwined beneath the sheets of Garricks bed. Garrick had been right. The maid had put several hot bricks in, and the heat was a welcome change from outside.

"I do, but something about courting the King and Queens niece puts me in good favour... I get treated like nobility... you know, sometimes I can see why you like it so much..."

Ivy smiled and stifled a yawn.

"Sleepy head." Garrick stated.

Ivy nodded. "It's your fault."

"Oh I don't doubt that for a second." he smiled down at her and stroked her cheek. "You're very, very pretty..." he said quietly.

Ivy grinned. "I'd heard that..."

"I'm sure you have... it's the truth after all..."

Ivy hid a smile. She liked it when Garrick spoke like this. Maybe it was because of his common speech usually, but when he tried on the role of nobility, it suited him.

"Plus," he said quietly, "I know you'll never remember to do it for yourself, so we'd both end up freezing then, wouldn't we?" he smiled down at her, then leant down to kiss her. Herlips were chapped. He tookgreat care running his tongueover them, working the moisture back into the so that when he opened her mouth with his tongue,herlips didn't bleed. She smiled into his mouth,letting his arms wraptight aroundher body.

He pulled away and looked at her. "I could get used to this..." he told her quietly.

Ivy smiled. "Me too..." He kissed her again, gently.

"I really could..."

* * *

"So where'd he get them?" Garrick asked quietly. He was looking at the necklace and ring, both of which Ivy still wore, both as a reminder of Matthew, and as a safety precaution during love making.

"He made them." Ivy said, watching as Garrick ran his fingers over the slender chain around her neck.

"How?" Garrick asked, intrigued.

"He was a Pyro. He just had to put his finger to a diamond and he got it..."

Garrick frowned. "He could do that?"

Ivy nodded.

"I didn't know they could..." his hand lingered on the chain, then slowly slid to take the diamond in his hand. There was a second where nothing happened, then light flared around Garricks hand and he drew it back instantly. His hand was blistering.

He looked at his hand. "Doesn't it hurt you?" he asked.

Ivy shook her head. "It doesn't do that to me..."

Garrick looked at the necklace suspiciously for a moment, then shrugged and got up to rinse it in the bowl of water beside the bed.

Ivy watched him, then touched the necklace. It was cold, yet somehow, it had burnt Garrick. She wondered if it was safe. If Numair were here, she'd have asked him, but he wasn't. But Uncle Jon might be able to tell...

* * *

"I don't see anything wrong with it Ivy." Jonathan said quietly, putting the necklace down. "Nor with the ring. It's possible that as part of Matthew is contained in the diamond, its showing his feelings towards Garrick..." He saw the scared look on Ivy's face and shook his head. "I'm sure it's nothing." He assured her. "It's merely natural. As far as yourself and Garrick's relationship goes, as long as he doesn't touch it for too long, he'll be safe."

Ivy nodded. "So you don't think it's dangerous."

"Not in the long run, no. Just don't let Garrick become exposed to it, it could burn him..."

* * *

Was it her imagination, or had something in Jonathans eyes suggested that he didn't trust her new lover? She couldn't see why not. Of course, he was a commoner and a blacksmith, but it was hardly unheard of. Perhaps it wasn't that. Perhaps her Uncle knew there wasmore to the necklace than he was letting on... she was interrupted in her thoughts by Garrick entering the room.

"Hey." he said, walking over and sitting next to her. She noticed that his hand was bandaged. "It's fine." he said, seeing her eyes linger on his hand. "A few days and it'll be normal again..." he put an arm round her shoulders. "Something bothering you?" he asked, kissing her head lightly.

Ivy shook her head. "No..."

Garrick raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe that?"

Ivy shrugged.

"What is it?" Garrick asked, dropping his arm and looking at her. "You can tell me..."

"Honestly, it's nothing... I'm just... nervous I suppose... I mean, this time next year I'll either be dead or be a knight... it's scary."

Garrick nodded, but she could tell that he knew it wasn't the whole truth. "Anything else?" he probed.

Ivy hesitated then shook her head. "No. I'm fine, honestly."

"Ok..." he stood up. "Come on, lets go for a ride."he held out his good hand. Ivy looked at it, then put her hand in his, letting him pull her up into his arms.

"Where?" she asked, squeezing his hand lightly.

"Anywhere." Garrick grinned. "Wherever the wind takes us..."

Ivy laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Ok. Let's go then."

* * *

He took her through the city, to the nearby countryside. The ground was still covered in snow, and as the sun set, it sent a pink glow over the countryside.

"It's beautiful," Ivy stated from Thunders back. Garrick nodded. He was seated on a black horse, and was riding bare back.

"I know." He drew his horse over so that he could reach over and touch her. "So are you." He smiled at the look on her face. "Don't look so shocked. I'm just complimenting you."

"I know... thank you."

Garrick smiled and squeezed her leg. "Come on. Let's go. It's getting dark."

* * *

They were just unsaddling their horses when Ivy noticed Liam of Jesslawwalking past the stable.

"Hey. How are you?" she asked, leaning over the stable door.

Liam nodded. "I'm ok... you?"

Ivy smiled. "Things are looking up." She nodded at the wooden flute-like instrument in his hands. "What's that?"

"Oh it's nothing, just..." he trailed off when Garrick appeared beside Ivy and put an arm around her. Liam backed away, a look of fear and confusion in his eyes.

"Oh... Liam this is Garrick, Garrick, this is Liam of Jesslaw."

Garrick reached out a hand, offering it for Liam to shake. Liam gave him a look of horror, then ran in the other direction, back up to the Palace.

"Doesn't say much, your friend, does he?"

Ivy shook his head. "He's not usually like that... maybe it's just that he doesn't know you... he's had a hard time."

Garrick nodded and pulled her to him. "You'll have to introduce me properly another time..."

* * *

Liam continued to avoid Ivy whilst Garrick was with her. Unfortunately, he was there so much of the time, that Ivy never got the chance to find out why.

"Stop worrying." Garrick told her one night. "He probably just doesn't like the look of me. It's been eight months, I think it's fair to say he's not going to change his mind. And besides. You have much more important things to worry about. Your Ordeal's in four months. You need to be thinking about it and stop worrying about Liam. He'll come round when he's ready. You'll see."

* * *

He was right. Ivy was lying in bed, Garrick was beside her, his arms around her waist. She had bigger things to worry about. Her Ordeal. But what did she fear? That was what the Ordeal was all about. Facing fears. So what did she fear? At first, she thought she feared death. But no. Death was natural. There was nothing to fear from nature. What did she fear? She knew enough from Matthew and Raoul to know that the Ordeal would test her mind, her body, everything. The only problem was, she didn't know what she would be facing. She had never found something that terrified her, nothing that turned her blood to ice. Nothing that caused her to feel so much pain that... suddenly she remembered. She knew what she feared. And if the Chamber madeher relive that, she wasn't sure that she could survive...

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Ivy found herself sat in the Chapel of the Ordeal five times. Three times Garrick found her just in time to stop her opening the Chamber door and stepping in.

"What happens will happen. Stop worrying." He kissed her forehead. "You'll be fine. Just try and keep you mind off it _and _off Liam." He grinned cheekily. "There's always me to take your mind off things..."

Ivy smiled. "I know. I'm just worried... what if I don't come out again? It'll all have been for nothing."

Garrick nodded. "But you'll come out. You've got nothing to worry about."

* * *

With one month to go until her Ordeal, Ivy began to wonder whether her father and any of her Uncles or Aunts would be there. Thayet, Buri and Jonathan would. That was all that she knew. She thought of asking Jonathan to let her wait until the war was over before being knighted, but she knew the answer would be no. Knights were needed in the war. That would be exactly where she was going... if she made it. They wouldn't make an exception just for her, just because her family weren't there.

* * *

"Don't worry, your father and Uncles and Aunts will be here. Raoul made sure of it. He wouldn't miss being here for anything." Buri hugged her daughters shoulders. It was two weeks before her Ordeal. She had expected her family to be there by now if they were coming.

"They can't just leave and go on a months holiday..." Buri explained. "What state would that leave the army in? They'll only be able to manage a few days Ivy, but they'll be here."

* * *

But even with two days to go, her family were not there. Ivy had wanted Alanna and Kel to instruct her during her purifying bath, but it didn't seem possible. Instead, Ivy approached her Uncle Jonathan, and Alanna's adoptive father Myles, asking them to instruct her after her bathe. Myles was very old now, Alanna had told Ivy a few years before that he wasn't expected to live much longer, and that it was only the will to drink wine and be merry that was keeping him there. To Ivy though, he was much like a grandfather, and he drank so often, that it was difficult to tell that he was drunk. She knew he would oblige. He was a softie really... beneath the tough skin and the drunken tendencies.

* * *

Ivy was sat on her bed. She was shaking. She seemed incapable of doing anything. Garrick watched. She was nervous. She should have been sleeping, trying to catch up on the sleep she would lose, but she had woken in cold sweats five times in one hour and had eventually given up. In a few minutes, Garrick would walk her to her Purifying Bath ceremony, then leave her to sit vigil in the chapel all night, until she entered the Chamber of Ordeal, and her fate would be decided...

* * *

"I'll be here when you come out." Garrick insisted, gripping Ivy's hands.

Ivy nodded. She couldn't see the point in arguing with him. He would still argue she would make it.

"Ivy..." Jonathan said. "Go on."

Garrick squeezed her hands. "I love you." he told her. "I'll be here, I promise."

Ivy couldn't say anything. She nodded, and walked through to take her bath.

* * *

She sat for hours, staring at the stone door to the Chamber, wondering what was behind it, what was waiting for her. Her whole body shook uncontrollably. She was cold, and the white clothes she wore provided little protection from the chill of the chapel. Jonathan tapped her gently on the shoulder. She stood shakily. This was it. This would make or break her. The door opened, and Ivy stumbled through...

* * *

**Reviews? **

**x**


	32. The Ordeal

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

It was cold. Bitterly so. A horribly chilling wind swept around her and she could hardly move. Her pathetically thin clothes did nothing to keep the wind at bay. She looked around and tried to see. It was dark. There was nothing to see. Suddenly, in front of her, there was a golden glow. She moved forward to look at it. The glowing gold light shifted to form a face in front of her. She edged closer, curious to see what it was. The image appeared to blur, then came into focus. Ivy felt tears stinging her eyes. For two and a half years, she had managed to keep the dream of Matthew's death at bay. Now it was being replayed in front of her, but in more vivid detail than she would have believed it possible to be. It was as if the knife which sped towards her back was deliberately slowed down. And when it hit him, she could see the blood seep slowly from the wound in his back. She watched as he fell, slowly, to the floor, biting her lip in an attempt to keep quiet and to stop herself from crying. She tried to tear her eyes away, but she couldn't. She watched as his body was dragged away. She expected it to fade, but suddenly, Matthew's eyes flew open. They were glowing red. 

"I'm not dead Ivy!" his voice sounded in her head. She opened her mouth to answer, but shut it just in time. 

_You are! _her head yelled. _You are! This is sick! You're dead! They found your body! You're dead!_

But it continued. Inside her head, she could still hear her voice. How was this going to prepare her for knighthood? It was just a bunch of lies, trying to trick her... she wouldn't believe it... she refused to believe it. 

Finally, the image and voice faded. Ivy realized that she was lying on the floor, tears pouring down her face. She got to her feet shakily. _If I make it... _she thought, _it better have been worth it... all the pain... all of this... it's sick...

* * *

_

She looked around again and was almost sick. 

Gavin walked over, clad in leather breeches, shirt and boots. 

"Ivy... come on... dance with me." He held out a hand. "You know you want to... 

Ivy scrabbled backwards. _NO! _She thought. She fell against the wall, leaning against it for support. Gavin shrugged. 

"Suit yourself." He disappeared. Ivy looked at the spot he had stood in confusion. Surely that was too easy? She was suddenly thrown off her feet, onto her face. She lifted her head slowly, her vision blurred. She was on a boat. Gavin was stood a few metres away from her, sharpening a knife ona stone and testing it on his finger. He looked over to the other side of the boat. Ivy followed his gaze and was almost sick. Matthew was on the other side of the boat. He was the same as she remembered him to be - well muscled, blonde-brown hair slightly messed, eyes sparkling. The only difference was that he was tied to a pole, sweat was pouring down his face, and he was obviously trying desperately hard to change into a Pyro. 

Gavin walked over to Matthew, his knife held out. He brought the knife up slowly so that it caught the light of the nearest candle, then he slashed it down through the air so that it left a large gash on Matthews arm. Ivy bit back a yell of pain and looked at her own forearm. She sported a cut identical to Matthew's own. Matthew was gasping in pain. Ivy felt tears sting her eyes as he looked across at her, as though begging her to do something. He cried out in pain as the knide sliced down his back. Ivy bit her lip as hard as possible. 

"Ivy!" Matthew shouted. "Please! Do... do..." there was another ear piercing yell as the knife sliced across Matthew's chest. 

"You can stop it Ivy." Gavin said, looking across at her. "Just say yes and I'll leave him alone. Say yes to whatever I say, and he won't suffer." 

"Don't listen to him Ivy!" Matthew gasped, eyes closed as he gritted his teeth against the pain. "You have to stay quiet!" 

There was another pain across Ivy's leg. 

"Or you can let it go on." Gavin continued. "Watch him writhe in pain. Be a self-centred bitch. Leave your fiancee to die..." 

That word brought more and more tears to Ivy's eyes. Her fiancee. Could she do this to her fiancee? 

_He's dead!_ Ivy told herself._ He's not your fiancee anymore! _She looked at the ring glinting on her finger. _He's in the past. You can't do anything for him! _

"Ivy... you can save him. You wouldn't want him to suffer would you? Just say something. Stop the pain. Go on..." 

"Ivy, don't listen to him!" Matthew's chest was bleeding through his light blue shirt, a red blotch was getting ever bigger. 

Gavin saw the direction of her gaze. "That's horrible isn't it Ivy? You can stop it... just say yes, and he won't get hurt anymore." 

Ivy shook her head, seeing the look in Matthew's eyes -his eyes could have tricked her into anything, now she thanked him for it. 

Another searing pain across her ankle. Ivy could feel the blood leaving her, leaving a puddle on the floor of the chamber... surely she would die soon? Then she could get away from this... perhaps she could faint? 

"IVY!" Matthew yelled. "Don't you dare fall asleep! I didn't take you as my Squire for you to fall asleep half way through your ordeal! You can do this! Just stay awake for a few minutes! I love you! Just stay awake!" 

"No," Garrick said, "Go to sleep..." Ivy felt her eyes drooping suddenly, but suddenly she realized something. Gavin had disappeared. Garrick stood where he had been standing. He was holding the knife. It was dripping with Matthews blood. Looking at him, Ivy saw the small scar on his cheek opening grotesquely slowly and letting blood drip out. His brown hair seemed to grow, and in a rustle of wind changed to black. Gavin was staring at her. Ivy felt the need to retch. Gavin was Garrick? Garrick, the man who had held her so many times and cheered her up recently, was Gavin? Gavin, the man who had raped her? 

"Sleep Ivy!" Gavin commanded. "Go and join Matthew... he's dead... go and join him." 

Ivy once again felt her eyelids droop. He was right. Matthew was dead. Garrick wasn't the man she had thought he was... what did she have to live for? 

_Ivy, _Matthews voice sounded in her head, drowning out the sound of Gavin telling her to sleep. _Don't sleep... just stay awake Angel... a few minutes and all this will be over... forget the pain, just forget it's there... stop thinking about it... just make it out of here and everything will get sorted out... I promise... just hold on for me... I love you...

* * *

_

Somehow Ivy managed to stand. Blood dripped from all of the cuts on her body and her robes clung to her skin. At some point during Matthew's talk, Gavin haddisappeared as had the boat. Nowthere was just an icy wind whipping around her, sending specs of blood off her robes onto the floor of the chamber. Ivy heard it splatter on the floor. She wondered if anything else wasgoing tocome at her... she doubtedshe could stand itif it did. It was an effort tokeep her eyesopen, to stop herself collapsing into a dead faint andfalling tothe floor, lifeless. After what seemed like an eternity of airiness, Ivy saw the door to the chamber open. She stumbled weakly over and fell forwards.

* * *

Her father and her Aunt Alanna were waiting to catch her. She could hear the gaspsof horror and shock as she fell forwards bleeding.Ivy knew what they were thinking, they thought she'd failed... she couldn't care less what they thought, not when she saw the figure at the back of the room, sporting identical gashes to her on his chest, arm and leg. Blonde-brown hair matted with sweat, Matthew of Tirragen staggered through the crowd of people in the chapel, amidst gasps of shock and horror. He didn't wait for her to say anything. He took her in his arms and held her tight against him. 

"I told you I'd be back..." he murmured. "I've missed you..." 

Ivy couldn't say anything. She was too shocked, too tired, too in pain, to do anything except lean against him for support. 

"I love you Ivy..."

* * *

**Sorry about the length of time it took and how short the chapter is, but my computer is a poop! Review please!**


	33. Break Down

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce Characters**

**

* * *

**Ivy didnt have the strength to feel horror as the man she had believed to be dead picked her up and carried her out of the crowded chapel, apparently unaware of the blood gushing from his wounds. She didn't even have the strength to listen to the whispers of the people in the chapel, as they stared in amazement at the young man and girl who were covered in identical cuts. All she could do was close her eyes knowing that it didn't matter if she was safe or not... she was alive. She'd survived the Ordeal. She wouldn't die a failure.

* * *

He looked at her as she lay asleep on her bed. He hadn't seen her face for almost two years. Matthew reached out to stroke Ivy's cheek. He'd arrived back a few hours ago, while Ivy had been sitting vigil in the chapel, much to the shock of the Buri, Thayet, Jonathan, and every other person at the palace. He had to admire how thorough Gavin had been. He had covered all possible angles of discovery, sending letters to Ivy, Buri and Jonathan under the pretence that he was Raoul, intercepting Raouls letters to thoroughly check there was no way to say that he was not dead, only missing. He'd even used his Gift to send Ivy an image of Matthews 'death'. And then he'd used an illusion charm on himself, got the job of blacksmith in the palace, and wooed a mourning Ivy into bed with him. Matthew had been stabbed in the back by bandits, but he hadn't been killed. That hadn't been the plan. Gavin had spent his time explaining that. It was more punishing for Ivy to think he was dead, but more punishing for Matthew to have to watch Gavin win her over. And that was exactly what he had done. Kept prisoner in a cave for two years, tied with magic that would not allow him to use his Pyrotic powers, he had been forced by Gavins ally, Rageo, to watch while the woman he love was won over by the man who had raped her. 

Ivy stirred in her sleep and Matthew drew his hand away. She slept lightly now. He'd seen that as well. He'd been tempted to run and throttle Gavin as soon as he had got to the Palace, seeing him across the courtyard picking at a flower, disguised as 'Garrick', but he hadn't. He had been in too much of a rush to get to the Chapel of the Ordeal, just in time to see the stone doors closing behind Ivy. No doubt Gavin had gone now, the look on his face when he saw Matthew had told him that he didn't want to be around now. Looking at Ivy's sleeping face, Matthew kissed her forehead and stood up.

"Night Angel," he murmured, and walked out.

* * *

Raoul, Buri, Jonathan, Thayet, Numair, Daine, Kel, Dom, George, Alanna and Gareth were all waiting outside the room for him. 

"How is she?" Raoul asked quietly, his face white.

"Sleeping." Matthew said. Looking at Jonathan and Thayet, he asked, "Where's Garrick?"

Raoul lifted his head. "Who?"

Matthew ignored him and looked at Jonathan for the answer. He looked surprised, but didn't withold the information.

"Probably in the workshop, or his Chambers... why?"

"Because I need to see him." Matthew said calmly, the only thing that betrayed his state of calm the clenched fists at his sides.

"Who's Garrick?" Raoul asked venemously.

Matthew looked at him, then at the others. "Gavin." he said plainly. "Garrick is Gavin."

* * *

Gavin heard the door open just as he slung his pack over his shoulder. Swearing quietly, he headed over to the wall and lifted up the rug he had hung from the ceiling to reveal the door that lead out of the room and down to the city. He didn't bother with his illusion spell now, he was leaving Tortall for good. He was heading quickly down the tunnel when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned slightly to have a fist connect with his chin. Within a second he had been slammed against the wall of the tunnel. 

"Nice try, Stone Mountain!" Matthew hissed. "But you won't get away that easily!"

Gavin looked over Matthews shoulder. There was no way he would be able to escape, ten of the Kings Own were standing behind Alanna, Raoul, Buri, Thayet, Jonathan, Daine, Numair, George and Gareth. There was no way he would be able to get by.

"Matthew. Let go." Jonathan said quietly.

Matthew looked at him. "What?"

"Let him go." Jonathan said firmly.

"After what he's done? No way... he's not getting away with it."

"Matthew." Jonathan said. "We don't know what Gavin has done. Let him go." Jonathan nodded to two of the men of the Own. They walked forward and took one of Gavin's arms each.

"Other than rape Ivy?" Matthew hissed. "He shouldn't even be here, he should be dead, along with his good for nothing Uncle Joren!"

"Matthew!" Jonathan commanded. "Let go, now! And calm down!" Matthew let go reluctantly, glaring venemously at Gavin as the two men led him back into his rooms and sat him on one of the chairs.

"Gavin of Stone Mountain." Jonathan said quietly, more to himself than anyone else. "You really are a nasty piece of work."

Gavin smiled coldly. "I do try. Run's in the family I've heard. Uncles seem to pass these things onto their nephews, you want to watch out for Tirragen."

Jonathan stood patiently. "You raped Ivy of Goldenlake, and it would appear that you have been behind Matthew's apparent 'death'. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Gavin grinned. "His wench is good for something other than fighting, I'll tell you that much."

Matthew, who had been standing relatively calmly a few metres away, launched forwards and grabbed Gavin's shirt, lifting him off the floor. "You ever speak about Ivy like that and I'll..."

"Matthew!" Jonathan said. "Let go and stand back."

Matthew looked at Gavin, then shoved him roughly backwards. "Bastard." he muttered. Alanna and George both put a hand on his shoulder and they led him outside.

* * *

"So where have you been?" Alanna said when they were in the fresh air. It was midwinter, but was reasonably warm. 

"In a cave." Matthew said bluntly.

George raised an eyebrow. "You expect us to settle for that? Surely you don't believe we think that you would spend two years on your own in a cave?"

Matthew shrugged. "I never said I was alone."

Alanna nodded. "So what happened then? Start from the beginning, don't leave anything out..."

Matthew looked at her, then sighed. "Alright." he said. "But it's a long story. Can we sit somewhere?"

Alanna nodded, and she and George led Matthew to a seat in the courtyard. He sat down and took in a deep breath.

"Everything?" He asked.

Alanna nodded.

"Alright. I left here about a week after you did. I rode all day and was going through some woods - I forget which ones - when some bandits turned up on the rode and knifed me. I hadn't noticed them so couldn't protect myself, and I ended up with a knife stuck in my back. I passed out and woke up apparently a few days later in a cave. Gavin was there, so was Rageo. They'd tied me up with some kind of magic rope or something, I couldn't use my Gift or become a Pyro when I was tied with it. They kept it on me all the time. When they let me relieve myself, they'd attach a rope of it around me and hold the other end while I went behind a bush. I slept with it on, I ate with it. After a few weeks Gavin told me Ivy thought I was dead and showed me her crying in her room using his Gift. About a month later, he left, claiming Rageo would explain everything later on. It took him six months, but eventually Rageo showed me Ivy again. She was with Gavin... Garrick. Gavin had put an illusion spell on himself. It hid pretty much everything about him, except the scar on his cheek. I thought Ivy might recognise it, but she didn't. Rageo showed me them every night. They were always in one of their rooms, on one of their beds, talking. I didn't think she was going to do anything, then one night Rageo showed me the two of them and they were kissing and everything else... from then on it was the same thing all the time, watching them every night getting closer and closer, until one day he got her saying she loved him... up till then I'd been trying to get away, trying to get out of the ropes so I could go and get her back... I gave up after that... I thought she'd forgotten me... he was the only important thing to her now... then a few months ago the magic of the ropes started to fail... I could feel it weakening with every day... I hadn't used my Gift in almost two years, and I didn't plan to... at least not until Rageo showed me Ivy again... she was fiddling with the necklace I'd given her, saying that she was scared and she wanted me there... that was when I started using my Gift to weaken the rops... bit by bit I managed to weaken the ropes, till they were just normal again... Rageo didn't know I was using my Gift, or that the magic was weakening... Gavin wasn't there to tell him any differently either, all he noticed was that I was getting more tired than I had been before. About a month ago, Rageo left me for a while to get some wood for the fire, then I transformed into a Pyro and got rid of the ropes. Rageo got back and found me with my sword in my hand, and knew something had gone wrong. He tried to fight me, thinking I'd have forgotten how to use it after two years without one, but you never forget something like that, and I knew his technique now. He practised in front of me every night for two years, I knew which slices he preferred, which ones he was weakest at... all I had to do was get him to use them, and I could beat him... I did... and he's gone..." Matthew paused and looked at Alanna and George. Both of them were watching him intently. They said nothing, and he went on. "I passed out after that. I must have been out for a week or two, I'm not exactly sure, but when I woke up, all I knew was that I had to get back to Corus and see Ivy. I found out from commoners where I was. It wasn't much of a surprise - Gavin had taken me to Stone Mountain, and hid me in a cave. After that, I stole some food for the journey and headed back here on foot. It would have been too obvious to track me if I stole a horse, and much easier for Gavin's men to find me, and besides that, Rageos men would find out I wasn't there soon, and that Rageo was dead. He sent them letters every week, giving them orders. The deal was that if he didn't write every week, they had to come and see if he was still there. I got out of Stone Mountain as fast as possible and headed back to Corus. About a week ago I reached Tirragen - I figured I should let my parents know I was still alive. They both swore not to tell anyone that they'd seen me, and made the commoners swear too. I stayed there for a day, then took Magic from the stables. - he'd run there when I'd been stabbed. He wasn't as fast as he had been, but he got me here in time... now I want to get Gavin back. I'm going to make him pay. I'm going to get Ivy back, no matter what it takes."

Alanna and George looked at him carefully. "Rageo's dead?" Alanna said eventually.

Matthew nodded. "There's no way he's coming back."

Alanna nodded. "Jon will be pleased... I suppose it wouldn't have hurt to hear what Rageo had to say, but you did what you had to..."

"If Rageo had no Gift... how did he show you Ivy?" George asked.

"Borrowed." Alanna stated. "Gavin must have given him some of his Gift so that he could use it... I'm surprised he could spare it... I didn't even know he could use his Gift properly..."

Matthew shook his head. "He could have been a black robe. He didn't want to be. He thought it gave him more freedom if he wasn't, if he was a Knight he could use his Gift and fight... as a Mage he could only really be one..."

"Makes sense." George shrugged. "But even so, he must have some kind of black opal or something right? Nobody can keep up an illusion charm - no matter how powerful a mage they are - for two years straight without some kind of aid or replenisher."

Matthew nodded. "He's got a black opal hidden in the hilt of his sword, in the middle of his medallion, and in his knives. How he got enough money for them, I have no idea, I'll risk saying Rageo could have put him in touch with a supplier of them..."

"What I don't understand," Matthew went on, "Is why they wanted me there... it couldn't have been anything to Rageo if I was there or not, it wasn't making any difference to his war, and he didn't even know who I was..."

Alanna shook her head. "No. He knew who you are. You were famous in your first year of knighthood. You're probably Tortalls most talented fighter, as well as a Pyro. It was in Rageo's best interests to keep you away from the front line. And I suppose Gavin wanted his revenge on you... and Ivy..."

* * *

They were silent for a few moments, then Jonathan emerged from Gavins rooms with an angry expression on his face. 

"Garrick... Gavin... whoever he is... he wants to see Matthew..."

Matthew, Alanna and George all stood up and moved to enter the rooms again, but Jonathan shook his head.

"He wants to see him alone. The others are just coming. Matthew, we'll be right outside, all you need to do is shout and we'll enter straight away, you understand?"

Matthew nodded. "Sure..."

He opened the door and walked in.

* * *

Gavin sat smirking on his chair. "Well, well, Tirragen, you made it... I can't say I'm surprised, though you did take your time about it... I was expecting you sooner." 

Matthew stood there, watching Gavin as he stood and stretched, a grin on his face.

"I'll tell you something Tirragen, you trained Goldenlake's girl up pretty well... not at all the selfish cow in bed I was expecting... much more interesting when they let you experiment isn't it? Like when she lets you put your fingers..."

"Shut it..." Matthew growled, fists clenched.

"What? You're saying she never let you do that?" he shook his head. "That's shocking... then again... maybe you're the tight assed one, I wouldn't know." Before Gavin knew what hit him, he was slammed against the wall, Matthews much stronger hands holding him firmly there.

"I said shut it!" Matthew hissed. "And I meant it!"

Gavin chuckled. "Well, I mean it when I say I enjoyed it!"

Matthews fist connected with Gavins nose. He felt it splinter under his hand. Gavin gasped in pain.

"Now, shut up!" Matthew growled. "Unless you want a broken jaw to go with your broken nose!"

"You won't get away with it you know Tirragen... if you kill me... Ivy wouldn't forgive you... she doesn't know who I am... she thinks I'm Garrick... her lover Garrick..." he smirked, "Garrick, the man she loves..."

"Shut up!" Matthew said, roughly slamming him harder against the wall. "I said shut up!"

"Why? Don't you want to know the truth? You're 'fiancee' has been sleeping with me for the best part of one and a half years Tirragen... don't you think she's going to have some kind of feelings for me? I can tell you, even if she doesn't, she's welcome to keep feeling me... never enjoyed it quite so..."

Matthew slammed him into the wall once again, then felt his whole body beginning to burn up... no... this couldn't happen... not now... he could control this... he wasn't going to let Gavin win... he wasnt going to let his temper get the better of him...

"I have to say too... she is one hell of a kisser... you know when she whimpers and pretends to be innocent? Gods, that's a hell of a turn on!" Gavin grinned. "Come on Tirragen, lets share stories, experiences... everything else... she's been with both of us... lets give each other tips, then when she wakes up, she can pick who she wants, and he can have a leg over... sorry, I can have a leg over her, with your tips. Sound fair?"

"I'm telling you Stone Mountain, shut it if you know what's best for you!" Matthew was fighting with his anger, trying to get rid of the urge to burst into flame and kill him...

"That's the whole problem though isn't it? What's best for me, in my opinion, is getting one over on you. Getting your girl into bed with me... Gods, you'll never know how great that felt... fiesty little Goldenlake, fiancee of famous, womanizing Tirragen, in bed with Gavin of Stone Mountain... the same guy that raped her..."

"Shut up!"

"You know, I thought nothing could beat the feeling of her body protesting as I took her... but actually, knowing she's defying you... that made it a million times better than any rape..."

"Shut it!" Matthew roared. Fire consumed his whole body, he could feel the flames licking at his body, he could feel the need to kill Gavin, to shut him up... he'd hurt Ivy... he'd decieved her... he couldn't let anyone get away with that!

* * *

**Reviews?**


	34. Can Evil Love?

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

The fire consumed his whole body. Gavin screamed in pain. Somewhere in the distance Matthew heard the door opening, felt some kind of magic encase him, felt his hands being prised away from Gavin. He tried to fight it. What were they doing? Gavin deserved to die! Surely they knew that! He fought to release himself from the strong grips that held him, to break down the magical barrier keeping his fire inside him. He roared in protest, then saw everything go black. Numair had knocked him out. 

Ivy woke up alone. She sat up and looked around. She was in her room, not Garricks... that in itself was odd. Someone had bandaged her wounds up neatly, and someone who knew her well had put a rose next to her bed. She smiled. She didn't know that Garrick knew her favourite flowers were roses... she carefully got out of the bed, wincing as she put pressure on her injured leg. She looked in the corner of the room and fell back down on the bed. Matthew's sword was leaning against the wall. Suddenly Ivy's memory returned. The visions shown to her in the Ordeal of Garrick becoming Gavin, the cuts on her body, inflicted by Gavin. And walking out of the Chamber to be crushed by Matthew's familiar -albeit bleeding- arms wrapped around her back. She felt sick. He wasn't dead... he'd promised he'd be back and she hadn't believed it. She'd gone to bed with another man... another man that was Gavin. She should of known. She'd recognized his scar from somewhere, but she hadn't known where... she'd been sleeping with her rapist for one and a half years! She retched suddenly anduncontrollably. After several minutes,there was nothing left to bring up. She sat there for a few more minutes, her body shaking.She looked at Matthews sword in the corner. If he wasn't dead, where was he? It wasn't like him to wander off... she stood up and gingerly pulled on a shirt and breeches.She walked towards the door, then stopped and picked the sword up. Matthew would be with Gavin. He'd know... somehow, he'd know Garrick was Gavin. 

Raoul, Buri, Dom, Kel, Gareth, Alanna, Numair, Daine, Jonathan and Thayet were all stood outside Garricks rooms. George was knelt with his ear to the keyhole, hand on his lips, indicating for the others to remain quiet. 

"Someone's being slammed against the wall... I think its Gavin but..." he stopped as his eyes fell on Ivy. 

"Where's Matthew?" She said quietly, gripping Matthews sword in both hands - it was too heavy to hold in one hand when she was this weak. 

Raoul was instantly by her side, an arm around her shoulder. "Never mind. You should be in bed resting, you can see him in the morning. Come on, back to bed..." 

"Raoul," Jonathan interrupted, "No. Ivy... Matthew's talking to Garrick... in there..." 

Ivy moved towards the door, but Raoul held her back. Alanna spoke up. 

"Ivy, there's something you should know... Garrick... he isn't who you think he is... he's..." 

"He's Gavin." Ivy finished, and nodded. "I know." 

"But... how... what... why did you court him if you knew?" 

Ivy shook her head. "I didn't know then... I do now..." 

Jonathan looked at her carefully. "The Chamber...?" 

Ivy nodded. 

"Extraordinary..." 

Raoul shrugged. "Jonathan, we'll talk to Ivy in the morning... she needs rest!" 

Jonathan looked at Raoul with sadness in his blue eyes. He shook his head slowly. "Ivy needs to face this now Raoul, not tomorrow..." 

"No. She needs rest!" Raoul argued. "She's had her Ordeal for tonight! Leave her be Jonathan!" 

"Raoul..." Jonathan said firmly. "Ivy needs to face this... dragging it out will not solve anything!" 

"It will solve her being dead on her feet! Look at her Jonathan! She's had so many cuts she can hardly walk! There is no way on earth I am letting her face that rapist while she's in this state!" 

Jonathanmet Raouls eyes firmly. "Raoul, she needs to face him now!" 

"No Jonathan!" Raoul roared. "I'm her father, I know what is best for her, and I say that's rest!" 

"I'm her Uncle and your King! Do not make me use it against you Raoul of Goldenlake!" 

Raoul glared at Jonathan for several seconds, his fists clenched. Buri put her hand on his arm, and he calmed down. Jonathan cast a last look at Raoul, before looking over at Ivy. 

"Ivy, Gavin and Matthew are both in there... you should go in... if you need us, you only need to shout." He put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead, before standing aside. Ivy smiled weakly at him and opened the door. 

Matthew had slammed Gavin against the wall - and it was Gavin, not Garrick. Matthews body was covered in flames. For a second, Ivy wanted to let him kill Gavin, make him pay for everything... but she couldn't. She needed an explanation. "Numair!" She called out of the door. "Numair!" 

Almost instantly, Numair was by her side. His eyes took in the scene and suddenly Matthew was covered in black fire. The flames around his body died. Instinctively, Ivy ran forwards and caught him as he fell to the floor, unconscious. 

It felt strange, having him in her arms after so long apart... she held him with shaking hands, forgetting the man who was gasping for breath against the wall... she looked at Matthew. He was sweating. His cuts, identical to hers, hadn't been tended to... the one on his cheek was bleeding. The blood was slowly mingling with the sweat on his head, going slightly more watery. Absently she wiped his face with her sleeve, ignoring the adults who had just entered the room, ignoring the fact that her father, George and Gareth were all grabbing hold of Gavin to make sure he didn't try to get away. Matthew stirred in her arms and she froze. What if he didn't want her anymore? What if he couldn't bear to look at her knowing that she'd been with Gavin. _He wouldn't be the only one, _she thought, _I can hardly bear to think about it! _Matthew opened his eyes. 

His vision was blurred. Someone was stood above him, but the light was blocked and all he could see was a shadow above him, and feel hair tickling his neck. He blinked several times, then smiled weakly. 

"Ivy..." he murmured. "You look great..." 

Ivy laughed slightly, then bit her lip. "You look a mess... you need a healer..." 

"I missed you too sweetie..." Matthew chuckled. 

Ivy bit harder, trying to stop tears welling up in her eyes. She failed. Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I missed you too." 

Matthew smiled and reached up to stroke her face. "So what's changed?" he asked quietly. 

"What do you mean?" Ivy whispered. 

"Feelings... how've they changed?" 

"They haven't..." Ivy said quietly. 

Matthew tried to smile. "They must have. You're with... Gavin..." 

Ivy shook her head. "I was with Garrick, not Gavin. I could never be with Gavin, you know that!" 

Matthew sighed. "I don't know if I do... I was gone six months and you were in his arms... I don't know how you feel any more..." 

"Matthew... don't say that! I love you... I've always loved you! I've never stopped! Never... I couldn't stop even if I wanted to, you know that! I just want..." 

Matthews hand covered her mouth and he sat up. "Shh... don't say anything... just show me..." He tilted his face slightly to the side, then pulled her face gently towards him. Ivy hesitated, then pressed his lips with hers. Instantly, she knew he was the only one she could ever love. It was their first kiss in two years... it felt better than any they had ever shared before... he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her in his strong hold, pulling her close to his chest. Nothing would ever make him leave her again. Nobody would ever be allowed close enough to hurt her. Reluctantly, they pulled apart, hearing Gavin being lead from the room as he swore to bring both of them down. Ivy's family left the room, leaving she and Matthew alone.They stared at each other for several seconds, then Matthew stood and pulled her to her feet. When she was standing, he wrapped his arms round her again and hugged her fiercely. 

"I'm sorry..." he murmured, nipping her ear affectionately. "I didn't mean to get so carried away... I just needed to know that this was still real." 

Ivy smiled. "Of course it is..." 

Matthew looked at her with calm, blue eyes. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." he said eventually. 

Ivy nodded. "I think I have a pretty good idea." 

He leant down, cupping her face in his hands, and kissed her sweetly. When he let go, she was shivering, and scarcely able to stand up. 

"Come on..." he said quietly. "I want to see Gavin." 

Ivy shook her head. "Can't we just stay here?" she asked. 

Matthew kissed her forehead. "He has some serious explaining to do." 

"But I haven't seen you in two years! Why can't we just forget about him and be together... just for now?" 

Matthew looked at her steadily. "Later." He promised. "I want this sorted out." he kissed her again. "Come on. The quicker we go, the quicker we can be alone again." He offered her his hand and led her out of the room. 

Gavin, along with Ivy's family, were all in the King and Queens quarters. Matthew and Ivy entered to recieve the dirtiest look either could remember having seen before, from Gavin. Matthew resisted the urge to blast him into flames, and led Ivy to the other side of the room, putting protective arms around her waist and leaning against the wall. 

"Are you going to explain yourself?" Jonathan asked Gavin quietly. "Or will you lose all dignity and wait for us to give you truth drops?" 

"Oh, I'll tell you everything, as soon as I've killed that bastard, I'll tell you all you want to know!" 

"You'll tell us now." Jonathan said firmly. "Or you will be given truth drops." 

Gavin glared at the King, then shrugged. "Fine. What do you want to know?" 

"Why you have such a hatred of Matthew would be a good place to start. Then you could tell us why Ivy had to suffer so much." 

Gavin smiled. "Why I hate Tirragen? You want to know that? Fine. His Great- Uncle Alex of Tirragen... he was one of the few decent men this Realm has ever had. He knew what was worth fighting for. Riches. Power. He knew how to treat people, how to fool them... just like my Uncle. When we started here, as Pages, I offered Tirragen an olive branch; we could carry on our families work, show people that our families were powerful and commanded respect. But no, Tirragen had his heart set on being the good guy, fighting for his King, protecting the Crown and the Heirs. So we ended up as enemies. He was always there in the stable yard if any of my friends started hurting the other Pages, he was always the one they looked up to, the one that would save them if things got hard. Then when I was in my fourth year as a Page, he caught me beating a commoner. He didn't tell anyone. He demanded a combat. Instead of turning me in, he'd use it as a trial; if the Gods wanted me to stop beating people, he would win. He did. And I stopped beating people. I became the Kings squire. I continued terrorizing Pages of course, on my days off. I'd send my friends down to the stables to pick on them, make sure they cleaned my horse. And Tirragen didn't find out. He thought that because he'd won that stupid 'trial by combat' that I'd never beat another person again. So I had to show him he was wrong. I wouldn't beat him, I wasn't stupid enough to try, but I watched him for years, trying to find his weakness, someone who meant something to him... someone he'd die for... in other words, someone who, by hurting them, I hurt him. And then I found out about his wench. At first I thought it was him and his games with women again, but no. I saw them together, in the Royal forest, in the grounds of the Palace, holding hands, kissing. It was obvious then that Tirragen had found someone he cared for. So when I was appointed General, I forbade him to bring Ivy to the camp, knowing that by doing so, I was ensuring she came. He hated the idea of me being in control of him and his decisions. And I was right, within weeks, Ivy was at the camp, and I could carry out my plan..." Gavin grinned to himself, then went on. "It didn't work quite as well as I'd hoped. I'd thought if I fought her, I could cut off a limb, lop it off then give it to Tirragen as she lay there dying... but I didn't win. She cut my face open and beat me. And then I realized that I didn't need to kill her. I could hurt Tirragen much more through raping her, and then, after that, making her fall in love with me... making her fall into bed with me... So thats what happened. I planned it carefully. I raped Ivy, then left the camp to join Rageo. Then I watched Tirragen as he took Ivy home, as they got closer again. Then, as he left the Palace, I set out to meet him on the journey back, with three thieves who wanted three gold nobles for knifing him. I gave it to them, and after stabbing him, I took him back to the cave where Rageo and I had been. For six months I showed him Ivy mourning his apparent death, then I disappeared and went to join her. And then everything fell into place. I acted the sympathetic blacksmith who was worried about her, and within months she was sharing my bed. And Matthew saw it all, I made sure of that. I'd get letters from Rageo every so often, telling me about the war, telling me how Matthew was falling even more apart with each day. And then it happened. I got Ivy saying she loved me, and then he was really broken. More broken than he had ever been. It was fantastic! I don't need to say it, but his trial-by-combat failed. I beat him. I beat Ivy. I destroyed him." 

"But it didnt work." Matthew said. "I'm still here, Ivy's mine again" He smirked," So what went wrong?" he challenged. 

Gavin glared at him, "Rageo messed up. He wasn't used to containing the Gift I leant to him. Every night when you were sleeping he let the magic down so he could replenish it. But after one and a half years, he found it harder to keep the magic up all day. It weakened more every day. He thought you wouldn't notice as long as he kept some magic on the ropes, but obviously you did." Gavin smiled, "I can't say I regret him letting you get here. In a way, it just makes my plan more perfect. I hurt you through Ivy, and now I hurt Ivy through you. Let's just say it adds to the excitement..." 

Yellow fire gathered around his hands and errupted around his whole body. Matthew released Ivy and pushed her towards Raoul and Buri who were stood beside them. As soon as he was sure Ivy was out of the way, he errupted into flame. 

He felt the flames consume him. He was one with the fire. He controlled it. If he wanted to burn this bastard to death, he would. Matthew gathered a ball of fire in each hand and threw them towards Gavins yellow form. There was a flicker of yellow as the fire hit Gavins arm and he growled in anger. Matthew jumped forward, smashing a flame-consumed arm into Gavin's face and sending him flying into the wall. Gavin spun and hit his spine on the stone of the wall. He roared in fury and jumped to his feet, the yellow glow surrounding him becoming brighter. Matthew hesitated, then concentrated on using his Gift. Blue flames errupted around him, licking his body in the same way that his orange fire did. He saw Gavin's hesitation, and flew forwards with amazing speed, throwing punches at Gavin with his firey fists. Within seconds, blistering red patches covered Gavins arms from where he had managed to block Matthew's hits, while they also covered his face where he had landed the punch. Gavin tried to power his Gift more, to burn Matthew enough to get him to back off, but that was impossible. Matthew could stand heat no other man could, there was no way Gavin could burn him enough to get him to leave him alone, especially not when he was this angry. 

Matthew jumped into the air, kicking his foot into Gavins stomach and sending him spiralling into the wall. He fell forward and Matthew caught him in a headlock. He could feel Gavins neck blistering as he applied more and more pressure. Hefelt Ivy watching him and looked around. She was looking at himpleadingly. And Matthewunderstood instantly, even though it wrenched his gut to admit it. She didn't wantMatthew to kill him. Somewhere along the line,Gavin had madeher feel somethingfor him, something that wouldn't let her watch him die. Matthew looked at her, then noddedbut it wasonly when Gavin was gasping for breath and his Gift hadflickered outthat he let him drop to the floor. 

"I don't think it'll be you killing me!" Matthew said quietly. His fire dropped and he kicked Gavin a final time before walking back over to Ivy. She stared at Gavin as he lay on the floor, but said nothing. 

"You love him?" Matthew asked quietly, his voice hoarse. 

Ivy shook her head. "No... I don't love him. I hate him... but..." 

Matthew looked down. "But...?" 

"I don't know..." Ivy whispered. "When you weren't here... he helped me through it... he cheered me up..." she looked at Matthew. "Nobody's all bad..." 

Matthew took her hand and pulled it to his chest. "The man who cheered you up wasn't Gavin, it was Garrick." 

Ivy shook her head. "Gavin _was _Garrick..." Matthew sighed. 

"Fine. I won't hurt him... but what do I do with him? If he stays, you might fall for Gavin this time around, if he goes you'll miss him because there's apparently good in him." 

Ivy didn't look at him. She didn't tell him what was on her mind. Gavin might have got her saying 'I love you' easily, but it was only the previous evening before Ivy left for her purifying bath that he had said he loved her back... she didn't want to think about Gavin loving her, but if he did, she wouldn't be able to let him die... she couldn't bear that guilt... 

Jonathan had walked over and he was looking at Ivy andMatthew carefully. "He can't leave." He said plainly. "He's earnt a death on traitors hill." he looked at his niece. "Ivy, this is the man who raped you... he fooled you into thinking yourfiancee was dead... surely you don't want to let himtry and ruinother peoples lives like hetried to ruin yours and Matthews?" 

Ivy shook her head. "Of course I don't... it's just..." she stoppedwhenMatthew dropped her hand. 

"Just what?" Matthew roared. "Just the fact he's a lying bastard who told you nothing but lies? Or that he raped you? How can you want him to live after everything he's done to you? Everything he's done to us!" 

"It's not like that! He's..." 

"I don't want to hear it! He's lied to you and pretended to be someone he isn't... how canhe deserve anything except death?" 

Ivy went to take Matthews hand, but he shook her off. 

"Don't!" He snapped and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Nobody in the room noticed the smile on Gavins face, or that his eyes were filled with a tender look ashe watched Ivy lean against the wall. 

**I am soooo sorry for the hold up... my computer has been spazzing up and not working at all... hope it was ok... reviews?**


	35. Say Goodbye

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**So some mixed views from the last chapter then... well thats interesting...**

**Keep reading...

* * *

**

Matthew slammed the door closed, then leant against the wall for support. This couldn't be happening. There was no possible way that Ivy could be feeling that way... it wasn't right... what had he done to deserve being treated like this, as if he were the one who'd hurt her so many times? Why was Gavin the man earning Ivy's protection, when all Matthew had ever done was fall in love with her and tell her the truth? What had Gavin done that made him so special, so good? How could anything he had done make her so keen to stop him being killed?

* * *

Ivy stared at the closed door, tears streaming from her eyes. She didn't dare go after Matthew, in case he got angry with her... she didn't know what she would have said to him anyway. How could she tell him that Gavin wasn't all bad, after everything he had said and done? What if the man she liked, was just a fake, and that Gavin was just an extremely good actor? Was it possible that through all of the lies and the cheating, he'd shown a part of himself that was real? Or was she just hoping that somewhere there was a loophole, so that she wouldn't have to admit the one thing that was hurting her the most; she had fallen in love with a lie. She looked across at Gavin, feeling his eyes on her. Was it possible that the look in his eyes wasn't forced, and that he seriously felt something? She tore her eyes away from his. She wasn't in love with him. She loved Matthew. She had since as long as she could remember. She always would love him. Her feelings for Gavin could never compare to how she felt for Matthew. And her feelings for Gavin weren't even _for _Gavin. They were for Garrick, a man who didn't and never had existed. It had all been a lie. All of the comfort that he'd offered, all of his company... none of it had been real. It had just been a way to get back at Matthew for being a better man than he was. Ivy walked towards the door, trying to ignore the wave of sadness that took hold of her, knowing that her lover was a fake.

* * *

Matthew heard the door open and looked around. His breathing was heavy as he tried to control his anger. "What?" he asked quietly, avoiding Ivy's gaze.

Ivy looked at him for a few moments. "I..." she closed her mouth, then tried again. "I don't love him."

Matthew looked at her. "You don't?" he asked quietly.

Ivy shook her head.

"Really?" He asked. "So why do you not want him to pay for everything he's done? What's he done that means he can't deserve everything thats coming to him and more?"

Ivy looked at him. "I don't know..." she whispered. "I don't understand anything... I thought you were dead, Matthew... it's not my fault I fell for him..."

Matthew nodded. "I know... sweetie, I know..." he pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "I know... I'm sorry..." he ran a hand gently through her hair. "I didn't mean to over-react... I'm sorry..." he kissed her forehead softly. "I know it's hard sweetie, I understand..." he rubbed her back gently and tilted her head up to kiss her. She sighed slightly, then kissed him back. After several minutes, Matthew pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you..." he murmured quietly. "And I'm sorry..."

Ivy nodded. "I am too... I love you..."

Matthew smiled weakly. Then his smile vanished. "Come on." he said quietly. "We should go back in..."

Ivy nodded slowly, then stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek, before re-entering the room.

* * *

Gavin looked at Ivy as she entered, a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. She ignored him, and gripped Matthew's hand slightly harder than was neccesary. He squeezed back reassuringly, then looked at Jonathan.

"So what happens?" He asked quietly.

Jonathan sighed. "It's possible for Ivy to drop the charges against him for rape, if thats what she wants..." he looked at his niece, who shook her head slowly. Matthew held her tighter as he noticed the anger flare in Gavins eyes. "As for the rest of it," Jonathan continued, "He has to face the consequences of betraying his realm, as well as kidnapping and masquerading..." he shook his head. "There's no way he can get any better than death on Traitors Hill."

Ivy gulped. "Wh... what?"

Matthew looked down, not wanting to see the look on Ivy's face that told him it wasn't what she wanted.

"Ivy... he deserves it..." until then, Raoul had remained silent, now he spoke for the first time in a hoarse voice. "After everything he's done to you... you're better off without him..."

Matthew avoided looking at Ivy, but pulled her to his chest, feeling her shaking.

"When?" he asked Jonathan.

Jonathan hesitated. "Within a day of capture... by sunrise tomorrow..."

Matthew nodded slowly. "Right..." he looked at Gavin, who sat tight lipped, not taking his eyes off Ivy. Matthew resisted the urge to hit him and tell him to look elsewhere. He looked down at Ivy, feeling a slight wet patch on his shoulder. Anger began to well up inside him, but he forced himself to control it. He tilted her head to see that she was sleeping, biting her lip as she dreamt. He gently scooped her into his arms, holding her for a few seconds. He looked over at Jonathan and Ivy's family. "I'll be back in a few minutes..." he murmured, and carried her out of the room.

* * *

He laid her gently down on the bed, kissing her lips lightly.

"I love you, Ivy..." he said into her ear.

She stirred. "I love you too..." she murmured back.

He smiled slightly and left the room.

* * *

Matthew walked slowly back to Jonathan and Thayets rooms. A shocking realization gripped him as he did so; he didn't want Gavin to die. Death wasn't a punishment, it was just getting rid of them. Punishment would force him to see what he had done, and... see the woman he loved with someone else. Matthew told himself that he wasn't trying to use Ivy as a way of getting back at Gavin, that he only wanted to be with her because he loved her... but he knew that deep down, beneath the love that he felt for Ivy, there was a deep need for revenge... at least Gavin would feel what Matthew had been forced to endure for the last one and a half years...

* * *

Raoul stared venomously at Gavin, whilst talking to Jonathan. "Death? You want him to be free from everything and get away with it? What punishment is that? He should be forced to live with what he's done, not get out of it so easily!"

Jonathan answered calmly. "We'll leave his punishment after life up to the Gods, it's my duty to rid this Realm of men who will hurt other women as Gavin has done to Ivy. Rapists are not going to roam my Realm, Raoul. I refuse to allow it."

"So don't let him roam the Realm." Raoul snapped." Stick him in prison and do what he's done to Matthew, force him to look at the woman he loves as she tells another man she loves him."

Jonathan looked at Raoul calmly. "I don't think Gavin is in love with your daughter Raoul..."

"Jonathan, you only have to look at him! He's messed up his stupid little plan and fallen in love with his victim!"

At that moment Matthew entered again. "She's sleeping in her room." Matthew said, in answer to the questioning look Raoul gave her.

Raoul nodded and looked back at Jonathan. "So? Why does he have to die? Can't he live with it? If he can't then tough, I'd love to see him suffer! Dirty, perverted bastard!"

Jonathan shook his head. "I'm sorry Raoul. It can't be left to chance that he can escape. I don't want to have a hundred peasants trying to break down the Palace doors because I let a rapist live when he should have died."

Raoul shook with fury. "Why can't you bind him the way he had Rageo bind Matthew?"

Jonathan sighed. "Is Matthew here with us, Raoul?"

"What? What do you mean is he here with us? Of course he's here, he's right..."

Jonathan nodded. "Exactly. Matthew escaped magical binds. I have no doubt that given enough time Gavin would be able to as well."

Raoul shook his head. "That's different. Rageo wasn't a mage, he was only borrowing someone elses Gift. You and Numair could bind him and keep him there!"

Jonathan shook his head. "My decision is final." He looked out of the window. "Tomorrow at sunrise..." he looked at Gavin and shook his head again. "I'm sorry I failed you as a Knight Master. It would appear I didn't teach you enough good manners and courtesy... or to obey orders and not jeapordise others trust in you..." He looked at Matthew. "Is there anything you'd like to say?"

Matthew nodded. "But I'd like to say it alone, if that's alright."

Jonathan hesitated, then nodded to the rest of Ivy's family, motioning for them to leave the room with him. He closed the door and left Matthew and Gavin alone.

* * *

Matthew stared at Gavin in silence, for several minutes, until Gavin spoke. "If you're going to say something, just say it and get it over with!"

Matthew sighed. "You love her." he said plainly. "You love the woman I'm supposed to marry."

Gavin rolled his eyes. "It's called acting! I have no feelings whatsoever for her..."

Matthew managed a small chuckle. "I'm not stupid. If you didn't love her, you'd have fought us all of the time she was here, trying to get away from us. But you didn't... you could hardly even look at her without something showing in your eyes. Maybe Raoul and I were the only people who realized it, but maybe thats just that we were the ones watching your every move and making sure you didn't try to hurt her anymore."

Gavin sighed. "Alright Tirragen. You got me! I love Ivy! After a couple of months she grew on me... what did you expect? I've been sleeping with her for a year and a half, surely you didn't expect me to be able to avoid getting any feelings for her in that time? I was either going to end up hating her or loving her! It's not my fault the one thing I didn't want to happen _did _happen!"

Matthew shook his head. "Why couldn't you just be a man and face me, like any normal man would have? Why did you have to make her suffer? What had she ever done to you, except be with me?"

Gavin laughed. "That's exactly it! She was with _you. _And you were totally and utterly devoted to her! I could have fought you, but we both know I'd have probably lost, and I knew I could cause you more pain through her than through any number of gashes I put on your legs. I mean look at you. You're covered in blood and gashes and all you can think about is protecting your precious Ivy... she means more to you than anything else in the world, she's the only thing that you care about. And everyone knows that there's no better way to hurt anyone than hurt their loved ones."

Matthew looked at him carefully. "What would you do... if I hurt Ivy?"

Gavin shot him a glance. "You wouldn't..." he said quietly.

"What would you do... if I hit her...?"

Gavin stared. "I'd.. I'd..." he met Matthew's eyes. "I'd kill you..."

Matthew nodded and gripped Gavins chin in an iron hold. "Exactly. Now think what you'd do if I raped her, lied to her, faked your death so I could get close to her, and whatever else you've done."

Gavin said nothing. Matthew tightened his hold on Gavins chin. "Done thinking?" He raised an eyebrow. "No?" He kicked Gavins stomach hard. Blood sprayed from Gavins mouth as he was thrown against the wall. "Let me help you out..." Matthew clenched his fists and let fire encase them. "Have you ever felt so angry, that you can't control anything inside you, and the only thing that you want to do is beat whoever's made you angry to death?" Matthew swung his fist into Gavins face, leaving another blistering patch of skin on the side of Gavins face. "Well if you haven't..." he flipped backwards, catching Gavin in the mouth with his foot. "This is what a really pissed off guy looks like when you've been screwing his fiancee around..."

* * *

Matthew looked at Gavin as he lay unconscious on the floor. He couldn't help but feel guilty... Ivy would hate him... how could he have done that...? He'd known she had feelings for him, even if he didn't know how deep...

He stood up and walked over to the door, shutting it quietly behind him. Raoul, Jonathan and Numair stood in front of him with their arms crossed.

"What was that about Matthew?" Jonathan asked calmly... too calmly.

"Just... sorting some things out... clarifying something..." Matthew muttered.

Numair moved towards the door, but Matthew stepped in the way.

"Erm... you don't want to be going in there..." Matthew said casually.

"Oh really?" Numair asked. "And why would that be?"

Matthew shrugged. "Well... Gavin's not in the best of states... he's a bit... messy..."

Numair raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well... well... he's a bit... messed up... in the head... you know... emotionally challenged..."

"Move out of the way Matthew." Jonathan said calmly.

"Seriously... he's a mess... I think he wants to be alone for a while..." Matthew was pushed gently, but firmly to the side by Raoul, and Numair led them into the room.

"Mithros... Matthew... what happened?"

Matthew looked at Raoul, then Numair and Jonathan. "I..." he paused. "I got mad, ok? Come on! I mean, after everything he's done to Ivy, you don't expect me to settle for him being killed? I want him to suffer for what he's done to her! It's not like I killed him... but if he's going to die he should suffer while he waits!"

Jonathan looked at Matthew. "I know this is hard Matthew, but that doesn't give you the right to beat Gavin up. He's got one day left Matthew, I want you to leave him alone! Whilst he's a prisoner he is under the protection of the Palace. I cannot allow you to beat him up like you have done!"

Matthew took in a deep breath. "Fine... I'll leave him alone... but I don't agree with it..."

"I wouldn't expect you to Matthew."

* * *

Matthew was sat next to Ivy on the bed, his hand stroking her hair absently as she slept. He stopped as she stirred, moving his hand slowly away. Ivy turned over and looked at him, smiling slightly.

"Hey..." she murmured.

"Hello..." Matthew said quietly, sliding down so that he lay next to her, his face level with hers. "How you feeling?"

Ivy shrugged. "Ok I suppose..."

Matthew reached out and stroked her chin, then kissed her gently. As she began to kiss him back, he pulled gently away. "Ivy... I need to ask you something..."

Ivy frowned. "What?"

He looked down. "It's about Gavin..."

"What? I thought we'd been through this! I don't love him! I love you! Please can we just not..."

"No, it's not that... it's just..." Matthew looked down. "I need to know something..." he kissed her forehead. "Nothing you say will change how I feel about you alright? So if you want to... just tell me..." He breathed in deeply, then met her eyes. "His execution... or whatever you want to call it... do you... want to go?"

He looked down as he felt the grip on his hand loosen. "I... I hadn't thought about it..."

Matthew shook his head. "Look... it doesn't matter... just get some sleep, you can think about it later..." he kissed her forehead and went to get up, but Ivy's hand gripped hers tight.

"Matthew...?" she asked gently.

"What is it, sweetie?"

Ivy looked down, then met his eyes again. "I want to go... but..."

Matthew bit his lip, "but what?" he asked with a calmness he wished he felt.

"I want you to come with me... I just... I want him to see we're stronger than he thinks..."

Matthew looked at her, then sat down next to her. "Of course I'll go... but... Ivy... there's something you should know..."

Ivy looked up at him. "What is it?"

"He... Ivy... Gavin's in love with you..." Tears formed in Matthews eyes. "Ivy... if you love him... just tell me... please... I need to know..."

Ivy shook her head. "He... he can't love me..."

"Ivy... he does... just... please... I have to know how you feel..."

"Matthew... you know I don't love him... I love you... I could only ever love you this way..." she knelt up on her knees and kissed his lips tenderly. "Please believe me..?"

Matthew nodded. "I do..." he murmured. He wrapped his arms around her and began to cover her face and neck with kisses, ravaging on the skin that for so long had been untouchable. Matthews hand slid up Ivy's shirt, massaging her back gently.

"Gods... I've missed you... so much..." he undid the buttons of her shirt with gentle ease, kissing her collarbone, gently running his lips over her soft skin.

"I know... I missed you too..."

"I love you..." Matthew murmured. "You'll never know how much..."

"I do... I know... I love you..."

Ivy's hands moved to undo Matthew's shirt, just as there was a knock at the door. Matthew pulled away reluctantly, and kissed Ivy's forehead. "Why are we always interrupted?" he asked quietly. Ivy gave him a weak smile, then pulled on her shirt, nodding towards the door. Matthew sighed and got up, opening the door.

Raoul gave Matthew a small smile as he opened the door. "Sorry." He said. "Buri and I never got to congratulate Ivy on her Ordeal... can we come in?"

"Err... sure." He stepped to the side and allowed Ivy's parents in. When the door was closed, Matthew sat beside Ivy on the bed, his arm around her waist.

"So... it looks like we need to buy you some new armour..."

* * *

Ivy fell asleep again after Raoul and Buri had left, whilst Matthew went to find Jonathan.

"We're postponing the ceremony of Ivy's knighthood... I think she needs some time... and I don't think she wants to have two such contrasting things happen in one evening..."

Matthew nodded. "Yeah... that makes sense..."

Jonathan looked at him carefully. "Matthew... you don't have to go... niether does Ivy... I don't want you to feel you have to go..."

"I don't..." Matthew insisted. "She wants to go... and I want to be there with her... she wants me there..."

Jonathan nodded slowly. "Ok... then we go to Traitors Hill at sunrise in the morning..." He put a hand on Matthews shoulder. "Make sure you both get some sleep... it won't be pretty."

Matthew nodded. "Yeah... I know."

* * *

The sun was just rising. Traitors hill was a mere black spec in the distance as they made there way towards it. Ivy was quiet in Thunders saddle, gripping his reins until her knuckles turned white. Matthew tried not to look at her. He kept wondering about earlier. If they hadn't been interrupted, if they'd made love again, would she still look so sick? _Yes, _he thought, _she's just found out he's a lying bastard, of course she's going to feel sick! _

"Ivy..." Matthew said, edging closer to her. "Relax, alright..." he reached over and gripped her hand. "I'm here alright... and I know that's not a big deal but..."

"It is..." Ivy insisted. "After everything... it is a big deal you're here with me..."

Matthew nodded. "Ok..." he looked around then edged back in his saddle. "Come here..."

Ivy smiled ever so slightly, then slipped into his saddle, settling back to rest against his chest. Matthew took Thunders reins and held them in his left hand while his other held the reins.

"I'm here ok... you need anything and I'm here... I love you..."

Ivy nodded and looked round. "I know... I love you too..." she kissed his lips gently, running her tongue ever so lightly over his lips. Matthew was about to kiss back when she pulled away and rested her head on his chest. Matthew sighed, and kicked his horse into a trot to catch up with the others.

* * *

Matthew held Ivy in his arms as several men of the kings own tied Gavin to a pole on top of a pile of wood. He could feel Ivy's body shaking as she cried onto his shoulder. All he could do was hold her and rub her back...

Jonathan began to read out the sentence. In Matthews opinion, it was a complete waste of time. Everyone there knew what Gavin had done and why he was there... nobody needed to hear it... especially not Ivy. He rubbed her back gently, kissing her hair and trying to take her mind off what was being said. He wanted her to know what he'd done, and get rid of any feelings she might have for him, but not like this...

"Hey..." he whispered. "Hey... come on... it's fine ok... I'm here..." he rocked her gently back and forth. "I'm here alright... I'm here... just breathe..." he stopped when he saw a man lifting a torch and walking towards the pile of wood that Gavin was tied to. Ivy looked round just as the torch met with the wood. Fire licked instantly towards Gavin, and his cry of pain split the air. Matthew felt Ivy shake uncontrollably as she fought to control her tears, and found himself letting go of her and absorbing the fire into his hands. Ivy looked at him, just as everyone else did.

"Say goodbye..." Matthew said, avoiding her eyes. Ivy stared at him. "Ivy... just say goodbye..." She hesitated, then ran over to the pile of wood, pausing at the top of the pile before putting her arms around Gavin and kissing his lips gently. He kissed her back with warmth. She pulled away, tears streaming down her face.

"Ivy..." Gavin whispered, his eyes half closed. "I love you..." He leant forward to catch her lips again, sucking her lower lip gently. "I'm sorry... I love you... I'm sorry for everything..."

Ivy sobbed and kissed his lips gently. "Bastard!" she whispered, then turned and ran back to Matthew.

* * *

Matthew watched her kissing Gavin. He could feel everyone else's eyes on him, wondering what in the dark Gods realm he was thinking... Matthew was wondering the exact same thing. As Ivy ran back towards him, Matthew nodded to the man who held the torch. With confusion showing plainly on his face, the man relit the wood. Ivy was in Matthews arms suddenly, gripping his back hard.

"Thank you..." she whispered into his shirt.

Matthew held her close, burying his face in her hair. "It's fine... I couldn't live with myself if you didn't get to say goodbye..." he kissed her forehead.

"I love you." Ivy whispered.

Matthew nodded. "I love you too..." he pressed his lips to hers, taking her mind away from the cries of pain coming from Gavin's direction.

* * *

**I have no idea if they would burn people or not, it just fitted with the story I guess... its kind of hard to stop a sword fight, say goodbye, then carry on... but anyway, I would love to hear what you think... reviews please? **

**Mage of the Heart**


	36. I Just Want To Dance With You

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

Matthew held Ivy's hand and walked her to her room in silence. He didn't know what to say to her... he still wondered if he had done the right thing in letting her say goodbye to Gavin... what if she realized her feelings for him and put up an emotional barrier niether of them could let down? They were at Ivy's room, and Matthew dropped her hand, reaching out to stroke the hair from her face. "Night Ivy..." he kissed her softly on the lips, then pulled away and turned down the corridor.

He was halfway down the hall when Ivy called after him. "Matthew?"

Matthew turned. "What's wrong?" he asked, running a hand nervously through his hair.

"Aren't... aren't you coming in?"

Matthew hesitated, then shook his head. "You need to get some sleep... I'll come by in the morning, I promise." He turned to walk again.

"Matthew... please?" Ivy said quietly. "I... I don't want to be alone..."

Matthew stopped, then sighed. "Ok... I'll stay until you fall asleep..." He walked back to her and took her hand briefly, brushing his lips against it. "Come on then..."

---

Ivy led him in and sat on her bed. Her things were packed in boxes around the room. Someone had moved them from her Squires chamber. Matthew avoided meeting Ivy's eyes and walked over to the desk, picking up a thick wad of parchment, bound together by string.

"What are these...?" he asked, wanting to break the horrible silence.

"Letters..." Ivy said quietly.

Matthew nodded slowly. "Who from..?"

Ivy sighed. "Look at the writing.." she said, then lay on her side facing away from Matthew. He lazily untied the string and took the first letter off the pile. He only had to look at the writing of _Dear Ivy_, to know that these were all letters he himself had sent.

"I'm surprised you haven't burnt them." he said blandly.

"Why would I burn them?" Ivy asked, her tears close to falling down her face.

"I... I don't know... maybe when you found out I was dead... when you started seeing Garrick..."

Ivy turned to look at him. "Haven't you got the ones I sent you?"

Matthew shook his head. "I would have, if I'd gone back to the camp... but... I didn't."

Ivy looked at him, then sighed. "What's wrong?"

Matthew turned. "Nothing... nothings wrong..."

"Then why didn't you want to stay with me..?" Ivy whispered.

"I did... I just... Ivy... I'm just... I don't know what's happening with us anymore..." He walked over and knelt next to the bed taking her hands in his. "When you kissed Gavin... all I could think was that you loved him..."

Ivy looked at him with hurt showing in her eyes. "You said I could say goodbye..."

Matthew nodded. "I didn't know you'd start making out with him though..." Matthew gripped her hand gently. "Ivy... you know anything you say or do won't stop me loving you... I just want to know what you said to him... what he said to you..."

Ivy looked at him for several seconds. "You mean you don't trust me?" she whispered.

Matthew shook his head. "You know that isn't true... I just want to know what you felt for him... it's..." he looked at her then sighed. "It's not important." he said quietly. "Forget I said anything." He got to his feet then fell onto the bed with a sigh. "Get some sleep Ivy..." he whispered.

Ivy lay herself carefully next to him, resting her head on his chest and letting his arm go around her waist. She closed her eyes and breathed him in, trying to understand what he was feeling. After a while, she felt him stirring beside her. "Where are you going?" Ivy asked quietly.

"I..." Matthew looked at her then shrugged. "I need some fresh air... I'll be back in a bit..." He turned and walked to the door. When his hand was on the handle, Ivy spoke up.

"Matthew... he said he loved me..."

Matthew turned and looked at her. "What... what did you say?"

"I called him a bastard."

Matthew stepped back. He'd got worked up about that? He shook his head and walked back over to Ivy's bed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to sit on him as he knelt down. Gently, he nuzzled at her nose with his. "I love you..." he murmured, entwining her fingers with his.

"I know..." Ivy whispered, kissing the corner of his lips gently. "I love you.."

Matthew stopped when he felt cold metal on his finger. He pulled away and looked at Ivy's hand. Matthew's ring glinted on her finger, as bright as it had been two years ago. He smiled. "You still wear this?" he asked quietly.

Ivy nodded. "Why wouldn't I?" she replied, stroking his hair.

Matthew shook his head. "I don't know..." he lifted the black curtain of hair that fell on the front of her shirt and undid the top two buttons to reveal her necklace. He smiled and kissed her gently on the neck. "And this..." he murmured. "You still wear this too..." he let one hand slip through her hair and massage her head, whilst his lips continued to move over her neck and collarbone.

"Matthew..." she murmured. "Stop..."

Matthew pulled away reluctantly. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing..." Ivy said quietly. "I just..." she undid the buttons of his shirt, looking at his chest. "Where's your medallion?" she asked gently.

Matthew smiled. "Right where it has been since I got it..."

"No... it's not..."

Matthew nodded. "It is..."

Ivy frowned. "Where?"

Matthew grinned and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the medallion Ivy had given him appeared on his chest. Ivy smiled, and kissed his chest gently. Matthew smiled, letting her run her tongue over his skin for several seconds, then gently pulling her head away.

"So..." he said quietly.

"So what?" Ivy murmured, trying to move closer to him.

"You still want to get married?" he asked quietly, stroking her cheek gently.

Ivy smiled, hiding the true feeling of joy that errupted in her chest. "I think I could..." she murmured.

"You could what..?" Matthew grinned.

"Get married to you..." she smiled, then added more seriously, "with my fathers blessing of course!"

Matthew nodded and put on a serious air. "Of course. We cannot be going against your fathers wishes. He may wish to wed you to some rich old man who drinks brandy all day and will shower you with money and riches..."

Ivy giggled and kissed his nose.

Matthew smiled. "Now about your dress..."

"I'm wearing white!" Ivy said simply.

Matthew frowned. "But surely it will just get dirty when I rip it off and throw it on the floor...?"

"And why would you want to do that?" Ivy asked innocently.

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Surely you haven't forgotten?"

Ivy smiled. "Maybe I have..." she nuzzled his nose. "Why don't you remind me?"

Matthew faked hesitation. "I wouldn't want your father to find me in bed with his virgin daughter..." he winked at her, then kissed her ear. "Then again..." he murmured. "I don't think I'll be able to wait until our wedding night..."

---

Ivy rested her head on Matthews bare chest, tracing the gash identical to hers with her fingers. Matthew looked down at her rebelliously messy hair and smiled. "Your hair needs brushing." he said, catching her hand and bringing it to his mouth, taking two of her fingers into his mouth and running his tongue over them. "Mmmm... oo 'aste 'ice." Ivy frowned.

"What?" she asked, pulling her hand away gently.

"You taste nice..." Matthew said. "I'm going to eat you up!"

Ivy giggled. "No. I don't think so."

"But I do..." Matthew murmured. "I really, really do." He wrapped his arms around her, then lay her on her back, lying on top of her. "And..." he said quietly. "Now you can't move..." he grinned wickedly. "And I'm going to eat you..."

Ivy laughed, then froze as Matthews hand moved to under her arms. "No... don't even think about it... no!" she squealed as Matthew tickled her viciously. "Stop!" She squeaked. "Matthew! Please stop!" she squirmed underneath him. Matthew paused.

"Why would I want to do that?" He asked quietly.

"Because..." Ivy started. "Because... because otherwise I won't marry you..."

Matthew smiled. "Yes you will..." he grinned and kissed her nose. "I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too..."

Matthew looked at her for several seconds, then kissed her, rolling over and pulling her on top of him. One hand slid around her waist, while the other pressed her head lightly against his. He ran his tongue lightly over her lips, feeling them open slowly to allow him in. He gently eased his tongue into her mouth, finding her tongue and running lightly over its surface. He pulled away by an inch. "This is nice..." he murmured.

Ivy nodded. "Yes..."

"You taste amazing..." he grinned. "I might eat you for breakfast if you're not careful."

Ivy grinned. "You don't taste too bad, but..." she slid down the bed, under the blankets. Matthew froze.

"What in the Black Gods Realm are you doing...?" he asked, then froze as her hand found him. He lifted the blankets and raised an eyebrow. "I dont think so missy." he said firmly. He took her hands and pulled her up the bed. "You're too young for that kind of behaviour!" He tapped her on the nose, then held her against him.

"I'm eighteen now, I'll have you know!" Ivy argued.

Matthew nodded. "I know... and you're too young."

Ivy sighed and fell silent, then smiled. "You didn't think I was too young when I was fifteen..."

Matthew froze, then tried to think of a comeback. "I was... much less mature when I was nineteen you know."

Ivy nodded. "Yes, I do know... but even so..." her hand reached under the blanket. Matthew flipped over and landed on her.

"Stop doing that!" he said firmly.

"Or what...?" Ivy whispered, running her hand over his chest.

"Or I'll have to make you pay for it..."

Ivy smiled. "I'm intrigued..." Ivy said quietly. "How about you show me what you mean..?"

----

"I think roses... red and white roses..." Ivy said, sitting herself on Matthews knee. They'd woken early and spent the last few hours talking absently about weddings.

Matthew said nothing, he merely smiled and kissed her shoulder.

"Well?" Ivy asked quietly.

"Well what?" he murmured.

"You haven't been listening have you?" Ivy said quietly.

"Of course I have..." Matthew said.

"So then, what do you think about red and white roses?"

Matthew smiled. "Whatever you want... I don't need anything except you there... we could get married in a haystack and I wouldn't care..."

Ivy sighed. "But that's not the point! You have to like it too!"

Matthew caught her hand and kissed it. "Do you like red and white roses?"

"Yes..." Ivy said slowly.

"Well then... I like red and white roses..." He kissed her cheek. "Come on, breakfast, then tomorrow you get properly knighted... fun fun fun!" he grinned and tickled her hips. She squirmed and jumped up.

"Don't do that again!" Ivy hissed.

"Yes, Mrs Tirragen."

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "I'm not 'Mrs Tirragen' yet." she said calmly.

"Indeed not, but I was just testing it out... familiarizing myself with the name..." he smiled and stood up, taking her hand. "But, if you'd rather be called Miss Goldenlake then fine..." he kissed her forehead then led her from the room. "You know I still have to ask your Dad's permission, right?"

Ivy shook her head. "No you don't."

Matthew nodded. "I do. I'm a traditionalist."

Ivy raised an eyebrow at him. "You are are you? In that case we can't get married anyway."

Matthew frowned. "Why not?"

Ivy looked at him then smiled. "I'm not a virgin bride, as you well know."

Matthew smiled, then leant down next to her ear. "Nobody else needs to know that though, do they?"

Ivy giggled. "Alright ask him. But even if he says no, I'm still going to marry you." she grinned at him. "You're not getting out of it that easy."

"I wouldn't try." Matthew smiled. "You should take the ring off though... I don't think he's noticed yet... I mean, I'm sure Buri told him we got engaged, it's just that..."

Ivy covered his mouth with her hand, then took it away to put the ring in his pocket. Matthew put his hand in then smiled "Come on then."

----

Breakfast felt odd for Ivy. She knew the rest of her family were keeping an eye on her, trying to see if she was really as alright as she made out to be. What they didn't realize was that being with Matthew the night before, and making love with him like they had, had made her realize that Gavin could never have come close to her when Matthew was around. His kiss might have been warm, and he might have loved her, but she could never feel the same way. Perhaps behind a masquerade of lies and magic she could have fallen for him, but not when she found out the truth. Her feelings towards him had changed so suddenly, that it could not by any means be mistaken for love. Lust, perhaps, but never love.

Matthew looked across the table at Ivy and smiled. "You alright?" he asked quietly.

Ivy nodded. "Perfect..." she whispered, and leant across the table to kiss him gently on the lips.

Matthew blinked. "Fair enough..." he murmured, then put his hand on her chin and pulled her towards him. Their lips met. Only when Matthew heard a slight cough from beside him did he pull away to look at Raoul, whos eyebrow was raised. "Sorry..." he muttered, letting go of Ivy.

Raoul sighed. "Was a time nobody would have let a man do that to his lady in public."

Matthew grinned. "What's the world coming to, hey?"

"Quite.." Raoul grinned, then got up. "I think I might go and find some juice..."

Matthew looked across at Ivy, then got up and ran to catch up with Raoul.

---

"Raoul..." Matthew said, catching up just before Raoul came to the kitchens. "I need to talk to you..."

Raoul nodded. "What about..?"

Matthew hesitated. "Ivy... I have to ask you something..."

Raoul looked at him. "What's wrong?"

Matthew shook his head. "Nothings wrong... I just... need to ask something..."

Raoul nodded slowly. "Go ahead, ask away..."

Matthew paused, then nodded. "Alright... you know I love Ivy, right?"

"I had an inkling..." Raoul said quietly, accepting the juice from a servant.

"Right... well... I wanted to know... I wanted to ask..."

"Get to the point Matthew." Raoul said, stifling a yawn.

Matthew sighed. "This is harder than you think..." he said, trying to think of what to say. "I love your daughter, alright... I can't live without her... I want to be able to show her that..." Matthew took a deep breath. "I want your permission to marry your daughter..."

Raoul choked on the juice he had been drinking, spraying it back into his glass. "I thought you were already engaged?"

Matthew ran a hand through his hair. "Erm... we are... I just... wanted your permission before we went public with it."

Raoul looked at Matthew carefully, his eyes showing nothing. After a while he spoke. "I ought to tear your head from your shoulders and yell at you for having the nerve to be such a cheeky gimp..."

Matthew gulped. "You should as in... you will... or, you should as in... you would but..."

Raoul sighed. "As far as I'm concerned, the two of you have been as good as married since you started... well.. you know...? If you want to have a wedding ceremony to make it official then..." he looked at Matthew. "You do realize any other man would slam you against the wall, right?"

Matthew nodded. "I think so..."

Raoul nodded. "Well... if you feel the need to make it official... go ahead..."

Matthew looked at him in shock. "You... You're serious?"

Raoul frowned. "Well, if you're serious, I'm serious."

Matthew stared. "That's... that's great..."

"Well don't jump for joy or anything!" Raoul said quietly.

Matthew laughed, then flipped backwards. "That's great... thank you..." he reached out a hand to shake Raouls, but Raoul shook his head.

"If you're going to join my family, you have to be prepared for the family traditions..."

Matthew hesitated. "What family traditions?" he said quietly.

Raoul grinned. "Man hugs, Tirragen. Good old man hugs!"

Matthew laughed. "Alright... I can live with that."

Raoul nodded. "Now here's the deal mister! You marry my daughter you have to treat her right! You have to give her whatever she wants and spoil her rotten! You have to be protective and loving! You have to honour her morals. You have to stop and tell her you love her at random intervals just so she feels loved and you have to..."

"Raoul!" Matthew said. "I know! I can't believe you think I wouldn't treat her like that... she's everything to me..."

Raoul sighed. "I know... I know only too well. I've known ever since I found out the two of you were... well..." he waved his hand airily.

Matthew nodded. "Thank you."

Raoul grinned. "Never got that man hug!" he said with a laugh. Matthew thought to say something, but was crushed as Raoul hugged him, slapping him on the back at the same time.

"Cheers for that Raoul..." Matthew said, rubbing his back. "Really needed it..."

----

"He said yes..." Matthew said, pulling Ivy into a corner.

Ivy stared. "Really?"

Matthew nodded. "Thats what I thought..." he kissed her forehead. Ivy looked at him for a second then jumped up and threw her arms around his neck.

"We're getting married!" she said happily, kissing his cheek. "We're getting married we're..." she stopped, seeing a young page with brown hair walking by. "Matthew... Liam... he knew..." she let go of Matthew and slid back to the floor.

"Knew what?" Matthew asked, confused, but looking round to wave to Liam. Liam's face lit up at seeing Matthew, and he ran forwards to hug him. Matthew was shocked but hugged the young boy back. "Liam... you alright?"

Liam looked at Ivy, then nodded at Matthew. "Where's the other man? The one you were with before? The blacksmith...?"

"He's... dead..." Ivy said quietly. "Did you... did you know he wasn't who he was pretending to be?"

Liam nodded slowly.

Ivy frowned. "But... how?"

Liam hesitated, then pulled out the flute like instrument he had been holding when he had seen Ivy and Garrick - no, Gavin -, in the stables. "It shows illusion charms."

"Why... why didn't you tell me?" Ivy asked.

Liam shrugged. "I didn't think you'd believe me when I told you you were courting the General of the army... ex-general." he added, looking at Matthew.

"So... what... how... where'd you get it?"

Liam looked at her, then at Matthew. "My Dad... my Dad told Matthew to give it to me..." Looking at Matthew, Liam smiled. "I'm glad you're back, I didn't like Gavin much."

Matthew smiled. "It's good to be back."

---Ivy knelt in front of Jonathan, the chainmail shirt her parents had given her glistening in the candlelight. Matthew could do nothing but stare with pride as Jonathan touched his sword first to one shoulder and then to the other. She'd done it... she'd become a knight... as she stood up, Matthew was the first to start the applause, joined closely by Raoul, Buri, and Ivy's family. Matthew tried not to grin at the obviously proud smile that played on Jonathans lips as he helped Ivy to her feet. Matthew stood up and ran to meet Ivy lifting her up and spinning her round, much to the amusement and astonishment of the other spectators.

"I'm so proud of you..." he said, then kissed her fiercely.

Ivy smiled at him and kissed his lips softly. "I'm a bit proud of you to be honest..."

Matthew frowned. "Why?"

Ivy giggled. "Not in public its rude... but..." she stood on tiptoe to whisper in her ear. "I think I want you..."

Matthew gulped. "Right... well... we'll have to put an end to that as soon as possible then, won't we?"

Ivy nodded. "Indeed we will..."

"But..." Matthew said quietly. "I've been thinking, and maybe we shouldn't... well... you know... again until we're married...?" He shrugged, "just a suggestion."

Ivy smiled. "I'd like to see you control yourself for that long."

"I'm sure I could, you're the one going crazy with want though... it would be you who couldn't."

"Excuse me, but we'd rather not be hearing this conversation!" Raoul said, raising an eyebrow at Matthew.

Ivy blushed whilst Matthew said nothing.

"Get over here and give your Dad a hug!" Raoul said, grinning at Ivy. Ivy smiled and hugged him fiercely. "My little girl the Lady Knight... third in the realm." he smiled with pride and kissed Ivy's hair. "I'm proud of you."

Ivy smiled. "Thank you."

More hugs followed. Matthew watched as Ivy was congratulated by each individual member of her family. He wondered for a while whether the army were missing them at war, but soon forgot that thought as Ivy pressed her lips to his.

"Right!" Raoul said. "I've taken it on myself to organize a party, so off we go to the throne room!"

Ivy looked at Matthew and took his hand. "Come on."

---

They were dancing in the middle of the room. It was getting late. Several of Ivy's family were heading towards the drunken mark, including Numair, who was once again babbling his famous drunken speeches.

"When are we going to tell them all?" Ivy asked quietly.

"What? That we're getting married?" He looked around the room. "Not right now... there too drunk to remember it in the morning... and besides... I just want to dance with you."

---

**Err... ok... well we're heading towards the end now... I think I'm going to have about two more chapters and then VOILA that will be the end... I'll ask you all now if you think there should be a sequel so that i can think of a decent ending to lead onto one**

**Mage of the Heart**


	37. Bound by Fire

**I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**I'll tell you now: I know nothing of medieval weddings, so just bare with me on this yeah? Thanks.**

**----------- **

A year later, Matthew lay in his bed, smiling to himself. It was the night before he and Ivy's wedding. The war was finally over. In retrospect, it had been over since the Carthakian people found that their leader Rageo was dead, and realized that they would not gain the riches they had been promised before the war. It had taken several months to find Kaddar - he had been locked in a dungeon in his own palace - and several more to find Kalasin. Matthew smiled. Kalasin's return had been he and Ivy's doing. Disguised as servants, the two had snuck into the palace to find Kalasin tied most viciously to a bedpost. She had been there for most of the war, and if Rageo had won, he had planned to kill Kaddar and the reigning monarchs of Tortall, and take Kalasin as his wife. Matthew was thankful no such thing had happened.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling to his room. This time tomorrow, he and Ivy would be married, and then nothing could come between them. They'd be together forever. Matthew felt his heart skip a beat at the thought. If any other men knew her, if any other men had spent time with her enough to see the real Ivy behind the brave, fighter mask she wore, most would have given everything for just a night with her. And here he was, about to enter into a lifetime with her... an endless string of countlessly amazing nights... he was the luckiest man alive. And he knew it.

----------------

Ivy looked across at her dress, smiling slightly. It was white. She didn't care what Matthew thought of her going in white when she was no longer a virgin. It was her special day, and she was wearing white. She smiled. Of course, Matthew didn't know that. He thought she was wearing blue... well, she'd surprise him. He needn't know _everything _that would happen on their wedding day. Some things were meant to be a surprise... she smiled. This was one of them.

----------

Matthew looked around at the chapel. It looked more beautiful than ever. Red and white roses were entwined at the end of each of the pews, as well as one pair being placed delicately on the altar, facing the seats where, in a few hours, more than a hundred people would be sat. Matthew grinned slightly. Until the week before, Matthew hadn't known the majority of Ivy's family even by name, now he was about to be part of their family...

"Matthew?"

Matthew turned to look at Numair. "Morning..." Matthew said, nodding slightly.

"You... alright?"

Matthew nodded. "Fine... perfectly... perfect..." he murmured.

Numair frowned and walked down to stand next to him. "You sure?"

Matthew nodded, then shook his head. "No... you ever had that feeling in your stomach? The one where you're so happy you feel like you're going to bring every thing you've ever eaten back up again?"

Numair grinned. "Of course I have. I had it when I married Daine... all men who truly love the person they're marrying get it... just relax, drink lots of water, and stop worrying."

Matthew smiled. "Relax. Water. Stop worrying. Got it." He smiled, then stayed silent for a second. Suddenly, "are you sure I should drink anything? Because I really don't think it's..."

"Matthew..." Numair interrupted. "I'm best man. It's my job to know these things."

Matthew sighed. "Alright... I guess you're right..."

"I'm always right Matthew." Numair said cockily. Matthew swiped at his head and hit, making Numair dizzy.

"Oh... Goddess, Mithros... I swear I didn't mean to do that! I swear it wasn't..."

"Matthew I'm fine." Numair said firmly. "Now don't stay down here too long or you'll be late for the wedding. You need to get changed." He walked off, rubbing the back of his head.

-------

Matthew stood in the middle of the chapel for several minutes, then felt a sudden chill down his spine. He spun round to see Pyroma walking towards him, blonde hair shimmering. Matthew stared, then knelt.

"Oh, my dear boy, no more of this silly kneeling business or I might blush!"

Matthew frowned then stood up, unsure what to say.

"So..." Pyroma said quietly. "Today is your wedding..."

Matthew nodded. "Yes... that's alright... isn't it?"

Pyroma smiled and nodded. "Oh yes... I just have to warn you of some... complications..."

Matthew straightened. "What kind of complications?" He asked quietly.

Pyroma smiled at him. "Oh, nothing to worry about really, just some things that you and your... wife-to-be... might need to know about."

Matthew stared at her. "You mean... something... important...?"

Pyroma nodded with a smile. "Indeed. Of course, it would be much easier if you were both here... it saves me telling it twice." She snapped her fingers. There was a crack. Matthew turned away at the flash of light.

"We aren't supposed to see each other before the wedding!" Matthew argued. "Can't you just tell me and I'll explain it later?"

Pyroma laughed. "Don't be silly dear boy! And currently, there is no time. Ever since your friend Numair Salmalin left the room, time has been stopped, so you won't have seen each other at any _time _before your wedding."

Matthew heard Ivys familiar cough and looked round. "Matthew... what's going on?"

"Oh enough! Darling I'm Pyroma, Goddess of Fire and Love, now if you don't mind I have some explaining to do about this wedding!"

"But.."

"Silence young lady. Just because you are Lord Goldenlakes daughter does not mean I cannot use my divine power to shut you up!" She smiled at Ivy, then looked at Matthew.

"Well... as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted..." at this point she looked accusingly at Ivy, who was, at that moment, wondering what had possibly earnt her the right to the title Goddess, "this wedding shall... well... putting it plainly... it will bring around some changes for the both of you... now.. I have no idea if you know this, but you are the first Pyro and Soulmate to actually join in marriage," she smiled reassuringly, "and this will be rather new for everyone here and the divine realms..."

"Can we get to the point, please?" Matthew said firmly. Ivy smiled with satisfaction. Perhaps Pyroma wouldn't mind yelling at _her, _but she wouldn't want to be on bad terms with her precious Pyro.

"Indeed..." Pyroma said. "Well... first of all, expect a very large amount of fire at your wedding. Secondly..."

"Whoa!" Matthew interrupted. "How much fire?"

Pyroma shook her head dismissively. "Never mind darling, you'll find out later. Secondly... your children shall either be Pyro's or Ice Mages. Generally, as far as I am aware of the divine plan, Ice Mages are girls and Pyro's are boys..." she smiled at Ivy. "Unfortunately you will have your hands full!"

Ivy and Matthew stared at her. "Pyros?" They said together. "Ice Mage's?"

Pyroma nodded. "Indeed." she looked up at the cieling as if expecting to see something of interest. "Best hurry and send you back... almost time for the wedding..." there was a loud crack and Ivy disappeared, along with Pyroma.

"Mithros..." Matthew whispered. "I don't think kids are on the to-do-list just yet.."

Pyroma's voice sounded in his head. "By the way.. your Pyrotic children will be Pyrotic from birth, but may lose control once they find their soulmate."

"What?" Matthew gasped. Silence. "Come on! You can't just say that and not help me out!" He waited. Silence.

---------------

Two hours later, Ivy was being walked down the aisle of the Chapel by Raoul. Matthew could only stare as he looked at her. Her dress was white, shot with diamonds, trailed behind her gracefully. Her veil came down to her chin, and was a thin sheet of almost see through fabric. She looked more beautiful than he had ever seen anyone... without thinking, he walked forwards to meet her, holding out a hand. Raoul seemed to hesitate, then kissed Ivy's cheek before releasing her arm and nodding to Matthew. Ivy placed her hand in his and smiled at him. He walked her the rest of the way to the altar, where the Mithran priest looked at them carefully.

"Dear people, we are gathered here today, in the eyes of Mithros, the Goddess and all others in the Divine Realms, to join in matrimony Sir Matthew of Tirragen, and Lady Knight Ivy of Goldenlake and Malories Peak..."

Matthew wasn't listening to a word that was said. He merely looked at Ivy, glowing with warmth as she looked back at him. He ignored the priest and mouthed "I love you" to her. Ivy smiled. "I love you too" she mouthed.

------------

"Do you, Matthew of Tirragen, take Ivy of Goldenlake and Malories Peak, to be your wife, to live together after the Gods ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart's deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?"

Matthew smiled at Ivy, and, not taking his eyes away from her, said, "I will."

"And do you, Ivy of Goldenlake and Malories Peak, take Matthew of Tirragen, to be your husband, to live together after the Gods ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart's deepest devotion, forsaking all other, keep yourseld only unto him as long as you both shall live?"

Ivy nodded, tears in her eyes. "I will..." she whispered, smiling through her watering eyes.

"And what token of love do you offer?" Someone handed the rings to the priest, Matthew wasn't quite sure who. He couldn't look away from Ivy. The priest continued. "May these rings be blessed as the symbol of this affectionate unity. These two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever they go – may they always return to one another. May these two find in each other the love for which all men and women yearn. May they grow in understanding and in compassion. May the home which they establish together be such a place that many will find there a friend. May these rings on their fingers symbolize the touch of the spirit of love in their hearts." The priest held the ring out to Matthew, who reluctantly looked away from Ivy to take it from his hand, then looked to Ivy, who offered her left hand gracefully.

"Matthew, in placing this ring on Ivy's finger, repeat after me:" The priest took a deep breath and looked at Matthew, who nodded. "Ivy, you are now consecrate to me as my wife from..."

"Ivy, you are now consecrate to me as my wife from this day forward, and I give you this ring as the pledge of my love..." he looked apologetically at the priest, then carried on, "even though a metal circle is a pretty pathetic comparison, and could never show you how much you mean to me. With this ring, I thee wed."

Ivy bit her lip to stop herself laughing, then let Matthew slide the ring on her finger.

The priest, now looking slightly annoyed, looked at Ivy, "Ivy, in placing this ring on Matthew's finger, repeat after me: Matthew, you are now consecrate to me as my husband from this day forward."

"Matthew, you are now consecrate to me..." she grinned, "-and only me- as my husband from this day forward." Matthew grinned, and mouthed "Only you" to her.

The priest took a deep breath then continued. "And I give you this ring as the pledge of my love, and as the symbol of our unity."

Ivy smiled, then said quietly. "And I give you this ring as the pledge of my love, and as the symbol of our unity." Matthew couldn't resist mouthing something else. "Calm down, union comes later." he winked. It seemed the priest saw as he shot a rather filthy look at Matthew before carrying on.

"And with this ring, I thee wed." He finished, sounding agitated.

"And with this ring, I thee wed," Ivy smiled, sliding the ring onto Matthew's wedding finger.

"May you always share with each other the gifts of love, be one in heart and in mind, may you always create a home together that puts in your hearts, love, generosity and kindness." The priest looked, somewhat hurriedly, away from Matthew and Ivy, disguising his agitation. "In as much as Matthew and Ivy have consented together in marriage before this company of friends and family and have pledged their faith, and declared their unity by giving and receiving a ring, are now joined."

Matthew smiled. "Just you wait," he murmured, leaning forward to whisper in her ear. The priest seemed to be trying his best to ignore their talking and looked at them again.

"You have pronounced yourselves husband and wife, but remember to always be each other's best friend." Matthew met Ivy's eyes, smiling.

"What, therefore, God has joined together, let no man put asunder." The priest raised his hands as if in blessing.

"And so, by the power vested in me by the Almighty Gods of the Divine Realm, I now pronounce you man and wife, and may your days be good and long upon the earth." He paused then nodded at Matthew. "You may now kiss the bride."

Matthew grinned. "Her name is Ivy..." he murmured, then turned to lift Ivy's veil from her face. He leant forwards, put his arms around her, and kissed her gently, finding her mouth open to allow his tongue to enter. Almost instantly after their tongues met, fire gathered around them, forming ropes of fire, which sank into their skin. Matthew pulled away and looked at Ivy.

"What just happened...?" Ivy asked quietly.

Matthew shrugged. "I got hot on you... again." he winked and kissed the corner of her mouth. "I love you."

Ivy smiled and stroked his cheek. "I love you too..."

"Think you can spend your life with me?" Matthew asked quietly.

Ivy smiled. "I think it might be a possibility..." she smiled as his mouth met hers again.

----------------

**I dont know about it... but ah well... comments would be nice, one more chapter I think...**

**Mage Of The Heart**


	38. As Perfect As You

**And can you feel the love tonight  
How it's laid to rest  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best**

_Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Lion King Soundtrack_

**I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters**

**----------------------------**

Matthew smiled as Raoul finished his speech which was, admittedly, slightly rambled due to the glass of wine that he had drunk, which he had reacted to in a rather jolly sort of way, after years without it. Matthew looked at Ivy as she hugged Raoul, and smiled, then walked over to shake Raoul's hand.

"You take care of my little girl..." Raoul slurred, grasping Matthew's shoulder, "Or I'll give you what for..."

Matthew smiled. "I know, Raoul." He pulled Ivy to his side. "Thanks for letting me have her..."

Raoul nodded. "Yes... well... not always going to be around... need to know there's some kind of decent fellow looking after her don't I?"

Matthew grinned. "Of course..."

"I suppose it's time you go and dance soon..."

-----------------

Matthew smiled and rested his forehead against Ivy's.

"You look amazing..." he murmured.

Ivy smiled. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"I had to try didn't I?" He said quietly, leaning forwards to kiss her lips briefly. "I love you..." he murmured, then kissed her again.

"Mmmmm..." Ivy said, pulling away slowly. "I love you too..." She met his eyes. "You taste nice..." she said cheekily.

"Really?" Matthew said, pulling her closer. "Well I suppose you don't taste too bad... I don't know... we'll have to check..." he leant forward and captured her lips, then pulled away smiling. "Could be worse, I'll have to get a better taste later..." he stroked her back lovingly, then smiled. "When I punish you..."

Ivy frowned. "Punish me for what?"

Matthew raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Ivy said.

He leant down to whisper in her ear. "Your dress... is far too white... for a woman who is not a virgin to wear..." He kissed her gently on the ear. "So I suppose I'll just have to pretend won't I?" he sighed. "No wild wedding night for you young lady..."

Ivy raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm sure I can make you forget that small obstacle..."

Matthew grinned. "Really? I'd very much like to see proof of that missy..."

"Ok..." Ivy whispered. She stood up on tiptoe and whispered in his ear. "When we get back to our room tonight, I'm going to have a very, very, tight dress on, and you'll just have to succumb to your feelings..."

Matthew chuckled. "You're really far too innocent to be talking like that..."

Ivy nodded. "Your fault."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Everythings my fault..."

"Indeed..." Ivy kissed his jaw.

"I dont suppose..." he murmured, "that if I were to offer you my sincerest apologies, you'd pay any attention...?"

"No..." Ivy said quietly, "I don't either...

break

"In my eyes, you're perfect. I love you so much, and I cant wait to spend my life with you..." Matthew met Ivy's eyes and leant down to kiss her lips.

-------------------------

Matthew closed the door behind them, never taking his lips from Ivy's. His hands ran down her back, resting at her hips. Ivy pressed herself closer to him, feeling for his response... Matthew pulled back.

"Don't be naughty!" He whispered, then kissed her again. Ivy smiled into his mouth, letting him lift her and carry her over to the bed. He laid her down gently, then bent to ease his mouth over her neck.

"How'd you want to do this..?" he murmured, flicking his tongue over her collarbone. Ivy put her hands on the side of his face and pulled his head gently up to look at her. She smiled.

"It doesn't matter... I'm with you..."

Matthew smiled, leaning to kiss her lips softly. "I love you..."

"I love you too..."

Matthews hands began to slowly undo Ivy's dress, slowly revealing the flesh he had denied himself for almost six months. "No love making until our wedding night..." he'd said. Now he didn't know how he'd managed it. Ivy undid his shirt, sliding it off his back and kissing his chest. Matthew groaned. It was alright for hershe didn't feel breathless at the sight of a mans chest. When he saw her chest, he'd get choked up and find it hard to breathe. He forgot his deliberate lack of haste, he still undressed her gently, but he was much faster in doing so.

They were both naked within minutes, he kissed her body softly, luxuriating in the taste of her flesh.

"Matthew..." Ivy whispered softly. He lifted his head from her stomach and smiled.

"What is it?" he said, one hand rubbing her cheek, the other resting on her thigh.

"You know what Pyroma said...?"

Matthew hesitated then nodded. "What about it..?"

"I just... I don't know..."

Matthew smiled and moved to kiss the corner of her mouth. "Nothing has to happen about it just yet... we've got our whole lives... don't worry about it..."

"I'm not worrying." Ivy assured him. "I'm just... do you...do you...?"

"Do I what?" Matthew asked.

"Do you want to have children...?

Matthew looked at her. "What? You mean... now?"

Ivy nodded slowly, then shook her head. "You don't have to... I've gone too far... can we just...?"

Matthew covered her mouth and smiled. "Ivy... I don't want anything other than to have children with you... I just didn't know you wanted them as well..." he kissed her fiercely.

Ivy kissed back, shocked. "Really?" She gasped.

"Yes!" Matthew laughed. He stroked her hair. "Oh Gods..." he chuckled. "Mini Ivy's..."

"Mini Matthews..." Ivy grinned.

Matthew smiled. "Mini Matthew's is a great idea..." he kissed her lips again. "When do you want them...?"

Ivy bit her lip. "Now..." she said slowly.

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "I suppose I'll have to get busy then won't I?" He unclasped her necklace and lay it on the table next to the bed. He leant forwards and kissed her.

--------------------

"Oh... I love you..." Ivy gasped. "Matthew..." she moaned. "Oh, Gods... Matthew..."

"I love you too..." Matthew managed. He held her as she shook in his arms, gasping as he joined her with his release. He stayed inside her, kissing her cheek gently.

"How many children do you want?" he murmured.

"Alot..." Ivy grinned.

Matthew smiled. "Suppose we better get practising then..." he kissed her softly. "You're perfect."

"Not as perfect as you..."

-------------------

"Matthew! I swear to the Gods when this is over you are dead!" Ivy screamed, gripping Matthews hand so tight she left white marks on his skin.

"Alright sweetie..." Matthew said calmly. "I'll let you kill me, just keep going alright?"

Ivy gasped. "Easy for you to say! I'd like to see you pushing a baby out of your bleeding memb..."

"Sweetie, we really don't need to here that!" Matthew said over her. "And if there's ever a way of a man giving birth instead, I'll do it ok? Now just keep pushing. Grip my hand as hard as you can ok?"

Ivy pushed again, once more digging her fingers into his hand as hard as she could. Five minutes later, Ivy gasped, falling back on the pillow of the infirmary and watching as Matthew was handed his daughter.

"Ivy..." he murmured, sitting himself beside her and showing her their child, stroking her sweat soaked hair from her face. "You're a mummy..."

From somewhere, Ivy found the strength to sit up, and Matthew handed her their daughter.

"She looks like you..." Matthew whispered, putting an arm around his wife's shoulders. "She's beautiful..."

"She's got your eyes... look..." Ivy whispered, leaning onto Matthew's chest and smiling at her daughter. "We've got a baby..." Ivy said slowly. "We've got a baby!"

Matthew smiled and kissed his wife softly. "We're parents..." he murmured, then pulled away. "I'm... I'm a... I'm a Daddy?"

Ivy smiled and nodded. "Well done... you noticed..."

Matthew stared at her then kissed his daughters head, then found Ivy's lips.

"We need a name..." he said after a long, comfortable silence, looking at his small, happy family.

Ivy nodded. "What about Rose?" She asked slowly.

Matthew met her eyes and smiled. "I like that..." he reached out to take his daughters hand. "Rose of Tirragen, Goldenlake and Malories Peak..." his hand met Rose's then suddenly, there was a blaze of fire, then a hiss of steam. In Ivy's lap, next to Rose, there was a glowing diamond of ice, encasing a flame.

Matthew looked at Ivy, then Rose. "We've got an Icy Rose..." he smiled. "This is perfect..." he kissed Ivy's head. "I love you, Squire..."

---------------------

**With this ring you will be  
mine  
With this ring I'll multiply  
With this ring  
surrendering to you**

_Disenchanted Lullaby Foo Fighters_

_------------------_

**_And thats the end! Reviews? I will get started on the new story which I think will be called White Rose, but I'm not sure yet, as soon as possible. _**

**_I'd like to say thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed alomst every chapter of this story, especially Hecates Diamon and Aly (anonymous) people like you make me want to keep writing._**

**_Au revoir for now_**

_**Mage of the Heart**_


End file.
